The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

As someone who has faced as much disappointment as most people, I've come to trust not that events will always unfold exactly as I want, but that I will be fine

either way. I trust that the challenges we face in life are always lessons

that serve our soul's growth.



I am a fallen angel... no one was there to catch me... your embrace has caused my hate... look what I have become... When life gives u lemons, squirt juice in ur enemies eyes!

Patience is the ability to keep

your motor idling when you

feel like stripping your gears.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will.



When the road youre trudging seems all up hill.



When funds are low and the debts are high.



And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.



When care is pressing you down a bit.



Rest, if you must, but dont you quit.



Life is queer with its twists and turns.



As everyone of us sometimes learns.



And many a failure turns about.



When he might have won had he stuck it out:



Dont give up though the pace seems slow



You may succeed with another blow.



Success is failure turned inside out



The silver tint of the clouds of doubt



And you never can tell how close you are.



It may be near when it seems so far:



So stick to the fight when youre hardest hit



Its when things seem worst that you must not quit.

The sun raised early

Mornings in a few,

Ready to go hunting

On a very cold day.



I look around and see a few

Resting along the meadow,

White tailed as they are

Tan as the coats they wear.



When I walk by I see

A doe that might be ones mate,

Then out of the blue a big 12-pointer

Just right across the Fort Knox road

Stems pop up,

A bud is about to bloom.

A flower of its kind,

White and blue.



Animals unbury themselves,

To pop out their heads.

To look all around,

For what’s up and about.



Others are blooming,

Many are running around.

Some young ones to see,

The wondrous days of spring.

Something not found here,

Hidden from a stormy day,

There escaped from harm.

Night

Cold, Dark

Comes very slow,

Alone in each place

Unknown

There are so many reasons why people should help each other. For helping me there is no reason to. I’m invading my own self in little bits of information. Every time I talk to someone they think there is something wrong with me; maybe there is. Maybe my insides don’t take to talking and I act odd around those who supposedly care for my well-being. I guess in whatever state of mind I’m in they think I need something to take care of it. Yet, it might just backfire in a way no one can imagine. Addiction; something I don’t want to feel or at least I think not. Depression; many people think it’s in me and deal with it immaturely which does make me depressed.

“I don’t know” is all I can say to the questions people ask me. I do know that some people don’t appreciate the being of me and for many others, we may never know. I still feel uncertain of what people think of me it’s hard not to act the way I am. Not wanting to talk and/or being around my peers, is it a sickness or just human nature? I’ll never understand what its like to worry about myself in someone else’s eyes. Being exhausted with this all the time hurts myself. I wish I knew what was going on so I can move on and relinquish all I wish not to be.

I wish telling off is the next thing on my list. I really want those who get told off to understand how annoying they are. With all the giggling, gossip, and acting like the (pricky) preppy bitchiness we all have to deal with. I hate it so much that I can’t hold it in. I really don’t give a lick with what I say to them. Some of them haven’t seem all the hell I have and if I have to go there well, I don’t care. I bet it can’t be worse to live like a demonic Christian than to suffer the way I have. This truly sucks but I have to deal with it: knowing what I am and what I shouldn’t be.

My dreams contribute to these acts forbidden in my religion to even think about it. This is probably why I should go to hell (really). My music is the only thing that keeps me from killing myself and dying. This prevents me from baring myself to unwanted souls. When it is given willingly I will surely die the next day because what I need to say is too sinful to some ears. I don’t know for sure if it’s all true but, just about ninety-eight percent of what I write is true and that’s a fact to me.

I may be dazed and confused for eternity from this day on but I guess it’s not important (like being remembered). All I have left is time so I should be filling my will all to give to those closest to my heart. Yet, I should forget all those who tried to help so I wont feel overburdened and holding onto the colors of dead skin of those people. I think I should give up and become a tongue of truth that tastes the burrito of the diseased mistake that falls away into a sacred lie that is unforgiven. The plastic men that have redefined pain-just stop and rise up their ten thousand fists that deify the deep end of the unknown with all of their might. Dare the white light to finally come out of the monkeys’ head. The fire of these last living souls live in this green world where all the daughters and sons of plunder all speak “I’m Alive!”

