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One other note about last night’s events....this time turning the mirror on myself.



As the new year approaches it is time to "put my money where my mouth is" or something like that. I listened to these women last night talk about how their hours at work are being cut and having to try and find the money to do stuff for their kids / family all the while finding money and time to get to the gym.



I have nothing......nothing to complain about. This is going to be my vow offered to the Gods this Samhain. Enough - I will do today what could be done tomorrow and where there is fault I will correct it. I will no longer take that has been given to me for granted for I am luckier than most. It is time to give back and pay for that good fortune…..

So the dinner party last night was ...... shall we say interesting.



I was looking foward to meeting some new people but the way that the hostess set up the table had me next to some old friends. No big deal......



Well during the meal I could sense some tension between the couple but shrugged it off as everyday marital bliss.



Boy was I wrong.



After dinner we retired to the study for drinks……. (and yes I know that this sounds like an episode of Clue) when we realized that they had left. The hostess informed me that he had driven his wife home so that he could CALL HIS GIRLFRIEND....



OK - I have known these people for ages and honestly this infidelity did not come as a surprise to me. What did shock me was how brazen and open he was about this. Of course upon his return the conversation was all on him.



When he asked for my advice I told him that he had to inform me of the whole story. I expected reluctance even shame .... but no. He proceeded to publicly inform us all of the situation. When he finished his story I was quite clear on what I would expect him to do. I should note here that he did offer to go to counseling but his wife refused. This portion of the story was backed up by several people and I even remember being told this some time ago.



My direction was simple. Before he perused his desires with this other (significantly younger woman) any further he was to immediacy file for separation. I explained to him what he stood to lose (which is a lot) and what little he would gain. In the middle of this conversation his phone rang.....it was the girlfriend. I looked at him and he handed the phone over to me.



I asked the young woman for her age .... verifying that she was indeed only 21. It appears that she was a bit upset because she had received a phone call from his wife. I asked her why this shocked her and she explained that he had told her that they were separated. I informed her that this was not correct and that I had just attended a dinner party with her that very night. I explained who I was and that if she was to continue to peruse this relationship that she should know what she was getting into. He has cheated in the past.....he is cheating now and she will be no different. He will cheat on her in the future. She thanked me for my candor and I handed the phone back to him.



When he got off the phone I expressed my disappointment ...... my STRONG disappointment. By this time it was almost 2 am so I advised my hostess that I would be leaving. The remaining members of the party agreed and we all left together.



As I was getting ready for bed I thought about the night's events. I thought that I would list some things to think about for anyone that is reading this that may be thinking of marriage.....



1. PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE. If your mate does not like to be adventures and you do they are not all of a sudden going to want and go sky diving just because you are engaged or married



2. The number one cause of infidelity is NOT sex. It is attention. People stray because they are not receiving the appreciation / love / support - whatever. The sex always comes later.



3. When you are marring someone you are also marrying their family. If you cannot stand them be prepared to spend the rest of your life dealing with it.



* sigh *

COMMENTS

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ladySnowStrixx
15:20 Oct 11 2009

I completely agree and that is why I got married and divorced 3 times before I found the right man.

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PandorasBx
19:54 Oct 11 2009

Well said and I'm glad that you expressed your point of view because such behavior is intolerable and morally corrupt.

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Nedra
01:29 Oct 12 2009

Thank you both for the support. I am often very abrupt when asked for my opinion and sometimes come off as too harsh.....although in this case I believe that it was warranted.

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Today was a good day. Spent 3 hours at the park with my little one......I will pay for that tomorrow.....but today was a good day.....