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Where do we go from here? One day I am deliriously happy and the next I feel as though you have stabbed me in the heart with a hot poker. Your insecurities are casting a shadow on what future we may have had. Do not think me so shallow, I thought you knew me better than that.



Love peppered with lies is no love at all .............

It's been a very long day. It began with a nasty fight with my ex-husbands g/f the cunt. I have been divorced for a year as of today and Katie is the only girl my ex has dated since our 10 year marriage ended. Neither of us dated for 5 months after. Enters Katie, 10 yrs. younger than me they live together from day one, its been 7 months and I have never met her. Kinda strange don't ya think? Considering Jason and I have a son together and talk daily out of necessity.



Well he called me this a.m to see if our son got off to school ok (I've been sending kids off to school for 25 years) kinda useless for him to call but whatever. I cut him a break cuz its his only child. Anyways she decides to put her nose where it doesn't belong, hence I can hear her in the bg and tell him to tell her to shut the fuck up, I have a loud voice, she hears me and says "fuck you bitch" meanwhile my ex is trying to keep things calm and ignores the outburst because I say the same thing back to her and well he knows me well and I am a fighter, imagine that.....



The point is that I have never met her and she seems to have this animosity towards me, those were the first words we have ever exchanged as charming as they were lol. I have had no reason to dislike her and honestly could care less about her presence as I did the leaving and have no residual feelings for my ex.



But now I am pissed.......

Well today marks my 1st. yr. on VR. and what a year it has been! I have been thinking back to my initial first days here and can only laugh at myself at all the blunders I made and my naivety. I managed to get in a fight with a well known and respected House Master back in the day *shakes my head*, I was way out of line and now find it rather comical. Hopefully they don't remember hahaha. And my profile then, eeeek, I thought it was spiffy at the time, what a disaster....a brand new spanking whelp....



Well much has changed. I began my journey as a caitiff in the coven of Lost Souls before it disbanded and recently resurrected, I did well there while it lasted. My second month I was member of the month and had top favor earner. But no one had explained to me about coven forums and I didn't participate as I didn't know it existed......upon its disbanding I went to the coven of Secrets because I was friends at the time with the CM. I did even better there as I learned the ropes and before long I was ACM. Now, I loved the members there and considered them my family but the CM raziel and I had a falling out of sorts, I won't elaborate because he simply isn't worth it and I have already posted about it all in my journal. From there I went to the house of La Bella Oscuridad. What a classy bunch of people. Very intelligent conversations to be had and funny haha's abounded. I left with some new and great friends....



And now at last I have my own coven Complicit Dualities which I share with the lovely Epik/kryptick. We are 24 in the standings, not too shabby considering we have only been open for 5-6 weeks. I watch and learn. I love my coven and the family we have made and it will only get better as we grow.



Lastly and most importantly are the fantastic and wonderful friends I have made here. I hold them close to my heart and cherish each and every one of them. And I have found love in Beltrand, thank you darling....

I find it rather amusing that she didn't include this on her profile with the rest of her rating rules......no fear huh? instead she puts it in her journal...........loser..



*** I don't suck up to coven or house masters! They get what they get, I have no need to fear them. ****

I'm thinking more like a stay in purgatory.........you are blinded until I decide what to do with you...







07:52:59 - Aug 24 2008

Times Read: 11





fuck you i really don't care. if your reading this right now i want you to know i don't really care whtat you think.



i'm thinking about leaving the coven...i see no point in this anymore

omg, would you please just shut up, you look like a fool and are embarrassing me. I am sure the lot of your posts will get deleted as well they should be in my opinion and maybe that will give you some much needed humility and teach you not to go bragging and begging. You will learn soon enough that that sort of behavior doesn't and never will work with me. I feel like a teacher that has to put her student in a corner with a Dunce hat on! For heavens sake.......I like to think that I am a fair Coven Master but I have my limits and you are crossing them......

Well its almost 3 a.m once again and I am wide awake wondering if it could be due to the gazillion pepsi's I had today, hmmmmm. The worse part is that I haven't done a thing with my overabundance of energy besides playing on here. A little Olympic watching as usual but the kitchen floor keeps screaming at me "mop me, mop me!"......puts on my ear muffs.

I have surprised myself by crying, I just don't even know what to say at this point as I am completely exasperated. Just got off the phone from talking with my oldest son Darren and his sister was brought up. My only daughter who at 17 I had to kick out of the house a few months ago, some of you know the details.



Now I have not always been a perfect mother and went through a lot of counseling and trial and error since I was first a mother at age 17 myself. But I know damned well that I was pretty damn close when it came to my daughter. But after the conversation I just had with my son I feel like I have failed once again to be understood or respected.



It was quite obvious that he felt I did wrong by giving her the boot. But I will NOT have her stealing, lying and being disrespectful to me and not coming home till 10 the next morning as she pleases. There are rules in this house and I expect them to be obeyed and I have a 7 yr. old still at home I need to think about.



