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Top 10 Weird Hobbies of Famous Entrepreneurs Some successful entrepreneurs spend their money in ways that, let's face it, are a little on the weird side. BY GEOFFREY JAMES Contributing editor, Inc.com@Sales_Source
00:48 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,807




Successful entrepreneurs naturally have plenty of money to spend and, not surprisingly, they often spend it indulging their personal interests.



Most of the time, those interests are mainstream like yacht racing (Steve Ellison, Richard Branson, Ted Turner) or owning a major league sports team (Steve Ballmer, Paul Allen).



However, there are a few entrepreneurs whose hobbies seem just a little bit weird:



1. Elon Musk

The founder of Tesla Motors collects James Bond memorabilia. He owns the Lotus Esprit from the 1977 James Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me, which he's said to be converting into a car-submarine like in the (eminently forgettable) film.



2. Warren Buffett

The famous financier plays, teaches and proselytizes the virtues of the ukulele. Several of his instruments have become collector's items. A ukulele autographed by Buffett once sold over $11,000.



3. Bill Gates

You might think the Microsoft founder would be all about being online, but instead he collects rare books. Gates once paid $30.8 million for a single manuscript, the Codex Leicester, which contains essays by Leonardo da Vinci.



4. Thomas Edison

The famous inventor was a follower of fad diets or (as his wife characterized them) "correct eating." At one point, the only liquid Edison would consume were pints of milk at three hour intervals.



5. Henry Ford

The automobile magnate collected and restored historic buildings in the hopes of transforming the towns of Sudbury, Massachusetts and Greenfield Village, Michigan into tourist attractions that would celebrate early America.



6. Walt Disney

Not surprisingly to anybody who's visited Disneyland, Walt Disney had a particular affection for model trains. In addition to those in his parks, Disney had a huge model train setup in his office and a miniature steam train in his backyard.



7. Bob Parsons

The Godaddy founder is an avid hunter of big game. In 2011, a video of the Godaddy CEO killing an elephant surfaced, resulting in widespread criticism. He somewhat lamely attempted to position the kill as a humanitarian act.



8. Nicola Tesla

The inventor of the radio, robotics and alternating current was also an avid pigeon-fancier. He fed wild pigeons from his bedroom window and when too bedridden to continue, he hired somebody to feed the pigeons for him.



9. Thomas J. Watson

The IBM founder was big supporter of the Boy Scouts. He liked putting on a custom-tailored Boy Scout uniform and sitting around the campfire "chewing the fat" with scout leaders and regular boy scouts.



10. Mark Zuckerberg

Zuckerberg kills and eats his own food. His "soup to nuts" treatment of his carnivorousness has included a lobster, a chicken, a pig and at least one goat. Characteristically, he's posted his kills on his Facebook page.

10 Celebrity Hobbies That Might Surprise You By Carl Pettit May 16, 2012 11:15 AM
00:46 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,809






Sometimes we think our favorite celebrities only exist on this planet for our own amusement. In fact, many of them do have lives away from the limelight. When they’re not acting, singing, dancing or just being fabulously rich and famous, some of your favorite stars take part in some pretty interesting extracurricular activities. Here are some celebrity hobbies that just might surprise you.



1

Tom Hanks collects typewriters





Yes, Tom Hanks is a fan of typewriters. No, he doesn’t hoard computer keyboards, but vintage, manual typewriters. You know, the kind of devices your grandparents once used to write letters back in the day, before computers were around. Most of the typewriters Hanks has are still in working condition. Tom often takes one or two of them with him when he hits the road for work.





Michael Buckner, Getty Images

Michael Buckner, Getty Images

2

Leonardo DiCaprio geeks out over action figures





Mr. DiCaprio has a great love of tiny plastic action figures. Considering the amount of money his films have made, he might become an action figure himself one day. His collection includes 'Star Wars' and 'He-Man' action figures, as well as other vintage toys. From time to time he puts some of them up for auction, in case you’re an avid collector yourself and want to own Leo's Tauntaun. (That doesn't sound right…)





Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

3

Will Smith and Tom Cruise practice fencing





Like a modern-day Errol Flynn, Will Smith is a huge fan of swordplay. The Hollywood actor took up fencing when his good friend Tom Cruise (maybe you’ve heard of him) introduced him to the sport. David Beckham has also gotten into the act. When time allows, the three men get together and fence in a practice room at Tom’s house.





Chung Sung-Jun, Getty Images

Chung Sung-Jun, Getty Images

4

Tiger Woods goes spearfishing





The last few years have been turbulent ones for Tiger Woods. How does a world famous golf pro relax in his free time and get away from it all? Why, he goes spearfishing, of course. If his aim with a spear is as good as his aim with a golf club, then whatever fish he happens to set his sights on doesn’t stand a chance.





Streeter Lecka, Getty Images

Streeter Lecka, Getty Images

5

Johnny Depp plays with Barbie dolls





Apparently the star of almost every Tim Burton film ever made likes to play with Barbie dolls. You might be wondering why a grown man would spend his time dressing up Barbie and helping her get ready for her dream date with Ken. It all kind of makes sense when you realize that Mr. Depp picked up the habit while playing with his kids. Maybe Ken gets a Captain Jack Sparrow voice to make him sound like less of a stiff.





Jason Merritt, Getty Images

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

6

Angelina Jolie has a dagger collection





Angelina Jolie has demonstrated a fair number of quirks in her day (tattoos, blood vial necklaces), but motherhood has seemed to settle her down a little. Yet some of her wild flair still comes through with her collection of vintage and decorative knives. Her son Maddox even has a few, but apparently the blades on his daggers are dulled down. Every mother knows safety comes first.





Ethan Miller, Getty Images

Ethan Miller, Getty Images

7

Taylor Swift makes Christmas snow globes





When Taylor Swift isn’t out on tour, writing songs, or winning Grammys and CMA awards, she keeps her hands busy with crafts. The young country superstar has begun to make Christmas snow globes with her friends. The globes are built with jars, and feature Christmas Trees and angels inside. Perhaps she’ll write a song about her new hobby.





Jason Merritt, Getty Images

Jason Merritt, Getty Images

8

Ricky Gervais paints landscapes





Ricky Gervais is famous for his no-holds-barred sense of humor and his perfect comedic timing. When not out courting controversy, this British comedian likes to relax at home and paint landscapes and cityscapes. He is a big fan of art, and art history in general. Painting is merely a logical extension of his passions.





Handout, Getty Images

Handout, Getty Images

9

Ben Stiller is a ‘Trekkie’





Ben Stiller adores everything to do with 'Star Trek.' He has stated that he was a “Trekkie” since he was a child, and that he still is a fan of the Starship Enterprise gang today. His favorite character was Captain Kirk, who he thought was exceedingly cool. Stiller is also a great fan of the science fiction franchise’s humor and humanity. Maybe one day he’ll get to play a character in a 'Star Trek' movie, and become the envy of all of those Trekkies out there aspiring to such glory. Are you listening, J.J. Abrams? Time to cast Stiller as a wise-cracking Ferengi.





Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

10

Quentin Tarantino nerds out over vintage board games





Quentin Tarantino is known for his peculiar sense of humor, and his fast pace delivery forbidden. For those of you who appreciate his eccentricities, you won’t be disappointed by this famous director’s board game collection. Quentin is very fond of vintage board games that relate to old television shows. There doesn’t seem to be a ton of people out there into this odd hobby. If you happen to be one those people, you can now count yourself in excellent, if rare, company.

Top 10 Weird Hobbies of the Rich & Famous Posted by Aniesha Brahma November 17, 2012
00:45 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,810




Once in a while all of us need some kind of recreation. Most of us stick to arts and crafts, reading books, or listening to music. However, when someone is a celebrity, the pressures for them to seem ‘normal’ are high. Nevertheless we bring to you a list of 10 celebrities who indulge in weird or unconventional hobbies.

Johnny Deep Barbie Doll 1. Johnny Depp and his love for Barbie Dolls:

Johnny Depp had admitted to collecting and playing with Barbie dolls. He did say he was doing that for his kids, however. We wonder if he's bought his own Barbie version to add to his collection though! Also, his recent hobbies include buying pigeons, which still doesn't leave the 'weird' category when it comes to hobbies.

Tree Climber 2. Simon Cowell’s Love for Climbing Trees:

Former American Idol judge, Simon Cowell, has reported claimed that climbing trees is his favorite hobby. This takes recreation into a whole new level.

Leonard DiCaprio 3. Leonardo DiCaprio – Collector of Action Figures:

The man, who shot to worldwide popularity playing Jack Dawson from Titanic, is a huge fan of the action figures. His hobby is collecting them.

Kirsten Stewart 4. Kirsten Stewart’s hobby is Juggling:

The Twilight-star has decidedly thought that juggling is one of the best hobbies to have. Too bad she doesn’t realize we associate juggling with the circus, normally.

5. Angelina Jolie: Collects Knives and Watches People:

She was a secret agent in Mr.& Mrs. Smith, but that doesn’t foster her love for collecting knives. We have also come to know that before her celebrity days, Jolie would often board a train, and simply sit and watch people. Scared, yet?

Taylor Swift 6. Taylor Swift: Snow Globe Maker:

This eminent country singer who shot to fame with her Love Story loves to make snow globes. We wouldn’t exactly call her hobby weird. But nonetheless, it is strange.

Tom Hanks 7. Tom Hanks and the Typewriter:

There’s a reason why Tom Hanks likes looking to old shops selling antiques. He’s looking for the typewriters from 1940s. He believes that is his way of keeping pieces of the world with him. We say, it makes it to the weird list.

Nicolas Cage 8. Nicolas Cage ~ Comic Collector:

Joining the bandwagons of DiCaprio and Depp, Nicolas Cage proves to have a hobby of collecting comics. Not something we would normally expect from a Hollywood hero.

David Arquette 9. David Arquette and Knitting:

He probably makes it to all the lists of the top 10 weird hobbies of the rich and famous. Man and knitting is an unheard of combination. We hear he even knitted a scarf for his ex-wife, Courtney Cox.

Claudia Schiffer10. Claudia Schiffer and the Creepy Crawlies:

She has perhaps left everyone else stunned revealing her love for collecting the creepy crawlies, no one wants near them. If this hobby isn’t weird, we wonder what is!

6 Shockingly Weird Hobbies...
00:41 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,811

We all have leisure activities we enjoy engaging in. But some people have exceptionally weird hobbies that are not only crazy, but also very dangerous. In this post, we will cover 6 hobbies that one or more people have engaged in. You may find some of them to be ridiculous and pointless.



People will often use their spare time to do the most insane things imaginable. From spending your day on a bunch of worthless websites to dressing up as a clown to terrorize people, you will definitely get a taste of another breed of humanity. Let’s get started with our first strange hobby.



6 Hobbies That Will Make You Go Hmmm…



confused face



#1 Dressing Up As Clowns Just To Terrorize People



Weird Hobbies

“Clowns Clouds blahblah” by Egorchetvernin is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0



Most children and even some adults have a phobia of clowns. According to a study that was performed by a team of researchers at the University of Sheffield on 250 children (ages 4-16), all said they had a dislike or phobia of clowns. So, obviously clowns in general are scary for many.



In October of 2014, there were reports that residents in a small California city near Bakersfield were being terrorized by people that were dressed up as clowns. It doesn’t stop here. Reports state that some of the clowns had baseball bats and even machetes. Talk about scary. Clowns can be frightening for many, but with weapons that can potentially cause a fatality, it is even scarier.



In just one week, there were 20 sightings of these clowns. They were said to show up outside landmarks. Out of the 20, only one was arrested. The clowns chose a ridiculous hobby that can not only harm others, but can also put their own lives at risk. Are the fun and games really worth it?



#2 Handcuff Collecting



black handcuffs A man by the name of Joseph W. Lauher is known for having the largest collection of handcuffs in the world. His unusual collection includes leg irons, nippers, thumbcuffs and even vintage cuffs (some are from the 1800s). Lauher’s shows off his handcuffs on his website called Handcuffs.org. So, if you are interested in starting a new hobby of collecting handcuffs, contact Mr. Joseph Laurer.



#3 Suing People



Wisconsin Supreme Court



A man by the name of Jonathan Lee Riches is known for his many lawsuits filed in a variety of U.S. district courts. He is a former federal prisoner and since January 8, 2006, he chose to file over 2,600 lawsuits. You can definitely say Mr. Riches does virtually anything to get rich. Oddly, this character has gotten a lot of attention for some of his lawsuits. Some of his famous lawsuits involved defendants such as New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, former U.S. President George W. Bush, Martha Stewart and NASCAR Spears. Wow! What a sad way to spend your leisure time.



Riches was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for the world’s most litigious man. So you think he was excited to own this insanely ridiculous world record? No. This didn’t make Mr. Riches at all happy. So what did he do about Guinness World Records? You can probably guess that he sued them. He filed for an injunction against them. Riches wanted to stop them from naming him as the most litigious person in the history of mankind. Many of Riche’s lawsuits were dismissed as being laughable, malicious and a failure to state a claim upon which relief could be granted.



#4 Facebook Stalking



Facebook StalkingAccording to The Washington Post, almost as many people use Facebook as live in the entire country of China. As of September 30, 2014, the website stated that its monthly active users had cleared a whopping 1.35 billion. The numbers show that almost 20 percent of the world will log into their Facebook account at least once a month. Too bad some people use it for the wrong reason.



Many people will often use Facebook for the purpose of stalking. They intentionally make it a hobby to log into their accounts just to stalk people. Luckily, in many states, stocking is a crime. But laws doesn’t stop everyone. Some folks will be extremely nosy by browsing through profiles of people they don’t even know. They will follow their timeline everyday, try to message them with SPAM and say offensive comments. Why harass people that are minding their own business?



This hobby is insane and can potentially get you in trouble. Instead of spending all those hours stalking others, these people may want to consider doing something more productive with their time. What has happened to privacy? You create a Facebook account to socialize with friends and family, but instead you get nosy people trying to search through your account activity, including your pictures. You will even get bullies who want to use the website just to intimidate others.



#5 Spending Time On Useless Websites



spending time on worthless sitesWith over half a billion websites online, you are bound to find a plethora that are odd and useless. Sadly, people will spend their free time browsing through websites with no value whatsoever. In our previously post called 15 Weird Websites, we shared a list of fifteen odd and useless sites.



One site called Omglasergunspewpewpew.com, was nothing but a squirrel geared up with a little laser gun. So what can you do with this squirrel? You get to shoot your laser gun at nothing at all. Amazingly, the site gets visitors that spend time on it. They would probably have a much better time playing real video games on a PlayStation 4. Another site called Nooooooooooooooo.com, is nothing but a big blue button that says “Noooooooooooo” when you push it. The site is meant for visitors who are in dire situations. Both of these sites get steady visitors on Google. Of course, there are plenty more useless sites out there. It is bizarre what some people do with their time.



#6 Nail Growing





A woman by the name of Lee Redmond currently owns the Guinness Book of World Records for “the longest fingernails ever.” Redmond began her journey of growing exceedingly long nails in 1979. Her fingernails reached a total length of 24 ft 7.8 in. Of course, most of us think that anyone who chooses to grow their nails this long, are totally gross and crazy. But to Lee Redmond, they are not.



Due to an auto accident in early 2009, Redmond’s nails were broken off. She was ejected from a car. Although she had very serious injuries, she fortunately survived. Good thing the loss of Redmond’s nails did have one important benefit. A Huffington Post story in late 2009 mentioned that life had gotten easier for her. She is now able to do things much easier than before. Plus, the weight of her hands is much lighter. So do you think she wants to start her nail growing hobby all over again? Redmond claims she will not grow her nails out ever again (although her nails are still four-inches long). Why? She won’t grow them back because of the fact that it took 30 years the first time around, and she probably won’t live another 30 years to beat or even meet her world record.



Who Holds The Record For Longest Fingernails Ever Reached On A Single Hand?



Shridhar Chillal is the current world record holder. On a single hand, the measurement was a whopping 20 feet 2.25 inches. His longest nail is 4.25 feet. Chillal grew his nails out from 1952-2000. After nearly 50 years of growing his nails out, he felt he had to cut them off. The heavy weight caused more and more difficulties. His left fingers became disfigured and virtually useless. Chillal even dealt with nerve damage that was caused by the heavy weight of the nails. This had caused him to permanently be deaf in his left ear because he grew his fingernails on his left hand.





Chillal was looking to put his fingernails up for sale. How much? He wants to sell them for $200,000.

10 Weirdest Hobbies... Meant to amuse, not to partake...
00:39 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,812

We all have our own special, unique hobbies, things we like to do in our spare time. Some of them, however, are stranger than others. Samurai sword collecting, racing animals, and making art out of odd materials are all hobbies that some people practice. Sometimes it’s a good idea when filing out an application or writing your resume, to leave off any strange or unusual hobbies you might enjoy. Telling the world you like to play dead isn’t the best way to make yourself look good to a potential employer. Here are ten of the oddest hobbies that are actually practiced somewhere in the world by someone at any given time.







1. PLAYING DEAD

Playing Dead

Don’t laugh – someone actually does this, and calls it a hobby. His name is Chuck Lamb. Since 2005, he’s been playing dead. More than that, he’s been taking photos and videos of himself playing dead and posting them to his website. Lamb claims he’s always wanted to play a dead guy in a television program or movie. This father of six with no acting experience is not particularly handsome, yet his website has received over 40 million hits. He’s still campaigning through that site to be able to play a dead guy on TV, but so far he’s been unsuccessful.



2. COSPLAY

Cosplay

No, not the band Coldplay, this is Cosplay, or playing while wearing a costume. It originated in Japan (home of many strange and odd fetishes) in the 1990s. In Cosplay, a person recreates a costume of a favorite character and role-plays that he or she is that person, using their positioning, attitude, even forbidden of voice. Costumes used have been from characters of animation, video games, comics, even television and the movies. It’s basically grown-ups dressed in costume playing like kids, but they gave it a fancy name so as not to look so moronic (sorry guys, didn’t work). There is even a World Cosplay Summit held yearly in, where else, Japan, for all of these Cosplayers.



3. DUCT TAPE ART

Duct Tape Art

Some people, like 17 year old Melody Williams, like to use duct tape to create works of art, clothing, shoes, and more. While this might be handy if you’re short on wearing apparel and happen to have a roll of duct tape lying around the house, Williams cautions that there are some drawbacks. “It’s sticky,” she says. “When I was making my skirt, I had a lot of problems with it sticking to itself in places it wasn’t supposed to.” Williams has even written a song about her duct tape hobby, posted at a website. Seems like the tape being sticky might be the least of this young girl’s problems.



4. EXTREME IRONING

Extreme Ironing

There are extreme sports of all kinds, so a knitwear factory worker in the United Kingdom wondered, why not ironing? Phil Shaw thus invented extreme ironing, involving ironing in extreme outdoor locations. He’s done it on top of a snow-covered mountain, under water, in the desert … anywhere he can set up his ironing board. Unless the iron is battery operated, however, wouldn’t he need an electrical outlet as well? Shaw says it takes stamina, athletic prowess and finesse to be able to iron properly under such extreme conditions. I’ll take his word for it, as ironing is something I haven’t done since 1997.



5. FORK BENDING

Fork Bending

People exist who claim that they can bend cutlery with their minds, and swear that they’re not kooks. They even have their own website where they explain in step-by-step format how to bend a fork using only your mind’s energy (well, of course, they do add their hands). It seems if one concentrates his mind on bending the fork, then give just a little physical effort with his hands, the fork goes soft and bends easily. This doesn’t seem as far-fetched, actually, as those who say they can only use their minds to do it, but it’s still a very odd hobby.







6. FINGERNAIL AND/OR TOENAIL COLLECTION

Fingernail and or Toenail Collection

This is just gross. There are actually people who collect fingernails and toenails (hopefully their own) and display them as a hobby. Will Chatham, who has started a website devoted to his collection started collecting nails in 1983 and hasn’t stopped. He has filmed a You Tube video about his hobby and published photos on the Internet of his finger and toenails, of him putting them in his mouth, in his beard… you get the idea. Warning: don’t visit his website or watch his video if you’re feeling the least bit sick to your stomach.



7. CONDOM COLLECTION

Condom Collection

As in number 7, this too is not an appealing idea to most. Depending upon whether or not the condoms are used, that is. Someone has posted a video on YouTube of their (unused) condom collection but there have also been purported cases of people collecting used condoms – and not just ones they’ve used themselves, either. There’s a company in China that makes hair bands from used condoms (of course, there are companies in China that make anything and everything out of anything and everything). Not the most attractive thing to put in your hair.



8. BEDHEAD DOCUMENTATION

Bedhead Documentation

Japanese designer Negse actually calls documenting his bed head each morning a hobby. He’s been taking photos of his hair upon awakening for the past nine years and displaying the results at his website. Negse says he likes to wash his hair and go to bed with it wet to produce the best bed head each morning.



9. CRAYON CARVING

Crayon Carving

Believe it or not, there are actually people who create sculptures and artwork from crayons. Most people use their fingernails to carve the crayon into interesting shapes. Whomever came up with this one must have been really bored.



10. EATING INANIMATE OBJECTS

Eating Inanimate Objects

Whether this is a hobby or a mind sickness remains to be seen, but some people actually make a practice out of intentionally eating inanimate objects. However, this is a hobby that can kill you if taken too far.

Health Benefits of Aquarium Fish
00:35 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,813

Do you have a stressful life, high blood pressure, insomnia? Keeping an aquarium may be good therapy for you. Studies going back as far as the late 80’s have shown that gazing at aquarium fish reduces stress and subsequently lowers blood pressure.



Fish Make a Difference



Researchers have compared the effects of hypnosis vs. an aquarium, fishless vs. fish filled aquariums, and no aquarium vs.

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having an aquarium. In all cases, having some sort of aquarium reduced blood pressure. Interestingly enough, greater reduction in blood pressure occurred when there were fish in the tank, vs pleasingly decorated, but fishless, tanks. Even watching a video tape of fish has been proven to have therapeutic effects.





Multitude of Benefits



Seniors who were provided with an aquarium filled with fish had significant blood pressure reduction. Watching fish has been shown to calm children who suffer from hyperactivity disorder. Dental patients who were subjected to hypnosis vs. an aquarium experienced the same or greater benefit from the aquarium. Other studies have shown that dental patients required less pain medication after having watched fish in the office. It's little wonder that physician offices, dental clinics, and even waiting rooms for counselors have traditionally kept an aquarium in the waiting room.



Aquarium Effect on Alzheimer’s



Studies have shown that seniors who have Alzheimer’s experience a variety of health benefits from watching an aquarium.

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Alzheimer patients ate more, and required fewer supplements after an aquarium was placed in the dining room. They also exhibited less physically aggressive behaviors.



Fish Fish Anywhere



Virtually any aquarium, from large to small, will have a benefit. A large aquarium is great, but if space is limited, a mini-aquarium will do. Seniors and students can usually find a place for an Eclipse forbidden system. If it’s not possible to keep an aquarium, consider a video or DVD of aquarium fish. DVD players have reached rock bottom prices, and a video requires zero maintenance. Remember that many computers have DVD players these days. What better way to spend your lunch break than gazing at fish? Take advantage of the stress-relieving benefits of aquarium fish whenever, and wherever you can!

Aquariums Reduce Stress... Believe it or not, aquariums reduce stress and offer other health benefits that are undeniably real.
00:34 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,815

Studies have shown that aquariums have a profound ability to lower blood pressure, calm the mind, and help to alleviate anxiety. They also help to create a relaxing, soothing environment just about anywhere you put them. It's no wonder that aquariums are often used in the waiting rooms of doctors, dentists, specialists, child care centers, restaurants and spas. They have the power to keep us entertained and mesmerized for long periods of time. It has been said that aquariums have a hypnotic effects and when people are subjected to them prior to having medical procedures done, most end up needing less pain medication to get the job done.



Not only do aquariums prove to be visually hypnotic, they can be set up so they provide the calming sounds of running water which can completely add to the relaxing effect they already have.



Aquariums are very beneficial to:



those suffering with insomnia

those suffering with high blood pressure

those suffering with stress & anxiety

those suffering from tension

children with behavioral/psychological problems

the elderly

those suffering from chronic illness

crying infants, including those suffering with colic & separation anxiety

Plan Ahead for Success!

If you are looking for a stress management activity, you might consider maintaining an aquarium at home or in your work place. Many people maintain aquariums as a stress management hobby. Of course whenever you are learning about something new there is always a certain amount of stress getting started. But just like anything else, the more you learn and the more you practice getting things right, the easier it becomes.



If you are considering maintaining an aquarium as a hobby, be sure to educate yourself beforehand. By doing a little investigative work, you can plan to succeed and reap all the benefits an aquarium will bring.



