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Dear Mom

How have you been?

I wish you was

still here here so

I could see you again



To be able to

tell you how I feel inside

cause you made feel like

I was on the outside



I wanted you to see

me for being me

but unfortunately now

that can never be



I miss being able yo

talk to you on the phone

sometimes when I think of you

I feel alone



I wish I could of said the

things I wanted to

maybe if I did

I'd know more about you



I still think of the night

I got the call

I hated every word

that was said

I hated it all



Now I'm just confused

cause at first you left

because of me

and then in the end

you wanted to stay

cause of me

why'd you leave

to begin with?



Because of that

I loved you

and hated you

I loved you cause

you was always there for me

and I hated you cause

you were never there for me

COMMENTS

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darkangel82
09:54 Aug 22 2009

That's really good. You showed both sides of where you were coming from.

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Kataryia
16:26 Nov 09 2017

... read and ..felt pain ..

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POST COMMENT

I woke up today

to find out I was

lost inside a dream

nothing's what it seems

I'm trapped in this

memory

of all my past mistakes

the pressures more than

I can take

my mental sanity's about

to break



And when I sleep at night

pain is all I feel

present day no longer

feels real

it's almost like reality

stands still



I hate the way

I feel inside

knowing there's no place

I can hide

life almost seems like a

tragedy

especially when you know

you'll never have a

legacy



I woke up to a

dream today

in which the pain

never fades

and even though

I know

reality never

stands still

this life I'm in

seems to unreal

COMMENTS

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Kataryia
16:27 Nov 09 2017

... read ..

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POST COMMENT

If you took a walk

outside your mind,

what do you think you'll learn?

what do you think you'll find?



If you saw the sands of time

fall before you,

would you take the time

to listen to an ancient chime?



If you entire life

could be foretold,

would it leave your

inner soul feeling cold?



If you could see your past

in a different view,

and change everything you've been through,

would you keep everything you knew?



If you had the chance

to rewrite time,

would you delete

every single crime



Or do you think when it

come to peace, it's too late

and that war is this world's

only trait?



Does your soul feel like a prisoner

in a temporary shell,

that this world's just a waiting room

between heaven and hell?



Would you take the time

to spare a dime

if it meant

you could help someone

make it through their day?



If you had the chance to bend time and space

and meet God face to face,

would you call it fate

or just a playground of illusions

seen through cemetary gates?

Was brought out here today cause for their sins I'll die this very day.

It's hard to believe this world we live in,

when everyone one here lives in sin.

I feel as if when it comes to peace

no one cares and for every minute

that goes by another war is declared.

Now hanging from a cross of nails,

due to their sins I've been dying since the day I was born.

My blood now flows from split veins,

most of my life has been drained,

only being stabilized by wooden nails,

I can feel my spirit leaving this empty shell.

Now as I hang from this cross of thorns,

I'll sacrifice myself to show the world that faith can be reborn.

Forgive them father for they know not what they do,

Forgive them father for the only one I beleive in is you.

As I'm looking down the cross,

I'll hear no evil,

see no evil,

nor speak no evil.

Forgive them father for they have sinned

I'm on a rampage

with no knowledge to spare,

I'll bite through human hands

with out a care



I'll bite down flesh

and chew on bones,

I'll make sure you're

sleeping all alone



I'll beat you down in your sleep

with spiked baseball bats & sledge hammers,

I'll leave you chained up in the slammer



I'm a homicidal squirrel

with a killing streak,

I fel like a stoned hamster

that's been up for a week



Before daybreak

you'll be an early snack,

You just better be sure

you watch your back



I'll eat you in your sleep,

I'll eat you raw,

cause when it comes to me

there is no law



I'm a homicidal squirrel

on a killing streak,

I feel like a stoned hamster

that's been up for a week

I'll have you for breakfast

lunch and dinner

Hey, who said my meals don't last



I can't wait until

you go to sleep,

This way I can

sink my teeth in deep

COMMENTS

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Kataryia
16:31 Nov 09 2017

... read ..Imaginative ..and funny ..

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POST COMMENT

Trying to stay awake

even though it's kind of

hard to do when

your mind's half baked.



The light at the end of

my tunnel looks a little dim,

I think my insanity's about to win,

I need about three to ten drinks

just to feel sane again.



I need somewhere to go

to clear my head

or maybe just to smoke

a blunt to it's head.

maybe just a few hits

so I can see the color red,

stay in one spot til it's dead

and not pay attention to

a word that's said.



Sit back, have a beer or thirty,

hey leave me alone

I was just a little thirsty.



I need a new hobby

this sobriety thing's not working out,

too much self doubt.



I just need somewhere to go

to work on my aim,

so I can sit back

with a bottle of southern comfort

and enjoy seeing someone else in pain,

just kidding. I'm just bored

I wanted to write something

that's meaningful but the more I try,

the less I can think of what to say.



I try to pick up the pieces

of my life every day,

hoping that one day

I'll find someone who

actually wants me to stay.





I know to some people

this may seem like some

childish dream,

but when you have no one

your life can seem like

it's falling apart at the seams.



If you had the chance to make a change

without having to rearrange a single thing,

wouldn't you want to do something new.

I mean who cares what some people

thought they knew,

wouldn't you want to be

able to start your life over brand new,

just for you.

this probably won't make much sense to anyone,

all I want is just an opinion from someone

or at least hear someone say

that I'm not the only person

that feels this way.

