The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

For many modern-day Pagans and Wiccans, being part of a coven is not an option. You may not live around any other people who share your beliefs, or perhaps you haven’t yet found the group that’s right for you. Or maybe you’ve just decided you enjoy being a solitary, eclectic practitioner. That’s fine, too. However, one of the benefits of being part of a coven or grove is the initiation process. This is a formal ceremony in which one dedicates oneself to the group and to the gods of the tradition. If you don’t have a group or High Priest to initiate you, what do you do?



Quite simply, you can self-dedicate.



Difficulty: Average

Time Required: Varied

Here's How:

By the very definition of the word, you can’t initiate yourself, because to initiate requires more than one person. But what you CAN do is dedicate yourself to your path and to the gods you have chosen to follow. For many people, doing this as part of a formal ritual helps to cement their relationship with the Divine. Some people choose to wait until they have studied for a year and a day before having a formal self-dedication rite. It’s entirely up to you.



You may want to wait until the time of the new moon to perform this self-dedication, because it is a time of new beginnings. Bear in mind that self-dedication is a commitment you are making; it should not be done at random or without significant thought beforehand.



This goal of this rite is to bring the dedicant closer to the Divine, as well as to declare your connection to your spiritual path.



You should perform this ritual skyclad, if at all possible. Find a place that is quiet, private, and free of distractions. Turn off your cell phone and send the kids out to play if you have to. You will need the following items:



Blessing oil

Half a teaspoon of salt

A white candle



Begin by grounding yourself. Find your inner peace, and become good and relaxed. Shut out all the things from your mundane life that distract you -- forget for a while about paying the bills, your son’s baseball practice, and whether or not you fed the cat. Focus only on yourself, and the tranquility you’re entitled to.



When you’re ready to proceed, sprinkle the salt on the floor or ground, and stand on it.



Light your white candle, and feel the warmth of the flame. Look into the glow of the fire and think about what goals you have for yourself on your spiritual journey. Think about your motivations for performing this self-dedication.



Stand before your altar, and say:



I am a child of the gods, and I ask them to bless me.



Dip your finger into the blessing oil, and with eyes closed, anoint your forehead. Some people do this by tracing a pentagram on the skin with the oil. Say:



May my mind be blessed, so that I can accept the wisdom of the gods.



Anoint the eyelids (be careful here!) and say:



May my eyes be blessed, so I can see my way clearly upon this path.



Anoint the tip of your nose with the oil, and say:



May my nose be blessed, so I can breathe in the essence of all that is Divine.



Anoint your lips, and say:



May my lips be blessed, so I may always speak with honor and respect.



Anoint your chest, and say:



May my heart be blessed, so I may love and be loved.



Anoint the tops of your hands, and say:



May my hands be blessed, so that I may use them to heal and help others.



Anoint your genital area, and say:



May my womb be blessed, so that I may honor the creation of life.



Anoint the soles of your feet, and say:



May my feet be blessed, so that I may walk side by side with the Divine.



If you have specific deities you follow, pledge your loyalty to them now. Otherwise, you can use simply “God and Goddess”, or “Mother and Father”. Say:



Tonight, I pledge my dedication to the God and Goddess. I will walk with them beside me, and ask them to guide me on this journey. I pledge to honor them, and ask that they allow me to grow closer to them. As I will, so it shall be.



Take some time to meditate. Feel the afterglow of the ritual, and feel the energy of the gods around you. You have brought yourself to the attention of the Divine, so they will be keeping an eye on you. Accept the gift of their wisdom.



What You Need:

Blessing Oil (see link above)

Salt

A white candle

A quiet place

Many Pagan and Wiccan couples choose to have a handfasting ritual instead of a traditional wedding ceremony. In some cases, it may be simply ceremonial -- a couple declaring their love for one another without the benefit of a state license. For other couples, it can be tied in with a state marriage certification issued by a legally authorized party such as a clergyperson or justice of the peace. Either way, it's becoming more and more popular, as Pagan and Wiccan couples are seeing that there is indeed an alternative for non-Christians who want more than just a courthouse wedding.



