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My day started out just fine

my body's surrounded by a

a line of chalk and my heart

took a walk



With two slit wrists

a gun clinched in a fist

even though the blood's

not mine

I still feel as if I stepped

on a land mine



Cause the knife in my hand

wasn't planned

but the dead body outside

my door

was on cash demand



I ripped his teeth one by one

cracked his skull open with

an empty gun

broke his legs just for fun

I carved his out before

I was done



Left his body by the front steps

that decision I never got to regret

I'd tell you the raeeson

if I didn't forget it



Went inside to lay down

hoping the pain wasn't real

if this day would of had

gotten any worse it would

of been to unreal



So I laid there in bed

not knowing how much

I blead

motionless in pain

I felt my entire life drain



To think last night I went it bed

with a forty-four and three bullets

this morning I woke up with one

and needed a drink



Now I lie in a pail of blood

mental-stress rushes back

in a flood

I could of walked away

but I chose to stay

There's nothing left to say

COMMENTS

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darkangel82
07:58 Aug 22 2009

I like this one, it's deep and dark.

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Sitting here licking my lips

ooh look, it's a colt forty-five

three to six bullets later

and I'll truely be alive



No need to reach for the phone

today I'll be all alone

just me and myself, get it

oh yea, I almost forgot

about my yummy pellets



My owner's away for the day

I don't need a silencer

in any way

I just hope my fur

doesn't burn

as the last page of my

story burns



I tried using just my claws

but not enough blood would fall

I'd sink my teeth in deep

if I didn't need sleep



Staring out of my glass tank

makes me wish I was

staring down the barrel of a tank

saying pull the trigger



My pellets are too stale

my water's too warm

just pass me a cup of ale

or stick me in a deadly swarm



Ok, who just bit my tail?

Can't you read?

I'm not for sale

so go screw your good

deeds



Do you truely want to know me?

ok, here goes

my best friend was a friendly

homicidal squirrel

and my cousin was a stoned hampster

that stayed up for weeks

me, I'm just a suicidal gerbil

that can't sleep

COMMENTS

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darkangel82
08:00 Aug 22 2009

That was great

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Duneshifter
19:34 Mar 24 2011

Interesting...

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Looking over this scene

like an owl

it's not easy to clean

some things with a

paper towl



My living room

looks like a make shift

tomb

two bodies on the floor

and the kitchen

three more



Not trying to remotely gloat

the first one

I slit his throat

the rest of them

I used a gun



It's not like I wanted

this

and that I get a feeling

of bliss



Cause all of this

came with a cost

my family is

what I lost



If I could just

erase this day

it wouldn't matter

what I'd have to

pay



To have my son

back in my life

instead of standing

here with this

bloody knife



Instead I stand here

with tears in my eyes

wondering why

I was left to live in

this Hell

COMMENTS

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darkangel82
08:01 Aug 22 2009

Very well written hun

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Faith is a word

thar gets turned around,

turned right side up

and flipped upside down



It's a word

that no one speaks

yet everyone does

it's a word

that makes you strong

yet makes you weak



It's spoken every day

yet it's not

it's emotiona;;y painless

but yet it still hurts a lot



It can be given

as free advice

but it can also

come with a price



It's a word we for

some reason have to beleive in

even though we have no clue

where to begain



It's a word

I can live without

no longer need the misery

and if there's a god

all that's left for me

to ask is

Why did you create me?

Why was I born

COMMENTS

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darkangel82
08:07 Aug 22 2009

You were born for a reason, whether or not you've figured it out is one thing...but I think one reason was due to your son...without you where would he be? Plus you were brought here to make someone happy who makes you happy...you just have to let it happen.

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Duneshifter
19:50 Mar 24 2011

Staying the course of a pattern of any kind of hope or faith is never enduring. At the end of each day if you find yourself here. Then let it be said. You are simply here. Not always do you need a reason to exist. Sometimes it may be there when everything else means naught.

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Dear mother or father

I'm tired of the pain

you put me through



I'm tired of looking

for answers and

hearing nothing new



You said you loved me

I guess that was a lie

with everything you did

it's like a part of me died



I want to hear

what you have to say

instead of having to sit

in the dark and pray



I wanted a better

relationship for us

unfortunately you're

one person I can't trust



Our mild conflicts

turned to hate

did you truly want

this fate?