Whatever happened to the straight A student bound for college, the funny sweet little girl I once knew? She is now a drug induced stealing and lying bitch I no longer recognize, nor do I like...



I have offered her my heart and support but you cannot help those that don't think they need it...

Just heard on the news that the "Big Foot" was just a rubber suit, imagine that!! What truly disgusts me though was that it was an officer of the law that had made the claim, I'm thinking someone is going to be looking for a job.........

OMG why is it that every other profile I rate of the female variety they state they like girls too, bi-sexual or lesbians. And they all just happen to be in high school, hmmmmmm......Now is it just my imagination or does there seem to be a humongous surge in bisexuality among women on this site. Oh wait, GIRLS not women....



Methinks some of it is just plain BS!!! Yep, sure do...

Kinda funny when I have only had sex once in almost a year, but hey thanks for the laugh *grins*.....



PersistantFool

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Date: 23:13:49 - Aug 17 2008

Rating: 1

Comment: you are a slut!!!

Wow, its been 2 days and I still feel like poo, spent most of yesterday praying to the porcelain goddess lol. Damn it'll be awhile till I go out again, geez I had fun even though there are parts I can't remember hahaha......

Thank God its Thursday lol.......Going out with the girls tonight for some much needed down time, I can't wait as a few I haven't seen in 20 years! It'll be good to catch up and reminisce, oh and maybe a little bashing, just a little hehehe.......tomorrow will be an ugly day though, the older I get the harder it is to recover. I just hope my ex-husband keeps our son through tomorrow or I'm afraid I might be a grumpy bunny......

Geez Louise, are there ever back tracking hypocrites on this site *shrugs* nuff said.......*turns head and vomits*....

WOW, much ado about nothing? Last I checked this was a site to discuss vampires and all things Dark, not a porn site. You hear people complaining about the pedophiles and sexual harassers on this site, which their are mind you but are taken cared of by the staff when found out. But then we get these barely 18 young girls or younger that use a half nude and very suggestive pic of themselves as their avatar and they have the nerve to be offended by comments left on their profile. This is an invitation for sexual solicitation. What do you expect? Put it in your portfolio if you must feel the need to "express" yourself. But think about the message you are sending, what are you trying to say? That I am open to anything? Hit on me I won't mind? That I give freely? I am just a sexual object, with nothing more to offer?



Now I am not referring to the artistic pictures of some I have seen on here, they are tasteful and beautiful for arts sake. There is a distinct difference.

Well yeah, I should be sleeping as its 3 a.m but I can't as usual so I am reading and I came across something that just kinda spoke to me. This is an excerpt from a novel I am reading by Dean Koontz called Odd Hours, I really like it.....





"Very nice," I said eventually. "The oil lamps."

She said, "The light of other days."

"Other days?"

"The sun grows the plants. The plants express essential oils. And the oils fire the lamps---giving back the light of other days."



I'd never thought of the light of an oil lamp being the stored, converted, and then liberated sunshine of years past, but of course it was.

Fighting with the boyfriend and it really sucks, maybe we shouldn't be in the same coven, I feel as though I am being censored constantly and its really pissing me off.....

*sighs* I am starting to suffer from VR burnout. Its been a very long month getting the coven up and running, opening my Petal account and leveling it up as fast as I can, then hella drama with the vr toddlers. At least all of those accounts have been deleted from the system, ISP's blocked, mucho thanks to Cancer and Sevenn my hero's/Heroine.



Now I seriously need to revamp my whole profile now that Petal is up to par. But I don't know where to start and am not looking forward to it but its time for a change. Uggghhh.....

I want to kill my ex right now the prick! When we got divorced a year ago I wanted out so badly that I just took with me the things I bought myself, he got the boats, the house we built together etc......what a fool I was, its been a year and he still hasn't paid me the money he owes me for my investment in the house, my PERSONAL savings that I put in, a small amount I assure you but I need it right now more than ever and I could have asked for half of everything but I felt bad for leaving his sorry ass.....I'm stressed....



The Fucktard....

Here is the list of members names that were created just to down rate my profile and portfolio all beginning when EvilBeing rated my port a 1 and I returned the favor, gee he gave me a 1 but sure went to a lot of trouble because I regifted, tsk tsk tsk..........



MY SHIT LIST:



GolemTheDarkBeing



EvilBeing



assclown



SomeoneEvil



1OfMany



TheMurderer



HellChasser



AND ALL JUST FOR ME, LETS SHOW THEM SOME SPECIAL VR LOVE SHALL WE?

Holy Fuck its almost 4 a.m and I am still so wide awake that I wanna cry, boo hoo ...........I need some damn sleep, frickin frackin' insomnia has a stranglehold on me once again......somebody tell my brain to shut the hell up

GolemTheDarkBeing welcome to my shit list lol......