Marriages, Irregular and Regular

In centuries gone by, handfasting was a popular custom in the British Isles. In rural areas, it could be weeks or even months before a clergyman happened to stop by your village, so couples learned to make allowances. A handfasting was the equivalent of today's common-law marriage -- a man and woman simply clasped hands and declared themselves married. Generally this was done in the presence of a witness or witnesses. In Scotland, marriages were considered the office of the church until 1560, when marriage became a civil matter rather than a church sacrament. After that time, marriages were divided into "regular" and "irregular" marriages.



A regular marriage took place when banns were read, followed by a clergyman performing the duties of the ceremony. An irregular marriage could take place in one of three ways: a public declaration by the couple that they were husband and wife, followed by consummation of the relationship; by mutual agreement; or simply by living together and being recognized as husband and wife. As long as everyone was above the age of consent (12 for brides, 14 for grooms) and not too closely related, irregular marriages were generally considered as valid as a regular marriage.



Typically the gentry and landowners were married in the "regular" way, so there could be no question later on if the marriage was legally recognized or not -- in cases of inheritance, this could be a big issue. Handfastings or irregular marriages were considered the domain of the lower class and peasants. Around the middle of the 1700s, irregular marriages were made illegal in England -- but since Scotland kept the tradition, it wasn’t uncommon for an amorous British couple to elope over the border. Gretna Green became famous because it was the first town in Scotland that elopers would encounter once they left England -- and the Old Blacksmith's shop there became the site of many 'anvil weddings', performed by the village smith.



An Old Concept, New Ideas

The word "handfasting" fell by the wayside for many years. In the 1950s, when the witchcraft laws were repealed in England, various occultists and witches -- including Gerald Gardner and Doreen Valiente -- searched for a non-Christian term for their wedding ceremonies. They settled on "handfasting", and the concept was resurrected within the Neopagan movement. Typically, a Pagan handfasting was meant to be a secret ceremony, held only in front of your coven or study group. As Wicca and Paganism become more mainstream, however, more and more couples are finding ways to work their Pagan and Wiccan spirituality into their marriage ceremony.



The actual term "handfasting" comes from the tradition of the bride and groom crossing arms and joining hands -- basically, creating the infinity symbol (a figure-eight) with the hands. In Neopagan ceremonies, the clergyperson performing the ceremony will join the couple's hands with a cord or ribbon during the ritual. In some traditions, the cord remains in place until the couple consummates the marriage. While some people may choose to have their handfasting be a permanent bond, others might declare it to be valid for "a year and a day", at which point they will re-evaluate the relationship and determine whether to continue or not.



Who Can Be Handfast? Anyone!

One benefit of having a handfasting ceremony is that it because it's not the same as a legal wedding, there are more options available to people in non-traditional relationships. Anyone can have a handfasting -- same-sex couples, polyamorus families, transgender couples, etc. In Dianic Wicca, Z Budapest used the word "tryst" to refer to a ceremony for a lesbian couple.



Dormant for so long, the idea of the handfasting ceremony has enjoyed a huge rise in popularity. If you're fortunate enough to find someone you love enough to spend your life with, you may wish to consider having a handfasting rather than a traditional wedding ceremony.





Plan as far ahead as possible, especially if you're going to be writing your own vows. It will be far less stressful if you -- and your clergyperson -- have been able to get familiar with the wording, rather than waiting till the last minute.



Consider how long the ceremony is going to be. If you want people to stand in a circle, and have elderly relatives or small children present, anything longer than about half an hour is going to require chairs for some of your audience. In total, try to keep the ritual to about an hour -- if the crowd is really big, make your ceremony even shorter.



Bear in mind that if you want to have a circle, you're going to need far more room than if you just stand at the altar with your beloved. Dancing, spinning, calling of the quarters -- all that stuff takes up space. Make sure that your location will accommodate all of your guests.



Many Pagan and Wiccan couples hold their handfastings outdoors. If you choose to do this -- great! But make sure you've done your homework -- some public places like parks require you to have a reservation, or to fill out paperwork if there will be a large crowd present. When you make arrangements in advance, if you're concerned about public perception, you don't have to say "It's a Wiccan handfasting ceremony." Typically just the phrase "family gathering" or "we're getting married" will be sufficient, and both are truthful. Regardless, make sure you have permission to be where you're having your ceremony.



