hehehehe I miss watching the old Batman show
BUT
I'm watching
Batman Returns
I like Danny DeVito as The Penguin...
I liked the first two Batman's quite well, the others not so much... I dunno if it was Val Kilmer taking over the role (followed by Clooney [shudder]) or if it was the story lines or what...but they were huge disappointments to me...........
However I am told Batman Begins 'kicked very well' from a few reliable sources, including my father, whose taste in movies parallels my own
I think I'll go buy it today.
Same Bat time, same Bat channel
A friend's 90 year old grandfather is to be taken off life support tomorrow morning. My friend doesn't think that there is anyone to feel sorry for in this case, because His grandfather has been on morphine and other medications for chronic pain for a long time. He was an active man, he was gardening before he was put in the hospital... however my friend is not able to be there at the last and it's making me think about death and the living in general.
I don't believe there is an after life...I believe that when you die that’s it.
But I also don't think death is something to fear.
I think death affects the living in a negative way when it doesn't have to.
Yes there are tragic deaths...murders, accidents, diseases etc...
There are many deaths that are sudden and I can understand those affecting the living. But if the afterlife is supposed to be this wonderful place like most people believes, why does the natural course of life and those leaving it affect most people so negatively?
A little girl I know is obsessed with those who have died in her life...from animals to great grandmothers. I can see her thinking about what her family tells her, and I don't think she 'gets' heaven either...although that is the only answer she is given.
My friend's attitude about his grandfather's death is one of relief and peace because he's been suffering. The only thing he is sad about is the fact he is too far away for him to get there to say good bye.
That’s what is bothering him.
I find that to be sound of mind.
To anyone concerned with their weight and is gullible to easy diet schemes:
I have devised a fool proof way to cut calories out of every dish you eat...
It's really quite simple and effective.
I guarantee it will cut your calorie intake at every meal.
Along with simple exercise this diet will help you effectively loose weight.
Eat whatever you want...
Don't worry about carbs/sugars/fat/whatever
This diet allows you to eat whatever you want and STILL cut calories in half!
Want to know what it is?
Here you go:
All you have to do is drop half of your food on the floor.
I did this earlier with my sandwich. I was amazed at how easy it was.
That’ll be $100, thank you.
The puppy my supposed best friend took from the litter my dogs had, has been chewing up her cabinets during the day so they decided to tie him out in the yard.
(By the by chewing cabinets is a training issue that is not hard to resolve if you just spend a little time on it.)
I can hear him crying right now from within my house.
His sister is over here with Kiba and their parents while he's tied up with nothing to do but cry.
I'd go get him and let him stay with us during the day....
But she can't even call me to ask if she can come get her stuff.
She calls the neighbor and asks her to have her son bring it to her.
Not much pisses me off more than people who say they care about you and then treat you like shit.
I do feel sorry for the puppy though.
You decided you couldn't sleep. Stayed up until early morning. Fell asleep on the couch. I woke up about 9 and put the dogs out. You asked if I was staying up or going back to bed. I said I would probably stay up.
I asked if you wanted to go sleep in the bedroom. You say whats the point. So I sit quietly on the love seat so as not to disturb you for a while. Yet you still sat up and said "WHAT?". To which I said I'm just sitting here trying not to disturb you. You decided that was a lie and jumped up saying fine I'll go back to the bed room since obviously somethings going on that you don't want me to see. I tried to defend myself by saying I was trying to let you rest. But you said I was distrubing you more just sitting here than if I had been doing something. All you care about is what you think I am doing and not what I actually am. If I had stood up and went back to bed, or opened my lap top....you would have found something to bitch about even then
Damned if you do, fucked if you don't.
I can't always be wrong... can I?
It is ...disturbing...
how a person can affect you...
A bad day turns into a beautiful night with just casual conversation...
a joke here and there and a smile
exaltation at seeing you and a sense of loss when we say good night.
A friend and more all rolled into one
conversation that is never stagnant
even when repetitious
missing you when life keeps us apart.
You have no idea.
Let's keep it that way for the sake of something.
I am crazy.
Something calls me from across an ocean....
and I have the opportunity to follow the siren's call.
But it means leaving everything behind and I do mean EVERYTHING and taking a chance...
I can go to school and that’s something I would love to do...
