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Livid, enraged, vexed. None of these words can accurately describe how fucking pissed off I am.

It all began when I arrived at work, and my ex was there hanging out with a mutual friend of ours. I began to shake and my heart pounded, it was the first time I've seen him since we broke up. I didn't understand why this was happening. I thought I was over it. So he left and I calmed down.

Then while working in my haunted house room, he shows up with 3 girls attached to him..........

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!

He knew I would seen him like that. How could he fuck with me like that?! Asshole.

So after I scared them and they departed, I started to cry. Again, why the hell was I crying? Why did it hurt so bad to him with those other girls? It tore me apart.

And now, Im just pissed as fuck



I will have my revenge.

It's been almost a month and still this emptiness remains. I still think about him all the time, wonder what he's doing or who he's with. If he's laughing and if he's down. If he misses me or if I cross his mind for even a split second. I know he no longer loves me, and I don't love him, but I still care so very much. I miss him, I miss us, what we had, all those nights we shared.

So I've been trying to move on. And I have another interest, but I don't like playing these games. And it seems pointless because he's leaving soon. Besides he's too rough, which brings me back to my first problem. He was the only one I've known that had such a gentle touch. So delicate. Ugh, it's not fair. This is going to sound extremely terrible but I see these plain women of average intelligence with these great looking guys and it makes me so crazy! What am I doing wrong?! I give my soul to my lover, Im kind and generous, intelligent, and a pretty good looker if I may be so bold.

So frustrating.

COMMENTS

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NightBlossom
05:04 Oct 09 2008

Life sucks when it comes to issues of the heart. Maybe he wasn't the one for you in the long run. I used to wonder the same things until I found my husband. There is someone out there for you. There is someone who can make you feel like a million bucks with just a look. There is someone, just stop looking. You'll find someone out there. It just takes time.

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birra
16:48 Oct 09 2008

Yet, there are a lot of guys out there who would agree with you and appreciate a lover would is kind, generous, intelligent and good looking.



Don't let yourself settle for less than what you want for fear of being lonely or alone...

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I just found out my boss can't afford to keep me anymore. This is terribly crushing for me, because I loved my job, dearly. I loved all the horses and I will miss them. And Im all fucked up from the flu. And I found a huge dead cat in my yard today, which apparently my own dogs mauled to death. Today sucks.

Today is the orientation for Scare at the Fair, so anyone in the Western NY better go, we open Oct 2 6:30pm to 10pm thursday, friday, and monday. And 6:30 to 11 or 12 (varies) saturday and sunday. We've teemed up with DarkRaven manor so we have six housed including a rated R house! Yay!!!

COMMENTS

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GypsyOfTheGreen
14:59 Oct 01 2008

I shall have to check that out, what fair ground ? erie county ?

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birra
04:19 Oct 02 2008

Yep... Erie County Fairgrounds... I will definitely have to check it out.

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The night after the rave I went to a show, by myself cause no one else could go, but it actually turned out to be a lot of fun. I talked to lots of new people, made some friends. Watched drunk people fall. Then I went to steve's snd watched this crazy ass movie, life aquatic, with matt. It was interesting, I thought it was funny, but I'm easily amused haha. And the evening got better from there haha. Im such a giddy school girl, just cause I kissed matt. Teehee ^^. But he gave me a fat lip, he's vicious haha. I went home at 6:30am. It was crazy, I saw a baby skunk. Yup, good day. :D