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Not much to even say or do...other than being off my medication royally sucks at this point. Why to they make these kinds of medications? I hate being off of them. I feel everything again...and when I mean everything...I mean EVERYTHING. The emotions or what ever they were had been suppressed for so long. I get more irritated quicker now and my anger is back to where it was before I got on the meds. This terrifies me in the end. The only thing that seems to help is books right now and music. Though, my mind has been chaotic for the past couple of days and my husband knows this transition is hard on me as well. I'm off of them and not by choice. I have to see my specialist for them and it costs 1800 altogether to pay the bill off. They want 500 and we don't have that. My husband wants me back on them, due to how calm I tend to be when I'm on them. I'm trying here...trying to keep up with my outlets...It's a struggle for sure...I just don't know what to do at this point...

Also...for those who keep messaging me and thinking I will respond...Read my goddamn profile....TAKEN...MARRIED...For fucksake! Just leave me alone already! I'm not on enough as it is! I rather read a book rather talk to some of you creeps who keep coming in my inbox. Just fuck off already and get fucking rekt! This Neko has claws and I won't hesitate to use them either!

So..this happened yesterday...

Just got off the phone with my son's step mom and she had the audacity to ask

"This isn't gonna be another Facebook post is it,"

We asked to see my son for his birthday and apparently that may not happen and she goes,

"You haven't seen him since August of last year, so he's not gonna know who you are."

That right there hurts like hell. She doesn't realize I've been working a lot those past couple of months and she's

"on the fence"

With us wanting to see him last minute and everything. I'm just over this...


This literally lead to a depressive episode and what not. How are you going to say that to a parent? I literally had gotten busy those past couple of months with work. Especially, with switching to a new job. People kept quitting on us or getting fired. I ended up working 6 to 7 days a week. Once in a blue moon, I'd have a day off as well. Today is my son's 6th birthday and his dad and step-mom are working. I get it, if they have plans and what not and that she is on the fence about letting me see him. What killed me the most was her comment about him not knowing who I am. Seriously? I kept busy with work and what not. What enraged me was the thing about a facebook post. He's my son. I have every right to take photos of him and what not. Ugh. She just wants to try and control everything. What's ever worse, is the fact that his father, won't even take responsibility and talk to me, instead he sends her. Like seriously? Man up and take responsibility. This is supposed to between me and him, not me, him and her. I just comes to show, that he is apparently too busy to communicate with me and has to have his little wife talk to me instead of him. This is one of the other reasons why I don't even like his dad. The lack of communication I get from him and the fact that my son is having another Surgery and I just found this out yesterday as well! I get told absolutely nothing when it regards my son. Ugh.