But there is so much...to lose...and so much to gain..
Those that know me well, know my longing from across the sea.. maybe an obsession even..
and the desire to leave is strong
Most people support me and want me to go..
but they aren't the once taking a chance or playing with other's emotions...
I normally regret the things I DON'T do
so chances aren't hard for me to take.
I just have so much to consider
and other people to think about...
and that makes it hard.
Sometimes I feel so close to you, I forget how far apart we are
but then I think..... how far apart can our two minds be?
We are here are we not?
And here is together.
How did I ever find you?
I'm still trying to figure out who I would be without you..........................
It's always amazing to me when I know what you are thinking...when I know what you will do.
I know when you won't be around and why.....
I wonder how I can know you so well....better than I know myself and still be surprised that you care.
I never thought you would or could and here we are staring at something we never imagined.....
the brink of something I think I always wanted.
I get weak when I am tired...or when I've had a few for that matter...
I say things that are known but probably don't need to be spoken
I fall prey to the inherent weaknesses of my sex
It disturbs me that all it takes is a little beer or some tiredness to turn me into an emotional wreck.
I become something I'm not.....
and I don't remember what I say and do just vague visions of pounding another with my fears
*sigh*
Then I get frustrated with myself.
I woke up this morning feeling...out of sorts and somewhat crappy.
Sleep has been not restful, but disturbed, the last few nights.
Not sure if it's dreams reflecting my own anxiety and apprehension...........
Or if it's just one of those things.
The unhappiness is getting stronger
I cannot force someone to BE happy
and it's affecting my own will to find happiness in something
Lack of motivation is not someone else's fault.
Your bad mood is not someone else’s fault.
Blaming me is not going to make you happy.
It's just going to eventually piss me off beyond anything a smoke can calm.
Something’s got to change
Or something’s going to break
And I'm afraid it's going to be me...
LB
cheese
eyebrows
code
Trey Parker
intelligence
humor
smart asses
confidence
goofyness
learning
but mostly LB
yeah
p.s. I know I spelled "goofyness" wrong :P
What is the difference between living and merely existing?
Does living involve heart-felt desires? Going after what you want?
Does existing mean you don't make a choice and live with what you get? Or just taking the first thing that comes along and dealing with it?
Am I living or existing?
Ok something is really annoying me.
I don't MIND being stared at because it really isn't anything to get worked up about, and the stare-er usually goes on after a while.
BUT there is this...girl....at work who has been staring at me since she came on about 3 weeks ago. Come on, you see me nearly every day what the fuck is there to stare at? It's not even like I do anything outrageous to myself when I'm at work. You'll be lucky I put makeup on.
SO what is the fascination?
The next time she does it I'm going to pull faces at her, seriously...it's starting to piss me off.
I thank the mad people at MAD for feeding my thirst for sarcasm and clever stupidity
DO-IT-YOURSELF George W. Bush Press Conference
my results:
Q:
Mr President, considering your attempts to destroy the nation, what message do you have for pre-school devil worshippers?
Dubya:
I'm aware that a slobbering mass of bloggers criticize my annoying smirk. Fortunatly, I can rely on Boy Scout Troop 41's raging hormones while something screwy happens in Iraq.
So, let me state, "I'm Batman!"
" If you think about it, "Tater Tot" is a bad name for a food, because it suggests that you are eating potato babies." - Tad
Words By: Tim Jensen
I close my eyes and I keep seeing things
Rainbow waterfalls
sunny liquid dream
Confusion creeps inside me raining doubt
Gotta get to you
But I don't know how
Call me, Call me
Let me know it's alright
Call me, call me
Don't you think it's 'bout time
Please won't you call and
Ease my mind
Reasons for me to find you
Peace of mind
What can I do
to get me to you
I had your number quite some time ago
Back when we were one
But I had to grow
Ten thousand years I've searched it seems and now
Gotta get to you
Won't you tell me how
Call me, Call me
Let me know you are there
Call me, call me
I wanna know you still care
Come on now won't you
Ease my mind
Reasons for me to find you
Peace of mind
Reasons for living my life
Ease my mind
Reasons for me to know you
Peace of mind
what can I do
to get me to you
Sometimes when words fail me I wonder exactly what I was trying to say in the first place, and why certain people leave me at a loss for words.