In order to get started, consider asking yourself the following questions...



What kind of aquarium would I prefer, fresh water or salt water?

What size aquarium would be best?

Aquariums come in all sizes and set ups. They range from small fish bowls to big tanks to indoor/outdoor open manmade ponds. With so many options and choices available for aquarium accessories, you can pretty much create whatever you can envision.



However, if you are new to aquariums and would like to try it out without investing too much money, they make some excellent aquarium kits for beginners. Although they are usually smaller and made of acrylic instead of real glass, they are a great investment for the beginner because they come with much of what you will need to get started.



The Marineland Eclipse Seamless Integrated Aquarium System comes in 12, 5 and 3 gallon sizes.



Aquariums Around the World

Aquariums attract people from all over the world. Below is a clip of the Ocean Voyager exhibit at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta. It is a six million gallon saltwater tank that is the second largest viewing window in the world at 23 feet tall by 61 feet wide and 2 feet thick. The exhibit houses four whale sharks, hammerhead sharks, manta rays, and many other amazing fish. It truly is a sight to behold in person. Enjoy!

Watching Fish is Found to Ease Human Stress...
00:31 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,817




Fish may be beneficial to your health. Not just eating them, but watching them.

Three University of Pennsylvania researchers report that quietly watching fish swimming in a home aquarium eases stress, and may offer a means of treating high blood pressure.



The fish are the key, the researchers say. People who watch fish tanks with bubbles, pebbles and plants - but no fish - don't benefit nearly as much.



"There is a sharp difference," says ecologist Alan Beck, director of the university's Center for the Interaction of Animals and Society. "Blood pressure drops with fishless fish tanks, but it doesn't drop as much and it creeps back up faster. With fish in the tanks, you truly get relaxation."



Lowered blood pressure is one way to measure reduced stress. A number of ailments have been associated with high stress in daily life, including heart attacks, sleep disorders and some ulcers.



Petting a dog or cat is a known stress-reducer. One study showed that survivors of heart attacks tended to live longer if they owned a dog.



Beck, psychiatrist Aaron H. Katcher and biologist Erika Friedmann decided to see if interaction with other animals produced similar results. They selected fish because they are such common pets. The Pet Information Bureau, sponsored by pet products companies, estimates that more than 10 million American homes have aquariums.



The researchers divided 100 paid volunteers into two groups. One at a time, they were put in a room and asked to read aloud - a proven way to induce stress - for one minute.



Then they were left alone with a fish tank for 20 minutes. Half the time there were fish in the aquarium; half the time there were none. A device automatically recorded the volunteers' blood pressure. Those who had fish to watch fared far better.



The random selection of volunteers resulted in the participation of some who suffered from high blood pressure. "For them, the fish were much better than for a normal person, " Beck says.



The Pennsylvania findings are part of a $12,000 project privately funded by the pet products industry.



WAITING ROOM FROM HELL



Do you sit on a cheap orange vinyl couch in your doctor's waiting room thumbing morosely through a two-year-old travel and leisure magazine? Is the philodendron dying?



If so, you probably won't follow your doctor's advice, says Dr. Marvin Stone, a psychiatrist at the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston. "If people have a negative vibration toward someone who's giving them advice, "he says, "they won't accept the advice."



Stone has been cataloging common decoration faux pas among physicians: tattered, out of date periodicals; dying plants; and ambience suggestive of a Greyhound bus terminal. "Mismatched furniture," he observes, "is almost universal and that furniture is as critical as what the doctor says."



Stone suggests enhancing waiting rooms with plants, fish tanks and art. --G. Bear, Omni Magazine



WATCHING FISH CALMS PATIENTS



When I used to take my seven children to the pediatrician on Long Island, I didn't realize that his huge fish tanks, which kept them fascinated during the wait for his attention, were and early example of what now carries the imposing name of "pet-facilitated therapy" (PFT).



I later had occasion to visit a psychiatrist (perhaps it was the seven kids who sent me there) and discovered that he, too, had a huge fish tank in his waiting room. At 75 bucks a shot, I suppose patients deserved a few amenities.



Now, New York's Animal Medical Center has added a new facet to its PFT program. The New York Aquarium has donated a big fish tank to the Florence Nightingale Nursing Home, where 500 residents are said to find them absorbing.



According to Animal Medical Center scientists, recent studies have determined that watching fish calms people. Researcher Edith McBean will evaluate the effect of the fish on the older people during weekly visits to the home.



McBean cites a University of Pennsylvania study of 100 volunteers who were divided into two sections. Each group of 50 was put into a separate room, and then each person was asked to read aloud for one minute to produce stress.



Each group was then left alone with a fish tank for 20 minutes - one with an empty tank, the other with a full tank. The blood pressure of the volunteers watching fish dropped more than that of those who watched the empty tank.

Pets for Depression and Health Can your depression problems improve when you interact with your pet? By Kathleen Doheny WebMD Feature Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD
00:29 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,818






Could a kitten's purr or a dog's wagging tail help with your depression? It might.



"Pets offer an unconditional love that can be very helpful to people with depression," says Ian Cook, MD, a psychiatrist and director of the Depression Research and Clinic Program at UCLA.



Studies show that animals can reduce tension and improve mood. Along with treatment, pets can help some people with mild to moderate depression feel better. If you're depressed, here's a rundown of how pets could help.



Uncomplicated love. Are your relationships with family and loved ones complicated and frayed? A pet can be a great antidote. "With a pet, you can just feel," says Teri Wright, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in Santa Ana, Calif. "You don't have to worry about hurting your pet's feelings or getting advice you don't want."

Responsibility. You might not think you can take care of a pet right now. Taking care of yourself may seem hard enough. But experts say that adding a little responsibility can help. It adds a new and positive focus to your life. "Taking care of a pet can help give you a sense of your own value and importance," Cook says. It will remind you that you are capable -- that you can do more than you might think.

Activity. Are you barely getting off the couch these days? You need to get more physical activity. Pets can help. "If you have a dog, that dog needs to be walked," Cook says. A little extra physical activity is good for your physical and mental health.

Routine. Having a daily schedule helps people with depression. An animal's natural routine -- waking you in the morning, demanding food or walks -- can help you stay on track.

Companionship. Depression can isolate you. It can make you pull back from your friends and loved ones. If you have a pet, you're never alone. That can really make a difference.

Social interaction. Having a pet can gently push you to get more social contact. You might chat with others while walking your dog at the park or waiting at the vet. Pets are natural icebreakers, and other pet owners love to talk about their animals.

Touch. Studies show that people feel better when they have physical contact with others. Pets offer something similar. There's something naturally soothing about petting a cat on your lap. Studies have shown that petting a dog can lower your heart rate, too.

Better health. Research has found that owning a dog can lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones, and boost levels of feel-good chemicals in the brain. One study of Chinese women found that dog owners exercised more often, slept better, reported better fitness levels and fewer sick days, and saw their doctors less often than people without dogs.

The Drawbacks of Getting a Pet for Depression

Pets aren't for everyone with depression, Wright says. If you're depressed, think carefully before getting a pet. If you have a loved one with depression, don't assume that surprising him or her with a kitten will help. It could make things worse. Here are four things to ask yourself before getting a pet to help ease depression.



Are you comfortable with animals? A lot of people helped by pets had them as children. They're used to having an animal as a source of comfort. If you've never had a pet, it may be less likely to help now.

Will having a pet make you worry? Dwelling on death is a common sign of depression. If getting a pet just means that you'll worry constantly about it dying, that won't help, Wright says.

Is your depression too intense right now? "Taking care of a pet is not unlike taking care of a small child," Wright says. "If your depression is so severe that you can't take care of an animal, it's not a good idea to get one."

Can you afford a pet? Caring for pets can be expensive. The ASPCA estimates that in the first year, a cat can cost more than $1,000 and a dog up to almost $1,850.

Even if getting a cat or dog isn't wise right now, other animals could help. Birds can be surprisingly affectionate and cost only $270 a year in care. While you may not want to snuggle with a fish or a turtle, caring for them could also improve your mood. It creates responsibility and a new focus. Studies have shown that watching fish can lower your pulse and ease muscle tension too.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/pets-depression

The Health Benefits of Dogs (and Cats) How Caring for Pets can Help You Deal with Depression, Anxiety, and Stress
00:27 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,819

The Health Benefits of Pets

If you've ever owned a pet, you already know how much fun and affection they can bring. But did you know that pets also come with some pretty powerful mental and physical health benefits? Dogs in particular can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, ease loneliness, encourage exercise and playfulness, and even improve your cardiovascular health. Caring for a dog can help children grow up more secure and active or provide valuable companionship for older adults. Perhaps most importantly, though, a dog can add real joy and unconditional love to your life.



How do dogs improve mood and health?



More than any other animal, dogs have evolved to become acutely attuned to humans and our behavior and emotions. While dogs are able to understand many of the words we use, they’re even better at interpreting our tone of voice, body language, and gestures. And like any good human friend, a loyal dog will look into your eyes to gauge your emotional state and try to understand what you’re thinking and feeling (and to work out when the next walk or treat might be coming, of course).



While most dog owners are clear about the immediate joys that come with sharing their lives with canine companions, many remain unaware of the physical and mental health benefits that can also accompany the pleasure of playing with or snuggling up to a furry friend. It’s only recently that studies have begun to scientifically explore the benefits of the human-animal bond. The American Heart Association has linked the ownership of pets, especially dogs, with a reduced risk for heart disease and greater longevity.



Studies have also found that:



Dog owners are less likely to suffer from depression than those without pets.

People with dogs have lower blood pressure in stressful situations than those without pets. One study even found that when people with borderline hypertension adopted dogs from a shelter, their blood pressure declined significantly within five months.

Playing with a dog or cat can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine, which calm and relax.

Pet owners have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels (indicators of heart disease) than those without pets.

Heart attack patients with dogs survive longer than those without.

Pet owners over age 65 make 30 percent fewer visits to their doctors than those without pets.

One of the reasons for these therapeutic effects is that dogs (and cats) fulfill the basic human need to touch. Even hardened criminals in prison have shown long-term changes in their behavior after interacting with dogs, many of them experiencing mutual affection for the first time. Stroking, hugging, or otherwise touching a loving animal can rapidly calm and soothe us when we’re stressed or anxious. The companionship of a pet can also ease loneliness, and most dogs are a great stimulus for healthy exercise, which can substantially boost your mood and ease depression.



How can dogs help you make healthy lifeforbidden changes?



Adopting healthy lifeforbidden changes plays an important role in easing symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. Caring for a dog can help you make healthy lifeforbidden changes by:



Increasing exercise. Taking a dog for a walk, hike, or run are fun and rewarding ways to fit healthy daily exercise into your schedule. Studies have shown that dog owners are far more likely to meet their daily exercise requirements—and exercising every day is great for the animal as well. It will deepen the connection between you, eradicate most behavior problems in dogs, and keep your pet fit and healthy.

Providing companionship. Companionship can help prevent illness and even add years to your life, while isolation and loneliness can trigger symptoms of depression. Caring for a living animal can help make you feel needed and wanted, and take the focus away from your problems, especially if you live alone. Most dog and cat owners talk to their pets, some even use them to work through their troubles. And nothing beats loneliness like coming home to a wagging tail and wet kisses.

Helping you meet new people. Dogs can be a great social lubricant for their owners, helping you start and maintain new friendships. Dog owners frequently stop and talk to each other on walks, hikes, or in a dog park. Dog owners also meet new people in pet stores, clubs, and training classes.

Reducing anxiety. The companionship of a dog can offer comfort, help ease anxiety, and build self-confidence for people anxious about going out into the world. Because dogs live in the moment—they don’t worry about what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow—they can help you become more mindful and appreciate the joy of the present.

Adding structure and routine to your day. Dogs require a regular feeding and exercise schedule. Having a consistent routine keeps a dog balanced and calm—and it can work for you, too. No matter your mood—depressed, anxious, or stressed—one plaintive look from your dog and you’ll have to get out of bed to feed, exercise, and care for your pet.

Providing sensory stress relief. Touch and movement are two healthy ways to quickly manage stress. Stroking a dog lowers blood pressure and can help you quickly feel calmer and less stressed.

Get a dog, lose weight

Numerous studies have linked dog ownership to weight loss:



One year-long study found that walking an overweight dog helped both the animals and their owners lose weight. Researchers found that the dogs provided support in similar ways to a human exercise buddy, but with greater consistency and without any negative influence.

Public housing residents who walked therapy dogs for up to 20 minutes five days a week lost an average of 14.4 pounds in a year, without changing their diets.

A third study found that people who got a dog walked 30 minutes more a week than they did before.

Source: Harvard Health Publications



Dogs and the health benefits for older adults



As well as providing vital companionship, owning a dog can play an important role in healthy aging by:



Helping you find meaning and joy in life. As you age, you’ll lose things that previously occupied your time and gave your life purpose. You may retire from your career or your children may move far away. Caring for a dog can bring pleasure and help boost your morale, optimism, and sense of self-worth. Choosing to adopt a dog from a shelter, especially an older dog, can add to the sense of fulfillment, knowing that you’ve provided a home to a pet that may otherwise have been euthanized.

Staying connected. Maintaining a social network isn’t always easy as you grow older. Retirement, illness, death, and relocation can take away close friends and family members. And making new friends can get harder. Dogs are a great way for older adults to spark up conversations and meet new people.

Boosting vitality. You can overcome many of the physical challenges associated with aging by taking good care of yourself. Dogs, and to a lesser degree cats, encourage playfulness, laughter, and exercise, which can help boost your immune system and increase your energy.

Dogs and adults with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia

As part of the disease, Alzheimer’s patients may exhibit a variety of behavioral problems, many related to an inability to deal with stress.



Research at the University of California at Davis concluded that Alzheimer's patients suffer less stress and have fewer anxious outbursts if there is a dog or cat in the home.

Dogs can provide a source of positive, nonverbal communication. The playful interaction and gentle touch from a well-trained, docile dog can help soothe an Alzheimer’s patient and decrease aggressive behavior.

In many cases a patient’s problem behavior is a reaction to the stressed response of the primary caretaker. Pets can help ease the stress of caregivers.

For older adults interested in adopting a senior dog or cat, there are programs available that can subsidize pet adoption fees and the animal’s medical care. See Resources section below.



Dogs and the health benefits for children



Not only do children who grow up with pets have less risk of allergies and asthma, many also learn responsibility, compassion, and empathy from having a dog or cat.



Unlike parents or teachers, pets are never critical and don’t give orders. They are always loving and their mere presence at home can help provide a sense of security in children. Having an ever-present dog can help ease separation anxiety in children when mom and dad aren’t around.

Having the love and companionship of a loyal dog can make a child feel important and help him or her develop a positive self-image.

Kids who are emotionally attached to their dog are better able to build relationships with other people.

Studies have also shown that dogs can help calm hyperactive or overly aggressive kids. Of course, both the dog and the child need to be trained to behave appropriately with each other.

Children and adults alike can benefit from playing with dogs, which can be both a source of calmness and relaxation, as well as a source of stimulation for the brain and body. Playing with a dog can even be a doorway to learning for a child. It can stimulate a child’s imagination and curiosity. The rewards of training a dog to perform a new trick, for example, can teach kids the importance of perseverance. Caring for a furry friend can also offer another benefit to a child: immense joy.



Children with learning disorders and other challenges



Some children with autism or other learning difficulties are better able to interact with pets than people. Autistic children often rely on nonverbal cues to communicate, just as dogs do. And learning to first connect with a dog may even help an autistic child in his or her interactions with people.



Pets can help children with learning disabilities learn how to regulate stress and calm themselves, making them better equipped to overcome the challenges of their disorder.

Playing and exercising with a dog can help a child with learning disorders stay alert and attentive throughout the day. It can also be a great antidote to stress and frustration caused by the learning disability.

Owning a dog is a major commitment



A dog is not a miracle cure for mental illness. Owning a dog is beneficial and comforting only for those who love and appreciate domestic animals and have the time and money to keep a dog happy and healthy. If you’re simply not a “dog person,” dog ownership is not going to provide you with any health benefits or improve your life. For some people, owning a cat requires less time and attention, and can be just as rewarding.



Even if you love dogs, it’s important to understand everything that caring for a dog entails. Owning a dog is a commitment that will last the lifetime of the animal, perhaps 10 or 15 years. And at the end of that commitment, you’ll face the grief and mourning that comes with losing a beloved companion.



Other drawbacks to owning a dog are:



Dogs require time and attention. As any dog owner will tell you, there’s nothing beneficial to your mental health about coming home to a dog who’s has been locked up in the house on his own all day long. Dogs need daily exercise and mental stimulation to stay calm and well-balanced.

Owning a dog can curb some of your social activity. A dog can only be left alone for a limited time. By training your dog, you’ll be able to take him with you to visit friends, run errands, or sit outside a coffee shop, for example, but you won’t be able to leave for a spur of the moment weekend away without arranging care for your pet first.

Dogs can be destructive. Any dog can have an occasional accident at home, especially if he’s sick or been left alone for too long, while some dogs are prone to chewing shoes or destroying cushions. Training and exercise can help eradicate negative, destructive behavior, but they remain common in dogs left alone for long periods of time.

Dogs require responsibility. Most dogs, regardless of size and breed, are capable of inflicting injury on people if not handled responsibly by their owners. Dog owners need to be alert to any danger, especially around children.

Dogs carry health risks for some people. While there are some diseases that can be transmitted from dogs to their human handlers, allergies are the most common health risk of dog ownership. If you or a family member has been diagnosed with a pet allergy, carefully consider whether you can live with the symptoms before committing to dog ownership. Also consider that some friends or relatives with allergies may no longer be able to visit your home if you have a dog.

Can you afford a dog?



There’s no getting away from it: owning a dog costs money. First, there is the cost of buying the dog. Adopting a dog from a shelter or rescue group in the U.S. typically costs between $70 and $300, depending on the age of the animal, while buying a puppy from a breeder can cost several thousand dollars. Then there are the other costs of raising a healthy dog:



The ASCPA estimates that it costs between $580 and $875 per year to take care of a dog’s routine needs, depending on the size of the dog. That’s $50 to $70 per month. If you’re unemployed or elderly, on a limited fixed income, it may be a struggle to cope with the expense of pet ownership.

A puppy requires spaying/neutering and vaccinations, although some shelters and rescue groups include the cost of this in the adoption fee. Adult dogs usually require monthly flea and tick prevention treatments as well as vaccination boosters. Then there are food bills and the cost of a crate, bedding, food and water bowls, collar and leash, toys, grooming, licenses, treats, and boarding or pet-sitting fees.

When a dog gets sick, veterinary bills can mount up quickly. While certain dog breeds are more prone to specific health problems, any dog can require emergency care following an injury or illness. Whatever your intentions towards your dog when you first bring him home, he will quickly become a cherished companion. And if he becomes sick, you’re likely to do whatever it takes to bring him back to health—even going into debt.



Getting the dog that's right for you



If you’ve decided that owning a dog is right for you, congratulations: you’re about to open your life to a unique and rewarding relationship. While people who have dogs tend to be happier, more independent, and feel more secure than those without pets, it’s important to select the type of dog that is best for your needs and lifeforbidden. Man's best friend comes in countless breeds or mix of breeds, each offering a different blend of personality traits. Talk to other members of your household and agree on the qualities you want in a dog and those that you’d prefer to avoid.



Deciding on the qualities you want in a dog



If you’ve never owned a dog before, it may not be obvious what type of dog will suit your lifeforbidden and living arrangements. Following are some important questions:



Do you have an active household with young children, disabled people, or frail elderly people? If so, you’ll want a gentle dog. In an active household, avoid toy breeds; they may get trampled by youngsters and are prone to barking and biting. Large or rambunctious dogs could accidentally knock over a small child or adult who is unsteady on his or her feet.

How much shedding can you tolerate, and how much grooming can you afford? Most dogs shed fur to some extent, especially dogs with double coats like chows and Akitas, which can be messy and provoke allergy attacks in some people. Some dogs, such as poodles and poodle mixes like Labradoodles, are bred to be nonshedding but may require a lot of professional grooming, so you’ll need to factor in the time and expense of owning such a dog.

How active do you plan to be with the dog? This is one of the most important questions you can ask about a potential dog (and yourself). If you’re not terribly active, don’t get a dog that needs a lot of exercise, such as a golden retriever or husky. On the other hand, if you’d like a dog to run with, choose an animal that can tolerate lots of exercise such as a pointer or Border collie. Inevitably, a dog that gets enough exercise will behave better in the home and be less prone to anxiety and its potentially destructive consequences.

Who will take care of the dog? Although children will often beg for a dog and reassure parents that they will be the primary caretakers, the responsibility typically falls to the adults in a household. (And even if a child does care for the pet, you must supervise him or her.) The bottom line: if you and your family members aren’t prepared to feed and walk a dog, you shouldn’t get one.

How long will the dog be alone on a daily basis? Not only do dogs need to go out to eliminate every eight hours or so (or more often than that if they’re puppies or old and sick), but they can also suffer from loneliness and anxiety if isolated. You may have to hire a dog walker or take the dog to doggie day care.

Do you have other animals in the home, and will they get along with your new pet? Some dogs and cats will not tolerate a new animal in the home, so be sure to assess your current pets’ predisposition to new family members before you commit.

Do you live in the right size and kind of home for the dog you want to acquire? Big, rowdy Labrador retrievers and hyper Border collies won’t do well in tiny apartments and need plenty of space to run and play, especially when they’re young. But size is not always a good indicator of energy level or adaptability to a small house. Many large dogs are better suited to apartment life than are the high-energy but small Jack Russell Terriers, for example.

Do you want a puppy or a full-grown dog? Starting from scratch with a puppy can be a tremendous joy, but also a tremendous amount of work, so you want to be sure you’ll have time to properly housebreak, socialize, and train a puppy. If you can’t deal with a puppy, a housebroken adult dog is often a better choice.

Adapted with permission from Get Healthy, Get a Dog: The health benefits of canine companionship, a special health report published by Harvard Health Publications.



Where to find the perfect dog



If you have a specific breed of dog in mind, you can look for rescue group that caters to that breed or seek out a reputable breeder. Ask for a referral from other dog owners, a veterinarian, or local breed club or rescue group, but remember: a reputable breeder will always want to meet you before selling a dog to ensure that you’ll be a suitable, responsible owner.



Of course, you can also find purebred dogs in shelters—where they’ll cost substantially less than from a breeder—as well as many different types of mixed breed dogs. Mixed breed dogs usually have fewer health problems than their purebred cousins, often have better dispositions, and tend to adapt more easily to a new home. With a purebred, though, it’s easier to know what to expect in regards to size, behavior and health—you’d need to know the different breeds in a mix to determine the same of a mutt. Of course, breed or mix of breeds doesn’t solely determine the character of a dog—much of that is down to you and the kind of home and training you provide your pet.



Shelter and rescue dogs



Whether a mixed breed or a purebred, dogs adopted from a shelter or rescue group make excellent pets. For the most part, a dog ends up in a shelter through no fault of his own. His owner may have died or moved to a place that doesn’t allow pets, or he may have simply been abandoned by irresponsible owners who bought him on a whim and later discovered they were unable or unwilling to care for him properly. If any shelter or rescue dog exhibits aggressive behavior, he is typically euthanized rather than offered for adoption.



Rescue groups try to find suitable homes for unwanted or abandoned dogs, many taken from shelters where they would otherwise have been euthanized. Volunteers usually take care of the animals until they can find a permanent home. This means that rescuers are often very familiar with a dog’s personality and can help advise you on whether the pet would be a good match for your needs. By adopting an animal from a shelter or rescue organization, you’ll not only be giving a home to a deserving pet, but you’ll also likely be saving a dog’s life.



Avoid puppies sold in pet stores or on the Internet

Pet stores that care about puppies don't sell them. That's because the majority of pet stores that sell puppies carry dogs from cruel and inhumane puppy mills. Puppy mills are like dog-making factories with the mother dogs spending their entire lives in cramped cages or kennels with little or no personal attention or quality of life. When the mother and father dogs can no longer breed, they are discarded or killed. Consumers who purchase puppies from pet stores or over the Internet without seeing a breeder's home firsthand are often unknowingly supporting this cruel industry.



Help stop this cycle of cruelty simply by choosing to adopt your next pet from a shelter or rescue, or by only purchasing a dog from a responsible breeder who will show you where your puppy was born and raised.



Source: The Humane Society of the United States



Assessing a dog or puppy



There are no perfect tests to predict how a dog or puppy will adapt to your home—much of it comes down to your emotional reaction to the dog—but there are some things to look for when meeting a prospective new pet. In general, you’re looking for a friendly dog that’s interested in you and likes to be touched. If you have kids, you want a dog that is not overly sensitive to loud noises or being handled.