If you hold your handfasting in a public place, be sure to respect the area -- if there are signs that say "no open flames," then don't have a bonfire. If food and beverages are prohibited, then don't have a potluck after the ceremony. Make sure you check into noise and entertainment ordinances as well -- the last thing you want is the police showing up at your handfasting because your drum circle was too loud. Be sure to plan ahead to have a cleanup crew -- designate specific individuals to be in charge of this task, rather than just saying "Hey, can someone pick up the trash?" as you and your new partner leave the site.



If you plan to invite non-Pagan relatives or friends to the ceremony, you should probably prep them in advance. Don't ask them to do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, but do let them know that the ritual has aspects of your spiritual path in it. Depending on just how Pagan your ceremony is going to be, and how your non-Pagan family feels about it, you may should let them know about any non-traditional activities before the ceremony -- and not at the last minute. That way, if great-aunt Matilda feels icky about you calling upon a bunch of gods she's never heard of, she can bow out altogether. It's a good idea to provide seating outside your circle for those who would like to watch but are uncomfortable with actual participation.



Don't use your handfasting as a way of coming out of the broom closet. You need to be able to focus all of your energy on the handfasting itself, and not spend it worrying about what your parents are going to think when they find out you and your beloved are practicing Wicca. Have that conversation well ahead of time. If you have family members or friends who are adamantly opposed to your having a Pagan ceremony, remember, it's your marriage, not theirs. You can either have a non-Pagan ceremony later and invite them to attend, or you can tell them that if they can't attend your handfasting, you understand and you love them anyway

Once your child has been blessed and presented to the household guardians, you still may want to have a ceremony to introduce the new baby to your extended network of friends and family. One way to do this is to have a Naming Ceremony, in which the baby is officially given her name. In some traditions, this is called a “saining”, and in others a “Wiccaning,” but no matter what you call it, it’s the chance to present your baby to the community to which he or she belongs.



Difficulty: Average

Time Required: Varied

Here's How:

Ideally, you should have chosen a name prior to the ceremony. Most states require you to give your baby a name before leaving a hospital, and others mandate that you apply for birth certificates -- which of course requires a name -- within a month of birth. While there’s no official Pagan Procedure Manual for choosing a name, if you want to have a “Pagan Baby Name”, you may want to read about Magical Names.



There are also some great resources for baby names based on different cultural associations here: Alternative Baby Names.



Wait until after the baby’s umbilical cord has dropped off to perform this ceremony. Prior to that time, the baby is still symbolically connected to its mother -- once the cord is gone, the infant can be considered an independent being on her own accord.



The purpose of a naming ceremony is to present the new individual to the community. It ensures that the child is a part of something greater, and places the child under the protection of those present. As part of this, the parents may wish to appoint Guardians for their child. This position is similar to the Christian concept of Godparents. When choosing Guardians, make certain that they understand this is not the same as a legal guardian, but a symbolic position.



Another note of caution: if you’re planning to invite non-Pagans to the ceremony -- which you certainly should, if they’re part of your network of family and friends -- you may want to brief them ahead of time to let them know this is not exactly the same as a Christian baptism. The last thing you want is dear old Aunt Martha fainting because you‘ve invoked spirits of the elements or some god she‘s unfamiliar with.



In this ceremony, the parents take on the role of High Priest and High Priestess. It is their chance to dedicate themselves and bind themselves to their child, and swear an oath to the new baby. It is their opportunity to tell the child that they will protect her, love her, honor her, and raise her to the best of their abilities.



Hold the ritual outside, if weather permits. If that's not an option, find a place big enough for everyone you’ve invited. You may wish to consider renting a hall. Consecrate the entire space beforehand -- you can do this by smudging if you like. Place a sturdy table in the center to use as an altar, and put whatever magical tools you normally use upon it. Also, have on hand a cup of milk, water or wine, and blessing oil.



Invite all the guests to form a circle, filing in sunwise around the altar. If you normally call the quarters, do so now. The Guardians should take a place of honor beside the parents at the altar.