Maybe my own respect/admiration/emotions (depending on who they are) get in the way
Perhaps the person I think I am is not really who I am, and they lay me bare to the bone with their honesty/personality/love (again, depending on who they are)
In a world full of people who slide by me with out making an impression, those that stand out nearly always shake the foundations of what I thought I had right.
I don't mind that so much as I wish I didn't turn into a gibbering idiot when they speak.
you were here
I was like you
I could be free
I felt like you make me feel all the time
I had the guts I should have
I had told you before
I could tell you now
it wasn't complicated
you would say something, anything
I was younger, stupider
I was yours
I could surprise you
I was older, wiser
I could take you away
I was someone else, anyone
that I controled my emotions better
I always said the right thing
I was there
I knew what this was
I could smell you
I knew what to do
I wasn't your distraction
things were different
we had an island somewhere
I didn't hurt you
I could go back in time
there were better options
I didn't doubt you
I could taste you
you would come for me
I could see the future
I could see you
I didn't doubt myself
I didn't have to make mistakes to learn
I never knew
you would touch me
my dreams became truth
I never said
I knew that love was all we needed.
Something is wrong with me.
I dislike being in public….
I have to hurry when shopping because if I take too long, I get short of breath and feel closed in.
It's not so much places...but PEOPLE
I am better when there aren't so many people around, so naturally the weekends suck for me if I have to go shop.
Even going to the movies, I'd rather go at the slow times...crowded movie theaters freak me out.
I have to get in early and leave last at movies or anywhere where a lot of people are going to be around.. It doesn't feel so cramped when the crowd grows and dissipates slowly...but if I come in and the crowd is already there. I'm immediately uncomfortable.
I think it's getting worse as I get older.....
The rain
I am alive in it
I am relaxed in it
There is something peaceful in letting it come in contact with my body
I adore the smell of rain in the air
People I know say they enjoy it, but thats from the comfort of their living rooms
I have an umbrella
but I couldn't tell you where it is.
I never have clothes on, or a hairstyle that I feel should keep me from contact with something that soothes me.
I've missed the rain, this winter has been too dry
But it's rained the past two days, and my mood has been better than in has been all last week.
yesterday after it got dark, Kiba and I stood in the rain for about half an hour, just taking a break from being a woman and a dog.
I enjoy watching him in the rain, and I'm glad he enjoys it too
He takes after his dad in that way.
The rain is calling me now...
and my only regret is my one vice does not get along with the rain.
Smoking a wet cigerette is not fun
but I still enjoy crouching somewhere to keep it dry ;]
Some one who has a poodle with bows and hairy cheesey nipples is cooler than I...
I cannot deal with that. So, I am off to slit my wrists
good bye cruel VR!
On 22:09:24 Mar 18 2006 Daire wrote:
I can delete you.
I win.
I cannot and will not MAKE you happy.
I cannot be compared to you
so stop trying
if you want to let me go
I will find somewhere to go.
Just stop making me your excuse and your reason
I sing this every year to an irish friend of mine around this time. It's a joke of course...and he has a sense of humor ;]
Since I can't sing it to him this year I'm posting it here for him to see:
Irish Boy:
Well I had a drink with a friend of mine
a week ago today
we were celebrating a month and a half
too late St. Paddy's Day
well I bought 'im a round and he bought me a round
and the bouncer bought us anudder
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter
Well we looked at each other and had to laugh
as we lay there in our stink
well I woulda cried if I woulda thought
but every time I thought I'd drink
and if his poor old gray-haired ma'd
see us there she woulda shuddered
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter
Well my Irish friend he liked to surf
but me I couldn't swim
well he said that he could teach me how
and I said I trusted him
he swore he'd never let me drown
he loved me like a brudder
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter
Well sure enough I drowned
and I wound up at the pearly gates
where St. Peter said, "You're drunk as
hell and son you shoulda ate"
so he sent me back down to get a bite
but instead I bought anudder
what's an Irish boy from a good family
doing in the gutter
a dream someone once had
Let's claim a "technically island" for our own...
A reef that’s mostly underwater with a single light house in international waters. Subject only to international law. Whatever happens there is our business, we won't answer to anyone but ourselves, as long as we basically agree not to kill each other.
