What should she do? What could she do? Her life had never been tied down by family, hell, she wasn't even brought up by them. No, instead, she was brought up by her friends, the ones who cared for her, nurtured her, brought her heart to peace. She'd always wondered, though, what it would be like to live with the ones who shared her blood, the one's who's legacies were intertwined with her own. But she never knew it would be such a disappointment. Her life, which had always been led on by the hope of seeing her father, was filled with the disappointment that, until she was an adult, until she was legal, it could not, and would not happen. But then her chance came.
On her 18th birthday, she finally heard his voice, finally got a taste of the man who'd been behind her heart, the man she knew to be her father. But the taste didn't include disappointment. No, there was no room for that in her dreams. The girl spun wild fantasies about who he was. The prince in some far away land, who had a big mansion, and a great life, and who wanted her to be a part of it. About one of these things, she was right. No, her father didn't have a big house, or a fancy car. Nor did he live in some far away land, unless you count a city in the middle of a hick state a far away land, and a trailer a large house.
She'd never been bogged down with details like, how big of a house she wanted, how nice of a car she wanted, what country she'd wanted to live in. The girl, in fact, didn't like big houses, and she liked old cars, and for the moment, the country she lived in was doing just fine for her. So why was it a disappointment?
For all the years that she pictured living with her father, she'd never, not once, considered the possibility of the one man she wanted to get to know at the time, having a girlfriend who would toy with his emotions. She never considered that this woman, this being, would tear away her chances for happiness, rip them right out, and make her miserable. But the one thing she never even thought about, the one thing that would never have crossed her mind, was that her smile, her beautiful and all to common smile, would become akin to an endangered species, and that the tears would replace that smile, and snuff out that laugh of hers.
Time and time again, whilst sitting in her closet sized room, the girl would listen to the fighting, the arguing, the insults, and take in the anger, each time telling herself that she'd had enough, and that if it didn't stop, she was going to leave. And time and time again, she would cork her feelings, hide them away from her father, letting them only show when she was in the safety of her room, while talking to people who's faces she'd never see, people that she had come to trust, people that had slowly unraveled the the threads, torn down the walls of the deepest recesses of her heart, and won her over, people that understood the way she felt, people...like herself.
This young girl, thought that she would be stuck, that the pain, the heartache, and the disappointment would never end. She stopped seeing the silver lining, stopped hoping for change, and stopped expecting to find some knight in shining armor riding on a white horse, coming to rescue her from the nightmare her life had become. But knights in shining armor and silver linings in the darkest of clouds often pop up when you least expect it. One day, while talking to her closest and dearest friend, a friend she hadn't seen for over a year, almost two, spoke with her, told her that she herself was moving to a far away land, Sin City itself. She told the young girl that she wanted her to go along for the journey, and while the young girl would be starting on it a little later than her dear friend, she wanted her company. Finally, the young girl was seeing a silver lining. Finally, the young girl was hoping, wishing, and feeling a change in the wind, and a tug at her heart. It spoke of happiness, of good times, and of the one thing she wanted most, a true home.
And so, the girl, knowing that her father would be displeased, decided to do what was right for herself, and go on this journey. Her preparations have started, and she knows that she is ready to start.
The young girl had heard once that, "Home is where the heart is. If you're heart's not in it, than it's not your home. Home can be a person, a place, or a thing you love to do. If it's in your heart, then it's your home." Her home will always be divided, across the country, because, while the place she has been staying for the past few months may not be in her heart, her father is always there, along with her dearest friend who'd become her knight, and the rest of her companions. Her home is even in the people whom she'd spoken to over the web, the people who's faces shall remain unseen, and who's advice shall forever be held dear. Her heart will forever remain torn, torn between the people she love, but the young girl knows, that she will find happiness, even a small portion, where ever her journey takes her.
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