Talk to shelter staff or rescue group volunteers, anyone who has spent time with the dog and can offer insight into its personality. Many organizations have developed temperament tests for dogs to help make better matches—these may tell you how a dog is with children or other pets, for example, whether he guards his food, or is energetic and needs a lot of exercise or prefers to snuggle up with a human.

Remember that any dog in a shelter is likely to be stressed so may seem a little shy or scared at first. Often, a dog's true personality won’t become apparent until he's away from the shelter.

Spend time with the dog, out of his cage. Is the dog friendly and curious about you? Is he hyper or calm? Does he like to be touched and petted?

Take the dog for a walk to see how he reacts to other people and dogs. Play with him, ask to feed him. Does the dog seem comfortable around you and your family?

Even if the dog has any physical or behavioral problems, with the right care and training he can still make a wonderful pet. It’s a personal decision but it’s best to be aware of any potential difficulties before making a commitment.

Alternatives to dog ownership



If you don’t have the time, money, or stamina to own a dog full-time, there are still ways you can experience the health benefits of being around dogs. Even short periods spent with a dog can benefit both you and the animal.



You can ask to walk a neighbor’s dog, for example, or volunteer at an animal shelter. Most animal shelters or rescue groups welcome volunteers to help care for homeless pets or assist at adoption events. You’ll not only be helping yourself but also be helping to socialize and exercise the dogs, making them more adoptable.

Some animal shelters and rescue groups offer pet “rental” programs. Dogs that are available for adoption can be rented out for walks or play dates, or you can foster an animal temporarily until a permanent home can be found for him, or to decide if the dog is right for you.

A variety of different organizations offer specially trained therapy dogs and cats to visit children’s hospitals, assisted living facilities, nursing homes, hospice programs, shelters, and schools. During these visits people are invited to pet and stroke the animals, which can improve mood and reduce stress and anxiety.

More help for the health benefits of pets



Staying Healthy As You Age: How to Feel Young and Live Life to the Fullest

Why Should Adults Make Time for Play? How Play Benefits Your Health, Work, and Family Relationships

Easy Ways to Start Exercising: Making Exercise a Fun Part of Your Everyday Life

Dealing with Depression: Self-Help and Coping Tips to Overcome Depression

Coping with Pet Loss: Grieving the Death of a Dog or Cat and Moving On

Laughter is the Best Medicine: The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter

Did this article help you? Please make a donation that will help someone else who is dealing with this problem. LEARN MORE »



Resources and references



The health benefits of pets



Physical & Medical Health Benefits of Pets – Describes all the wonderful ways pets can help us live healthier, happier lives. (PetEducation.com; commercial site)



Companion Animals in Care Environments – Series of articles about animal-assisted activities and animal-assisted therapy. (University of Minnesota)



The Health Benefits of Pets – Summarizes the results of numerous studies into the therapeutic benefits of pets. (PreciousPets.org)



Can Pets Keep You Healthy? – Explores the bond between human and animal. (National Institutes of Health)



Get Healthy, Get a Dog: The health benefits of canine companionship – A special report that guides you in choosing a companion that will suit your lifeforbidden. (Harvard Health)



Pets and older adults



Seniors for Seniors Adoptions – The program places senior cats and dogs with senior citizens at a reduced adoption rate. (Paws.org)



Pets for the Elderly – A non-profit charity that pays a portion of the adoption fee when a senior adopts a companion pet from one of their participating shelters. (The Pets for the Elderly Foundation)



Seniors for Pets – Provides assistance to needy seniors by funding basic medical care for their pets. (Seniors for Pets)



Pets and children



Kids and Pets – Tips for parents about ensuring a safe and loving relationship between children and pets, including how to introduce a new pet to a baby. (HomeVet.com, a Connecticut veterinarian’s website)



Dogs and Children – Article about kids and dogs living under the same roof. Includes some tips for training the dog and the child. (Chesapeake Bay Retriever Relief and Rescue)



Exploring the Health Benefits of Pets – How companion animals can help children with autism. (New York Times)



Choosing the right dog



Choosing a Puppy from a Litter – Guidelines to help you evaluate puppies between 6 and 12 weeks old, including the benefits of careful puppy selection. (ASPCA)



Choosing the Right Dog for You – How to choose a dog from a shelter or rescue group, including a comparison of purebred and mixed breed dogs. (Humane Society)



Selecting the Right Pet for Your Family – Points to consider before adopting a pet, and what factors to consider in choosing what type of pet to get. (Lexington Humane Society)



Stop Puppy Mills – Information about the inhumane treatment of animals at puppy mills. (Humane Society)



Things to Consider Before You Adopt a Dog – Discusses the questions family members should discuss before adopting a dog. (Petfinder)



Finding therapy pets and class pets



Therapy Dogs – Organization that provides dog/handler teams in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, and U.S. Territories. (TherapyDogs.com)



Pet Partners – Provides therapy, service, and companion animals in the United States. (Pet Partners)



Therapy Dogs International – Regulates, tests, and registers therapy dogs and their handlers in the United States and Canada. (TDI)



Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Last updated: February 2016.

Low Social Interaction Harms Lifespan on a Par with Obesity, Smoking, Inactivity..Written by Catharine Paddock PhD Published: Wednesday 28 July 2010.
00:23 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,820

A new study from the US suggests that social interaction should be considered an important factor for extending lifespan, on a par with other health and lifeforbidden factors, to the extent that low social interaction harms longevity as much as alcoholism and smoking, has more impact than lack of exercise, and is twice as harmful as obesity.



Researchers at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Provo, Utah, conducted a meta-analysis of published studies and found that having social ties with friends, family, neighbours and colleagues can improve our odds of survival by 50 per cent. You can read about their study online in a paper published in the July issue of PLoS Medicine.



"The idea that a lack of social relationships is a risk factor for death is still not widely recognized by health organizations and the public," noted the journal editors in their summary.



First author Dr Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor in the Department of Psychology at BYU, and co-authors Dr Timothy Smith, a professor of Counseling Psychology at BYU, and Brad Layton, formerly of BYU and now working towards a PhD in epidemiology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, suggest that social relationships should be added to the shortlist of factors that impact a person's odds of living or dying.



For their analysis, they pooled data from 148 published longitudinal studies (the sort that track groups of people over time, taking observations now and again), and found that low social interaction had a similar impact on lifespan as being an alcoholic or smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It was also more harmful than physical inactivity, and twice as harmful as obesity, they suggested.



The studies they examined measured the frequency of human interaction and tracked a range of health outcomes for an overall average period of 7.5 years. If the studies had also yielded data on quality of relationships, the authors suggest the impact of healthy social interaction on odds of survival could be higher than 50 per cent.



To work out the impact statistically, Holt-Lunstad and colleagues extracted an "effect size" from each study: this quantifies the difference between two groups, in this case, the likelihood of death between groups that differed in terms of their social ties.



Using a statistical method known as "random effects modeling" they then worked out the average effect size as an odds ratio (OR), which essentially expresses the chance of something happening (in this case death) in one group with the chance of it happening in another group, as a ratio.



Holt-Lunstad told the press that the data they analyzed only showed whether the participants were "integrated in a social network"; there wasn't enough detail to enable them to separately examine the negative and positive effects of being in the network, "they are all averaged together," she added.



They found that the average OR for these 148 studies was 1.5, that is people with stronger social ties had a 50 per cent higher chance of survival than those with weaker ones.



The researchers discovered another important result: studies that considered simple measures such as marital status were less predictive of risk of death than those that took into account more complex measures of social integration.



Family, friends, and colleagues influence our health for the better in lots of small as well a big ways, said Holt-Lunstad, so that:



"When someone is connected to a group and feels responsibility for other people, that sense of purpose and meaning translates to taking better care of themselves and taking fewer risks."



The researchers also studied the results to see if the effect on longevity was coming mainly from people supporting each other later on in life, but this was not the case, the effect was spread out over age:



"This effect is not isolated to older adults," said Smith.



"Relationships provide a level of protection across all ages," he explained.



Humans are social animals, yet in developed nations many people no longer live in extended families, living apart from each other, with relatives at the other end of the country or on the other side of the world. There is also a growing trend to delay having children, and an increasing number of people living alone.



A recent survey by the UK's Mental Health Foundation found that one in ten adults often feels lonely, one in three has a close friend or relative whom they believe to be very lonely, and half think that generally, people are getting lonelier.



Similarly in the US, there has been a three-fold increase in the last twenty years in the number of Americans who say they have no one to confide in.



All this adds up to an increase in social isolation, which many experts believe is bad for human health. Although further research is needed to support its findings, it would seem that this study confirms that view, and calls for more attention to be paid to social factors, in the assessment of risks to health and life, and in interventions to modify them.



It doesn't matter how much we rely on modern conveniences and technology, we still need social networks, not just for our mental but also our physical health, said Smith.



"We take relationships for granted as humans -- we're like fish that don't notice the water," he added.



"Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review."

Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, J. Bradley Layton.

PLoS Medicine, 7(7): e1000316; July 2010.

DOI:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316



Additional source: PLoS Medicine Editors' Summary.



Written by Catharine Paddock PhD

Loneliness Is Deadly... Social isolation kills more people than obesity does—and it’s just as stigmatized. By Jessica Olien
00:21 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,821




Over the winter I moved from New York City to Portland, Ore. The reasons for my move were purely logical. New York was expensive and stressful. Portland, I reasoned, would offer me the space and time to do my work.



Upon arriving, I rented a house and happily went out in search of "my people." I went to parks, bookstores, bars, on dates. I even tried golfing. It wasn't that I didn't meet people. I did. I just felt no connection to any of them.



Once social and upbeat, I became morose and mildly paranoid. I knew I needed to connect to people to feel better, but I felt as though I physically could not handle any more empty interactions. I woke up in the night panicked. In the afternoon, loneliness came in waves like a fever. I had no idea how to fix it.



Feeling uncertain, I began to research loneliness and came across several alarming recent studies. Loneliness is not just making us sick, it is killing us. Loneliness is a serious health risk. Studies of elderly people and social isolation concluded that those without adequate social interaction were twice as likely to die prematurely.



The increased mortality risk is comparable to that from smoking. And loneliness is about twice as dangerous as obesity.



Social isolation impairs immune function and boosts inflammation, which can lead to arthritis, type II diabetes, and heart disease. Loneliness is breaking our hearts, but as a culture we rarely talk about it.



Loneliness has doubled: 40 percent of adults in two recent surveys said they were lonely, up from 20 percent in the 1980s.



All of our Internet interactions aren’t helping and may be making loneliness worse. A recent study of Facebook users found that the amount of time you spend on the social network is inversely related to how happy you feel throughout the day.



In a society that judges you based on how expansive your social networks appear, loneliness is difficult to fess up to. It feels shameful.



About a decade ago, my mom was going through a divorce from my step-father. Lonely and desperate for connection, she called a cousin she hadn’t talked to in several years. On the phone, her cousin was derisive: “Don’t you have any friends?”



While dealing with my own loneliness in Portland I often found myself thinking, "If I were a better person I wouldn't be lonely."



“Admitting you are lonely is like holding a big L up on your forehead,” says John T. Cacioppo of the University of Chicago, who studies how loneliness and social isolation affect people’s health.



He admitted that on an airplane he once became acutely embarrassed while holding a copy of his own book, which had the word Loneliness emblazoned on the front cover. He had the impulse to turn the cover inside-out so that people couldn’t see it. “For the first time I actually experienced the feeling of being lonely and everyone knowing it,” he says.



After the public learned of Stephen Fry’s suicide attempt last year, the beloved British actor wrote a blog post about his fight with depression. He cited loneliness as the worst part of his affliction.



“Lonely? I get invitation cards through the post almost every day. I shall be in the Royal Box at Wimbledon and I have serious and generous offers from friends asking me to join them in the South of France, Italy, Sicily, South Africa, British Columbia, and America this summer. I have two months to start a book before I go off to Broadway for a run of Twelfth Night there.



I can read back that last sentence and see that, bipolar or not, if I’m under treatment and not actually depressed, what the fuck right do I have to be lonely, unhappy, or forlorn? I don’t have the right. But there again I don’t have the right not to have those feelings. Feelings are not something to which one does or does not have rights.



In the end loneliness is the most terrible and contradictory of my problems.”

Most of us know what it is like to be lonely in a room full of people, which is the same reason even a celebrity can be deeply lonely. You could be surrounded by hundreds of adoring fans, but if there is no one you can rely on, no one who knows you, you will feel isolated.



In terms of human interactions, the number of people we know is not the best measure. In order to be socially satisfied, we don’t need all that many people. According to Cacioppo the key is in the quality, not the quantity of those people. We just need several on whom we can depend and who depend on us in return.



As a culture we obsess over strategies to prevent obesity. We provide resources to help people quit smoking. But I have never had a doctor ask me how much meaningful social interaction I am getting. Even if a doctor did ask, it is not as though there is a prescription for meaningful social interaction.



Both Denmark and Great Britain are devoting more time and energy to finding solutions and staging interventions for lonely people, particularly the elderly.



When we are lonely, we lose impulse control and engage in what scientists call “social evasion.” We become less concerned with interactions and more concerned with self-preservation, as I was when I couldn’t even imagine trying to talk to another human. Evolutionary psychologists speculate that loneliness triggers our basic, fight vs. flight survival mechanisms, and we stick to the periphery, away from people we do not know if we can trust.



In one study, Cacioppo measured brain activity during the sleep of lonely and nonlonely people. Those who were lonely were far more prone to micro awakenings, which suggest the brain is on alert for threats throughout the night, perhaps just as earlier humans would have needed to be when separated from their tribe.



One of the reasons we avoid discussing loneliness is that fixing it obviously isn’t a simple endeavor.



Even though the Internet has possibly contributed to our isolation, it might hold a key to fixing it. Cacioppo is excited by online dating statistics showing that couples who found each other online and stayed together shared more of a connection and were less likely to divorce than couples who met offline. If these statistics hold up, it would stand to reason friendships could also be found in this way, easing those whose instincts tell them to stay on the periphery back into the world with common bonds forged over the Internet.



Me? I moved back to New York.



Jessica Olien is a writer and illustrator living in Brooklyn. Follow her on Twitter.

Why Loneliness Is Bad for Your Health A conversation with John Cacioppo, author of a new book on the need for social connection.
00:07 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,822

When all is said and done, the best guarantee of a long and healthy life may be the connections you have with other people. John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago and coauthor of a new book, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection (W. W. Norton, $25.95), talked with U.S. News about the latest research on how relationships affect physical health. Edited excerpts:



Why did you choose to study loneliness?





We want to understand what importance our social connections have to people's biology. Early in human history, our species's survival required the protection of families and tribes. Isolation meant death. The painful feeling known as loneliness is a prompt to reconnect to others. You say that social isolation has an impact on health comparable to high blood pressure, obesity, lack of exercise, or smoking. Can you explain?





Loneliness shows up in measurements of stress hormones, immune function, and cardiovascular function. Lonely adults consume more alcohol and get less exercise than those who are not lonely. Their diet is higher in fat, their sleep is less efficient, and they report more daytime fatigue. Loneliness also disrupts the regulation of cellular processes deep within the body, predisposing us to premature aging. You point out that, oddly enough, loneliness also makes us less socially adept. How?





Lonely adults have the same social skills as nonlonely adults, but they don't deploy them as appropriately. We think that lonely individuals feel threatened, and because of that feeling of threat, they're not certain they can trust others. When you see something positive happening to others, you're not sure if you're included, so you're aloof, demanding, or critical. Is the solution to surround ourselves with people?





Loneliness isn't necessarily a result of being alone. Think about a bereaved spouse and the college freshman going away from home for the first time. They can be around a lot of people but feel completely isolated. In humans, perceived isolation is so much more important than physical isolation. How can each of us manage our own feelings of loneliness?





Just like hunger and thirst and pain, loneliness signals something important for the survival of your genes—the need for connection to other individuals. A loneliness response might tell you to pass up that promotion that requires that you rip yourself away from friends and family and move to another country. Or if you do move, you'll know you have to say, OK, I will set up a system to maintain and restore those relationships. In everyday life, play with the idea of trying to get small doses of the positive sensations that come from good social interactions. Just saying to someone, "Isn't it a beautiful day?" or "I loved that book!" can bring a friendly response that makes you feel better.



When it comes to friendships, some people think that in order to be less lonely, everybody has to like them. That's not true. It takes just one, two, or three people. The person who has 4,000 friends on Facebook is not necessarily the least lonely person, especially if he spends all his time maintaining his Facebook page.



I'm glad you brought up Facebook. Can virtual connections give us what we need?





It really depends how one uses them. People have thought of them as being all good or all bad, but it's more subtle than that. If you use artificial means of connecting as a substitute for physical means of connection, you actually get lonelier. However, if you are disabled and isolated by virtue of the disability and the Internet is permitting you to make connections, then it decreases feelings of isolation. You say we connect with others in three basic ways, but each person has his or her own comfort level with those connections. How does that work?





Humans have a need to be affirmed up close and personal; we see this most often in marriage. But people who don't marry may find meaning elsewhere. We also have a need for a wider circle of friends and family, but we all know that close family connections can be a mixed blessing. And there's a need to feel that we belong to a larger group. Many of us tend to ignore the collective part of social connection until there is an insult or threat. An example is how, right after 9/11, Americans felt very close to one another. There was a harmony and helpfulness that was really quite surprising. Being an Obama-ite during the campaign would be another example of having a collective identity, feeling like you're part of something grand and wonderful.



People who go to church regularly live longer than nonchurchgoers. Why is that?





Churches can be very beneficial—one can feel connected to the group, the church, and to God. Those are actually different things, but both seem to have beneficial effect. God is like a supercharged friend. You joke about how men soothe their loneliness with computers and women do it with pets. But there is indeed a difference.





We do see a distinction between men and women. Men don't understand their wives' need for girlfriends. On the other hand, as the wife walks out the door to have lunch with her friends, the husband might be watching the football game on TV all by himself. If she asks if he's lonely, he'd say, "No, I'm with my tribe. Go, Bears!"

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2008/11/12/why-loneliness-is-bad-for-your-health?page=2

7 Elements of a Strong Work Ethic SEPTEMBER 1, 2015
00:00 Feb 24 2016
Times Read: 1,823




Have you ever tried to do business with someone who didn’t seem to take pleasure in the job, or care? Perhaps you didn't go back to this person because you didn't like the way you were treated, or lacked confidence in that business as a whole.



Related: Is the Notion of a 'Good Work Ethic' Generationally Biased?



Did you then spread the word to others about your bad experience?



When you own your own business, “bad press” like this can affect your bottom line and your reputation. The solution is to foster and maintain a strong work ethic. A strong work ethic energizes you and your employees to face your challenges head-on, be your best and keep you at the top of your game.



Here are the seven key components of a rock-solid work ethic.







1. Professionalism

Being professional involves everything from how you dress and present yourself in the business world to the way you treat others. Professionalism is such a broad category, in fact, that it basically encompasses all the other elements of a strong work ethic.



2. Respectfulness

You display grace under pressure: No matter how tight the deadline or heated the tempers, you always remain poised and diplomatic. Whether you’re serving a customer, meeting with a client or collaborating with colleagues, you do your best to respect everyone’s opinions, especially under trying circumstances. This shows you value people’s individual worth as well as their professional contributions.



3. Dependability

You can be relied on to keep your promises. You are always on time and prepared for meetings, and deliver your work on schedule and on budget. Your reputation for reliability precedes you because you’ve proven over time that customers, clients and colleagues can trust you to do everything you say you will. In an uncertain world, your customers, colleagues and clients will appreciate the stability you embody.



Related: Mario Batali and Gary Vaynerchuk on Doing Your Best Work



4. Dedication

You don’t stop until the job is done, and done right. “Good enough” is not good enough for you and your team. You aim for "outstanding" in everything you do. You put in the extra hours to get things right, giving attention to detail and devotion to excellence. Your passion shows in how hard you work and the results you achieve.



5. Determination

You don’t let obstacles stop you, and enthusiastically embrace challenges like a mountain climber who ascends higher and higher until the summit is reached. You know that your job as an entrepreneur is to solve your clients’ problems, and you resolve to continually seek better and more innovative answers. With purpose and resilience, you push ahead, no matter how far you have to go.



6. Accountability

You take personal responsibility for your actions and outcomes in every situation, and avoid making excuses when things don’t go as planned. You admit your mistakes and use them as learning experiences so you won’t make the same ones again. You also expect your employees to meet the same high standards, and support those who accept responsibility instead of blaming others.



7. Humility

You acknowledge everyone’s contributions, and freely share credit for accomplishments. You show gratitude to colleagues who work hard, and appreciation to your loyal clients. You have integrity in spades, and are open to learning from others, even as you teach people through your words, actions and example. And, while you always take your work seriously, you strive always to maintain a sense of humor about yourself.

6 Ways To Pamper Yourself at Home (For Cheap!)
23:56 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,825

Whether you’re finishing a difficult workweek or want to be rewarded for something special, it can be fun to #treatyoself, right? Unfortunately, expensive trips to the spa are not really an option if you’re on a budget, but you shouldn’t have to miss out on a little indulgence just because you can’t afford to splurge. Instead, check out these easy ways to pamper yourself for cheap without ever leaving your home. Huzzah!



CREATE A SPA AT HOME

Whenever I need to decompress after a rough day, I bring the spa home! I’ll light some candles, turn off the lights and take a hot shower. I discovered this little trick after my power went out one night and I only had candles for light. After that shower, I was amazed at how relaxed and pampered I felt. If I have extra time, I’ll pour myself a glass of wine, play some chill music (Miles Davis is my go-to) and take a long bath. It’s a perfect way to spoil yourself with things you probably already have lying around your house.



DIY BEAUTY PRODUCTS

I’m a complete sucker for frivolous beauty products. If I could buy every single thing in Lush, I would (seriously, how does everything smell so good in there?!). But the sad truth is that when it comes to buying another Shea Body Butter or paying rent, I have to forgo the unnecessary expense. But just because I can’t afford top shelf quality body products doesn’t mean I need to deprive my skin of a good pampering. There are so many amazing DIY projects for beauty products! From this lavender vanilla body scrub to these naturally scented bath bombs, the Internet is filled with cheap and easy recipes for fun skincare products.



TREAT YOUR HAIR

In an ideal world, I’d roll out of bed with my hair looking like Beyoncé, but with a tight budget, it can be difficult to afford even the occasional haircut. After a while, our locks can start looking a bit ragged and no one likes having a bad hair day everyday. Yikes. If you can’t afford the high-end shampoo + conditioner, treat yourself to a leave-in hair treatment. It can be something as simple as one-ingredient hair masks (my favorite is coconut oil!). These can be surprisingly nourishing and leave your hair looking like you’ve just treated yourself to a day at the salon!



SKIP THE MANICURE

For being such a small thing, painting your nails can make you feel pretty snazzy. Getting regular manicures or pedicures, however, can start to get really pricey.



Next time your nails are in need of a little attention, skip the salon and buy yourself a nice bottle of polish instead. This may cost the same as a manicure, but you’ll have a new color that you can use over and over again, making it much cheaper in the long run. Plus, buying a good quality brand means your color will last longer. Win win!



SCORE A DEAL ON A MASSAGE

Okay, so this one may not be something you can do at home, but we couldn’t leave it off the list! There are few things as luxurious in this world as treating yourself to a professional massage. Not only is the experience lovely, but you anticipate the appointment for weeks before and it leaves you relaxed for the rest of the day. But let’s face it, booking a massage is definitely a splurge. Luckily, sites like Groupon and Living Social offer spa packages at serious discounts. We’ve found amazing deals for super posh spas looking to attract new customers. You can also find awesome deals for things like facials and manicures, too!



TAKE A STAYCATION

If you’re in dire need of a getaway, but can’t afford it, take a staycation instead. Staycations are like mini vacations, but instead of traveling out of town, you stay in your area. Find yourself a cheap last minute hotel deal in town and treat yourself to all the luxuries of a vacation without having to pay for an expensive plane ticket. If you want to be even thriftier, tell everyone you’re going out of town but stay home instead. Turn off your phone, don’t check your email, and stay the heck away from your computer. Spend the day having complete “you” time!



http://thenectarcollective.com/6-ways-pamper-home-cheap/

10 (cheap and easy) ways to pamper yourself...
23:54 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,826

Kate blogs at Modern Alternative Mama, where she writes about real food, natural health, parenting, and lots of other things that cross her mind. When not blogging, she spends time with her three children and her husband, Ben. She is passionate about parenting, pregnancy, birth, and all things health, and recently released two ebooks: Real Food Basics and Healthy Pregnancy Super Foods.

