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All day my girlfriend has been acting distant and....happy,i suppose.Distant+Happy equals bad fucking news.Theres something I dont know...and then tonight i get this shit...



On 03:05:35 Apr 13 2010 (-0 GMT) reedmymindentermyheart wrote:



I don't need anyone checking up on me logan thanks for the visit though



On 03:12:35 Apr 13 2010 (-0 GMT) OrionPax wrote:



.....what?do i know you?





Nope but (your girlfriend) does. How was the comic book convention last year in late febuary



.....I have no idea who this fucking dude is.I saw him in the box earlier whining about his feelings or sumthin...idk.And i realize putting his name here might be rude.I dont give a fuck.He wants to use my name like he knows me and try to rattle me by knowin shit about me?Fuck him.

I DO NOT NEED THIS KINDA SHIT.Bijou wont tell me who it is....I got a reeeaallll bad feeling everything is about to come down around me.Not only do i feel alone i feel...like im outside looking in.If something bad happens and this is my last entry,I want all the people who have showed me kindness to know how much i appreciate them.I truly do.You guys mean a lot to me.You know who you are.I really really hope im wrong here...

COMMENTS

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MyArmyLife
06:06 Apr 13 2010

Don't let something like this get you that down.

It'll all work out. And if it seems horrible at the moment, it'll get better. It always does.

Might get worse first though. That's the way it normally works.... Unfortunately....

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toxicbite
07:39 Apr 13 2010

Hello OP,



All I can say here is.... is he an old friend of hers from school??? If so then you have nothing to worry about.



I don't think that a woman who can she that she has the best man on this planet is going to give that up. (She does not sound that stupid.)



If something is wrong she will tell you. Know that i am here if you need someone to talk to.



your friend,



toxic

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Sinora
09:58 Apr 13 2010

Odd that some people make a mystery out of something so ordinary. Ignore it.

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Denalee
06:21 Apr 19 2010

Dude....trust me...it will only crumble around you...dont let it hit you...if it does stand back up say no more and walk away. You deserve better than that~ And if you have a little girl...take care of her...love her...show her what a dad is, but dont let your girlfriend be what makes you crumble. I know it hurts like a son of a bitch but your strong. Believe in yourself and no matter what...your better than that.

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I dont think you guys REALLY get it.THE JOKE....why im always silly..goofin off..cheering u up.I NEED you to smile...ive forgotten how.I try to brighten all youre days..just so maybe,,JUST MAYBE...some of that light will fall on me and light MY way.Because u have no idea how dark it is here.Im just lashing out one punchline at a time...trying to get that preciousROTFLMAO!!!or even a lol..just to give me a little meaning.So laugh for me so i can hear something besides my own voice in my head.THATS the joke.GET IT??AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHahahahahahahaa.............ha

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Eleanna
11:15 Apr 10 2010

Just to let you know you have made me laugh LOTS of times, when ive been a bit down you have cheered me up with your "Man i like you, whats your name?" among other things!! :)

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samara5
12:15 Apr 10 2010

lol same here OP,you sure are alot like me :P

and you make me laugh all the time,or smile or whatever lol good job,and thanks alot :D

LOL you silly :P

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Sinora
18:18 Apr 10 2010

I got it.....ROFLMFAO.....kay ?

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irishvampire
08:32 Apr 11 2010

lmao I like it

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MyArmyLife
06:09 Apr 13 2010

Try finding someone who can actually talk to you about these things.

Living to make others laugh just to have some way to get away from it isn't healthy.

I know what it's like to fake the happy all the time. It's not fun.

It just makes you more depressed.

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Zilaheteb
12:11 Apr 21 2010

*sings*



I'll be there for you

When the rain starts to pour

I'll be there for you

Like I've been there before

I'll be there for you

'Cuz you're there for me too...



oooooohhhhh rainbows and unicorn robots.......



ahhhh *sings*

Y

M

C

A

*looks puzzled* Isn't that what I was singing????



*clap clap clap clap*

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Heres the thing ive learned about the internet my friends.Everythings bigger here.Every litte emotion and gesture is JACKED UP to compensate for the lack of physicality.Take romance...every heartfelt gesture is FREAKING HUGE...love is professed EXUBERANTLY and OFTEN...because really thats all youve got.Gestures and compliments and gifts are the currency of internet love.Because..after all..you cant hold hands or kiss...you have to keep that feeling going SOMEHOW.So the love is STRONGER...the feelings DEEPER...the "sex"...yaknow what...gonna leave that one alone;)...but in the end..theres NOTHING like the real thing.Deep down we all know it.