Some of the burdening days are good but most are dreadful. Being internally sick and going to school is the best feeling in the world (not really). Pain isn’t a big worry when there are loads of things going on. Trying to keep attention at a time needed is hard to do yet, if I don’t I will be punished. Most of the time we have had no choice in what the proper authority says in this matter. We just have to keep our path in the direction we want. It will be hard but if we follow the path our over takers will have no authority any more. When the people get through the tough times and create the good times it will be possible to get through the door of our life.

It’s truly hard to realize that the good times with your friends pass by so quickly. Everyone wants to make these moments last forever of for a long period of time. Some of us don’t really understand friendship unlike others who do and take it for granted. I’m in the middle of these times and I finally see what it fully means to me. This time is to never be forgotten but collected with the important friends. We mainly joke, kid, and be ourselves so we can be true not only to others but also to ourselves as well and not be labeled as a fake!

Stop judging me! Stop caring for what accessories I wear because I’m really getting PO’ed. I’m not satanic, gothic, (maybe emo) or any combination of them. I may wear a load of objects no my wrist but I don’t slit my wrists. Now if I get angry enough I’ll start to cuss like crazy. Giving an example would put you in to a shock and you would set me off. So this can be prevented I listen to rock music every morning until its not needed. The loud bass, drums, guitars, and vocals relinquish the tension before the day starts. It you get angry with me for this simple event you can zip it because you don’t want to see me in a mood. Or if you want to take the chance of setting a bomb off go ahead. If I were handed out detention after detention it would be so flipping possible. You’ve given me too many warnings (like you’re sexist). I should be punished like everyone else and if not this school should go up in flames.

We are the young and aspiring, the youth of the nation. I’m the portrait of a masterpiece conspiracy from the ghetto of cut up angels that sing the blue note of yesterdays feelings. The haunted tourniquet in a parallel universe reinvents your exit to the whisper of scarred tissue that is within me. I am the messenjah that tries to seek forgiveness, not to escape from all that I’ve got. I don’t know, this last breath is taking over me under the bridge of regret, I’ve tried to let it bleed, the scrape of the burning sensation of loneliness, that pure running source of comfort is forbidden for me to let out that temptation. I’ve tried to take it away but the otherside, by the way, has the impact of reasons I should let it out. I’m a fake of being ridiculous in content with losing the anything, right sign off my face. In my mind nothing is right and not being able to smile is an advantage to me but id a disadvantage to all who thinks I’m misplaced. There is no time to save me just leave me alone!

The autumn effect has set in and I’m finally waking up, I’m bound to now believe in the voices that shout for miles. Like the red sky I now stand and feel my worth of this half life. I have become the image of the invisible, a mistress of the liberate, into the blood to bleed. Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated as if the jumper came over the fault line. I’ve come over with narcolepsy in the semi-charmed life that holds fast hope. From this I am down with the sickness and I wish to be more than insects and prey. This wasteland has changed from seasons to cycles of violent fetish and fear. All I want to know is how’s it going to be when we give it all to the last one, the provider, for the real weapons and wounded. As I look through the iris of the burning man the earth will shake as the music box of the enemy begins to play. We are like moths to flame, the paper wings of the paralyzing kings take me back then to a life less frightening. I think saying thanks a lot is minuscule to what’s coming next, the phobics of tragedy!