Pink Lady or Pink Ashley



Let’s face it. If you’re a mom, you’re busy. It doesn’t matter what you do with your time: whether you work or stay home, volunteer or home school, cook up a storm or craft, not to mention driving the kids from activity to activity. Being a mom is the definition of being busy.



That means you need a little pampering here and there. But who has the time? If you have a free moment, an extra load of laundry could get done. You could finally repair the tear in Johnny’s soccer uniform. Or you could even, you know, spend some time with your husband.



Plus, it’s so expensive. $20 for a dinner out with the girls? You could feed your entire family for two days – all three meals – on that. For these reasons (and more), mom-pampering-time often gets overlooked.



But what if there were ways to pamper yourself that were truly simple? Ways that were very cheap or even free, which did not require large amounts of time or advance planning? Would you do it then?



I’m betting yes. And if your answer is, “Well, maybe…” then you need to think harder about this. If you’re busy trying to be Super Mom, you need a break. You deserve a break. You’ll feel happier and saner and bring that positive energy back to your family.



So let’s get to the good stuff! Here are ten ways to pamper yourself that are cheap and easy.





1. Call a friend to catch up.



Is there someone you haven’t talked to in awhile? Put the kids down for a nap (or “quiet time”) and give her a call. Save it for the weekend if you have to and make your husband take the kids out to play for awhile. Enjoy a nice, long chat that’s mostly about your friendship, not your kids. Feel happy because you’ve remembered old parts of yourself and gotten a verbal hug from a friend.



2. Have a cup of tea (or coffee).







Photo by Kay Yuen



You might do this every morning, but do you really enjoy it? Set out to enjoy it this time. Choose a nice-flavored beverage instead of the plain-old usual stuff. Take it to a comfortable spot and just sip it and enjoy it. It’s not about waking up, getting your caffeine fix, or simple hydration. No, it’s about a quiet moment with a soothing, delicious drink. Variation: wait till the kids are in bed and make it an “adult” beverage.



3. Take a warm bath alone.



When was the last time you took any form of bath or shower alone? I know if I take a shower when my kids are awake that at least one of them will undoubtedly join me. This time, it’s just for you. Do it after the kids are in bed, or while your husband promises his very best to keep them occupied elsewhere. Make the bath warm, add some bubbles or herbs to make it fancy, light a candle, turn on some music, bring a book. Or just take a nap. But enjoy your bath and remember: no kids allowed!



4. Have tea and cookies with a friend.



Remember those days of long, uninterrupted face-to-face conversations over tea or coffee? And how they’re so far gone now? Well, find an afternoon where you can join your friend – at your place or hers, or at a local coffee house if you prefer – alone to talk and share a snack. Catch up and enjoy the silence and ability to remember what you’re saying because you’re not worried that Johnny is going to climb on the nearby table to get that oh-so-interesting house plant.



5. Wear a fancy outfit on a regular day.



A lot of moms get to the point where they just wear sweat pants and t-shirts all the time. Make-up? Who has time? And fancy clothes seem impractical. Maybe they are, but don’t you feel pretty and happy in them? So choose a day when you’re not going to be making too much mess (read: the day you start the garden or finger painting during playgroup are not good days) to dress in a pretty outfit. Do your hair, put on make up, wear earrings. Who cares if you, your husband, and your children are the only ones who see you? You’ll feel happy and confident just knowing that you look good, and that you have beaten that silly stereotype about moms who “let themselves go.” At least for today.



6. Buy a treat just for you at the grocery store.







Photo by Martin L



At the store, you probably spend a lot of time buying treats for your kids – or saying, “No, we are not buying that package of cookies!” But when the kids aren’t looking, sneak a special treat into the cart, just for you. It could be ice cream, or your favorite fancy cheese, or some lox for your Sunday bagels. It doesn’t matter; choose whatever you like the best but never buy for yourself. Then enjoy it before the kids get up or after they go to bed. I used to love doing this when my husband had guy’s nights and my kids were asleep!



7. Watch your favorite show in peace.



This was my other favorite thing to do on my husband’s guy’s nights. I get the remote to myself? Get comfortable, grab your favorite snack, and settle in to watch whatever you love best, alone. And if it’s a love story, it might just make you sappy and sighing and excited about how much you love your husband and your children. That can only be good, right?



8. Read a good book (or magazine).



Who has time to read? But make the time. Take it in that bath with you, or just read during nap time or after your kids are in bed for the night. Sit back and get lost in the fantasy world of a novel, or just someone else’s life (like in a magazine). Make it a fun read, though — parenting tomes don’t count. I read a chapter a night of my current favorite book and it helps me relax and sleep.



9. Have an at-home date night.



Okay, this isn’t completely about you. But most women complain they don’t spend enough time with their husbands, so this will totally fix that. Fix the kids a simple, easy dinner (boxed mac’n’cheese, carrot sticks, and a banana – done) and put them to bed early. Then cook a special dinner just for you two (or, if you’re not the cooking type, ask hubby to step up, or just call your favorite take out place). Eat by candle light, enjoy your favorite movie, or just have a real conversation that isn’t about who is going to pick up the kids at soccer practice or do the grocery shopping. Talk about your hopes and dreams! Bonus? You don’t have to pay a babysitter.



10. Get a massage.



Okay, this one’s not free. And maybe not even that cheap. Of course, if you can talk your husband into giving you the massage — maybe at the end of the at-home date night? But if not, maybe your husband will gift you a massage for Mother’s Day — or just a, “Hey honey, you work really hard and I love you” day. Either way, it will be soooooo relaxing and worth it.



11. Bonus!



Buy yourself a pretty smelling candle and light it whenever you’re feeling stressed. The happy smell and cheerful flicker will lift your mood instantly.



Is pampering yourself doable? Yes — you just have to make time for it. Ask your husband to put the kids to bed tonight, or take them out on a special Dad-and-kids afternoon and steal a bit of time for yourself. And since most of these include frugal items which you probably already have at home, you don’t have to plan in advance. How awesome is that?

10 Ways to Pamper Yourself on a Budget Posted on March 20, 2012 by M2 The Agency...
23:53 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,828




In this guest post, Mary Harris – an Ocean County resident, co-owner of local natural products business Heaven & Earth LLC, professor at Monmouth University, and holistic nutrition student at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, provides you with ways to pamper yourself on a budget.



She writes:

Believe it or not, money does not have to be an item of concern when it comes to pampering yourself. In fact, finding new ways to treat yourself right can be fun and rewarding and help reduce stress. You can even invite family and friends to take part in some of the pampering, if you want to. Here are my top ten tips for pampering yourself on a budget, with a healthy twist!



1. Enjoy a cup of hot tea– Tea is a worldly drink that, in my opinion, has the power to soothe the soul. Teas can be delicious and healthy to boot. Choose your flavor and forbidden of tea (naturally decaffeinated, organic, loose, bagged, black, red, green), brew it in a tea kettle, pour it in a pretty cup, and take your time sipping your worries away.



Bath%20Fizzy-resized-6002. Take a relaxing bath – The power of water is incredible, and baths are just one example. Light a couple of candles in a safe place and draw up a hot bath with your favorite natural soap or bath fizzy close at hand. (Pictured left, Heaven & Earth, LLC’s Lemon Rose Blossom Bath Fizzy).



3. Read a good book – A visit to the library or paperbackswap.com might be in order, because reading can be truly therapeutic and virtually cost-free if planned right. Find a quiet place to enjoy some time each day to read, even if it is just fifteen minutes at a time. Escape into Book Land.



4. Make a homemade facial mask – Healthy facial masks are inexpensive and easy to whip up. One of my favorite recipes for dry skin during the cold winter months is ½ an avocado mixed with ¼ cup of local, raw honey. Mash the ingredients together, mixing well, and apply to clean skin for ten-fifteen minutes and then rinse thoroughly. It is important to try to buy local, raw honey from a sustainable honeybee keeper since it is healthier for us and for our friends the honeybees.



5. Go on an antiquing adventure with a friend or two – Going antiquing or shopping at yard sales, flea markets, and second-hand shops can produce unique and economical décor and items for you and your space; not to mention, you get to meet interesting people who might be able to share a part of history with you. music-resized-600



6. Create the perfect playlist – Make yourself a relaxing, inspirational, and/or fun playlist just for you. Sites like Project Playlist and Spotify are great resources for music and creating customized playlists to enjoy legally and for free.



7. Buy yourself a journal – Find a journal that is a reflection of you. Keep it by your bed and free write happy thoughts, goals, beautiful quotes, and hopes and dreams in the morning when you wake up – and at night before you go to sleep, or whenever you feel motivated to do so.



8. Take pleasure in fruit and chocolate – Buy yourself some organic berries and dark chocolate, prepare them on a fancy plate with a sprig of fresh mint or chocolate drizzle for garnish. Take your time and savor every bite in a comforting space.



9. Sit in silence and just be – Sit or lay down in a comfortable space in silence to just exist, ponder, and focus on breathing and relaxing. Most people do not take time to themselves to try this exercise, but it is well worth it. Some people meditate during quiet moments like this as well.



10. Watch a movie marathon in your pajamas – Whether you rent movies from the library for free or have a Netflix subscription, a movie marathon in your coziest pajamas does not require much money or effort. This is a wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon or a day off from work.



Mary Harris is the Co-Owner of Heaven & Earth, LLC, a small company that creates natural homemade soaps and other natural products for mind, body and spirit. Mary is also a college professor at Monmouth University and is currently studying holistic nutrition and wellness. Mary resides in Bayville with her husband and three dogs. For more tips on living simply, sustainably, and healthfully, visit her blog.

Rebuilding Your Sense of Self...
23:22 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,834

https://omgrey.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/rebuilding-your-sense-of-self/



After the fallout of an abusive relationship or a deep loss (or both), you might find yourself feeling shattered, as if the very person you were is now lying in little, broken pieces in the mud. You may feel tossed aside and abandoned by someone who you trusted above all others. Or perhaps you feel stupid for not seeing things more clearly earlier, and you might be beating yourself up for catching on too late. You might be angry with yourself for missing your ex, even if s/he was abusive to you. Although these feelings are all normal, eventually as you move through the stages of grief, you must begin to rebuild yourself and your fractured self-esteem.



If you were in an abusive relationship and/or were abandoned by a trusted friend, deep seated feelings of shame surface. It may be difficult to look in the mirror because you think that the person you see there is responsible for the pain, the loss, and the shame. You may even think that you are responsible for the relationship ending, chastising yourself that if you had only been a little more patient, or understanding, or fill-in-the-blank things would have worked out differently, even if your ex was the one lying, cheating, deceiving, or abusing you.



There are many forms of abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse can be devastating, especially when one does not recognize it as such. Sam Vaknin has a great article entitled “What is abuse?”



So, yes. Shame. I talked about the shame I felt after a loss in the post “Overcoming Shame.” Nine weeks later…I’m here to tell you that you are not responsible.



It is not your shame.



This is especially true if you have been with an abusive person. Abusive behavior is shameful. Verbal and emotional abuse is shameful. Deception is shameful. Toying with someone is shameful. Treating someone with disrespect is shameful.



Honesty and love are never shameful. Giving yourself to another person is never shameful. Trusting someone is never shameful, even if they prove to be unworthy of that trust.



Still, we have a tendency to take on our abuser’s shame, perhaps it is because we have a sense of integrity and responsibility; but ultimately, it is not our shame nor our responsibility. Once you get far enough along in the grieving process, this will become abundantly clear.



In the mean time, you must rebuild your sense of self. True, you did not fracture yourself, but you are the only one who can repair yourself and your self-esteem. I’m sure you hate to hear those words, but it’s because they’re true…and it does take work. I highly recommend the book Recovery of Your Self-Esteem by Carolynn Hillman, especially if you are a woman. There are a plethora of other books on the subject, as well as those directed specifically at recovering from an abusive relationship.



“Success is being happy first with yourself, and secondly with your life.” ~ Carolynn Hillman.



Hillman goes on to say how so many of us think that once we find that special someone (or if s/he would just come back to us) that our self-esteem would improve. She likens this to trying to care for a plant: “First grow, then I’ll water you.”



She talks about the importance of CARESSing oneself. Her CARESS stands for Compassion, Acceptance, Respect, Encouragement, Support, Stroking. Many of us give these things to others in abundance, but we have more trouble giving them to ourselves.



A book well worth reading.



Finally, the day will come when you are ready to “get back out there,” albeit with a little more caution this time. You most certainly don’t want to do this too soon, as that could be further destructive to your sense of self, especially if you have a tendency to make questionable decisions when over-stressed. You don’t necessarily want to get “under someone else” to get over someone. Certainly not too soon.



Yet, when you’re ready you will know. And then, on a day when you least expect it, someone new will walk into your life. S/he will respect you. Want to know you. Want to spend time with you. S/he will share their life and experiences and fears and dreams with you. Because if they don’t behave in this way, you will know far earlier.



And although your heart is somehow not quite as pure or whole as it was before it had been shattered, it is stronger now with the newly formed scars. With this stronger heart, you will be able to love even more deeply than before. This time, with someone deserving of your affections.





What types of things do you find helpful to maintain/rebuild your self-esteem?



Affirmations? Pampering yourself? Treating yourself? Taking breaks? Giving yourself permission to relax?

Learning to love yourself after an abusive relationship...
23:21 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,835

http://datingasociopath.com/2013/11/06/learning-to-love-yourself-after-an-abusive-relationship/





When you have been abused your sense of self and reality is altered. Whilst you might think there is only one you (in theory there is) there are also three you’s!



How you think others perceive you

How you perceive yourself

How others actually see you

These three senses of self are the real you. They are the three senses of self, how you rate yourself. How you see yourself. Your value and your place in the world. When you have been abused, your sense of you, is distorted. It is distorted by the distorted reality of the abusers mind. Some people ask, have I became a sociopath? I cannot seem to love anymore?



Do you know that this is not about love at all. It is about fear. If you felt positive, and you looked at the three senses of self, you would tell yourself (if you were confident)



Other people are warm towards me. They smile and seem happy when they are in my company. By the way I am treated I know that I am valued.

I am a good enough person. I might not be perfect, I like myself. I love who I am. I am proud of me, and I am proud of my achievements. I am a good person. I value me.

Other people treat me with respect. They seem to listen to me and what I have to say. They call me up and ask me to go out. I am popular with other people. I feel valued and loved I am treated with respect.

If you had not been in an abusive relationship, and you felt good about you. It is possible that all of the statements about you are true. You feel good, you know that other people value you. You make a valuable contribution to life. You love yourself and you know that you are loved.



Living in fear – the sense of self after an abusive relationship



After you have been in an abusive relationship, you might be exactly the same person. Now you are looking at life in a fearful way. You are living your life in fear.



Lets look at the three senses of self after the abusive relationship



Other people don’t seem to bother with me much anymore. I am no fun. I feel small. I know I won’t make a valuable contribution to others, so I keep myself, to myself. Other people have stopped talking to me. I am not invited to events anymore. I think other people are judging me. Other people are different towards me

I don’t feel worthy. I don’t like myself. I am hurting. I don’t want to bother others. I am old/fat/useless/ugly (whatever words your abuser told you that you were). I feel lonely, isolated, depressed. I can see no future. I feel embarrassed and ashamed

We miss the person that you once were, you have changed, were those things said about you true? You don’t seem to like us anymore. You are always sad and negative.

What has changed?



The only thing that has changed is your perception. You are still the same person. Nobody can change your core personality. What has changed is your perception of you and the world around you.



You can choose to look at life in two ways.



Through the eyes of fear

Through the eyes of love

it really is that simple. Life is actually more simple than you think it is. The difficulty after you have been in an abusive relationship, is that you were (forced) to see the world through with their disordered mind. It was their disordered view of the world that has changed you, and your perception of you.



When you are in the relationship with a sociopath, they manipulate you with (fake) love, and control you with fear. After a while you are hurt by the fake love. Believing in love, hurt you. Each time you forgave your partner, when they offered fake love again, it meant that you were hurt again. It became easier to see life their way. If not easier, this is how you lived your life – being controlled through fear.



Different ways that sociopaths control through fear



Making you fear that they will let you down

Fear that you are not good enough to be treated well

Fear to have friends/family your independence

False accusations to start rows – lead you to stop doing things you once loved – to avoid arguments

These and many more that I am sure that you could apply to your own situation.



How to change your world and start loving YOU!!



There is a common saying ‘you are what you think’. It is short and sweet but true. What you need to do is to stop looking at life through the disordered sociopaths eyes – you are FREE… you don’t have to do this anymore. You don’t have to look at life through fear anymore.



Realise that you are breathing OUT toxic things, situations, and the controlling element of your life. Breathing IN FREEDOM!!! …. This is freedom to be you.



Can you remember in the beginning of the relationship. All the wonderful things that the sociopath said to seduce you? If you can, write these things down. These are true words about you. Hold onto them. Can you remember, things that you loved. Things that made you feel happy? Were there things that you enjoyed that you stopped doing?



The only thing holding you back is YOU!!



When you get a negative thought….this is fear based. Change this thought into one that is love. It is that simple. Being in the relationship with a sociopath you didnt have time to think about you and your needs, you were either keeping them happy, or dealing with the endless dramas that they created.



You don’t have to do this anymore. So, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. You can’t expect others to love you, if you cant love yourself. The first step is to forgive yourself!! Its not your fault. Your not stupid. You didn’t deserve this to happen to you. But… again, this is looking at life through fear. Instead change this thought. Instead of feeling bad about what happened, think, what have you learned? Write it down.



The next task, is to start goals to rebuild your life. Remember to make these goals SMART (specified, Measured, acheiveable, realistic, timeframed), what this means is



Specified (WHAT do you want?)

Achieveable (Make sure that its something you can realistically do) – DON’T put I want to fly to the moon next Tuesday :)

Measured (How do you know you have achieved it?)

Timeframed (When is your time frame to complete this goal)

Realistic (how realistic is it that you can achieve the specified goal in the timeframe outlined?)

Making your goals smart, is important. It is important to focus on positivity. Not failing because you made goals that you could never complete. You might feel ‘but I don’t know what I want anymore? I have been so abused I don’t even know who I am anymore!!… this is why it is really important to start writing your list. Just do some things. These goals are designed to make you feel like you are achieving in life. They will keep you focused on YOU and take away your energy thinking about the sociopath (when you do, you go back to their disordered view of the world). You don’t want this. You want to love you!!



Goals can be anything. But always try to put one long term goal. The rest make short term goals. Examples of goals…. (try to think especially of things you loved prior to socio-satan, but couldn’t do with them) for an example



Long term goal – buy a house (be specific – where do you want this house to be, what area, what would you like the house to look like? How big will it be?) – timeframe for doing this – is two years. What do you need to do to achieve this? … get a secure job, start saving so much per week, is it realistic? Yes… if you put the other things in place.



Short term goal – to call ONE friend who meant something to you, who you lost out of your life since being with sociopath…. yes it is achievable its only one person. Time frame to do this…. within five days. (or you could say within 24 hours)…. is it realistic YES….



How will this help me to love myself?



This will almost certainly help you to love yourself as it will reclaim YOU. It will help you to focus on you. More importantly it will help you to bring back into your life so much that you feel you have lost.



Positive people attract positive people. So, if you start by making the pledge to yourself, that you will do the work to focus on you, that you will set goals to achieve what you want to achieve (goals can be as simple as going for a walk, or clearing a cupboard). What you will see happening is the law of attraction. You are putting out to the universe what you want to achieve. Hopefully you should start attracting those things back to you. As this is YOUR list, it is written by you, designed by you, and has the essence of you…. you cannot help to both find yourself…and will start loving yourself again.



Leave the disordered thinking with the sociopath. You are free now. Stick to No Contact, and instead focus on you. Remember, if you have a negative thought about you… STOP!!! Think, is this thought based on fear? How can I switch this thought to love?



Here are some more posts that might be useful



http://earthangelsdiary.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/the-power-of-now-stay-with-the-present/



http://earthangelsdiary.wordpress.com/2013/02/24/important-things-to-remember/



http://earthangelsdiary.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/the-easiest-way-to-achieve-positive-thinking-and-positive-things-into-your-life/



Sorry if those posts appear to repeat the same message. This is because I really do believe that it is true. Don’t let the disordered mind ruin your life and your self love. Take back control for you. Love yourself. I promise you, if you follow these steps, you will start to see change in your life.



Additional things to do to start loving you



Learn a new skill

Take a candlelit bath

Go for a walk to a beautiful place

Call a friend/family member who loves you anyway

Achieve in life – start making goals and achieve those goals

Listen to a music album you love (that doesnt remind you of socio-satan) that you haven’t heard in a while

Call up a friend to go out

Write – its theraputic

Reach out to others and help someone

Smile… even if you smile at one random person on the street you will make their day

Learn to do something new, take a course

Plan a holiday

Look at your career

Love a pet

Art is good therapy

Recognise the beauty in the world, it is a beautiful world. It is all the more beautiful because you are a part of that world.

If you are still struggling, see a professional. A therapist to help you with counselling or CBT therapy. Visit your GP, if you are feeling really low, you might be depressed.



Honestly, loving yourself and being happy is all in the mind. Don’t let someone elses ruined distorted mind ruin your life, and self perception. You are wonderful just the way that you are!! :)

Supporting an Abuse Victim January 11, 2009
23:20 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,836

http://www.climbtherainbow.com/domestic-violence-information/supporting-a-domestic-violence-victim/

Supporting a domestic violence victim can be difficult and confusing. One day they will be telling you their partner is a complete jerk. The next day that same person will be starry eyed and defending them. You will be left scratching your head and thinking “What the?!”



It takes a lot of courage for a domestic violence victim to admit their situation. Many victims have been convinced that the violence is their fault, that they should be trying harder, or that they somehow deserve what is happening to them. Let them know that no matter what, they never, ever deserve to be treated this way. You should know that for a victim to confide in you, they have trusted you enough to tell you something very personal and very painful. That is a huge step for them to take, and they are reaching out for your help. Your friendship and support obviously means a great deal to them.



The immediate reaction to being told by someone close to you that they are being abused is to berate the abuser. Difficult as it may seem, resist this temptation. Consider this. It takes a victim an average of seven times to leave a violent relationship. Seven. Imagine your friend opens up to you the first time she wants to leave her partner. You both agree that he is a good-for-nothing jerk. Then they get back together. The victim is going to feel a little silly and embarrassed when they tell you they are back together with their partner. If they don’t think you understand them or aren’t “on their side,” they will stop confiding in you.



If you find yourself in the situation of helping someone in a violent relationship, educate yourself on domestic violence and the cycle it follows. Listen to your friend without judgment. Don’t belittle their concerns. Don’t try to hustle them on to a more pleasant subject. Don’t tell them what they “should” do. You are not them, and you are not going through it. Don’t try to better their situation with woes about your own partner. Your friend needs all the strength and support they can get right now. Support them wherever you can, as long as you are not placing yourself in danger. If you believe their life is in danger, go to the police.



At times it may be confusing and frustrating to see your friend making progress, only to go back to their partner time after time. Please don’t give up on them. While their actions may seem bizarre to you, try to understand that they are undergoing massive emotional turmoil. Sometimes, all you can do is be a shoulder to cry on until they are ready to leave. Try not to become frustrated with them. Just reassure them that you will always be there to help when they need you. A safe space and your kind words may be a beacon of hope for your lost and lonely friend.



Confiding in you can be a huge relief for your friend, however, unless you have been through the experience yourself, there are things about their situation that you will find difficult to comprehend. It’s also possible that the victim doesn’t completely understand their situation. For this reason you may wish to encourage your friend to seek the help of a professional counselor. Counselors understand the domestic violence cycle and can give an objective view of the situation. They know what to ask and are trained to help.



Find more information about supporting domestic violence victims by visiting the Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre.



Do you have a friend who you think could benefit from reading this article? Fill out the Tell a Friend form below and Climb the Rainbow will email them a link to this article.

Domestic Violence Cycle... January 11, 2009
23:19 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,837

http://www.climbtherainbow.com/domestic-violence-information/the-domestic-violence-cycle/

The domestic violence cycle involves 6 phases: the build-up phase, stand-over phase, explosion phase, remorse phase, pursuit phase, and honeymoon phase. Not all stages are present in every abusive relationship.



1.) Build-Up Phase

The abuser’s anger rises. The relationship does not need to be the cause of the anger.



2.) Stand-Over Phase

Tension is in the air and the victim may have a sense of ‘walking on eggshells.’ They know that a fight is just around the corner, and may alter their behaviour to try to ward it off.



3.) Explosion Phase

The abuse occurs. This can be emotional, sexual, financial or physical.