When it comes to family

I feel like I'm alone

longing for a

peace that's never known



What do you want me to see?

What do you want me to be?

What is it you want from me?

Do you like seeing me in pure misery?

To walk the streets alone

to have never been known

the answers once seeked

are now never known



To walk outside in search

of knowledge

while on the inside

inner thoughts can't

acknowledge



That in past tense thought

which in pain it brought

can some how get lost

at too high of cost



where puzzles turn

to mazes

paranoia form in

phases



Insanity's takes a

whole new turn

while the page's

of history burn



As society's fate

evolves through hate

shown in skits of pain

through words said

in vein



Said from voices

of those who

disappeared

in a grayish mist

that long ago

appeared



That left a disconnected

mystery of a forgotten time

which was left for generations

to interupt and define

I feel blessed

in every way

my son's the best

part of of my day



I love to watch him

sit and play

just to see him smile

brightens my day



And to see him jump

up and down

and try to watch

everything upside down



Is definitely a sight

that I won't soon forget

and tickling his feet

while he sleeps I will

never regret



To see him smile

if it's just for a while

I can honestly say

is the greatest way

to spend my day



He's a smart ass

through and through

everyday with him

is something new



To hear him say

hey you

or just to hear him say

I love you



Brightens my day

in every way

I really enjoy

everyday



He's the greatest

gift I've ever received

sometimes it's hard to believe

that I ever deserved such

a beautiful gift

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PierdutxxAngelus
18:42 Aug 01 2017