"Buy extra freedom for the price of a hundred feet of desolate rock somewhere"
I feel like I'm being controled.....and not in the way that I GIVE control over myself to someone. I feel it's being taken. Because I have no where else to turn.
I can only blame myself. Sometimes we make choices that are not the best, although they seem so at the time.
Would making another choice be better? Or just end up worse?
Is the grass greener? Or is a troll waiting under the bridge?
Do I have the gonads to find out?
Why does everything have to be difficult?
*sigh*
Hmm
I'm doubting myself and thats never a good thing.
Thats the question I got when I asked if I could renew my Premium Membership.
I don't need a reason for everything I want.
It's not even like it costs a whole lot...
Someone said that to me today, and when I said "What, exactly?" they refered me to this:
http://www.lockpickbook.net/index.htm
and said "Prepare to have your mind fucked with"
I looked a few mins and said "ooooo"
and he said "Yeah good stuff there"
(NOTE: if you have anything against homosexuals, probably not a good idea to check that website out)
I have spent the past hour or so reading "Lockpick Pornography"
There are some brilliant minds out there, I think most people over look them through sheer blindness...
I will buy this book simply because of Joey Comeau's mind:
I lose my Premium Membership tomorrow.
Must convince somone I will D I E with out it so they will let me spend money on it.
cross your legs for me.
Some one gave me a great laugh this afternoon
They grabbed the cat , sniffed it and said "This smells like pussy."
I don't care about cats, but I had to laugh.
I'm in a strange mood today, strange for me anyway.
I feel needy, crushed, hurt and alone.
I almost never feel any of those things.
I know he has something to do with it and the distance there is between us...literally and mentally.
There are walls between us I've never had to overcome before. But they aren't emotional walls, because that’s not where we shut ourselves off.
That’s where we've been open.....
It’s...
Somewhere....else.....
It's how we wrap ourselves up in projects and try to distract ourselves from distractions. Protection...from...facing the truth? The inevitability of what we really want and need?
Of having to make a decision about where we go from here.
Shoving aside what we both feel and ignoring what that means.......truly trying to ignore love, for the sake of others.
I've been thinking about words and how they mean different things to different people
A lot of what I say doesn't mean a whole lot to most people. But that’s not really the words I choose but more of what those words mean to me.
I've noticed that some words have become meaningless in society, mainly among the young.
Words like "love" and "hate" have been skewered beyond meaning.
Everyone "loves" everything and "hates" everything
Life is not black and white.
The world in general is not black and white
Just like words the world appears different to each person.
I don't think anyone has the right to tell me what my world and my words SHOULD be. Even if they are apart of it.
On a completely different subject:
There are very few people who have a mind I crave off hand I can think of four...
Insightful
Intelligent
Honest
Thinking
Learning
Humorous
And witty
Minds that make my world a little more colorful
............{and make me feel "unsmart" }...................
them: "You want an Egg McMuffin?"
me: "Nah, I'm full."
them: "Plus you'll get fat."
Me: "hehe *Immitating Brian Griffin* I LOOOOOOVE Egg McMuffins, but I can't eat them...cause then I'd get fat. But they're SOOOOOOOOOOO good."
them: "What?"
me: "Nothing."
Some one called my dogs fat yesterday
He said you couldn't "see their ribs"
So that means they are fat?
Uh No
I got offended and explained the situation to him:
Kiba is fattish, but he's a puppy and pups are supposed to be that way. Pretty soon he'll be shooting upwards and he'll need his fat.
Axel is NOT fat. He's muscular and in shape.
Emma may be lazier than the males but she's not fat either.
If you SEE ribs they are too skinny
I take pride in my dog's appearance thank you >: P
{Probably more than my own HA!}
Of course he's a teenager and I don't expect him really understand the reality of taking care of a dog
Today I saw the pups that his family and my friend both took from the litter Ax and Em had (Kiba's brother and sister)
No wonder he thinks my dogs are over weight. Both of those puppies were skinny. Not really unhealthy looking yet but thin. They both can squeeze in under the gate into my yard. Wookie used to be bigger than Kiba, but now Kiba is much larger.
It may be type of food being fed...