4.) Remorse Phase

After an incident, the abuser may feel remorse about what they have done, or fear that the victim will tell someone. They may become very apologetic.



5.) Pursuit Phase

The abuser tries to win the victim back by making promises of changing, going to counselling, giving up drugs or alcohol, buying gifts for the victim, and begging her to stay.



6.) Honeymoon Phase

During the honeymoon phase, the abuser is very sweet, charming, affectionate, and loving. The good times of the relationship happen in this time. The honeymoon stage is what makes it so difficult for a victim to leave the abuser. The victim may also reject help from others she has sought in previous phases of the domestic violence cycle. The relationship appears happy and normal. Soon, however, the tension begins to build again, and the cycle re-enters the build-up phase.



My personal opinion is that the abuse follows a downward spiral as opposed to a cycle, as it usually gets more violent and the stages are completed in a shorter space of time. This is how I see it:



domestic violence spiral



You can find further information on the domestic violence cycle on the About.com website.



Do you have a friend who you think could benefit from reading this article? Fill out the Tell a Friend form below and Climb the Rainbow will email them a link to this article.

Types of Domestic Violence January 11, 2009
23:18 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,838




When most people think of domestic violence, they imagine a cowering woman being beaten by her partner. This is physical abuse, but the types of domestic violence are varied and occur in many other forms, including emotional abuse, sexual abuse and financial abuse.



Emotional Abuse

If your partner berates you by calling you names and putting you down, blackmails you with your children, money, safety, him leaving you for someone else, etc. unless you comply with his wishes, lies to your family and friends about you, says things to frighten you, or manipulates and coerces you into doing things you don’t want to, you are being emotionally abused. Often, they will attempt to isolate you from friends, family, and social interaction so you have no support group and no sense of normalcy with which to compare your situation. This type of psychological abuse usually goes hand-in-hand with one or more of the other forms of abuse. Intimate relationships with emotional abusers are very destructive and can quickly erode your sense of self-worth. Your partner may convince you that you deserve the abuse. It can be very difficult to leave an emotionally abusive relationship.



Physical Abuse

Physical abuse includes hitting, punching, hair pulling, shoving, or any form of physical contact with the intention of hurting or intimidating you. Many people don’t realise this, but physical violence also includes them standing over you, damaging property, and actions such as kicking doors to physically intimidate you. People in healthy relationships do not tolerate physical abuse. How many men do you think walk up to women, punch them in the face, and say“G’day! I’m a complete prick! Do you want to be my girlfriend?” It doesn’t happen. It takes a severely battered self-esteem to be hit and not high-tail it out of the relationship at warp speed. Emotional abuse is frequently present in conjunction with physical.



Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse includes unwanted touching, groping, leering, sexual remarks, rape, and being forced to perform other sexual acts. People don’t tend to acknowledge that an intimate partner can sexually assault you. If you don’t want to have sex and your partner forces you, that is RAPE. If you tell your partner to stop touching you and he doesn’t, that’s sexual assault. Sexual abuse from a partner can leave you feeling used and hurt. Remember, just because they are your partner doesn’t mean that they own your body. You do.



Financial Abuse

Financial abuse includes controlling all of the money, using you as a buffer to pay for everything, and not giving you enough to meet basic needs such as food, feminine hygiene, medical, paying bills, or expenses for the children. Financial abuse is demoralizing and can leave a victim feeling helpless.



For more information on the types of domestic abuse, visit Women’s Safety After Separation, Relationships Australia, and the Australian Government Office for Women.



Do you think you might be in an abusive relationship? Use When Love Hurts’ checklist to help define your experience.



Do you have a friend who you think could benefit from reading this article? Fill out the Tell a Friend form below and Climb the Rainbow will email them a link to this article.

Covering Your Tracks... January 11, 2009
23:17 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,839

http://www.climbtherainbow.com/domestic-violence-information/covering-your-tracks/

Domestic violence perpetrators tend to be insecure and paranoid. If you are thinking about leaving an abusive partner, raising their suspicion could put you in danger. If you are reading this on your home computer, you should know that it is possible for them to track what you have been reading if they know how. Don’t panic and close the window, I’m going to give you a couple of tips to help cover your tracks.



Right now, you are using a web browser to view this site. The browser stores information about your session on the Internet, such as what websites you have been to and the dates you have visited them.



Turning off Auto Complete

Auto complete is a feature that automatically finishes web address or search terms you type into a browser. For example, if you go to type www.dogsandcats.com into your browser, as soon as you get to the first “d”, your browser will show all of the websites beginning with “d.” This might include www.donuts.com, www.dogsandcats.com, and www.domesticviolence.com. Whoops! That last one is probably not one you want your partner to see. To turn auto complete off:



In your browser window, click on “Tools”

Click “Internet Options” from the drop-down menu

Click on the “Content” tab

Under the heading for “Auto Complete”, click the “Settings” button.

In this window you can see the type of data being saved. If you don’t want anything saved, uncheck all of these options.

Removing Browser History

Your browser may be collecting information on what web pages you have visited, and at what time. To see what your browser has collected:



In your browser window, click on “View”

Click on “Explorer bar history”

Click on “History”

The tab that opens will show the websites that have been visited for however many days the history is set for.

If you see sites you don’t want your partner to know you have been looking at in there, this is how to remove them:



Click on “Tools”

Click on “Internet Options”

Click on the “General” tab

Under the “Browser History” heading, click delete

Click the option to delete all

Click “Yes” when asked to confirm the delete.

Keyloggers

If your partner is reasonably knowledgeable about computers, it is possible they have installed a keylogger on your computer. Keyloggers can record every keystroke you make. They can take screenshots of what is on your screen regularly. They can log every site you visit, along with times. All of this is done without your knowledge. Basically, if your partner knows more about computers than what you do, you’re better off using a computer that they cannot monitor. Consider going to an Internet café, library, or trusted friend’s house to look up information.



Getting Into Password Protected Computers

Okay, so what if you have separate computers, and your partner can’t possibly get in to yours because you have a super-strong password that they’ll never guess? Think again. If you have a computer running Microsoft Windows, it is ridiculously easy to get into a password protected computer. Here’s an example. Next time you start your computer, press the “F8” key continuously until you are presented with a black screen with white writing. Select the option “Start in Safe Mode.” See that “Administrator” login on your screen? Click that and your in. You don’t even need a password. By default, there isn’t one. Of course, there are ways to stop someone getting into your computer quite that easily, but like I said before, these people are very paranoid. If they know more about computers than you, don’t use one he can monitor.



Recent Documents

What documents have been accessed most recently on your computer? Don’t know? Click on your start menu and hold your mouse over the “My Recent Documents” option. Anything there you don’t want your partner to see? Programs such as CCleaner can clear your electronic breadcrumb trail. There is a link to it on the links page. You don’t want him to know that there are new programs installed for cleaning the computer’s history, so don’t let it install any extras like shortcuts or toolbars. Install the program to the default location. To access CCleaner:



Click on the “Start Menu” (or the “My computer” icon on your desktop)

Click on the “C:” drive

Click on “Program Files”

Click on the “CCleaner” folder

Click on the .exe file. It should look like a red C.

Hang on, if you can access the program that easily, can’t your partner find it too? Yes, they can still find it. But having it three levels deep on your hard drive is much less obvious than having a new bright red icon on your desktop.



Phone

On the subject of monitoring your actions, be aware that any numbers you call will show up on your telephone bill. If your partner’s paranoia is anything like my abusive ex-partner’s, they will probably go through the bill with a fine tooth comb. They may even go to the extent of wire tapping your phone. If possible, use a payphone or phone from a friend’s place.



This is by no means an exhaustive list for covering your tracks. In fact, it barely scratches the surface. The above information will help keep you under the radar of the average Joe or Jane Blow who wants to know what your up to, but doesn’t have the technological understanding or skills to track you effectively. It definitely won’t fool a partner who is competent with computers. Links to useful programs can be found on the links page if you would like to learn more about computer privacy and covering your tracks. Please keep your safety in mind at all times. In fact, if you don’t already know the information presented here, you shouldn’t be using a computer your partner has access to for anything more personal than looking up a quiche recipe.



Do you have a friend who you think could benefit from reading this article? Fill out the Tell a Friend form below and Climb the Rainbow will email them a link to this article.

The “F**k This” Moment in Abusive Relationships December 11, 2011
23:14 Feb 23 2016
Times Read: 1,843

Everyone has had a “f**k this” moment. It’s that moment in which you became painfully aware that you deserve more out of a relationship than what you are getting. Even emotionally-beaten domestic violence victims have fleeting moments where they realize their self-worth.



I clearly remember the night that I was arguing with my abuser when he head-butted me in the face. Despite him being bigger, stronger, unpredictable, intimidating and drunk, something in my brain snapped. I grabbed him by the shirt and and threatened him, instead of the other way around. What I felt in that short space of time was an all-consuming, intense, unadulterated, adrenaline-fueled fury. For that fleeting moment, size, strength, and even danger to my own life became insignificant. I snapped back to the “me” I had been before domestic violence. Before the emotional beatings. Before being paralyzed in the state of learned helplessness. It was at that moment that something deep in my soul finally cried out to me, that no matter how badly I thought of myself, I never, ever deserved to be treated like that.



I’m certainly not the only abuse victim to have reached this critical mass of emotion. Every domestic violence survivor has experienced it to varying degrees. Julia* took a knife to her abuser’s throat after being beaten one too many times. Leanna* saw the fear in her abuser’s eyes as she threatened to stab him while he slept if he ever laid a finger on her children. She would endure his relentless abuse day after day, but she recognized her worth as a mother and a protector of her children to the point that she would have killed him had he harmed them – and he knew it.



This is the “f**k this” moment, more appropriately known as intense cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance occurs when you strongly identify with an outcome that is not yet true. In the case of the domestic violence victim, the outcome is being free of the abusive relationship.



In order for this cognitive dissonance to take place, an abuser has to cross your personal line of respect by treating you worse than you would ever treat yourself. Your brain has to be forced into a position where it can no longer rationalize his behavior against your most deeply held values or beliefs. Once this occurs, you experience a powerful cognitive shift. In that split second, it becomes more painful for you to stay in the relationship than what it would be to leave.



Some women break off the relationship then and there and never go back. This is usually what happens when women with high self-esteem see the first red flag of trouble in their relationships. Women with low self-esteem take longer. I had rock-bottom self-esteem, and it took me another three months after my initial “f**k this” moment for my reality to catch up with my desired outcome. In the case of some women, the process takes years. Some never escape and are either abused for life or are murdered by their abusers.



Abusive relationships manifest when a woman’s internal environment of low self-esteem meets an abuser’s external environment of continuous negative reinforcement. Women with low self-esteem magnify their faults to gigantic proportions while simultaneously disregarding all of the good things about themselves – the exact same thing that the abuser does. The external conditions reinforce the victim’s internal beliefs. She becomes trapped in a state of learned helplessness as her self-image gradually atrophies.



The decision to leave an abusive relationship is not easy, even after a powerful “f**k this” moment. It is NOT simply a case of “well, if he treats her so badly, why doesn’t she just leave?” Making the decision to leave requires tremendous inner strength and courage, as she is making this decision against nearly insurmountable odds. On top of the paralytic state of learned helplessness and the same feelings of loss that everyone feels at the end of a relationship (which are magnified in the unhealthy co-dependence of an abuser-victim relationship), abusers routinely threaten to hunt down and kill victims if they try to escape. They may threaten hurt or kill a victim’s family members, friends, or children. They may threaten to take custody of the victim’s children. On top of this, the victims often have no money and no support network, as the abuser has severed their ties to the world outside of the relationship. These women are stuck in a torturous cycle of being being raped, beaten, burnt, forced to do drugs, and slashed with knives, believing that there is no way out other than to risk their abuser inflicting pain and possibly death upon themselves and everyone they love. It takes the type of courage that most people have never had to summon in their entire lives to leave an established abusive relationship, no matter what the cost.



Don’t think that domestic violence can’t happen to you or that you don’t know anyone that is being or has been abused. You do. Domestic violence is very common, but is still surrounded by such a social taboo that it is not discussed openly. Think about how many women you know personally, then consider that statistically, one in every four of those women has experienced some form of domestic violence in her lifetime. If you want to avoid becoming a statistic yourself, one of the best things you can do is to hold yourself in high regard. Make sure you have high self-esteem and high standards that you will hold yourself and your partner to before you even consider starting a relationship. Your relationship standard should never be, “well, he puts me down and calls me names and embarrasses me in front of my friends and family, but he doesn’t hit me so it’s okay”. NO! Your standard should be “I absolutely refuse to tolerate anyone in my life who doesn’t treat me with the utmost respect, love, honesty, and kindness. I deserve the BEST, and anyone who gives me less than that can take a long walk off a short pier!”



Ladies – please don’t wait for an abuse-induced “f**k this” moment before you start to realize your self-worth. You absolutely do NOT have to tolerate men treating you badly. There are plenty of good men out there who would be honored to date you and treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Have your “f**k this” moment right now. Dump the losers who don’t respect you and hold out for one of the great men who will.

Why Some People Love Horror Movies While Others Hate Them By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
20:03 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,866

Why Some People Love Horror Movies While Others Hate ThemSome people can’t get enough of scary movies. They’ve seen scores of scary films – over and over. They catch horror flicks on opening night. They have DVD collections at home.



Personally, I wouldn’t be caught dead watching a scary movie. They freak me out, leaving me unsettled for days — the images a record player in my mind. In fact, I have a hard enough time sitting through the scarier scenes of “Sons of Anarchy.” (I watch it with my boyfriend, and sometimes need to leave the room.)



With Halloween upon us — the prime season for horror films — I was curious to find out why some people savor scary movies. And others, like me, can’t stand them.





The Excitation Transfer Process



According to Glenn Sparks, Ph.D, a professor and associate head of the Brian Lamb School of Communication at Purdue University, one reason for the appeal is how you feel after the movie. This is called the excitation transfer process. Sparks’s research found that when people watch frightening films, their heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increases.



After the film is over, this physiological arousal lingers, Sparks said. (We’re just not aware of it.) That means that any positive emotions you experience – like having fun with friends – are intensified, he said. Instead of focusing on the fright you felt during the film, you recall having a great time. And you’ll want to come back for more, he said.



However, if your experience was negative, you might not. For instance, let’s say you were on a date that wasn’t going well or you got into a car accident on your way home, Sparks said. Again, because your lingering arousal heightens any emotions you experience, the negative feelings might sway you to skip a scary flick in the future.



Different Wiring



Some people are simply wired to enjoy high levels of physiological arousal, Sparks said. According to the literature, he said, about 10 percent of the population enjoys the adrenaline rush. (Not surprisingly, these individuals also love rollercoasters. Not surprisingly, I do not.)



Similarly, wiring may explain why others hate scary movies. Specifically, some individuals have a harder time screening out unwanted stimuli in their environment, Sparks said. For instance, they might be hypersensitive to the temperature in a room or the tag on their shirt. These same individuals are more likely to have intense physiological reactions to horror films.



Novelty



Some people turn to scary movies because they’re novel. All of us are wired to pay attention to anomalies in our environment, Sparks said. Since danger disrupts routine, curiosity about change is important for survival. Sparks equated the pull of frightening films to stopping at the scene of a gory accident: “You don’t see that every day,” he said.



Something else you don’t see are the visual effects, which tend to be fantastic, he said. Some people get enamored with effects and like to figure them out, said Joanne Cantor, Ph.D, Professor Emerita and Outreach Director at the Center for Communication Research at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.



Still, negative emotions can trump novelty, Sparks said. If we experience high levels of fright, seeing a scary movie just isn’t worth it. “Negative emotions are stored in the amygdala [which] in contrast to positive emotions are particularly resistant to being extinguished,” Sparks said.



Individuals might “suffer lingering emotional fallout if something in the environment reminds them of a scene,” he said. After seeing “Jaws,” some people stopped swimming in the ocean and felt eerie about lakes and pools, Cantor said.



Others might avoid films that come too close to home. Students have told Sparks they avoid films featuring a terrorized babysitter because they babysit.



Gender Socialization



Research suggests that more men enjoy scary movies. This might be because men are socialized to be brave and enjoy threatening things, Sparks said. Men may derive social gratification from not letting a scary film bother them, Sparks said. It’s the idea of mastering something threatening, he said.



“Men often like [scary films] as date movies because women are more likely to seek physical closeness when they’re scared, and men can show off their strength and bravery,” Cantor said. (This is aptly called “the cuddle effect.”)



In one study males liked a horror movie more when they saw it with a female who was scared, and females liked the movie more when they saw it with a male who wasn’t scared.



Other Reasons



Some people may like scary movies because they enjoy the adrenaline rush of being scared while being safe, Cantor said. “Some people like anything that gets their minds off their own problems,” she said.



Individuals who are highly empathetic may not like scary movies, she said.



Kids & Scary Movies



Parents need to be especially careful about what their kids watch, according to both experts. Cantor’s research found that college students who watched scary movies or shows before 14 years old had trouble sleeping and felt anxious about typically safe activities or stopped engaging in them altogether. (You can download the full text here.)



“Until the age of 5 to 7, seeing is believing,” said Cantor, who wrote the book Teddy’s TV Troubles specifically for calming down kids after they’ve been scared by the media.



Even if it’s make-believe, she said, it’s still scary for young kids. For older kids, realistic threats, such as kidnappings and child molestation, are scary, she said. Teens, like adults, are more scared over abstract threats, such as disease and the supernatural, she said.



“Parents need to pay attention to how their children react to movies before deciding if a particular show is right for them. Intense fright reactions are much easier to prevent than to undo,” Cantor said.

Why Do Some Brains Enjoy Fear? The science behind the appeal of haunted houses, freak shows, and physical thrills. ALLEGRA RINGO OCT 31, 2013
20:02 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,867

P.T. Barnum's "Fiji Mermaid" was featured in 19th-century sideshows, billed as a mummified half-mammal-half-fish. It was actually the torso and head of a juvenile monkey sewn to the body of a fish. (Wikimedia)

This time of year, thrillseekers can enjoy horror movies, haunted houses, and prices so low, it’s scary. But if fear is a natural survival response to a threat, or danger, why would we seek out that feeling?



Dr. Margee Kerr is the staff sociologist at ScareHouse, a haunted house in Pittsburgh that takes all year to plan. She also teaches at Robert Morris University and Chatham University, and is the only person I’ve ever heard referred to as a “scare specialist.” Dr. Kerr is an expert in the field of fear. I spoke with her about what fear is, and why some of us enjoy it so much.



Why do some people like the feeling of being scared, while others don’t?



Not everyone enjoys being afraid, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that no one wants to experience a truly life-threatening situation. But there are those of us (well, a lot of us) who really enjoy the experience. First, the natural high from the fight or flight response can feel great. There is strong evidence that this isn’t just about personal choice, but our brain chemistry. New research from David Zald shows that people differ in their chemical response to thrilling situations. One of the main hormones released during scary and thrilling activities is dopamine, and it turns out some individuals may get more of a kick from this dopamine response than others do. Basically, some people’s brains lack what Zald describes as “brakes” on the dopamine release and re-uptake in the brain. This means some people are going to really enjoy thrilling, scary, and risky situations while others, not so much.



To really enjoy a scary situation, we have to know we're in a safe environment.

Lots of people also enjoy scary situations because it leaves them with a sense of confidence after it’s over. Think about the last time you made it through a scary movie, or through a haunted house. You might have thought, “yes! I did it! I made it all the way through!” So it can be a real self-esteem boost. But again, self-scaring isn’t for everyone, and there are lots of psychological and personal reasons someone may not enjoy scary situations. I’ve talked to more than a handful of people who will never set foot in a haunted house because they went to a haunt at a young age and were traumatized. I always recommend parents thoroughly check out the content and rating of a haunted attraction before bringing a child. The chemicals that are released during fight-or-flight can work like glue to build strong memories (“flashbulb memories”) of scary experiences, and if you’re too young to know the monsters are fake, it can be quite traumatic and something you’ll never forget, in a bad way.



What happens in our brains when we’re scared? Is it different when we’re scared “in a fun way” versus being actually afraid?





To really enjoy a scary situation, we have to know we’re in a safe environment. It’s all about triggering the amazing fight-or-flight response to experience the flood of adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine, but in a completely safe space. Haunted houses are great at this—they deliver a startle scare by triggering one of our senses with different sounds, air blasts, and even smells. These senses are directly tied to our fear response and activate the physical reaction, but our brain has time to process the fact that these are not “real” threats. Our brain is lightning-fast at processing threat. I’ve seen the process thousands of times from behind the walls in ScareHouse—someone screams and jumps and then immediately starts laughing and smiling. It’s amazing to observe. I’m really interested to see where our boundaries are in terms of when and how we really know or feel we’re safe.



What qualities do “scary things” share across cultures, or does it vary widely?



One of the most interesting things about studying fear is looking at the social constructions of fear, and learned fears versus those fears that appear to be more innate, or even genetic. When we look across time and across the world, we find that people truly can become afraid of anything. Through fear conditioning (connecting a neutral stimulus with a negative consequence) we can link pretty much anything to a fear response. Baby Albert, of course, is the exemplar case of this. The poor child was made deathly afraid of white rabbits in the 1920’s, before researchers were required to be ethical. So we know that we can learn to fear, and this means our socialization and the society in which we are raised is going to have a lot to do with what we find scary.



Things that violate the laws of nature are terrifying.

Each culture has its own superhero monsters—the Chupacabra (South America), the Loch Ness Monster, the Yōkai (supernatural monsters from Japanese folklore), Alps (German nightmare creatures)—but they all have a number of characteristics in common. Monsters are defying the general laws of nature in some way. They have either returned from the afterlife (ghosts, demons, spirits) or they are some kind of non-human or semi-human creature. This speaks to the fact that things that violate the laws of nature are terrifying. And really anything that doesn’t make sense or causes us some sort of dissonance, whether it is cognitive or aesthetic, is going to be scary (axe-wielding animals, masked faces, contorted bodies).





Another shared characteristic of monsters across the globe is their blurred relationship with death and the body. Humans are obsessed with death; we simply have a hard time wrapping our mind around what happens when we die. This contemplation has led to some of the most famous monsters, with each culture creating their own version of the living dead, whether it’s zombies, vampires, reanimated and reconstructed corpses, or ghosts. We want to imagine a life that goes on after we die. Or better yet, figure out a way to live forever. Again, though, that would violate the laws of nature and is therefore terrifying. So while the compositions and names of the monsters are different, the motivations and inspirations behind their constructions appear across the globe.



What are some early examples of people scaring themselves on purpose?



Humans have been scaring themselves and each other since the birth of the species, through all kinds of methods like storytelling, jumping off cliffs, and popping out to startle each other from the recesses of some dark cave. And we’ve done this for lots of different reasons—to build group unity, to prepare kids for life in the scary world, and, of course, to control behavior. But it’s only really in the last few centuries that scaring ourselves for fun (and profit) has become a highly sought-after experience.



My favorite example of one of the early discoveries of the joys of self-scaring is actually found in the history of roller coasters. The Russian Ice Slides began, not surprisingly given the name, as extended sleigh rides down a snowy mountain in the mid-17th century. Much like they do today, riders would sit in sleds and speed down the mountain, which sometimes included additional man-made bumps to make it a little more exciting. The Russian Ice Slides became more sophisticated throughout the 18th century, with wooden beams and artificial mountains of ice. Eventually instead of ice and sleds, tracks and carriages were constructed to carry screaming riders across the “Russian Mountains.” Even more exhilarating terror came when innovative creators decided to paint scary scenes on the walls that shocked and thrilled riders as they passed by. These came to be known as “Dark Rides.” People were terrified, but they loved it.





We haven’t just enjoyed physical thrills—ghost stories were told around the campfire long before we had summer camps. The Graveyard Poets of the 18th century, who wrote of spiders, bats, and skulls, paved the road for the gothic novelists of the 19th century, like Poe and Shelly. These scary stories provided, and continue to deliver, intrigue, exhilaration, and a jolt of excitement to our lives.



The 19th century also brought the precursors to the haunted attraction industry. Sideshows or “Freak Shows,” and the museums and houses of “oddities” have existed since the mid-1800’s. Perhaps the most notable is Barnum’s American Museum, operated by P.T. Barnum, best known for being half of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. His museum contained things like monkey torsos with fish tails attached, and other characters meant to frighten and startle. Much like modern haunts, customers would line up to challenge themselves and their resilience and dare each other to enter the freak shows and face the scary scenes and abnormalities. The haunted attraction industry has come a long way from fish tails and plastic bats—modern haunts incorporate Hollywood-quality sets, and a crazy amount of modern technology all designed to scare us silly.



