The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The Open Window
02:22 Jun 20 2006
Times Read: 706






At then end of this room there is an outdated, run-down window. Outside of this window shows a certain type of beauty to me. This magnificent sight is one I can only explain to you in immense detail.

As I walk to the end of a long dark room the old, tattered window glows with light all around it. When I start to open the badly grazed glass, an aroma escalates through the entire room. The fragrance is of fresh water and a floral scent of roses and daisies. This smell is unwinding and makes a person want to lie down and dream. This perfume-like scent stays with me like a shadow. But, the difference is this shadow brings comfort, not immoral loneliness.

Then finally I look out the work window and feel this current of wind. The gusts spiral through the atmosphere like a tornado running on the land. It’s sound of beats glide like a flute’s harmonic music. It sounds and feels both so serene and pleasant at this time. Then the sun peaks out from the clouds and beams down its warm and cozy rays. Both the wind’s and sun’s flow and beams feel like a pattern that sinks into all my pores.

Soon as I look over the trees I see a path leading to the water’s edge. This path is veiled with an abundant amount of mahogany-red shaded leaves. The path seems to look like a circuitous maze like a crop circle. At the edge of the water ripples start to appear on the surface of the blue-green water. The ripples start to flow like a slow strike of a drum and keeps going. Each side of the lake forms ripples that charge toward each other like armies coming from all sides.

The sights, sounds, and smells seem to slowly disappear around me. The ragged window steadily closes and the exuding odor fades leisurely with every second. The bright aura around the scratched and tattered window withers away quietly as the noise dims. Then all the magnificent senses perish and darkness falls eagerly. Now everything vanishes and its’ silent like the empty nothingness of space.

The five stars or hangoverism
00:57 Jun 20 2006
Times Read: 707






One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function

relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes

and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak &

fries.





Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but

you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are

chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing

around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion.

There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.





Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not

productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume

reminds

you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to

drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed

watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3

iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once.





Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or

else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late

and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice

clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of

your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while

riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even

your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about

five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of

everyone

who enters the bathroom.



Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying

the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of

every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in

the

corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get

the

remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to

generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the

foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed

this

morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like

discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in.

The

sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water

all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now ...



THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon



THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder;

Loquacious; Transubstantiate



THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

Nope, no more booze for me.

Sorry, but you're not really my type.

Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.

Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

------------------------------------------

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...

but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn, we

fucked up.