Dear self



I'm not everything I hoped I'd be,

nor am I anything I'd like to see

but I'm doing the best I can

to see past my inner misery.



I know there's some apologies

that are long over due,

it's just that sometimes

I can't bring myself to face you.



It was wrong of me

to try to push you aside,

considering all the pain

and hate you took in stride,



I don't blame you

for wishing I had died.

I put you through hell

and back at the roll of the dice,

so I can understand why

nothing I say will suffice.



I know what I did was wrong

and I won't pretend,

I just wish we could make a mends.

So in the end

if you never speak to me again

I'll understand,

cause after everything's said and done

I'm the only reason that I've been damned.

Alone, lost and confused,

hated loathed and abused.

Left behind, out-casted,

consumed by fears,

kicked out, forgotten,

left with only tears.



Thrown away, unwanted,

was just pushed aside.

Battered and freezing

with nowhere to hide.



Pain, hate and agony,

what's else is there to feel?

Tortured by not knowing

what's false or real.



Deceived, betrayed,

permanently shut out.

Left too far back

to not have any self-doubt.



Not welcomed, unwanted,

no one sees the pain.

No one care, only stared,

just to walk away.



Greed, misery and death,

will equal someone's last breath.

Pain, hate and agony,

what else is there to feel?

Tortured by not knowing

what's false or real.

Loathed, hated and feared,

this soul slowly died.

Was unnoticed to the

point that no one cared

What am I suppose to do,

everything in my life seems

like it's starting to fall through.



It feels like no matter where I go,

I don't belong,

like I did something wrong.



I feel like the worst father,

and keep asking myself,

why should anyone even bother?



At times I feel like a

waste of everyone's time,

like everyone would be

better off if I was doing time.



Life seems to complicated,

stress is over rated,

why can't the pain and sorrow's

that's in my head just go away?



Should I just sit here and pray?

I have someone in my life that

I would love to spend the

rest of my days with

but I'm not saying who cause

I'd rather see who curses me out

for getting the wrong clue.



I just want to know,

am I worth the time?

or should my life be considered

a waste of crime?

Am I even worth it?

or should I be considered

lower then shit?

What am I supposed to do?

can someone please give me a clue?

Look at me, I'm tired of your games,

why must you always look at me

in a sense of shame?



What is it that you're afraid to say?

Do you want me to walk away?

It's almost like everything you say ends like a lie,

the only thing I want to know is why?



All I wanted was respect,

I guess you didn't get that aspect,

your every answer was delayed,

leaving me feel betrayed.



Come on and admit it,

you just wanted to split,

you didn't care in any way,

you just walked away.



You used me like an escape goat

so you could turn around and gloat,

you used me when you saw fit

and that's only the half of it.



I once thought you was kind,

but come to find that you

faked your cries and only lied.



All I wanted was respect,

but I guess you didn't get that aspect,

your every answer was delayed,

leaving me feel betrayed.

I once thought that

we could get along,

but I guess in that respect,

I was wrong.

My world's starting to cave in,

my inner thoughts begin like sins

cause it feels as if there's no one

left to let me in.



The people I once knew

didn't stick around,

they left without a sound

and in the end everyone was gone.



I wish that things was

the way it use to be.

Sometimes I feel as if yesterday

was better then today

cause at least at that point in my life

my mind didn't feel like a lost and lonely

stray that ran away.



My past's my life and my future's my

death, the only question left is,

when am I going to take

my last breath?



I've done things that I regret

and some of those things I'll never forget.

It's like I'm living under one roof

through six different lives

and that the pain I'm feeling feels like

multiple knives being drove into my head.



When I try to speak about it

my sanity pauses, so there's nothing said.

Why can't today be like yesterday?

Why can't my life be the way I wanted it to be?



Instead I feel like I'm living in pure misery.

My inner sanity feels like it's been

touched by the hand of death,

When will I take my last breath?

If I died tomorrow would anyone feel sorrow?



Sometimes I feel too alone, it's almost like I was never known.



Another day passes by, in to much pain to even cry.



I miss the way it use to be when I actually felt free.



If I were to actually die , would anyone cry?



would anyone even say goodbye?

It's has come to be for all to see that for me,

I'm nothing more then a shadow of my former self.



This is not said in vein or out of some unknown silent pain,

of not knowing what's wrong with my inner self.



I'd search for answers inside of dreams.

But as of right now,

it seems that I'm not permitted to redeam my inner dreams.



Silent nights come and pass,

like a cold nights rain it never lasts.

I often wonder why I'm here.



For each year that passes I just want to cry,

why is it that with each day that passes,

time seems to speed up in pace never choosing a single place?

It doesn't even matter of the age or race.



It's starting to seem like time's a moving wall,

that never crawls,

It's enough to make ones sanity want to take a walk.



Out line it's life in a layer of chalk,

then tempt fate due to what the inner insanity can create.



But question remains the same not just some foolish game,

How can we fear yesterday or today,

if we don't even know why we're here? Why are we here?

COMMENTS

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TaintedPoison
04:23 Feb 06 2009

let me know if u find out

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darkangel82
09:57 Aug 22 2009

I like this one...and there are reasons why you're here. Maybe you haven't found them yet, or maybe they are right there staring you in the face. Either way, there is a reason.

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