There’s a common belief that if you meet somebody for the first time in a fearful situation, you'll feel more attached or more attracted to that person than you would if you'd met them in a low-stress situation. Is there any truth to that?



One of the reasons people love Halloween is because it produces strong emotional responses, and those responses work to build stronger relationships and memories. When we’re happy, or afraid, we’re releasing powerful hormones, like oxcytocin, that are working to make these moments stick in our brain. So we’re going to remember the people we’re with. If it was a good experience, then we’ll remember them fondly and feel close to them, more so than if we were to meet them during some neutral unexciting event. Shelley Taylor discussed this in her article Tend and Befriend: Biobehavioral Bases of Affiliation Under Stress. She shows that we do build a special closeness with those we are with when we’re in an excited state, and more importantly, that it can be a really good thing. We’re social and emotional beings. We need each other in times of stress, so the fact that our bodies have evolved to make sure we feel close to those we are with when afraid makes sense. So yes, take your date to a haunted house or for a ride on a roller coaster, it’ll be a night you’ll never forget.

Psychology of Fear: Why do we love watching horror movies? By Ritu Singh
20:01 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,868




Most of us can't get enough of horror movies! These movies have delighted audiences all over the world and entertained our basest instincts with horrifying gore, monsters, insanity and the supernatural. What is with the scary haunted houses, uncanny settings, eerie sounds that titillate our senses so much? Do we love the fear and violence that these movies present us with? For many of us, being scared out of our wits seems like a fun concept!



As we watch such scary movies, our palms turn sweaty, skin temperature drops, muscles become tense and blood pressure spikes. The more these things happen, the more fear we experience and the more we claim to enjoy the movie.







So, why are people drawn to it? Following are some possible theories and studies to explain why do these movies fascinate us:



Catharsis: Long back, Greek Philosopher Aristotle posited that people were attracted to scary stories and violent dramatic plays because it gave them a chance to purge their negative emotions- a process he called catharsis. So, if we go by his theory, that means we watch violent movies and play violent video games to release the pent up feelings of aggression.

Psychoanalytic theory by Freud and Jung: To Freud horror was a manifestation of the “uncanny,” reoccurring thoughts and feelings that have been repressed by the ego but which seem vaguely familiar to the individual. Jung, on the other hand, argued that horror gained its popularity from the fact that it touched on important archetypes or primordial images that he said resided in the collective unconscious.

Curiosity: As human beings born with a super active brain, we are a curious lot. We loved to be shocked and what drives this is morbid curiosity.

Intense emotions: Some people like to watch horror because they want to vicariously experience complex and extreme emotional content.

Adrenaline rush: When we watch scary movies, we can face your fears, but since we know that it's just a movie we don't have to face anything in reality. For the time being, it tickles certain fight or flight responses that are entertaining, the release of tension, over and over until a hopefully cathartic ending. So, just for a short span of time, we are willing to endure the terror in order to enjoy a euphoric sense of relief at the end. We seem to enjoy the adrenaline rush of being scared while being safe.

Excitation transfer process: This is another important theory about scary movies. According to Glenn Sparks, one reason for the appeal is how you feel after the movie. Sparks’s research found that when people watch frightening films, their heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increases. After the film is over, this physiological arousal lingers, he said. That means that any positive emotions you experience are intensified. Instead of focusing on the fright you felt during the film, you recall having a great time. And you’ll want to come back for more, he said.

Excitement: A scientist also says that people enjoy excitement, even if it’s from a negative source, otherwise, things could be pretty dull.

Sensation-seeking: Other theories relate to the sensation-seeking personality types. People who seek higher levels of arousal thoroughly enjoy the response -heightened feelings of awareness when their bodies go through intense experiences. These experiences range from watching horror films to skydiving and bungee jumping.

Dispositional Alignment: People seem to enjoy the violence in horror movies when it is directed against those they believe are deserving of such treatment. This observation gave rise to dispositional alignment theory in which it is hypothesized that a person’s emotional reactions to events portrayed in a horror film can be traced back to the dispositional feelings they have for the person involved.

Love them, hate them but these movies will continue to feed our primal need to become scared!

Shamballa (MDH) Multidimensional Healing Defined: As Quoted by the Creator of Shamballa Multidimensional Healing:
19:51 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,870

What is it? I will try to explain in a few simple words. A number of years ago the being I know as Germain came to me and asked me if I would like to be involved in a new project. I was already very busy at the time and so said no, without even asking what the project was, and he said "It's Reiki". My reply was "It's not for me". I could not see what use Reiki was as I had been healing with my hands since I was a small boy, and over the years, I had taught many others how to facilitate healing.



Germain asked me to listen to what he had to say. He told me that he was the person who had incarnated Reiki on the earth during the time of early Atlantis and that it was a system of empowerment through LOVE. He explained that it was a way of connecting with the Source through your I AM presence or higher self. He told me the story of how he and his friends had left the area they lived in, before the end times of that era, and how he had given some beings who lived in the land we now know as Tibet, a number of symbols to see how they would use them. He said these people did not use the symbols for the benefit of humanity, but rather kept them to themselves to enjoy their power. He went on to say that the people of India had some knowledge of the symbols as well.



But for all intent and purposes, Reiki, was lost to the world until it was re- discovered by a Japanese fellow called Dr. Usui. Here is the difference between Usui, Reiki, and Shamballa Multi-Dimensional Healing. First of all, the Shamballa system is a complete system, containing the full 352 symbols given to Germain while he was a high priest in Atlantis. Second, although Reiki has been learned by tens of thousands of people and has helped many, many people, unfortunately, over the years, it has turned into a very controlled system ( you must do this, you must do that ) and generally requires a great deal of money to learn. Shamballa is not like that. You are asked to take your own power back and work in accordance with Divine will. You are asked to empower the people you work with, your clients and students by passing on the attunements (if you take the master or teachers course ) and to not give your power away to Reiki, or to anything else.



Shamballa is based on the belief that all beings have been attuned to Reiki in the past and it is now being reawakened for the benefit of mankind and for world healing. Shamballa operates on a higher vibration plane and therefore provides energy transfers at a much faster rate and intensity. Shamballa Multidimensional Healing assists in reconnecting you to the full expression of your being, so that you can experience fulfillment in every aspect of your life. This includes but is not limited to your health, finances, relationships, and career. Shamballa Multidimensional Healing is a spiritual practice taught as a form of energy healing.

There are 352 symbols in the Shamballa system, although not all have been manifested on Earth at this time. When you are working on a client the symbols you need will be revealed to you

Four Makeup Tricks Inspired by Evolutionary Psychology Here, makeup tips men (and women) are biologically hardwired to go nuts over — bringing out attractive qualities really can be an exact science! AMBER FEB 24, 2015
19:43 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,872

How can I attract thee? Let me count the ways . . .

How can I attract thee? Let me count the ways . . .

When I was an intern at Cosmo, I spent a lot of time finding scientific studies for editors to use in sex columns. I wouldn’t recommend putting too much stock into living your life based on the principles of evolutionary psychology, but it’s fun to see how wacky facts are supported by science.



Evolutionary psychology is based on the idea that we’re animals — biologically driven in our dating choices by pre-programmed mate selectivity. This kind of thinking is dated and doesn’t account for obvious realities like non-heterosexual relationships, folks who aren’t looking to make babies with the next available applicant, and all the thinking we do with our homo sapien brains.



But some evolutionary psychology facts have been wildly upheld in academic circles for years and, because I like a little variety in my daily beauty regimen, here are four beauty tricks supported by actual science that are irresistible to humans. (Whether or not you’re looking to reel in a member of the opposite sex, these techniques are worth a try.)



Urban Decay Naked Illuminated in Aura, $29; MAKE UP FOR EVER Compact Shine On in Pink Porcelain, $30; Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Water, $32.

Urban Decay Naked Illuminated in Aura, $29; MAKE UP FOR EVER Compact Shine On in Pink Porcelain, $30; Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Water, $32.

Humans have a visceral reaction to acne, partially because skin infection may denote a disturbance of the production of sex hormones. For this psychology-inspired look, I ditched my usual full-coverage look and went with something lighter since whole point of this post is to help you bewitch the eye (and the mind) of the beholder.



I started with the ultra-moisturizing Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Water. While pointing a spray bottle at my face took some getting used to (my corgi gets sprayed with water when he’s naughty and, during the first few Primer Water applications, I felt like I had done something wrong), this product gives me the easiest, breeziest born-with-it (did you catch how subversive that was?) look and erases the need for a finishing powder.



I feel naked without concealer, but I think that's kind of the point. 

I feel naked without concealer, but I think that's kind of the point.

Instead of layering concealers and luminzers like I usually do, I applied a bit of MAKE UP FOR EVER Compact Shine On to my cheekbones and wrapped it all up with a delicate dusting of Urban Decay Naked Illuminated instead of my usual liquid illuminzer, because, again, we want to look accidentally ethereal, not vampy.



e.l.f. Studio Eyebrow Kit, $3; Make Up Forever Aqua Brow (25 Ash) Kit, $38.

e.l.f. Studio Eyebrow Kit, $3; Make Up Forever Aqua Brow (25 Ash) Kit, $38.

William Blake went on and on about symmetry being "fearful" and whatever, but humans are naturally drawn to symmetrical faces — no matter their sexual orientation. Scientists theorize that facial symmetry indicates good physical health and an absence of mutations, parasites, and/or toxins in the body (a.k.a. A+ genetic material), so it’s not surprising that studies have shown that human subjects consistently rate more symmetrical faces as more attractive.



Truly symmetrical faces don’t really exist, although you can flip through any fashion magazine to see what an almost perfectly symmetrical face looks like. Most models are facially beautiful because of symmetry. So there’s that.



While we can’t add symmetry to our faces naturally, we can create the illusion of it by creating contours and making precise shapes with makeup. If you’re bored to death with contouring — and I know, many folks aren’t diehard believers like me — you can shape up your eyebrows to create a more symmetrical look.



My face is not symmetrical, but my brows are.

My face is not symmetrical, but my brows are.

Currently, my favorite brow shaper is the Make Up Forever Aqua Brow Kit. It comes in a light ash brown that blends my dark brows a little better with my (New! Improved?) hair. My second favorite brow all-in-one is made by e.l.f. and is entirely top notch. Both brands come with a tiny brow brush and a comb. I brush my unruly brows up and then, using teeny tiny Thumbelina-size strokes, define the natural shape of my brows.



(Ignore my very vague technique and use the far superior tutorials here, here, and here.)



Napoleon Perdis 'China Doll' Gel Eyeliner, $25; NARS Soft Touch Shadow Pencil in Empire, $25; Marc Jacobs Beauty Twinkle Pop Eye Stick in Volver, $28; Givenchy Noir Couture Volume Mascara, $33.

Napoleon Perdis 'China Doll' Gel Eyeliner, $25; NARS Soft Touch Shadow Pencil in Empire, $25; Marc Jacobs Beauty Twinkle Pop Eye Stick in Volver, $28; Givenchy Noir Couture Volume Mascara, $33.

Guess what? Studies show that the human preference for large eyes is present as early as five years old. In addition to size, eyes with a darker limbal ring (the dark ring around the iris) are an indicator of youthfulness and virility.



My formula for large and luminous eyes is as follows: a (long lashes) + b (dark upper rim) + c (light lower rim) = perfection. Let’s explore, shall we?



Do not stab yourself in the eye. 

Do not stab yourself in the eye.

a) Long Lashes: I’m currently rocking lash extensions courtesy of Wink Brow Bar. (The staff at the Greenwich Avenue location is entirely responsible for my vain and conspicuous upward glances in most of these pictures.) I love my new lashes and I like to touch them to my eyebrows and I’m not sorry. If you don’t want to lie completely still for one and a half hours while someone adheres tiny hairs to your eyelids with glue and sharp tools, any lengthening mascara in blackest black will do.



b) Dark Upper Rim: I didn’t know until recently that using a soft cream eyeliner — I am very much enamored with NARS Soft Touch Shadow Pencil at the moment — on the upper rim of your eye thickens up your lash line. The actual application process is a little tricky — kind of like putting on contact lenses — as I’ve awkwardly illustrated in the above image. Please take good care of any eyeliner you use on your delicate inner rims and don’t share eye makeup with anyone (obvs) because eye infections don’t look good on anyone.



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c) Light Lower Rim: A white lower rim gives your eyes the illusion of being wide open, even when you’re puffy, exhausted, or completely hung over. My method is to VERY CAREFULLY use an angled brush to swipe along Napoleon Perdis 'China Doll' Gel Eyeliner along the rim of my inner eye, and round it off with a swipe of Marc Jacobs Beauty Twinkle Pop Eye Stick just below my lash line.



Ta da! 

Ta da!

Stila Convertible Color in Poppy, $25; Bite Beauty cashmere lip cream in Bordeaux, $28.

Stila Convertible Color in Poppy, $25; Bite Beauty cashmere lip cream in Bordeaux, $28.

This is my favorite evolutionary psychology-inspired look in part because I love products like Stila Convertible Color that have multiple uses and partially because I like the idea of making periods sexier. Yup, red lips and flushed cheeks signal well-oxygenated blood, good cardiac and respiratory health and — get ready for it — ovulation, which, scientists have postulated for a long time, is dead sexy.



I'm wearing Poppy on my lips AND cheeks — these little compacts work mega-overtime. 

I'm wearing Poppy on my lips AND cheeks — these little compacts work mega-overtime.

To get a flushed look, I used Stila Convertible Color on my lips and cheeks. It’s a cream that can easily be applied with your fingertips and is sheer enough to layer on for a more dramatic look. If you’re a sucker for a bold lip, this study suggests that richer reds signal greater fertility. I’m a self-proclaimed NARSissist, but Bite Beauty Cashmere Lip Cream is the best way if you want highly saturated color even on the days when your lips are cracked and thirsty.

Why Are Men Attracted to Women Who Wear Makeup? BY ADAM SINICKI
19:41 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,873




Those with any interest in psychology will be familiar with the idea of 'evolutionary' psychology. This is basically a set of theories that describes our behaviour in terms of evolution and survival value – if a particular behaviour or trait helped us to survive in the wild, then it would have been selected for by natural selection and would have persisted. Those 'maladaptive' traits meanwhile would gradually die out.

While there is some debate regarding particular evolutionary explanations of human behaviour, one area where it is particularly reliable is in describing sexual behaviour. Seeing as sex is the main 'agent' of evolution in many ways, our sexual preferences and behaviours are usually very easy to predict based on what we know of evolution.

So with that in mind then, what does evolutionary psychology have to say about makeup? Seeing as women would have been unlikely to wear much lipstick back when we were still going by names like 'Urg'.

Contrast

There are many theories as to why men like women who wear makeup, but some are more effective than others in attempting to explain the connection.

In one study by Richard Russell (2009) (here), it was found that men found women more attractive who had more contrast in their faces: meaning redder lips, against darker hair and perhaps paler skin. The explanation for this is that contrast a) made women look more feminine and b) made them look younger. Younger women are more likely to have redder lips owing to better circulation, while women are generally paler and demonstrate more contrast. By using makeup women can increase the amount of contrast in their faces and thus increase their apparent femininity, youth and health.

There is another advantage to contrast in the face as well, which is that it makes the features stand out more over a long distance. This in turn means a woman can better catch the eye of a man, even across a room.

Health

Makeup can also be used to make women look healthier in other ways too. For instance concealer and foundation can help women's skin to look less blemished, thereby creating an impression of a more even skin tone which is once again indicative of better circulation.

At the same time, using makeup can also increase the apparent symmetry in the face of women. By hiding blemishes and using contouring techniques etc., women are able to remove asymmetrical features or at least hide them. This in turn suggests better genetic health, as unconsciously we presume asymmetry to be indicative of an inability of the cells to make exact copies when reproducing via mitosis.

Attention

Wearing lipstick and nail varnish also draws men's eyes to the lips and the hands. These are both areas of the face and body that we consider as being intimate and sensual, and as such drawing attention there can help to make men more aroused.

At the same time, drawing attention to specific features can also draw attention away from other features. If a woman is less confident about her eyes, she can use lipstick to focus attention on her lips instead – and vice versa. This way a woman can show off her best features in order to increase her apparent attractiveness.

Finally, using eye-shadow or lipstick can make the eyes and lips appear larger. As large eyes and lips are considered to be attractive features, this can help to make her face appear more conventionally attractive overall.

Arousal

There is also a theory that makeup may make women appear more aroused and more ready for intercourse. When aroused, our pupils will dilate making our eyes look bigger, and blood will rush to our lips making them look redder. This can be taken as a sign by the male that the woman is interested in intercourse, which in turn makes her appear more attractive.

There is even a theory that lipstick is designed to make the lips appear more like the labia – which also redden as a woman becomes more aroused.

The Colour Red

Interestingly, the choice of colour might also work on an even more basic level: that is to say that the colour red on its own may be somewhat rousing to men (here is the study). In this study, women simply wearing the colour red or using it in makeup versus other colours would result in them being rated as more attractive. This may again be related to fertility, blood flow and arousal: as the colour red is used to attract males in other species of primates too. This could even be the basis for the association held between the colour red and romance.

It's also interesting to note that the colour red has an excitatory effect and can raise heart rate and blood pressure even in a non-sexual context.

Social

There's also another social of psychology that may have something to say on the matter – which is social psychology. Social psychology looks at how our social environment affects our thoughts and preferences, and it's easy to see how makeup could come to be associated with femininity and attractiveness. These days the media shows us many images of attractive women, and many of them are depicted wearing makeup. It's not surprising then that an association may have formed.

Wearing makeup could also be seen as a way for women to communicate to men that they are interested in finding a partner. They have made themselves look attractive for men (or at least that is the assumption) and men in turn respond because they like the idea that the woman wants to look good for them.

Finally it could just be that wearing a bold red lipstick or dark eye-shadow demonstrates confidence. As the woman isn't afraid to stand out and draw attention to herself this suggests that she must be confident in the way she looks and not shy of attention. Ultimately confidence is one of the things that both genders are most attracted to, and if you can carry yourself with confidence then you will pretty much be certain that people will find you attractive.

Color Psychology: Make-up for your eyes Updated on July 19, 2011
19:39 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,874






The Eyes Are The Window to The Soul



And you only have a couple of seconds to make a great impression!



Color Psychology can help you choose the make up to use in order to get the right impression. Do you want to nail that job interview? Make quick progress on a first date? Prove to people that you are a caring and warm person? Do you want to look powerful and in control?



Choosing the wrong make-up can in fact make people view you in the way you were trying to avoid! Below are colors that you can use around your eyes and the how they affect the person viewing you. Using this information can help you achieve the personality traits you want to highlight and avoid the ones that you wish to conceal!





Black



What's the go to color for eyeliner? Typically women will grab their black eye-liner when they wish to make their eyes stand out.



So what are you exactly saying with your black eyeliner and/or eyeshadow?



Black suggests authority and power - especially around the eyes. Despite it's apparent lack of color (it is in fact all the colors mixed together ), black is most often seen as a cooler color. Black is also seen as a stable, strong color.



Strong uses of black ( thick eyeliner, blackened color in the crease ) are best for positions of power - either in the work place or as a suggestion of domination in a relationship. It is also a good color to use for a night on the town when you do not want to seem vulnerable.



Subtle uses of black ( thin eyeliner, light black used in the crease ) are best when in a position when you want to suggest power and authority. These, for example, would be job interviews, first dates, a night on the town.



Black should be avoided in instances of care-taking. If your job requires you to be a care-taker or to be warm and welcoming, black should not be used. Instead, opt for warm colors: like brown.





Brown



Brown is a stable, reliable color. When you apply brown to your eyes you assert that you are trustworthy, dependable, and humble.



Brown is a great color to use when you are unsure of exactly what is expected of you - in any case, presenting yourself as reliable, dependable, and humble are great qualities. In job interviews, it'll show that you are a hard-working employee. When positioned as a care-taker, it will show that you can be depended on. When in a first date situation, it shows that you are a great candidate for a long term relationship.



Browns should be avoided if you wish to no longer maintain contact with the person viewing you.





Red



Let me just say that red around the eyes should be avoided at all costs. It makes the eyes appear puffy, tired and bloodshot. None of these are qualities that you would ever want to portray - unless you're doing some acting bit.



I will say, that red provides the viewer with a faster heartbeat and the feeling of excitement. Red can be included in your make-up look if you wish to portray the idea of excitement, but it should never be applied around the eyes as an everyday makeup look.



What'd my momma say? Never say Never? Well okay:



Acquired skill with make-up may allow you to make a fabulous going out on the town, ready for some excitement look that includes red. Using a primer to avoid fall out, and crisp lines will help the wearer to avoid the worn-out look blended reds and red shadow fall-out can create.



Avoid red around the eyes for job interviews, the workplace, and positions in which one is required to be nurturing.





Blue



Ah blue, the color that is frequently considered a "favorite".



Blue - generally - is seen as a loyal, trustworthy and peaceful color.



Blue eyeshadow can look great and reflect a great personality - the only issue is that blue often has multiple personalities.



For Example:



Grey-blues and some pastel shades of blue can make the wearer appear cool and uncaring. These are stable colors that work great in the work place, positions of power, job interviews for jobs in which the desired applicant is ruthless yet dependable. These shades should be avoided in positions where the desired look is warm and caring.



Bright blues and royal blues and "calm" ocean-y blues appear trustworthy. They are tranquil and peaceful. These colors are great for any occasion that you want to appear loyal, trustworthy, and calm.



Blues should be avoided if the wearer wants to portray authority and power.





Green



Green is all about nature - it is also the easiest color for the eye to take in.



Due to it's strong suggestion of nature: green is refreshing, and dark green are considered refreshingly conservative. The color green is believed to be able to help people during stress relax.



If you're in a position where you must comfort people and help them to feel at ease, wearing green around the eyes can help you not only achieve that goal, but make your appear as though you're great at doing it!



Greens are great colors to wear if one is assisting someone through an awful time in life and when you want to appear nurturing and comforting.



Green should be avoided if the wearer wants to exude an air of urgency.









Purple



Purple, the most royal of colors. It suggests sophistication and wealth.... and sometimes superficiality.



To make the most out of the color purple - subtle uses ( such as in the crease or as an eye liner only ) can help the wearer appear top-dollar without looking... well... fake.



The use of purple is great for: corporate functions, high school reunions ( hahaha ), high-class parties, pretty much wherever you want to boast how much well off and great you are.



Purples should be avoided in places where you want to suggest equality. Purples should also be avoided in positions of power as well as job interviews for fear of appearing condescending for all the wrong reasons.





Yellow



A gorgeous, optimistic color. It is the most difficult color the the eye to look at and can proved to be overwhelming if used too heavily.



Bright yellow eyeshadow should be used when you want to grab someone's attention - but not necessarily keep it. Can you see the heads turning already??



Despite the suggestion of optimism it can make a viewer feel anxious and overwhelmed. Yellow should be worn in cases where the wearer wants to keep the viewer on edge.



Bright yellow should be avoided in cases where you want to hold the attention of your audience - examples: positions of power, speakers, lobbyists, in general: at any time you want someone to continue listening to you for an extended period of time.



Light yellow colors will suggest optimism without being too overwhelming and will be easier on the eyes.





White



White symbolizes purity and innocence. Due this, white eyeshadow can make the wearer appear naïve if used too heavily.



White is a great color to use if one wants to suggest submission and vulnerability.



White should be avoided in positions of power and in positions and relationships where you need to appear well versed in the ways of the world. White should also be avoided if you want to show that you are in control of the situation and that no one should "mess" with you. ( You don't want the guy you just met to think he can overpower you! )



***** A great tip for appearing more awake is to eyeliner/eye shadow to the inside corner of your eyelid and sometimes on the waterline to make your eyes appear bigger. These applications of white are great at any time! This is because these tips focus on the whites of your eyes - not your eye make up!

The Science of Makeup Posted by Christie Wilcox on November 4, 2010What is it about cosmetics that is so appealing?
19:35 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,875




Why do people wear makeup, and what might have caused early man to play around with blush and lipstick? Well, like everything else in life, a lot can be explained by science.



Makeup has been around for centuries. The earliest records of makeup use date back to around 3000 BC when ancient Egyptians used soot and other natural products to create their signature look. Evidence suggests that the origins of makeup may go back much further. Our closest relatives, Neandertals, may have used colored pigments on their skin some 50,000 years ago, and paint pigments date back 75,000 years, suggesting people may have used body paint before they wore clothes. Most people will say that makeup makes women look younger and more attractive, but the question is, why? What is it about a little eye shadow, some pink cheeks and red lips that makes a woman look prettier? Like a lot in life, it’s probably about sex.



