I know you ordered me to bed at 11. I know I went to bed heart sick at 10. After we got off the phone, I cried. I cannot sleep. The uncertainty of knowing what you will decide is keeping me awake. My desire to reach out to touch you as you have touched me is stronger than the Ambien I took 2 hours ago. I'm sorry I am disobeying you. These words had to have a place to go. They must come out of my head or I will explode.
At first I was attracted to you and life was fun. Then you became real to me, little bit by little bit. Brick after brick started to fall from my wall. It got thin enough that you powered through. So if you decide to leave... there is a whole in my wall I need to repair. The wall I can fix. The hole in my heart will scar.
I know that it was me who backed up. But truthfully I cannot picture life without you in it. Every step I took away from you, crushed my chest and broke my heart. If you care, do not let me do this to myself.
You can show tenderness so wonderful that it melts my resolve to remain strong. It is no longer a game for me. You now have my heart. A heart so guarded, so protected that it can belong to only 1 person. No one else can even get close to it.
You have my heart in your hands. What will you do with it? The anticipation is killing me. What will your answer be?
COMMENTS
-