I only feed my dogs food with a meat as the first ingredient (I.E. IAMS)
I told them that’s the best thing for dogs (and you can get cheaper versions of dog food with meat as the main ingredient) but who knows if they listened
Anyway the POINT of my rambling is that don't tell me my dogs are fat if you know nothing of taking care of one.
Heh
Them: (walking in) You are so weird.
Me: (reading back of cereal box) Is that a fact?
Them: You’re eating 'Pirates of the Caribbean' cereal aren’t you?
Me: (bad pirate accent) Arr land-lubber, don’t ye see it has ‘chocolate pearls and pirate marshmallows’?
Them :(chuckles) The Flying Spaghetti Monster would be proud.
Me: (laughs) Maybe he’ll ‘touch me with his noodly appendage’.
I just read a profile that had posted RIGHT at the top a message from his wife stating he had passed away in November
I went back and read the comments and around the time of his passing there were condolences posted.
So his wife's message had been there a while
However, the last 17 comments were hellos/welcomes and "if you need help with the Rave let me know" and a few generic stamps thrown in
For fuck's sake
READ PROFILES
*tell me you will do anything for me, thats not what I want to hear
*look at me like I am everything, I can't stand the emotion in your eyes
*touch me gently, I don't want to feel your closeness
*whisper my name, the sound of it deafens me
*stay away, I cant beat the distance
*stop teaching me, I love learning
*stop loving me, I'll get through it somehow
"whatca doin?"
"Reading up on GNU and kinda watching The Apple Dumpling Gang on TV."
"lol apple dumpling gang."
"Pfft."
"it's ok i was watching it too"
"Heh. >:P"
Raynne -- [noun]: A person who is constantly high 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
While driving home from work today I came upon a busy intersection that had a flashing red light when it was usually the normal green/yellow/red
I groaned from about half a mile away because I knew what was going on at that light
Sure enough I wasn't disapointed
cars where just darting through the interesection with no rhyme or reason 4 or 5 cars would go from one direction while a couple more went from another.
I did get a chuckle when an 18 wheeler (who actually knew what you are SUPPOSED to do in a situation like that) just pulled out and cut off about 5 cars that were sneaking through when it wasn't their turn.
for anyone reading this that was one of those morons:
A flashing read light is to be considered a STOP sign. And if you don't know how to act at a Stop sign, you shouldn't be driving....EVER.
I hate people and their stupidity when it messes up things for me.
"so whats your worst feature physically?"
"I hate these kind of questions."
"come on, I want to know."
"*sigh* My physical body."
"Uh, The entire thing? why?"
"It holds me back."
"What?"
"*sighs again* This is why I hate these kind of questions."
Argh
My friend, who pretty much ignores me when she finds "love" every other month or so has moved out of my house (actually thats the good part)
but she moved across the street with her slack-jawed, rotten-toothed, vacent eyed, greasy haired, unintelligent, controlling, hick boy friend
(notice to the reader: my description of him has nothing to do with his appearance, but is merely my judgement of his personality and yes, I don't like him)
ACROSS THE STREET
fortunatly for them its also around the corner slightly so I won't be tempted to throw rocks at him.
Or sic my dog on him...
Don't take this the wrong way. I am not the jealous type..mostly
I just don't like people who DEMAND every second of your time.
If we are shopping and your "man" won't "let" you off the phone when you say "I'm with so-and-so I'll call you later" and keeps on talking and asking things that make you respond with "Of course I love you" over and over There is a problem.
When you speak to me and the conversation consists of "hi. How are you? fine. ok." and then you wander off cause he's calling for the Nth time today. There is a problem.
I don't blame him, even though my gut distrusts him and I do not like him.
I blame you
because you let it keep happening.
You let him have control
just so you can have someone
I feel sorry for you :/
numb to what you say to me
it's not like it matters
I am always here for you
even when you go away
I know you'll be back
some malicious code ties us together
you've seen it
we wrote it
and you progamed it into our lives
nothing ever changes
except everything.
Yeah:
I CAN NOT STAND WHEN 3V3RY PROFIEL I READ IS WRITAN LIEK THIS:
"HI I HAET EVERYONA AND I DONT GIEV A SHIT WUT U RAET MA I CUD FUK U UP
DONT LAEBL ME AV3N THOUGH AL IM IS A PUNK AS BITCH WHO R U 2 JUDGA ME
I??!!!?! OMG WTF FUKNG HAET MAH LIEF /NM3 / PAERNTS / FREINDS/ U"
ENGLISH TAUGHT IN TEH SKOOLS ANYMORE?
