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Working overnights and not having a car makes it feel like I don't get a full "day" off, even though I do. I spend the first night and next day recovering because I hurt really bad, then I can't go anywhere the next day because it will mess up my sleep for the next night (day?). I need a fricken car. But first, I have to pay my property tax, so I can't work on getting a car yet. Yeah, I'm frustrated, but I still realize this is a much better job than my last one.

Also, it's weird to not be able to see or talk to any of my in-person friends (except one person on Sunday morning after work--she picks me up) or even the family I do rarely talk to anymore. No one is awake in the morning, or they're working, and I am not staying up longer or getting up early and making my night at work that much harder. I hope I can adjust so I can figure it out eventually.

Yeah, I'm whining. So what? I gripe, then I do the thing that has to be done. Just letting out a little stress before I settle in to do nothing for the rest of the night. Yayy!

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TristesseX
12:46 Sep 21 2019

It doesn't sound too terrible, tbh. I am glad you're getting somewhere job-wise, since you said it is much better. Things may be slow-moving, but at least they are moving!

*hugz*

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NLW
09:27 Sep 23 2019

Yeah. It's not too bad. Thanks for the hugs. :)

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Wait--is my life actually getting better? In some ways, no. I am still having physical issues. However, when I look back at where I came from, emotionally and mentally, I am better, even with recurring depression. And now that I'm working again--and getting more pay than at my last job--things seem to be getting better for me financially. It's a step in the right direction anyway, yet I hesitate to fully embrace it to celebrate it because my cautious nature (as well as my experience) have me waiting for disaster to chase down my joy and kill it. Hmmm. I guess I'll try to be cautiously optimistic. (A difficult feat for someone who is generally a pessimist.)

COMMENTS

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TristesseX
15:07 Sep 06 2019

I know what you mean... I'm more of a pessimist, myself. Sounds like you have a streak of self-destructive tendency. It's tough, but hey, cheers to you on the positive improvements!

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NLW
04:07 Sep 21 2019

Thank you. I hope it continues.

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