Call upon the gods of your tradition, and ask them to join you in the naming of the child. If the child is a girl, her father or another male family member should lead the ceremony; if the baby is a boy, his mother should preside. The leader says:



We gather today to bless a child,

A new life that has become part of our world.

We gather today to name this child.

To call a thing by name is to give it power,

and so today we shall give this child a gift.

We will welcome her into our hearts and lives

and bless her with a name of her own.





The parents turn to the guests, and say:



To be a parent is to love and nurture,

to lead a child to be a good person.

It is to guide them along the right path

and to both teach them and learn from them.

It is to rein them in, and to give them wings.

It is to smile at their joy, and weep at their pain.

It is to walk beside them, and then one day allow them to walk alone.

To be a parent is a great gift we have given ourselves.

and the greatest responsibility we shall ever have.





The leader (father or mother) should then turn to the appointed Guardians of the child, and ask:



You stand beside us, for the love of this child.

Will you tell the gods who you are?



They should answer:



We are (name) and (name), chosen to be Guardians for this child.



The parent asks:



Do you know what it is to be a child’s Guardian?



The Guardians should answer:



It is to love and nurture,

to show guidance and counsel.

It is to help the child make choices

should she need assistance.

It is to be a second mother and father

and to be there when called upon.





Place the baby on the altar (you can place her in car seat and strap her in if you’re concerned that she might wriggle around). The parent uses the blessing oil to trace a pentagram (or other symbol of your tradition) on the baby’s forehead, saying:



May the gods keep this child pure and perfect,

and let anything that is negative stay far beyond her world.



Touch a drop of milk to the baby’s lips, and say:



May you always have good fortune,

may you always have good health,

may you always be joyful,

and may you always have love in your heart.





The leader then uses the blessing oil to trace the pentagram (or other symbol of your tradition) upon the baby’s chest, saying:



You are known to the gods and to us as (baby’s name).

This is your name, and it is powerful.

Bear your name with honor, and may the gods bless you on this and every day.



The cup of water or wine is passed clockwise around the circle. As each guest takes a sip, they may raise the cup in honor of the baby, saying simply:



I honor you, (baby name).



As the cup goes around the circle, the parents should hold their child and walk together, and presenting him or her to the guests as they honor the child. An alternative to this is to pass the baby from guest to guest, allowing each of them to kiss the child in turn, and offer their good wishes and blessings.



When the cup reaches the Guardians, they should say:



Welcome, (baby name), to our family and to our hearts.

Your parents love you, and we thank them

for giving you the gift of life.

We ask the Gods to watch over you, (baby name),

and over your mother and father,

and we wish your family love and light.





Finally, the parents may hold the baby up to the sky (hold on tight!) so that the Gods can get a good look at the new child. Ask the group to focus on a blessing for the new child, and to hold onto their intent for a moment, sending their love and positive energy to the baby. Take a minute to reflect on what it means to be a parent, and how having this child in your life will change you. When everyone is ready, dismiss the quarters and close the circle in the manner of your tradition.



What You Need:

Friends, family and a baby

A space large enough to hold them all

A sturdy table

Milk

A cup of wine or water

Blessing oil

Holiday Card Exchange





Last year there were several of us that got together and did a holidat card exchange. I thought that was great and I would like to do this again this year.



I have moved since we did it last year as well as a few others.



If you would like to do this again this year, please let me know and I will start getting the list made.

COMMENTS

-

---

imagesinwords
21:55 Nov 04 2010

I want to do this as well. It's that time to start compiling the list... whoever plans to do it.

---

Mystic
23:16 Nov 04 2010

Yes indeed it is, and I will be getting the list together.

---

POST COMMENT

So, tonight was pretty disappointing. Not one single trick or treater. I made cookies.

And I was dressed in my best witches hat.... I made black cat cookies and special trick or treat bags for all the little goblins and we didn't get a single one, last night or tonight. I guess dpwn here they do things differently then they did in NY.



I had fun decorating, here are some pics from



Halloween 2010

COMMENTS

-

---

TheFallenAngel
10:14 Nov 01 2010

awwww pretty

---

POST COMMENT