Hey...just a weekly update from your lovely Tomisha here. So yes..as the school year rounds down to a close, I find myself growing more and more depressed. People, as always, will be leaving, and new people will come in, but nothing prepared me for the feeling I would have when I had to move out of my room. Granted, I will be getting used to this, as it will happen every year for the next three years, but even so, I can't help but notice that...I could have done a hell of a lot better. As I may have talked about, I'm not sure, I am terribly worried about my grades this year. I'm on a scholarship from my high school that requires a certain GPA standard, and I don't think I have met it this year. Not to mention that I don't believe I have the right amount of credits to be a full time student at the moment either. While I am a resident of the college, currently, I didn't do so hawt on my grades and so may have failed more classes than I could afford. I'm hoping that I have the correct GPA for the year to continue coming here, fore I have found that I love this place terribly, but...I can't shake the feeling that I might have come up short. However, I am not going to pull the Self Prophecy shit and say that I did bad, then actually found that I have. I've done it before, and it's not pretty. However, I am a little cynical about my grades.
As for moving out, I'm already half packed. Funny how I'm leaving exactly a week from today, and I've packed more than my roommate has, who is leaving on Wednesday no less...but even still...seeing empty walls and full boxes makes my heart lurch. It's saddening to know that I will have to leave this room that I have spent the past eight months in. It has become my space. My home. Either way, I will find another space, another home next year. But still...being half packed, is a little disheartening. It kinda sucks.
Another thing I would like to bring into the light, is my roommate. I know that we both lead separate lives, but even still, I'm one of her closest friends here, and she's starting to treat me like I'm not. Excuse me if I go on a rant about this, but I need to vent. I've played third wheel almost my entire life, that is until My best friend Melissa came along and made sure I wasn't too alone. She's awesome in every way, and she took the time out to talk to me, and include me in some things that...I realize I really had no business being included in. She's an awesome person, and one that I think everyone should get to know, but that's just me...lol...anywho...I was basically a loner until I met her. Then when I went on to college, I admit, I don't get to see her as often as I would like {pfft..everyday. T-T} and...well...I miss her. But, to save myself from constant depression, I made new friends, a 24 year old sophomore names Amanda, and my roommate, Michelle. But lately, it feels as though, my roommate weren't really my roommate anymores. She's recently gotten a boyfriend, and while I can understand that she wants to spend time with him, it's like she spends time with him and his friends more than she does us. She's started to treat me and Amanda like we're her third wheel again and frankly, I hate it. I see my friend Amanda...who lives all the way across campus...more than I see my roommate now. But sometimes...All I wanna do, is talk to my roommate, to spend time with her, and it just doesn't happen too much anymore. *sigh* I'm not sure how to break it to her either. We-Amanda and myself-sorta did the other day, but, well..simply put, Mo's got a thick head on those little shoulders, and so I don't think it really sank in. Oh well...sorry about the rant, but I couldn't help it. I needed it.
That about raps up this week's update...if I keep up with this crap, I'll be giving updates every week, so tune in next time to get yet another mouthful.
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