?!!?!!??! WTF LOL
I hate myself for posting that
http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html
"heh heh heh
you say.. funny ting"
I just went to a friend's house to take some photos of her ankle biters (children) to use in a gift for her Mother-in-law.
For a second, while holding the youngest, I thought "I could do this. I could be a mother."
Then he spit up on me.
With the right person. I could do it, but thats neither here nor now.
.......................................
Someone commented to me in passing that my "smile is empty"
I thought about that for a while
yeah I can see how that would be true.
But it may be empty for different reasons each time
I smile for many reasons
not all of them because I am in a good mood, or because I am glad to see you
I suppose my real smile says enough to the people who see it that they can tell when its courtesy
Or
not
Work today wasn't as mmmm annoying as usual
I work with mainly a bunch of cool people and we have a good laugh now and then.
There is one ditzy girl that probably has two brain cells and one of them is dead. Seriously. She is that dumb. This can be funny but also annoying.
Anyway, the smokers and I were outside in our usual spot (Yes I resisted temptation) when she comes out and joins us. Apparently we (ok maybe it was just the guys) were not giving her enough attention because she asked us a hypothetical question out of the blue:
"Uh, like which would you rather be: smart or like really fat?"
Every one pretty much acted noncommittal about the whole thing and I just grunted.
So she turns to me and says "Really. Which would you rather be?"
I replied "Fat."
She said "Ew why? You be all fat and stuff I couldn't stand that." (Seriously that’s what she said)
I didn't hesitate in replying with: "You can't stand it because out of those choices being fat is the only option you have will ever have."
She kind of sputtered and drowned about then
At least she didn't talk to me any more :D
This gave me a much needed laugh and brought odd looks from people, of course I don't have to mention you read from the bottom up I hope ;]:
On 01:02:19 Mar 07 2006 Daire wrote:
Well there are no other animals worth mentioning really, except the emo turkey.
gobble gobble cut
On 01:01:33 Mar 07 2006 Raynne wrote:
HAHAHAHAHA
I'ma just wait until you are done to edit all this in to my journal
I can't stop laughing
On 00:59:06 Mar 07 2006 Daire wrote:
Cock a doodle doo.
A goat that just pisses everyone off by copying the other animals.
On 00:58:17 Mar 07 2006 Raynne wrote:
hahaha oh fuck I already put the OTHER in my journal
damnit
cock-a-doodle-doo
On 00:44:37 Mar 07 2006 Daire wrote:
moo CUNT ASS FUCK BITCH.
Cow with touretes.
On 00:42:46 Mar 07 2006 Raynne wrote:
HAHAHA
*laughs out loud and makes people go "what????*
pig with a stutter
that just inspires all kinds of ideas.
quack
On 23:37:22 Mar 06 2006 Daire wrote:
Thats fine with me....oi....oi.....oink.
(*pig with a stutter)
On 22:31:07 Mar 06 2006 Raynne wrote:
I've decided that all our conversations will end with barn yard animal sounds
neigh
Thinking today about what exactly makes people attractive to us.
Sure, sure a "hawt" person makes most people just cream.
I've always been different in that aspect, and today while rating some profiles I thought more about it
I can admit it when a person is good looking but it's rather a detatched perspective.
As soon as they open their mouth, or type a word, my ideas stray from that detatched perspective.
Usually to the "argh" and moving on...
When I do this isn't a sexual thing it's a personality thing. I'm not looking for a lover or someone to fuck just a mind that is attractive.
On a sexual level...
Looks have nothing to do with what i find attractive
after I get to know who a person is I begin to find them attractive or not.
I don't look at people as fat, skinny, ugly, beautiful, hot, cold, warm...whatever
people are people (que depeche mode in my head >_
and that maybe an alien term to some.
I should come up with questions to ask to see if anyone else feels that way
Or maybe I'll be lazy
This is what I want on my tomb stone.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
I have just spent a little over 3 hours reading a journal
Thats right THREE HOURS
I read it all
front to back over a year of personal entries with a little bit of poetry and random bits of information thrown in.