1 of my all time favs

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You've chosen a path

to a life that only ends

in wrath

where the fears you once knew

can't be bottled up inside of you



Even though life can seem like

a dream

the thoughts you have can never

be what they seem



This pathway to eternity

can seem like forever

even the thoughts it provokes

is never seen



Terminal pressure

starts to sink in

if paranoia dementia

surfaces no one wins



Cause when sanity's lost

it's never found

hidden from the world

with no trace of sound



This pathway to eternity

is here to stay

though you was truly loved

your life will still fade away



So take a look at these last sights

and their contradicting rights

cause the light at the end

is no longer just pretend

I had this dream that everyone

walked away with nothing to say

and at the end of the day

I was left with no one



No one around to make a sound

just me and myself with nothing

to see, nothing to make a sound

not even insects on the ground



The streets now emptied

buildings abandon

the world I once knew

left in a silence of sin



Skies are a darkened gray

the seas now run red

ashes lay in the playgrounds

where children use to play



Trying to figure out

how I lived

feeling too much pain

to even shout



Looking at a town I once knew

not knowing how to feel, not a clue

who knew that nightmares

could come true



I guess the only thing left to say

is come whatever may

make sure that spend your last days

living life your own way



Cause in the end you can't pretend

that when your world ends

you were the only one living without sin

there's always time to make a mends



So start living and not pretending

that when it comes to your

ending that nothing can be forgiven

My life's chosen another

path to create

almost like an act of fate

which in every turn I take

ends up being a mistake

I'd confide in a friend

until the end if it meant

I didn't have to pretend

that what I saw

if anything at all

wasn't just another sin

and as my day begins

I'll say this prayer again

I'll live my life my way

it doesn't matter

what others say

cause it's my life

it's my right to stay

I've spent years

walking down an endless road

just to find that my life

has already been foretold



I sometimes try to

sum sum my life up in a song

but every time I try

it comes out wrong



And ad I try to deal with

the voices in my head

I end up cursing my life

instead



Life seems strange

in a lot of ways

especially when

I don't know what to

make of today



Sometimes I feel as if

no one understands

and other times I don't know

where in life I actually stand



At times I wish life was

the way it use to be

other times I'm just happy

knowing except me

for being me



At times it's hard for me

to express how I feel

there's even been times

when I didn't even know

which emotions were

even real



Life can sometimes feel strange

almost like an eerie dream

it sometimes makes me

want to scream



If someone were to actually hear

the voices in my head

they'd be the ones asking

for help instead

When I think of you

all I want to do

is lay by your side

and not care about what

goes on outside



To hold you in my arms

maybe shoot the alarm

so I could hold you

close to my heart

and know we'll never

be apart



To sit and talk

or maybe take a walk

to look into your eyes

and see a beautiful

surprise



Cause when I'm with you

it feels like a dream

come true

my life no longer feels

as if it's fallen apart

at the seams



You make me feel

whole inside

and you give me

a new sense of pride



When I'm with you

everything feels new

I can honestly say

you're the best part

of my day



As I say this to you

you are my dream

come true

if I could have

one last wish

it would be

to spend the rest

of my days with you

I love you

Do you know how it feels

when you look into

a mirror

and just want to kill?



Or when you look around

and no one makes a sound?



And when you wake up in bed

you wish all the problems

would leave your head



What does it mean

when your thoghts aren't clear

and you just don't want to

be here?



How do you feel when you can't

stand life

and none of your friend

understand?



Why is it when you can't

stand life

you feel that you need

a knife



Do you sit

and wonder why

or do you

just sit and cry?



What does it mean

when your thoughts

aren't clear

and you wish

you wasn't here?



Do you really know

how it feels

when nothing's clear

and you just want

to end it all

right here?

I couldn't stand staying

in one place

at times think my life's

just a disgrace



Could never express

how I feel

I can no longer tell

what's even real



At times I feel like I'm

too screwed in the head

is it true what people

have said?



In a lot of ways

things should have

been different

God I hope tomorrow's

a better day



I'll admit I've got some problems

that won't go away

that's probably why no one

wants to stay



You was there for me

from the start

I always knew you had

a gentle heart



My only wish is

to have a friend like you

this is one dream

I hope comes true



I wrote this for you

cause this is the only

way I know how to

say thank you

for everything you've done

Thank you for being there

Mounted as a trophy

almost like a prophecy



I feel like an ant, I feel like a slave

who cares what you gave

You're only worth a grand



Listen closely, you ain't worth shit

you almost remind me of cousin it



Your suicidal gerbil will escape you

he'll run away like melting glue



He'll moo at you times two

he'll even turn around and

sue you too



You know his bark

Yea, he'll eat you like a cat

cause he knows where you

sleep at



An automatic electric chair

awaits for you

it will slowly fry you through

and through



He's a stoned hamster

locked in a cage

he can't sleep

he has too much rage

Seeing glimpses of shadows

that walk through walls

when no hears your call

does your walking pace

slow to a crawl?



Does it make your mind want to cave?

Is it what your inner fears crave?

Do you find yourself feeling like a slave?

that there's nothing left to save



Do you find yourself looking at shattered glass?

while everything's forming in a collective mass?

Does it look like something from your past?

Do you think this nightmare will always last?



Living on throught the night

can it be this is your last sight?

When a cold breeze kills the light

Will you make it through the night?



After the lights dims

if you live you win

running from fear isn't a sin

espeacially when you see

something grin



Is something planning your fate?

Is it truely too late?

Does it feel like you're in front of the gates

raidiating an energy of hate?



Do you see imagies of people dying?

Do you sometimes hear something sighing?

Do you see pictures of sanity crying?

Do you think your inner mind is lying?



Living on through the night

can it be this is your last sight?

When a cold breeze kills the light

will you make it through the night?

COMMENTS

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darkangel82
10:00 Aug 22 2009

This one seems more like a song, but I really like it. If you break it up a lil more and throw the chorus piece in you could definitely have a song there.

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This letter started

as a simple prayer,

a wish that would make

my life seem somewhat fair



I'm not trying to

make it sound like

I want to moan

or complain



I just want to

find a way to

delete all of my

inner pain



There's no guaranty

that I'll ever be

able to look at life

the same



I'm only looking

for something better,

something to erase

this emotional shame



Cause with all that

was said and done

it's like I was forgotten



My inner voices makes

me feel like an outcast,

how long will this

mental stress last?



All I wanted was

a place to call my own,

someone to care about

so I wouldn't feel alone



But now it feels

like I was forgotten



Cause I can't find

anyone, anywhere

who even remotely

wants to care

COMMENTS

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Kataryia
16:21 Nov 09 2017

... read ..

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