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I had such an awesome dream last night, it feels like a gift from my subconscious. My brain was like "Damn girl, you need to lighten up." so I dreamed about finding and rescuing puppies and their mamas and as an extra treat my brain let me fly. I haven't had flying dreams in years and it was such a happy surprise that I became lucid for a moment. Some connection was formed in the back of my mind about the emotions and sensations tied to flying and why it works the way it does in my dreams. I woke up within a dream, just conscious enough to feel the wind and make peace with the lurch in my stomach.

Stress has been like white noise lately so to wake up with it quieter feels like an absence of something. I know the feeling from this dream is temporary and so I want to cling to it and stay there but that's not possible. It's time to be awake and feel and do.
I really appreciate my husband because when life feels this way we put a greater emphasis on our connection, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Intimacy, really, and not just in the bedroom but in all things, like savoring the cup of coffee he poured for me, slowing down and touching each other more often, working out a knot in his back, and just having a good belly aching laugh together.

This connection is a bulwark against the cruelty and insanity of what is happening in the US and currently feels like an act of rebellion especially given that we are and will remain childless. I feel more grounded and sturdy because of it. Intimacy and connection builds roots and with them we reach deep down to hold on, hold on so you can twist and bend and sway but not break.

I wonder if true peace isn't the absence of conflict or problems but the deliberate practice of acts and thoughts that place our feet firmly on the ground of whatever terrain we find ourselves.

Whatever it may be, I'm really grateful to experience a bit of it.