Usually this would bore me.
I get bored reading my own drivel and I've lived that.
Not to say whats happening in your life is not important, not exciting/horrible/tragic/wonderful
I guess it's one of those things that I just don't "feel".
Anyway, as I said: Usually this would bore me.
I spent the past 3 hours enthralled and captivated.
Really doesn't matter WHO it was, although I expect this happens often with this particular journal, but it takes a lot to impress me, and it drew me in an would not let go.
Since I was first introduced to this journal i have been wanting to go through the whole thing and I'm glad I finally did.
I 'm going through a tough time right now and the author, although not writing for anyone has given me laughs on a daily basis and words that have been the highlight of my days.
For that I thank you.
I remember watching E.T. a couple of years ago...I long time since I had seen it before then too
and when Elliot said "This is reality, Greg!" after Greg had suggested something crazy I _think_ about how E.T. was going to get home, i remember them being in the back of the van....I can't remember exactly.
Anyway, I just remember cracking up because of the situation and the movie being what it was and all.
which brings up something:
Reality
I've been thinking about it and what it REALLY means
I feel like I spend most of my time in a world of my own creation that does not hold room for certain people
I feel wrong for that
I feel bad that I have made choices that I did for convenience.
I have never regretted things before but I do one thing.
I regret lying to myself years ago
I did.
and I know it
distracting myself..going with convenience is still lying
If it just had concerned me I wouldn't be so regretful
I know what I want
it's what I should have done a long time ago
now if I only have the oo's to do it
My yard is full of flowers which I can enjoy from a distance but do not have a desire to get up close and personal. I am no gardener. I kill anything that is NOT a cactus or a succulent. Only because they don't mind when I forget about them.
So the daffodils that call my yard home will have to fend for them selves. Until I pay some kids to clean it up. Even then, good luck.
I found some sealing wax at a craft store. Alas it is not my color. They only carry silver gold and white for wedding invitations and the like.
I seal all my letters in wax and although they are far and few between I like to have the color I chose. I can live with silver but gold and white do nothing for me.
I do NOT consider myself a professional photographer by any means. Yes I get paid. Yes I do weddings. Yeah I may have "talent".
Do not ask me to give you pointers, do not ask me to tell you what you are doing wrong. My photography is personal and while I enjoy talking about how it feels to be behind the camera, I am not a teacher.
If you enjoy what you are doing I can tell. And no amount of advice will make it better if you are not.
To me Photography is not something I do; it's a part of who I am. My camera, Dist (short for Distance), is with me nearly always because there are too many times a beautiful photo is lost in history. I see the world through a lens. I freeze those moments of time that are apart of who I am and how I see the world around me.
I am separate from anything around me when I am behind my camera. I am viewing the whole world differently and the reality that I know is shoved aside.
It may sound romantic, which is odd for me. It may sound fantastic. But there it is. I am alive.
If that helps you understand good. If not.....maybe photography is not who you are.
If I seem to be staring deep into your eyes, don't be alarmed.
I'm really only staring at your eyebrows.
I broke down and bought smokes yesterday
smoked two. One yesterday one today
I don't apologize for it ;]
I wanted to
Worked on some photos taken at a reception before I got my directional flash amazing what dodge and some hue/saturation can do
Hopefully will take some artsy photos the next couple days and put some new stuff on the portfolio. just can't be arsed much lately
on a different note one day I will behind the power that makes life hell for certain people who irritate me on a daily basis.
There are not many people I truly respect, that truly earn that respect..but the few that do know it
There is one person on here that I respect deeply
He is a visionary
an artist
a poet in his own right
someone I look up to
who's got his shit together
and is talented beyond belief
intriguing
with a personality I have never seen the equal to
these are my views of watching him from afar
he would possibly say he is none of the above
He is himself
and for that I bow my head in the utmost respect.
And it was written that I shall become one with the fantasy and live it as I would a life I chose. Destiny persuaded me but choice dictated my thoughts and forced me to see light I hated to feel, burning and searing. For once I was at a turbulent peace with my actions but not my heart that was ripped out and thrown upon cold fires of lust and hate. standing there emotionless watching as you writhe in the flames with aptahy wrapping hot fingers around my throat
the signs flash welcome home
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