Now friendship...thats a little different..it too is BIGGER...when u have ur friends back uve got it TILL THE END OF TIME!!!!...but friendship has less physical..demands than love does.A friendship is often defined by simply talking and listening to another person..and actually CARING about what they say.Theres not as much need to overcompensate for the lack of physicality.I myself have made what I think are a few GOOD friends here...and i hope theyll remain friends for a long time. but one or two dont rilly talk to me much anymore..so who knows?The internet is a fickle beast.If iI can keep just ONE...ill be doing allright.

Finally...ANGER.OHHH THE GLORIOUS INTERNET ANGER!!!ohhhhh i know uve come across this my friends..lot of it here on vr.oh THAT might be the most amplified of them all..to NOT be able to reach out and STRANGLE SOMEONE????oh THAT will drive you crazy.ive learned to just stay clear of it...cuz in the end internet rage is IMPOTENT rage...theres really not a whole lot u can do to a username.not that would really matter,in the long run.

Now..im not saying the internets fake..im not judging...im CERTAINLY not doing that..im not condemning it...im just saying EVERYTHING.IS.BIGGER.HERE....and maybe acknowledging that wouldnt be a bad idea.Perspective,my friends.And i truly do mean my friends.:)

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samara5
12:11 Apr 10 2010

you are so smart :P lol

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toxicbite
15:18 Apr 10 2010

You sound like the vein in your neck is going to burst.... please sit down and have a cold glass of water...



from toxic

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MyArmyLife
06:10 Apr 13 2010

I never thought of it like that but I guess you're right.

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over my life ive noticed something.everytime ive met someone ive grown fond of,or lived in a place i truly loved,thier like the broken lines on the highway.in my life for a short time...i start to care about them,or the place....and then they fade away..move away...or simply lose interest.thier yellow line ends and im on to the next line.and eventually i just stop caring.OH i try to care...its in my nature...but mebbe caring isnt enuff.ive made no friends in this town...i feel i may be giving up.just hitting the damn brakes.i reach out to people all the time...trying to make that connection....but it always ends...really...this prolly iosnt the place to look for that kinda friend...idk.mebbe im a...sissy?idk...i dont THINK im needy,no more than the next one.but i YEARN for that kinda friendship.id really like to know..am i alone in feeling thid way?ami just deluded?if this is the real world...i find it shallow.i dream of that one person..or 2...numbers arent important..to just talk too everyday.ask me how i am.give me thier FULL attention as i give them thiers.i think i may feel to deeply...i truly love people.i want to help them when they hurt.i want that ONE YELLOW LINE that doesnt end.i fear sincerity has gone from the world...and its sad.i mean..not EVERYDAY yaknow...im not misguided that much..someone to drop me emails..call me every now and then for NO REASON than to talk to meI(well that was girly)but those people...they dont exist...in the days of texts and facebook and even here...its not about the quality...but the quantity.quantity doesnt matter to me.id trade a thousand aqquantances for even ONE tru friend.(i love my aqquantances...its a metaphor.mebbe its just my personality...i see others with those kinda friends...they pass me as im counting the lines.so if u have that place or person...treasure it my friends.all i want is that one solid line.I am by no means a weak person...like most ive had my share of troubles..some might surprise u.but i want that one friend that will always there.i mean REALLY there.that ONE place that i know in my heart is home.

COMMENTS

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Eleanna
18:31 Apr 03 2010

Aww hun *Big snuggles*

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samara5
10:03 Apr 04 2010

hush your not a sissy!:o

awww(hugs)maybe you do have a never ending yellow line,you just havnt noticed it yet,ive had many friends,and somehow never noticed it,cause im dumb like that lol

maybe some people are just to shy :)

i know how you feel OP,i do :P

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brokenbox
11:56 Apr 05 2010

hun, you are not alone & this doesn't make you a sissy it merely makes you human. well as human as a robot can get :) but i do want you to know that i will always be here for you, that i promise. regardless of anything.

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xXShadowDravenXx
10:49 Apr 09 2010

a lot of people are on the same quest, and its so hard to find that friend who will be there on the levels you need, its hard to find but don't give up the search

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MyArmyLife
06:15 Apr 13 2010

Everyone wants that one true friend and everyone wants to be surrounded by people, no matter how much they might say otherwise.

Humans are animals. Plain and simple. And, like most social species, we need each other.

We want to love, hope, play, dance, sing, talk, whatever, and we want to do it with a bunch of people we can trust and hang out with.

Wanting to be with people and help them isn't a bad thing. It's part of the reason I became a medic.

I hate the human race but I can't help but want to love them and help them at the same time because I'm one of them.

And FYI, kindness doesn't necessarily equal weakness. I don't think you're a sissy.

You're human.

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