Makeup works because it’s a good lie. In much of the animal kingdom, females advertise their youth, health and sexual availability through physical signals. Whether it be red rumps, special scents or elaborate behaviors, girls of the animal world know that sex sells, and they make it well known to the men in the area that they are ready for and capable of producing some stellar offspring. Like a peacock strutting his feathers, women do this to convince the opposite sex that they’re a good choice for a mate. But in humans, these signals are far less pronounced. Women’s bodies don’t advertise fertility loudly like our closest relatives. Instead, it’s almost impossible to tell if a woman is ovulating – almost. There are subtle signs if you know what to look for, and even though they might not realize that they realize it, men (and women!) do take notice. Studies have shown that women’s faces are more attractive to both sexes during the fertile phase of their menstrual cycle. Makeup works because it exaggerates or even completely fabricates these signs of fertility and sexual availability, thus making a woman seem more appealing.



Those ancient Egyptians were on to something with the eye makeup, for example. Women, in contrast with men, tend to be naturally darker around their eyes. Eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara all enhance this effect, thus making a face look more feminine. Studies by Richard Russell at Gettysburg College in Pennsylvania have shown that the darker the eyes are in relation to the rest of the face, the more attractive a woman appears, while the opposite is true for men. In fact, the darkness of the eyes compared to the rest of the face is so important, the exact same face can be perceived as either male or female depending on the level of contrast – just take a look at the images on the right, which are of the same face with the same eyes and lips but one has a lighter skin tone, creating more contrast. Eye makeup also makes eyes seem wider and larger, and bigger eyes are perceived as more youthful.



As with eyes, Russell found that women have darker mouths than men of the same skin tone. Manipulating lips to be darker than the rest of a woman’s face makes it appear more feminine and attractive. But it turns out that the color of the lipstick matters, too. When women are ovulating, the relative concentration of the hormone estrogen rises in comparison to progesterone. This hormonal shift enhances vascular blood flow under the skin’s surface, which has a number of side effects. Women near ovulation (when they’re most fertile) report that they’re more easily turned on and have more interest in sex. They also tend to have redder lips! By putting on reddening lipstick, women are accentuating a natural signal of fertility. On top of that, blood flow also increases during arousal, so those red lips are not only saying that she’s young and healthy – they’re specifically giving the illusion that she’s interested in YOU, which of course is bound to draw attention. That increased blood flow also pinkens the cheeks, so blush, too, adds to this effect.



But it’s not just bold colors that make a difference. Foundation and cover-up also play a large role in making a woman look more attractive. That’s because we are naturally drawn to even skin tones. As our skin ages, it tends to get discolorations, whether they be from the sun, scars, or other kinds of damage. So it’s not surprising that an even skin tone, no matter what the topology of the face is, strikes us as younger and thus more attractive. One study found that eye makeup and foundation were most important in explaining why makeup makes women appear more attractive and younger. Again, it’s about producing offspring – youth in and of itself isn’t all that useful except in the context of sex, fecundity, and fertility.



But, I hear my female readers saying, MY (boyfriend/husband/whoever) says that I look prettier without makeup! Well, it’s true that when you poll men about their makeup preferences, as many as one in five says their significant other wears way too much makeup, while one in ten wishes that women didn’t wear makeup at all. While that’s certainly a nice sentiment, their actions speak louder than their words. Study after study has found that when shown pictures of women with and without their makeup, men consistently rate images with makeup as more attractive, confident, and healthier. Men also think women wearing makeup come off as more intelligent and having higher earning potentials and more prestigious jobs. I’m not saying wearing makeup is more likely to get you hit on at a bar… but Nicolas Guéguen is. He found women wearing makeup were approached sooner and by more men.



When you look at the science, it’s no wonder that more than $40 billion dollars a year is spent on cosmetics. Makeup works, and it does so because our bodies are programmed to perceive sexual signals from the coloration of our faces. Makeup tricks our brains just enough for it to be worth the time and effort if you want to look hotter. Of course, modern media and the way women are portrayed certainly helps boost sales. But makeup has been used for centuries in disparate and diverse cultures in strikingly similar ways for a reason. In the end, we are drawn to makeup is that it taps into our primal urge to find a young, healthy mate who will produce lots of kids so that we can pass on our genes. As Theodosius Dobzhansky might have predicted, even makeup only makes sense in the light of evolution.

WINE WITH ME Vampire wine for the bloodthirsty wino Tracy Byrnes Published October 29, 2012FoxNews.com
19:30 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,878




Vampires are hot these days -- and not just because it's Halloween.



From Anne Rice’s "Interview With a Vampire" series to the HBO hit "True Blood," vampires have become sexy and intriguing.



Which is exactly why Michael Machat decided to create a wine centered around them.



The CEO and founder of Vampire Vineyards actually had the idea for a Vampire wine back in the 1980s. “I liked wine at the time, and I had some friends into wine that were really stuck up about wine. I recall not being able to pronounce the names of most wines, and the idea seemed to be a great way to brand wine and make it friendly and fun.”



Vampire Wine is our entry-level wine with a price point around $10. Dracula was intended to be more of a mid-level wine, selling for around $20, but our Dracula Pinot Noir is an exception -- owing to the extensive time in French Oak and the grapes used in making that one a $35 wine. Chateau du Vampire is a small production range from Paso Robles priced in the mid $20's to mid $30's. Trueblood is our higher end wine range priced around $30.



No surprise, the tasting room is different, too. It’s not even at the vineyard.



Instead the Vampire Lounge is on Santa Monica Blvd. in Beverly Hills -- and it’s a real lounge.



Unlike most tasting rooms that open from 10a to 5p the Vampire Lounge opens around $p and stays open until 2am at times. “We serve wine by the glass like a wine bar, but we also do tastings like a tasting room. Unlike a tasting room, we don't push people out after they've had a tasting,” says Machat.



And he has every intention of fully exploiting the Vampire brand. Wine glasses, olive oil, chocolates and even Vampire coffee are all available now.



So pick up a bottle of Vampire wines this Halloween – and let me know what you think.





Tracy Byrnes joined FOX Business Network (FBN) in October 2007 as a reporter.

Vampire Vineyards Review Region: California Reviewed: November 6, 2014 by Becky Parr Published: February 25, 2015
19:27 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,879

I don't get into the whole vampire culture. I didn't see Twilight, don't watch True Bloods, no Vampire Diaries or even Buffy. But I must admit, I was pretty excited to go visit a place called Vampire Vineyards.



For one thing, we were in Beverly Hills. The Vampire Lounge and Tasting Room is the only wine bar in Beverly Hills! I couldn't believe it. Okay, Beverly Hills is not California wine country, but it's still California, and wine is sophisticated, right? Alas, there wasn't a wine bar on every second corner. This was it.



The Place: I expected vampire-themed décor, and I wasn't disappointed. There were dark red velvet drapes, gilded mirrors, and chandeliers, and I think half the books on the shelves were written by Edgar Allan Poe. But the vampire theme wasn't cheesy, and it wasn't overdone. The place was interesting and kitschy while remaining comfortable and sophisticated. It's small; even with an upstairs lounge area, I wouldn't want to try to fit more than 25 or so people in the entire wine bar.



Another "place" worth mentioning is Vampire's website. The company's founder, Michael Machat, had the foresight (or good fortune) to claim www.vampire.com as part of a business school project during the fledgling days of the Internet. He was also smart enough to hang on to it – and the site garnered 10,000 hits per day even when there was nothing on the page! Now it's Vampire Vineyards' home page and wine store, with a lot of history about the winery, written in very imaginative prose.



Obviously, since the tasting room is in the middle of Beverly Hills, the grapes aren't grown here. The wines we tasted came from grapes grown in places such as Paso Robles, St. Helena, Mt. Veeder, and Carneros. Earlier vintages were sourced internationally, from Italy, France, and – you guessed it – Transylvania!



The People: No, the bar isn't staffed by Lestat de Lioncourt or Edward Cullen (sorry, Twilight fans). We were assisted by Creighton, who gives a GOOD pour and knows a lot about the wines and the history of the winery. There were several small groups present on a Thursday night, and he managed to spend a good amount of time with us without ever neglecting anyone, which really impressed me. He told us the story above, about the business school project.



The Wines: Even though it's Beverly Hills, I wasn't quite prepared for the tasting prices. There are three flights to choose from: one is $20, one is $25, and one is $30. We bit the bullet and got a $20 tasting and a $30 tasting and shared between us. Fortunately the pours were substantial!



There are three series of wines: Vampire, Dracula, and Trueblood. For white wines, we opted for two different Trueblood Chardonnays (2011 and 2012) and the Chateau du Vampire Rousanne. I liked both Chardonnays, but I preferred the 2011; to me, it had a true Chardonnay nose and taste, which is what I enjoy. My husband and I didn't agree on the 2012 Chardonnay; I liked it, finding it buttery, but he said it tasted too much like pure alcohol to him. Again, we didn't agree on the Rousanne; namely, I didn't like the nose and he did. I thought it smelled like fermented fruits. He got vanilla and apple, and added tart peach to his description when he tasted it. He really enjoyed this wine.



On to the reds – appropriate for Vampire! The Trueblood Pinot is fairly light and quite traditional for a Pinot. It starts a bit acidic and smooths out after several sips. The Dracula Pinot is bigger, and more full-bodied, with a nose of cherries and a tobacco pipe, a lot of fruit flavors (particularly pomegranate) and an oaky finish. The Syrah had an interesting nose of fruit and smoke; it's a bit tannic at first, but gets better as it opens, and has enough spice to go with the jammy, black cherry flavors to make it interesting.



My favorites, though, were found among the Cabernets. We tasted four Cabs. The Trueblood Cabernet, from Mt. Veeder grapes, is aged 27 months in French oak and has a nice spicy flavor. The Trueblood Cab from St. Helena has a lovely nose and is very smooth – after some debate, we decided the taste included candied boysenberries. (Not sure how we came up with that, because who eats candied boysenberries?) The Vampire Cabernet isn't as full-bodied as the other Cabs and has incense on the nose. The Chateau du Vampire nose reminded us of a cherry vanilla candle. It's deeply cherry with a long finish. I think my favorite was the Trueblood St. Helena, although most of the Cabernets were close behind.



The Experience: This visit was very enjoyable. The atmosphere was a lot of fun; Creighton brought a lot of personal touches and kept us well-supplied with tastes; and the wines were really good. If we hadn't just carried on luggage, or if we'd been local, we would have purchased some wine to take with us. As it was, we bought two Vampire wineglasses to commemorate our experience!





Address & Contact Information: 9865 S. Santa Monica Blvd. Beverly Hills, California 90212. Telephone: 310-826-7473, email: reservations@vampire.com, website: www.vampire.com. Tasting Hours: Mon-Thurs 12:00-10:00, Fri-Sat 12:00pm-12:30am, Sun 4:00-10:00.

Husbands create 7 hours of extra housework a week: study NEW YORK
19:24 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,882

For married women who can't figure out why they always have so much housework researchers may have the answer -- husbands.



A new study from the University of Michigan shows that having a husband creates an extra seven hours of extra housework a week for women. But a wife saves her husband from an hour of chores around the house each week.



"It's a well-known pattern. There's still a significant reallocation of labor that occurs at marriage -- men tend to work more outside the home, while women take on more of the household labor," said Frank Stafford, of the university's Institute for Social Research (ISR), who directed the study.



"And the situation gets worse for women when they have children," he added in a statement.



Stafford's findings are based on 2005 time-diary data from a study on income dynamics that has been conducted since 1968 at ISR.



The researchers studied diaries to assess how people spent their time and questioned men and women about how much time they spend cooking, cleaning and doing basic work around the house.



They found that young single women did the least amount of housework, at about 12 hours a week. Married women in their 60 and 70s did nearly twice that amount, while women with more than three children spent 28 hours a week cleaning, cooking and washing.



But it's not as bad as it used to be. In 1976 women did an average of 26 hours of housework a week, while men did about six, according to the study,



(Reporting by Patricia Reaney; editing by Belinda Goldsmith)

'Vampires' keep doctors in the dark for fear of stereotyping: study SALMON, IDAHO
19:22 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,883




It is not easy being a vampire, and even harder to come out of the coffin to a physician or therapist for fear they will misinterpret the habit of ingesting the blood of willing donors or succumb to stereotyping, a study finds.



Research led by D.J. Williams, director of social work at Idaho State University, indicated that people who identify themselves as “real” vampires – that is, needing others’ blood to gain energy – would not disclose their practices to those in the helping professions and risk reactions like ridicule, disgust and possible diagnosis of a mental illness.



The paper, published in the latest issue of Critical Social Work, a peer-reviewed journal based in Canada, found that authentic vampires as opposed to “lifeforbidden” vampires – black-clad figures with phony fangs – might be stereotyped by clinicians whose fields discourage biases.



Williams, who has studied self-identified vampires for nearly a decade, finds they come from every walk of life and profession, including doctors, attorneys and candlestick makers.



“They are successful, ordinary people,” he said.



Except they are very, very tired. That’s apparently the chief reason they find a consenting adult willing to allow them to use a scalpel to make a tiny incision in the chest area so they can ingest a small amount of blood for energy, the study found.



Williams and another researcher based the paper on the responses of 11 people who had identified themselves as vampires for many years and could be relied on to be open and honest, and who gain permission from practicing adults before ingesting their blood, he said.



“The real vampire community seems to be a conscientious and ethical one,” Williams said.



The challenge is finding non-judgmental clinicians to whom vampires can disclose their alternative lifeforbiddens, he added.



“Most vampires believe they were born that way; they don’t choose this,” Williams said.



The global vampire population is thought to number in the thousands, he said.



(Reporting by Laura Zuckerman in Salmon, Idaho; Editing by Dan Whitcomb and Leslie Adler)

SINK YOUR TEETH IN Real-life vampires are an actual thing by Isha Aran
19:20 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,885

When we think of vampires, we generally think of the Edward Cullen and Dracula types who have captured the popular imagination for centuries. Pale? Check. Fanged? Check. Totally fictional? Check.



But there is a community of humans around the world who identify as “real” vampires. No, they’re not hundreds of years old, nor do they sleep in coffins, nor are they afraid of garlic. But they do drink human blood.



These “real vampires” were brought to our attention recently by a small study published in the journal Critical Social Work—which aims to shed light on the fact that these self-conscious souls are hesitant to disclose their vampire identity to helping professionals for fear of being judged. Or as the study put it, they’re afraid to “come out of the coffin.”



And so, in an effort to figure out where this issue ranks in the hierarchy of world problems, we set out to nail down some basics about the bloodsuckers next door. Here’s what you should know.



Wait, what is a ‘real vampire’?

While the number of “real vampires” around the world is hard to pin down, the term describes a spectrum of people who believe they must feed off others to maintain their health and wellbeing—which can either mean sucking psychic energy, or “pranic energy,” from another individual or physically consuming small amounts blood from a consenting adult.



“Sanguinarian and psychic vampires are after the same thing—energy,” said John Browning, a post-doctoral fellow at Georgia Institute of Technology and vampire scholar. “But the former extracts that energy from blood while the latter extracts the same energy through touch or other, mental means.”



In all other aspects of life, “real vampires” are normal folks—working regular jobs, raising families, and, as the authors of the study put it, dealing with the “stress, various health issues, relationship difficulties, education or career transitions, and various other struggles that people commonly face.”



These individuals believe they were born with their vampiric condition, similar to sexual orientation—and many believe their lives would be easier without it. According to the study, most “real vampires” seem to be both psychologically and socially stable.



(It should be noted that “real vampires” are different than “lifeforbidden vampires,” who are basically just posers who like to don elements of the classic vampire aesthetic such as prosthetic fangs and cloaks, but do not believe they must feed off others.)



Given that the notion of drinking human blood generally evokes a rather visceral and concerned response from most people, it’s not surprising that the study’s authors found that “real vampires” are distrustful of “helping professionals” such as social workers and doctors and fearful of the consequences of disclosing their identity.



Vampires are people, too

In the study, researchers at Idaho State University and College of the Canyons enlisted 11 self-identified “real vampires”—all of whom are from the U.S., with the exception of one from South Africa—to fill out a questionnaire about themselves and their comfort level disclosing their vampiric identities to helping professionals.



After identifying themes of fear and reluctance, the authors assembled the participants’ responses into short poems in order to preserve “the intensity of that fear.” (Yes, using poetry to convey psychological stress is now a thing in the field.) Here’s an excerpt:



Would I be comfortable Disclosing my vampire identity? No, I would never do that!



It would detract



From real issues



For which I was seeking treatment. I have no desire to be classified



As delusional,



Immature,



Or a threat to public safety.



DJ Williams, the lead author of the study and social work program director at Idaho State, has worked with “real vampires” for the past five years. He told Fusion that “nearly all” of the participants chose not to disclose their identity to doctors and “were extremely fearful to do so.” Williams did not interview clinicians about how they would respond to having a vampire as a patient, but he stressed that, in his experience, helping professionals are largely unaware of “real vampire” culture.



“If you have a ‘real vampire’ who has some kind of a not-uncommon medical condition, if the physician or any professional understood the vampire identity,” Williams explained, “understanding how that condition fits into the client’s subjective reality could make a huge difference.”



The ultimate purpose of his report? To stress to clinicians that they should be sensitive and openminded to all types of patients and alternative lifeforbiddens—be they “real vampires,” goths, otherkin, furries, or people who practice BDSM.



Vampires’ ‘condition’ isn’t easy to diagnose

Perhaps one reason “vampires” feel uncomfortable turning to the medical community is because their “condition” is not purely physical, nor is it purely spiritual.



Merticus, a 37-year-old Atlanta-based antiques dealer and “real vampire” who advised Williams on his study, told Fusion that, objectively, the “biological or metaphysical qualities” he exhibits are technically considered vampiric, but it’s not like metaphysical or spiritual issues can be diagnosed. (“Merticus” is the name he goes by—the longtime leader in the “real vampire” community chose not to disclose his legal name to Fusion.)



“I believe the truth lies somewhere in the entanglement of the biological, metaphysical, and spiritual and may in fact be unique to the individual,” Merticus said in a statement to Fusion.



The practical application of this belief? If a “vampire” who hadn’t fed in a while told a doctor that he felt fatigued and depressed, and that his skin and hair were dry—all common symptoms of vampires who have not “fed”—the doctor would most likely talk to him about, say, hypothyroidism before suggesting a session of energy work.



Perhaps that’s why after sending dozens of emails to physicians, only a handful responded to my request for insight into “real vampires”—and all but one declined to comment.



Are there health benefits drinking blood?

So can consuming human blood actually bring health benefits? The medical community believes the practice brings only risks, given that diseases such as HIV and Hepatitis C are spread through blood.



But vamps who consume blood aren’t yanking people off the street—they find consenting donors. These donors, who can be acquaintances, lovers, or even strangers found on vampire forums, are totally down to receive a couple quick incisions somewhere on their body and have a vampire suck out a small amount of blood occasionally. And donors are generally screened before the first feeding.



So what explains the burst of energy “vampires” claim they feel afterward?



“The only plausible benefit is that [because] blood is full of iron and a large proportion of anemia is due to low iron levels, [drinking blood] is a relatively efficient way to get iron,” Kent Sepkowitz, an infectious disease specialist at Cornell Medical College told Fusion. “You could also buy a bottle of liquid iron,” he added.



Otherwise? “There is no other benefit to drinking blood,” he said. Sepkowitz also explained that the structure of blood differs depending on how it is introduced into the body.



“A red blood cell is a little lozenge with a outside membrane. If I transfuse you blood intravenously, you get the whole lozenge,” Sepkowitz said. “If you digest it, we just rip the cover right off and it just turns into a bunch of chemicals floating in the system, one of which is iron, which is great. So all they’re doing is giving themselves a hyper dramatic dose of iron.”



Sepkowitz added that drinking small amounts of blood from screened donors doesn’t pose an inherent risk. “It seems nutty, but it’s not dangerous,” he said. “The likelihood of transmitting an infection is always there, but it’s somewhat remote.”



‘All we ask for is an open mind’

So how can doctors and social workers best advise “vampire” patients? Clinicians must always balance accepting their patients for who they are while advising and translating science, Sepkowitz told Fusion.



“I think that the medical community does its best to accept whatever the person in front of them says is their habit,” he said. “There’s always been an uneasy tension between the need to let a person be whoever that person wants to be but also be an advisor about what is likely to be safe and not safe.”



On the other hand, while the “real vampire” community would prefer to not face stigma (inextricably linked to centuries of folklore and whathaveyou), they don’t feel the need to be celebrated by society at large, according to Merticus. Perhaps it’s just in their nature to be misunderstood.



“All we ask for is an open mind, tolerance, and the right to privately live our lives,” Merticus told Fusion. “However, as a pragmatic vampire, I’m more concerned about family life, the economy, finding a steady donor, and hoping the media doesn’t attribute the latest murder to non-existent ‘vampire cults’ than I am worried about seeking social justice and acceptance for my identity.”



Still, Williams hopes the medical and social work communities will heed his study and approach the notion of “real vampires” with an open mind. “I think that for any clinician, the more you understand your client’s world, the more helpful you’re going to be.”

Why ‘Real Vampires’ Fear Going to the Doctor By Jennifer J. Brown, PhD
19:19 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,886






People who self-identify as vampires need healthcare like anyone else, but are reluctant to come out of the coffin.





Credit: Sara Showalter/Getty Images

People who identify as vampires may have issues about disclosing their identity.

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Highlights

People who self-identify as vampires say they were born that way, rather than choosing the identity.



They fear disclosure of their unusual diet will shift a doctor's attention from their pressing health issue.



Doctors try to be respectful and non-judgemental with people who have alternative identities.



Fear of going to the doctor is not unique to people with alternative identities, but real vampires do have their specific reasons.



Yes, some people privately identify as vampires and believe they need to feed on human or animal blood to maintain their health, according to a 2006 survey of about 1,000 respondents by the Atlanta Vampire Alliance, a group that promotes self-awareness and responsibility for Atlanta's real vampire community.



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“Without feeding, a vampire will become lethargic, sickly, depressed, and often go through physical suffering or discomfort,” says Merticus, 37, a founding member of the alliance who has personally identified as a real vampire since 1997.



Interviews with real U.S. vampires for a 2015 Idaho State University study in Critical Social Work uncovered an intense fear of telling healthcare providers that human blood is part of their diet.



Real vampires are not the same as so-called lifeforbidden-vampires, who might sleep in coffins, dress in a distinctive way, or wear fangs as a matter of choice. Self-identified real vampires say they were born that way, rather than choosing, their alternative, little-understood identity. They consume small quantities of human blood, sometimes by making small incisions on the upper chest of a willing donor —often as part of a long-term relationship.



“The consumption of blood from human sources is facilitated through a consensual agreement by verbal or written contract between a vampire and donor,” explains Merticus.



Because their dietary habits are unusual, people who identify as vampires may have special healthcare needs, or need a more understanding and empathetic doctor than anyone else does.



“Many vampires complain of severe headaches, a sense of pain throughout their bodies, and extreme weakness,” says Merticus. But they fear disclosure of their vampirism will shift a doctor’s attention from their pressing health issues, and that they would instead be seen as delusional, immature, or even threatening.



As real vampires said to the Idaho researchers, “Would I be comfortable disclosing my vampire identity? No, I have experienced enough prejudice! I do not want to deal with stigma of this label. Often, professionals are of the same mind. I do not have time for such misunderstanding.”



A Vampire in the Emergency Room

Encountering a patient in the ER who described herself as a real vampire and acknowledged drinking human blood was a spine-tingling experience for Archana Reddy, MD, a board-certified emergency physician who practices at hospitals in the Chicago area. “I had no idea that real vampires existed,” says Dr. Reddy, a spokesperson for the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP). But as an ER-healthcare provider, she didn’t feel she faced any special risks in caring for her patient.



“Theoretically, those who drink human blood are at increased risk for contracting many blood-borne illnesses, including HIV, the human immunodeficiency virus, which causes AIDs, and hepatitis,” says Reddy.



Research is not available on whether a person who drinks human blood is any more likely than others to become infected with, or pass on, HIV, hepatitis, or sexually-transmitted diseases. “If [vampires] were to see an infectious disease specialist, they are likely to be tested for additional blood-borne illnesses,” she says. Among them are syphilis, cytomegalovirus (CMV), Epstein-Barr virus (EBV), which causes mononucleosis, West Nile virus, human t-cell lymphotrophic virus (HTLV), parvovirus, and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.



RELATED: Lives of Real Vampires: More Than a Diet of Blood



The good news is that real vampires usually don’t have the habits we associate with fictional vampires, which many of us know from the 700-plus representations in the popular media over the past decades, including Dark Shadows, Dracula, the Twilight series, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, and others.



