The bedside home…is waiting for my turn.03:48 Aug 23 2007
Times Read: 870
Even in my earliest memories,
Lays a chair waiting ‘til the end of time.
I sit down in it time and time again,
As a loved spirit slowly slips away.
Bitter blankness in my heart and pale face
Matched only by the sorrow in my eyes,
I remember how many times it’s been
And the numbness that creeps into my soul.
Abandoned by beloved souls to watch
A careful stillness creep into the room;
No one wishing to guard a dying one
From the fear and pain caused by their frail health.
So I sit alone in this little place
Waiting patiently as it stalks the room.
An innocent child sits this chair with ease
Understanding very little of time;
Watching wide-eyed through the grief and the pain
Thinking they wait on the showers of May.
Shivering enviously in this place
Wishing for white coats and smoke breaks, he sighs.
Over a month gone by and here sleeps Ken
The endless stillness has taken its toll.
The window covering opens a notch
Letting in a touch of the outside gloom.
Listens to Mozart and sways when alone,
Too young to portray such decorous wealth.
Open curiosity on his face
Yet sterility forms an inside gloom.
A man says, “I’d like to talk to you, please.”
“Was ist es,” he says. “You speak German?” Nien…
His wary eyes watch both him and the rain.
The serene stranger smiles in such a young way.
His slate-gray eyes and his enchanting grace,
Not the white coat, a moment in time buys.
Carefully, he states he could come back when
His parents are present to fill their role.
Irritated, his chin raises a notch!
In his mind, those words should have sealed his doom.
No one comes even after he is gone.
There is rarely a need for cautious stealth.
Around parents and doctors, there’s no trace…
That he has ever visited the room.
Though people might think it a vicious tease,
I won’t recount over debates in this rhyme.
He came to me often to ease my pain
Of boredom or confusion, night or day,
Explaining every purpose of this place.
He revealed a new world to my blue eyes.
The one who taught me to take up a pen
So I’d remember the cries of my soul;
Keeping time by means other than a watch
In any bland, sterile hospital room.
Je reve de vous for which I must atone.
Ame gardien du ma coeur and of my health,
I dearly long to see thy perfect face!
No mortal compares. You have sealed my doom.
Despite the informative memories
And enlightenment, feelings dulled with time.
Yes, my brother woke but came back again
And again. We could rarely be away.
I see the world as through a veil of lace,
With a voice in my ear that is so wise;
I felt an ancient before I was ten.
I am drawn to fulfill my given role
Fearing daily it is one I’ll botch,
But it is essential to ease my gloom.
When my time among mortal men is done,
I’ll be very rich in spiritual wealth
For I follow in my guardian’s grace!
It’s almost enough to banish the gloom…
Innumerable bedside memories
Of aged, great-somethings lost to me with time.
Washed clean like endless dust after a rain;
Pictures are clear, but feelings go away.
A multitude of ties too hard to trace…
At twelve I sought despondency and sighs,
The ever elusive what-might-have-been,
The damaged of mind, and the morbid soul.
Carefully! This isn’t a thing to botch!
I sought frantic seekers of their own doom!
I’d bond myself to this unlikely one.
Creeping among their world with all my stealth
And bringing to them my own special place,
Worlds of written creatures to banish doom.
Fickle furies and fates are such a tease!
Compiling death to a small space of time,
Like a set of three to compound the pain.
Beloved friend who first parted the way
With a soul as angelic as her face.
Trusting, loving…It caused her death, yet wise.
All of us who knew can remember when
Her innocent love took a deadly toll.
It was nearly a month, we had to watch
As a hundred youths visited her room.
Gehirn Tod. Zug der Stopsel. She is gone;
With her life went several boys’ mental health.
Two funerals, ashes, split resting place,
And eternal guilt to those in the room.
When duty claimed I should be on my knees
I dropped everything to race against time.
I see smiles and her voice in the rain.
Her dancing delight; new friends every day.
Constant wonder, sheer love on a young face
I saw, wondering where her passion lies.
It might have been a sin to go just then,
But I had heard the funeral bells toll…
For in truth, we could only wait and watch.
But if it was, I’ll gladly accept doom
Over leaving my friends to sit alone.
Church doesn’t monopolize holy wealth;
It can be found in any time or place
Not simply contained to one tiny room!
Following quickly on the heels of these,
Was the knowledge of my grandfather’s time
Suddenly becoming our greatest bane.
No more could I help him go out to hay
Or tending the animals of the place.
No more basking in the love my work buys.
I’ve been told avoiding church is a sin;
Yet I have no doubt of where his soul
Should be. For where he went, angels kept watch.
With his wife’s first stroke came a cloying gloom
And we both knew his time was almost done.
It coincided with his fading health,
And was written by knowledge in his face.
As the fates decreed, her death sealed his doom!
Then came the loss of my best memories
And love that came without spending a dime.
Even in strife her spirit would not wane.
A woman beautiful in every way,
Her soul still shines down on me with her grace.
Her heart weaved close the greatest of ties.
And in all my days there has never been
Another who could have fulfilled her role.
Indian mother hen closely kept watch!
I miss her voice that could light up a room;
In the end I still can’t think of her gone.
Death crept in her room using his most stealth
Wiping exuberant joy from her face,
And leaving sweet bitterness in her room.
No death can stand out as clearly as these
Three who caused a writer to jot a rhyme.
Then, multiple scoliosis again
Has me in ICU during the day.
Looking for her family, there’s no trace…
Glance over the bare seats toxic shock buys.
Only three can bear to sit by her when
Bruises, blood and a coma take their toll.
One of the family’s medical botch
Has brought about this blemished starlet’s doom.
It becomes a blessing when she is gone.
There was no way to reverse loss of health.
Too young to miss her perfect, model’s face;
Too soon, her smiles no longer light the gloom!
J.K.
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