White: All-purpose, purification, hallowing, Deity, Light



Yellow: Healing, Messages, travel, intellect, Air, Mercury



Orange: Harmony, money, gold, success, good influences, friends protection, Fire, Sun



Red: Lust, Love, Strength, Competition, Protection, Fire, Mars



Pink: Love, friendship, heal grief, emotions, peace, Venus



Green: Love, increase, health, life, nature, Earth, Venus



Lt. Blue: peace, tranquility, meditation, nerves, Water, Air, Moon



Dk. Blue: expansion, dignity, seas,honor, psychism, Water, Moon, Jupiter



Purple: Wisdom, honor, wealth, royalty, Air, Water Jupiter.



Brown: Houses, business, justice, protection, grounding, Earth, security,



stability, Saturn



Gray: Neutral, dissolve negativity, protection, concealment, Air,



Water, Moon



Black: absorb negativity, justice, protection, Earth, Saturn



Common Incenses and Oils



Frankincense: Spiritualizing, hallowing, raises ``vibrations'', consecration, good fortune, positivity, devotion, Light, Sun



Myrrh: Purification, exorcism, grounding, hallowing, Saturn



Sandalwood: Good fortune, hallowing, healing, wishes, Venus



Pine: Purification, healing, strength, good fortune, lust, protection, Mars



Bayberry: Good fortune, wealth, prosperity, good influences, Venus, Sun



Jasmine: Love, prosperity, meditation, psychism, Moon



Rose: Love, life, friendship, beauty, Venus



Lavender: healing, wisdom, psychism, sleep, Mercury



Cinnamon: wealth, hallowing, good influences, wealth, love, Sun, Mercury



Patchouli: wealth, grounding, protection, Earth



Strawberry: Love, joy, health, increase, good influences, Venus



Sage: wisdom, protection, wealth, Jupiter



Metals



Iron: strength, competition, protection, command, Mars



Tin: honor, wealth, wisdom, Jupiter



Aluminum: speed, communication, travel, intellect, Mercury



Brass: money, good influences, harmony, Sun, Venus



Copper: love, healing, increase, Venus



Silver: protection, wealth, psychism, love, Moon



Lead: business, houses, time, Saturn



Gold: hallowing, wealth, protection, healing, Sun



Common Stones



Quartz: Energy, focus, boost power



Rose quartz: love, emotional harmony, friendship



Amethyst: wisdom, calm, psychism, magickal power



Citrine: wealth, light, harmony



Tiger's Eye: protection, success, money



Moonstone: emotional balance, love, mysteries



Aventurine: nature, Earth, money, peace



Obsidian: grounding, protection, absorb negativity



Common Herbs



Basil: Protection, competition, money, love



Bay: protection, wishes, luck



Chamomile: healing, soothing, money



Cinnamon: good fortune, accellerant, money, love



Cloves: wisdom, protection, purification, wealth, honor



Coriander: gentle influences, friendship, love, lust



Dill: healing, love,



Garlic: strength, protection, exorcism



Ginger: strength, accellerant, fiery lust



Marjoram: protection, cleansing, calm

§±Blood... that of both sweet and devine... my soul is yours to take, my body of yours to make... take me as i am for i have been forsaken to you... take one drink and i will be enslaved to your heart and soul only to you and no one else...to make or recreate your fantasy and mine alike... love and romance all of the lusts to both is what i desire... it depends if you strive for the same... i bare myself of all material objects and give up my entierty to you... the only man whom can have me and only me... take over my spirit and enter my mind... seduce me into you as i am yours to have... i am a fallen angel and you are my savior... lift me from my own and make me anew for you are my lover, my only one, my other half... take me and reguvinate my aura as you devour that of which holds me to darkness and has equipt me with the veil of shame and regret... your fangs of redemption is needed to make me come into you... punture the skin to make it fuse with your fangs and suck the pain and sorrow away... draining all the blackness, the emptiness, and the lost spirit within... my heart seems to turn from black and cold to crimson and warmth... i am influenced by a sensation of arousal, yet of something so sensual... on my skin i feel the silky satain from that of the rough concrete i had felt before... a tear runs down my face not in pain but happiness... it's not shivering cold, but it is fire-blown warmth...