“We require screening and careful medical evaluation of our donors, and ourselves, before imbibing blood,” Merticus explains, adding that medical lancets and sterilized blades are often used for extracting the blood, because biting is not a sanitary or safe practice.



Even for Vampires, Healthcare Requires a Relationship of Trust

Like others in misunderstood identity groups, vampires face biases and misunderstandings not just in healthcare, but in life in general.



“Our anonymity is pivotal for our personal safety, the protection of our families, and the maintenance of our careers. Despite increased television, radio, and print publicity over the last decade revealing to many the existence of real vampires, most vampires remain out of the public eye,” says Merticus, who acts as an administrator for the international vampire community network, Voices of the Vampire Community.



“Thirty years ago, disclosing that you were gay would have been considered alternative, and people would be very fearful of being judged,” says Simon A. Rego, PsyD, director of the psychology training program at Montefiore Medical Center and Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City. “People who have other practices will have similar concerns, and it’s hard to say what helps build trust,” he says, about therapeutic relationships.



When you’re seeking physical or mental healthcare, whether you are a vampire or not, assess the relationship by asking yourself questions. Dr. Rego suggests: “Do I feel heard? Does the provider reflect back to me what I’m saying? Do I feel understood?”



The relationship between any patient and her doctor, nurse, or therapist will touch on the belief system the health professional brings into the room, explains Rego. “It wouldn’t matter if it was mysticism, or belief in UFOs, or an alternative lifeforbidden that’s outside the mainstream. I try to be respectful and non-judgmental — to focus on what’s causing the patient psychological distress,” he says. “You can’t build trust without taking risks. Take risks and watch to see what the response is. See if it can open doors.”



“To me, my best work is done when there’s transparency in the relationship,” he adds, and recommends disclosing as much as you can. The more detailed a picture you give a doctor, the better equipped that person is to help you.



RELATED: 4 Big Barriers to Seeing a Doctor and How to Get Over Them



Honesty Gets You the Best Healthcare

Dr. Reddy agrees with Rego. “I encourage all patients to be honest with their physician, as ultimately it’s more difficult for us to help our patients if they’re not straightforward with us,” says Reddy, who believes a physician needs to know if her patient is drinking human blood.



“Taking a comprehensive medical and social history on every patient is always important. My patient had fangs, and she implied that many other real vampires also did,” says Reddy. This observation opened the door to a conversation about vampirism.



When it comes to urgent medical care, Reddy has now educated herself about vampires and says they can seem “pretty average”. She has no reason to be spooked about providing care.



“In the ER we treat people from all walks of life with various emergency conditions. I would feel capable of taking care of the emergency condition of other vampires if they happen to come into my ER,” she says.



But not many physicians have encountered real vampires — and they may not know if they have. In Reddy’s view, “More studies may need to be done about this population of patients, and physicians may need more education regarding how to best care for them.”



Merticus is keenly interested in such research, as an author and researcher for the Vampirism and Energy Work Research Study, working with Suscitatio Enterprises, LLC, a survey-based research group based in Atlanta. “We remain open and encouraging of medical professionals to contact us if they wish to collaborate and conduct research into those who self-identify as 'real vampires'.”

Vampire Facelift ® Procedure Explained…
19:17 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,888

Only providers listed on this site know the trade secrets of the Vampire FaceLift® and own license to use the name. Any others using the name "Vampire Facelift" (or any variation) violate trademark law, may be doing an inferior procedure, and are subject to prosecution.

Do You Show These 3 Signs of Aging?

1. Skin color becomes more gray because of less blood flow.



2. Facial Shape becomes collapsed and droopy as muscle and collagen decrease.



3. Skin texture becomes less smooth. As a result, the person looks "worn", or "tired" or "droopy." The lively, rosy hue (seen plainly in playing children of every skin color and in young adults) fades to a dull gray.



Why the Vampire?

With many ways to rejuvenate the face, why look for a better way?



Cosmetic surgery can remove excess skin and make the person appear younger. But, a surgical facelift can be more than what's needed for some people (especially when loss of shape without extra skin is the main problem).



Hyaluronic acid (HA) fillers lift the skin away from the bone to restore youthful volume and shape. But HA fillers can cause problems near the eye. Also, the injector of HA fillers can chase a wrinkle and create a shape that looks foreign to the person's face or even foreign to this planet.



The HA fillers do little to improve skin tone and texture.



Unlike most procedures, the Vampire Facelift (R) offers a way of both restoring shape, and improving tone and texture, as well as literally rejuvenating new and younger tissue!



Here's how it's done...



3 Steps of the Vampire FaceLift® Procedure

First, the injector (1) uses HA fillers to create a beautiful shape. (2) Then, the physician isolates growth factors from the patient's blood. (3) When these growth factors enter the face (injected by the physician), then muti-potent stem cells become activated to grow new tissue. This new tissue includes new collagen, new fatty tissue (for smoothness), and new blood vessels (for a healthy glow).



1. Creating a Beautiful & Natural Shape

In the first part of the Vampire FaceLift® procedure, the physician uses an Hyaluronic Acid (HA) filler (like Restylane or Juvederm) in a very specific way to sculpt a younger appearing face--while still keeping the shape natural.



Providers of the Vampire Facelift (R) procedure take into account the mathematics of beauty as defined by much research (starting with the notebooks of Lonardo da Vinci) to avoid at all costs creating an unnatural shape. These ideas about the HA fillers are not commonly known even among the best of cosmetic surgeons and constitute part of the intellectual property protected by the trademarked name (Vampire Facelift®).



After creating a younger, natural shape, then the physician harvests from the woman's own blood (hence the name Vampire) growth factors that her body would normally use to heal damaged tissue.



2) Isolating & Activating the Magic from Your Blood

First, the physician draws about 2 teaspoons of blood.



Then, using a centrifuge, the physician isolates platelets from that blood (platelet-rich plasma or PRP)--all within about 10 minutes in the office!







Diagram of a Centrifuge Used to Isolate Platelets

Click to See Wikipedia Article about the Vampire Facelift ® Procedure

Then she "activates" those platelets to cause the release from the platelets of at least 8 growth factors that would normally be used to heal injured tissue.



These growth factors work like magic to cause increased collagen & new blood flow. To rejuvenate new skin, these growth factors must be put back into your face.



(3) Injecting the Magic into Your Face

Using numbing cream and a very small needle (for almost no pain), the physician injects the woman's own growth factors back into her face in a particular way. These growth factors then activate multipotent stem cells already in the skin (tricking them into "thinking" there's been an injury and new younger tissue should generated).



Click Here to Also See the Vampire Breast Lift ® Procedure

The multipotent stem cells then develop into new collagen, new blood vessels, and new fatty tissue trying to "repair" the skin that was never injured!



The result...younger-appearing skin!



The effects of the procedure improve for 2 to 3 months and last for at least 1 to 2 years!



Use Your Blood to Rejuvenate Your Face...

The Vampire Facelift® procedure is not for everyone.



Many would do better with surgery, or laser therapy, or Botox®, or simply PRP or an HA filler used alone. All of the providers on this web site display passion about offering you the right procedure for your face.



The Vampire Facelift® book gives more detail...or even better, schedule your free consultation today...



Click Here Now to find the provider closest to you.

The Vampire Facial® procedure, using a specific technique for micro-needing, followed by application of PRP. The Vampire Facelift® procedure involves using Juvederm to restore shape followed by injecting PRP below the dermis the help restore color and texture along with enhancing a normal shape. The Vampire Facial® procedure is described in more detail here.



You can also see the inventor of the Vampire Suite of procedures (Facelift, Facial, Hair, & Breastlift) perform a Vampire Facial® on the gorgeous Yasmin, from CNN Headline News, in the following video...





The Same Technology Used in the Face Can be Used to Rejuvenate the Female Genitalia for Improved Sexuality and Decreased Urinary Incontinence

A Goths appeal to Graveyards...
19:11 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,889




The Appeal of Graveyards



Picture of Mt. Aubern Cemetery near Boston

Mt. Aubern Cemetery (near Boston)

It is a convenient place, when warm enough outside, to go talk, drink, socialize, party, make out, and so forth. Graveyards have the same appeal that a public park would to the average person. Someone lacking a place to drink indoors will find a place outside. Cemeteries are one of the many options -- others include parks, camping areas, the parking lot of a church, etc.



It is a quiet place which lends itself to introspection and reflection on what life is about and what is important. It puts us in touch with our own mortality. If we understand the fragility of life, we are better able to appreciate it. We get away from TV, computers, stress, responsibility, superficiality and the unimportant things that invade our lives. A graveyard promotes a level of introspection and reflection that not many other places can.



Graveyards are beautiful. The sculptures, mausoleums and grave sites are often elaborate and ornate. They are a gothic museum, a favorite place to take artistic pictures.



The mystery and supernatural atmosphere that surrounds graveyards is alluring. People often feel a spiritual or supernatural presence there. Goths generally tend to focus on the supernatural.

Goth... Part II
19:09 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,890

Acceptance in the Social Scene



The social scene generally uses this criteria to evaluate whether someone is a Goth. The most important aspects of "true gothness" are 2, 3 and 4 below.



Frequenting Goth haunts -- Regularly visiting places Goths frequent is the easiest and most superficial way to become accepted. This includes gothic clubs, coffee shops, thrift stores, fetish stores, independent music stores, etc. If there are no specific gothic nights at a club, Goths may be found at fetish, 80's, or industrial theme nights. Frequenting gothic places may give someone exposure to the culture, but not necessarily acceptance.





Dressing gothic -- Goths initially identify other Goths by appearance. See common culture under fashion. The appearance indicates the potential for common interests. However, it often takes further investigation to determine whether or not the person is gothic. The way a person dresses alone does not automatically make him or her a Goth. For some people, the image of being gothic is shed as easily as taking off those gothic clothes.





Possessing the gothic mentality/personality -- This indicates whether a person is gothic internally as opposed to merely looking gothic externally. For people with the gothic personality, their involvement is not merely a rebellious phase, but part of their inner self. Those likely to become interested in Goth and remain involved in it will usually possess most of the following characteristics and traits beforehand: individualistic, reflective, artistic, creative, introspective, emotionally focused and driven, sensitive, non-violent, moody. They are likely to have a distaste for authority, possess above average intelligence, and be social misfits. Most are interested in the beautiful, the mysterious and the supernatural.





Listening to gothic (and related) music -- This includes the depth of music knowledge and level of dedication. See Relevant Music Classifications. It also includes familiarity with other media such as books and movies; however, these count to a lesser extend and do not qualify alone. The music plays different roles to different people. Some people enjoy Gothic only for its social or aesthetic aspects and never seek to listen to more than the most popular and well-known of Goth bands. True dedication to gothic culture is often displayed in one's span of music knowledge. Musical preference is advertised through band t-shirts, stickers, or mouthing the words to songs at a club.





Knowing key gothic people -- Acceptance by the well-known members of the social group is often automatic grounds for being considered Goth no matter the length of time in the scene, how extreme the person looks, or musical preference.





Critical Analysis



Gothic culture is a multifaceted entity with several different aspects; there are at least three major components of the subculture. One aspect is involvement in the gothic social scene -- especially frequenting clubs and knowing others involved in the scene. To outsiders, gothic is almost always evaluated by what is known of the visible social scene. The scene ideally facilitates the exchange of ideas and draws individuals of like mind and interests together. In reality, it is most often a social group similar to other social groups and cliques in structure and function, i.e. it provides a sense of belonging, contains unspoken social hierarchies, establishes norms of social behavior, etc. It must be noted that gaining acceptance in the social scene is not necessarily an interest of everyone involved in gothic culture. It often becomes progressively less important to individuals as they grow older through their 20's and 30's.



Another essential aspect is having a gothic personality. In short, this includes individualism, an interest in the darker side of life and the supernatural, focus on beauty and dark aesthetics, art, emotion, creativity, intellectualism, mystery, and drama. Almost everyone in the subculture would probably agree that possessing the gothic personality is ultimately what makes someone gothic.



The last is a passion for gothic music. The subculture is musically based and driven; the music is what holds the social scene together. As the music changes, the direction of the scene changes. Music is most often the reason cited for continued involvement in gothic culture over the years.

Goth: Explained by many....
19:06 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,891

What is the gothic subculture in the UK?



The word "gothic" is derived from the name of an early European tribe called the Visigoths, who enjoyed pillaging and raping and were famous for being uneducated and lacking in artistic taste. The term was also used from the middle ages onwards to describe a type of architecture; in particular cathedral arches with a sharp high point in the centre. Around the Victorian era, the label was also applied to horror novels by authors such as Edgar Allan Poe, Mary Shelly and Bram Stoker.



Use of "gothic" to describe the music and social subculture began in the late 1970's with Punk and New Romantic, but origins can be traced back Egyptian times and before. The scene blossomed in the 1980s and spawned many chart-topping hits from goth bands including The Sisters of Mercy, The Mission, All About Eve, The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Fields of the Nephilim and Christian Death. The mid-80's "classic goth" sound was characterised by jangly mandolin-forbidden semi- acoustic guitar, steady one-note basslines, simple but fast rhythms, heavy use of synthesisers or effects processing and powerfully dark vocals. Early 80's goth bands had a far more punky feel. Although some of the "classic" bands are still going, and much loved by many of today's goths, they are not the main focus of goth culture today.



In the 1980's, goth became not just a musical forbidden but also a clothing fashion. The look was typified by dyed black voluminous hair, pale skin, tight black clothes, pointed boots and lots of silver jewellery (often using religious designs from early European and ancient Egyptian culture). In particular black leather biker jackets, black skin-tight jeans, black fishnet stockings and black aviator sunglasses became goth trademarks.



The early 1990's saw a huge change in the goth scene. The media coverage died quite quickly, spurred on by the press hunt for something- anything- new, despite a short burst of continuing chart hits by big-name 80's goth bands. Goth music soon lost media coverage and new goth bands found it difficult to get airplay or even record deals.



However, the subculture not only survived, but strengthened. Networks of goth organisations, held together mainly by the booming nightclub business, ignored the media's ridicule and continued to develop. Cheap, readily available technology, such as desktop publishing and home recording, kept the scene alive with hundreds of fanzines and demo tapes of varying quality. This rebirth was helped greatly by a Hollywood Victorian Horror revival, with box-office hit films including "The Crow", "Edward Scissorhands" and "Interview with the Vampire" bringing new interest in the goth scene. Goth fashion changed subtly, with crimped hair, high ponytails and combat trousers from the Grebo/Crusty scene, long straight hair, velvet and lace from Victorian Horror, leather and rubberwear from the fettish scene, hair bunches, zips tops and hooded tops from techno. There is also a slow take-up of tattooing and piercing, but with nothing like the popularity in the US and Canada. By far the most popular goth fashion item remains skin tight black jeans.



Music plays a smaller part in the goth scene of the 1990's than it did in the 1980's. There isn't a definitive goth sound any more; although there are still common factors such as haunting vocals and synthesised dark effects.



The 1990's goth subculture in the UK is more to do with forbidden, attitude and the social scene- the forbidden is black, the attitude is dark and the social scene is buzzing.



Pete Scathe has a rather good Early History of Goth web site, which has lots more detail on early goings on.





3. Isn't goth dead?



The UK goth scene not only continues today, but is attracting a new young crowd. There are certainly a number of goths who enjoyed the scene in the 1980's and continue to enjoy it today; but on the whole most of today's goths are aged between late teens and late twenties. This isn't discriminatory, but a reflection of most nightclub audiences.



There are several 90's goth bands who have had hits in the national or independent charts, including Garbage, Rosetta Stone, Sheep On Drugs, Nick Cave, Nosferatu, Curve and so forth. Many of these bands may not admit to being goths, but neither did many of the so-called goth bands of the 80's. They may not sound like 80's goths- often they don't use the jangly guitars and driving basslines associated with the 80's- but they all have powerful, haunting vocals and a dark theme to their music, without resorting to death metal nor industrial forbiddens. And they look like goths. What else would you call them?



On the whole, 90's goth bands find it difficult to get media coverage or radio airplay, and there are scores of 90's goth bands which can pull good crowds- easily selling out small to medium-sized venues- which you'll never hear of in the charts. For example London After Midnight, Stun (formerly Children On Stun), Die Laughing, Inkubus Sukkubus and Manuskript.



There are also many goths who don't listen to much goth music; who dress goth and think goth but listen to industrial, metal, techno or alternative. Popular bands that goths tend to like include The Prodigy, Front 242, Cubanate, Menswear, White Zombie, Pop Will Eat Itself, Front Line Assembly and Nine Inch Nails.





4. Why is goth ignored by the music media?



The music media aren't there to reflect the current music scene; they exist to sell magazines and advertising space. Journalists like to see themselves as "discovering" new talent, rather than having talent evolve gradually from one genre to the next.



Thus the music press won't entertain the possibility that goth has slowly evolved into something new. They have to wait for the scene to die away so that they can "discover" it again. But goth hasn't died away, so the press label goths as "hangers-on" who still listen to 80's music- despite a wealth of new talent!



This is where the Internet comes into its own. There are no editors to decide what's "cool" and what's not. You don't need the approval of a record company boss to advertise your album. No-one can censor the letters page. A thousand fellow fans can be contacted for less than the price of one stamp. The Internet represents media democracy; goth is popular in the real world and this is reflected on the Internet.



Sadly the real world prejudice applied to goth means it can be difficult attracting new interest off-line and this affects bands and clubs who have a problem publicising their events. Due to media "goth racism", events are publicised off-line by flyers at other events, mailing lists and fanzines- in other words, a goth grapevine.





5. What makes something gothic? Am I a goth?



There are no hard and fast rules; anything which has an air of dark power is gothic. Some people also refer to goth music as "darkwave" "goth techno", "dark alternative", "electro", "ambient ethereal" and a hundred other phrases which may or may not be strictly applicable.



Whether or not you choose to adopt the "goth" tag is up to you. Certainly, dressing in black, crimping your hair and attending the Whitby festival will get you classified as a goth by your friends. But there are plenty of people who think of themselves as goths who don't do any of these things.





6. Where does industrial music / darkwave / cyber culture fit in?



There are many industrial bands which can be considered goth, and these two musical genres often share common forbiddens, sounds and dress. But there's plenty of industrial bands which aren't goth (Nitzer Ebb) and goth bands that aren't industrial (Die Laughing).



Darkwave and Electro is also referred to as Goth Techno and these bands represent a very extreme interpretation of the goth ideal which has picked up fans rapidly in the mid 90's. These bands (such as Girls Under Glass) generally mix slowed-down analogue techno with digital new romantic synths and goth vocals.



Cyberpunk is closely allied with goth, but focuses on a dark future rather than drawing on a dark past, and is also primarily concerned with fiction rather than music. From a fashion and attitude perspective these two genres are easily intermixed.





7. Umm vampires?



Vampires are a rather contravercial subject, so to simplify matters a bit (and start more arguments probably) we will split this one up.



7.1 Are vampires goth?



Yes. In the same way goths tend to enjoy things relating to magick, ghosts, the paranormal and alternative religions, they will very often seek out and absorb anything vampire related too. Threads in UPG regarding shows like Ultraviolet, The Masquerade and even Forever Knight back this up, and the idea of more movies based on Anne Rice novels is always a source of excitement.



Vampire legends exist in most cultures and hence are an important part of world mythology. Vampires are used as and make excelent allegories for all that some of us see as evil in the world, for example corporate greed, dictatorship and fascism. Also the relationship between vampires, sex and death is not entirely alien to the goth mindset, but more because of the romanticism of vampires than anything else.



Oh, and they dress nice :-)



7.2 Are goths vampires?



No! Your average goth thinks that people pretending to be or acting like vampires represent all that is pants in goth. Plastic fangs are not merely frowned upon, they are completely and utterly taboo and anyone wearing them might as well go the whole hog with a T-shirt saying "I am tosser. Please do not talk to me or even make eye contact". Genuine teeth extensions are considered less naff (although few get past the inquiry stage- when they realise it's an affordable £80 upwards from willing dentists. However you will still seem like tosser if you pretend to be a vampire in public, regardless of how good the fangs are!



For more information on vampires but not goths, see alt.vampyres.



8. Are goths involved with Satanism or paganism? I'm black/fat/old/gay/disabled/Conservative, can I still be a goth?



Goth is not a religious, political, racial, sexual nor occult movement, and there are goths of all faiths, races, beliefs and orientations. If you want to be a goth, be one.



The majority of goth bands are either non-religious or actively anti- religious. Religious imagery, particularly that of Christian Catholic (crucifixes), Ancient Egyptian (Ankhs) and Pagan (Pentacles) is popular, as it conveys the "darkly powerful" feeling associated with goth music.



The number of Pagans is noticeably higher amongst goths than other similar social groups, this is probably due to the cynicism over organised religions. Goths tend not to want to worship a religion which often treats gothdom as 'evil'.



Paganism should not be confused with Satanism, although the Pentacle and Pentagram are identicle in appearance. Pagans believe in the balance of nature, and do not have fixed notions of "good" and "evil". Many Pagans also practice magicke, which links them to the Wiccan religion and technically makes them Witches, however in the same way not all goths are Pagans, not all Pagans are Wiccan. The band Inkubus Sukkubus are particularly pro-Wiccan.



There are few genuinely Satanist goths. It is important to realise however that Satanism has nothing to do with sacrifices or ritual abuse, this is merely a media image. Satanism is no more or less evil than other beliefs.



You can find FAQs on Paganism, Wicca and Satanism at rtfm.mit.edu.



Goths tend towards socialism in much the same proportions as any social group with a majority aged late teens to late twenties. There are also Young Conservative goths, communist goths, fascist goths and anarchist goths. Another, growing trend in amongst 90's goths is that of political apathy; the view that none of the political parties make any difference, sometimes allied to conspiracy theories. This is a favourite topic of the band Rosetta Stone.



Racially, goth is a very "white" culture, although there are a number of Asian and Oriental goths, together with smaller groups from other races. The reason for the abnormal white population may have something to do with forbidden (a pale, gaunt appearance is fashionable) or the fact that there is a very strong black rap subculture which is more readily available. Neil Gaimen's Neverwhere series on BBC2 proved that being black is no reason to not be goth. Goths are rarely racist and are often concerned at the lack of multiethnicity within the culture.



Despite their often androgynous or transvestite appearance, goths have pretty much the same spread of sexuality as any other similarly aged social group. There may appear to be a higher incidence of bisexuality, but this could simply be because goths tend to be more open about their preference. Many goths- particularly heterosexual males- can feel misunderstood when picked upon just because of transvestite elements of their dress, and will take offence from being called "queer" or so forth even when they don't consider homosexuality as bad.



Whilst goths generally do aspire towards a thin, gaunt appearance there are many "porky" goths, and people of a larger than average size will have few problems mixing with goths.



Disabled goths are a very common sight, and it is almost impossible to go to a goth event without seeing a wheelchair. Unfortunately most night clubs are upstairs or in older, less wheelchair friendly buildings.





9. Why not use alt.gothic or uk.music.alternative? When and to where should I cross-post? What is a troll/trolling?



9.1 Other goth-oriented newsgroups.



uk.people.gothic carries about 120 messages per day. It is about the social culture of goth in the United Kingdom. This includes fashion, music, events and other related cultural topics. It was created because alt.gothic became too large for people with lives or jobs to keep up with. Which may well seem like a contradiction.



alt.gothic carries well over 300 messages per day, and many UK goths see much of alt.gothic's traffic as either childish or specifically American, but that's 90% of Usenet culture for you. There are many nuggets of gold to be found in alt.gothic, but sadly they are often very well hidden.



alt.gothic.announce is alt.gothic's sister group and is widely read by uk.people.gothic readers, carrying about 3 messages per day. The group carries news items such as tour dates, new releases, new web sites, events and so forth. It is moderated but few posts are ever rejected. Send your post by EMAIL to:



alt-gothic-announce@twisted.org.uk

This will post to alt.gothic.announce only. You should NEVER followup on alt.gothic.announce. There is no longer any way to automatically cross-post between alt.gothic.announce and uk.people.gothic.



alt.gothic.fashion is currently as busy as u.p.g, and finally has the propagation across news servers that it deserves. It is another child of alt.gothic, created to carry clothing and styling discussions.



Alt.gothic.fashion FAQ -



http://www.toreadors.com/gothfash.html

alt.binaries.gothic is becoming popular, not only with warez doodz, porn spammers and the like. Due to the general nature of the alt.binaries.* hierarchy (gigabytes of filth, by and large), a lot of newsadmins on academic sites refuse to have anything to do with it. The group exists for binary posts such as pictures or sound files with a particularly gothic theme.



Alt.binaries.gothic FAQ -



http://www.zenweb.com/pan/panstuff/abgfaq.htm

aus.culture.gothic is (not surprisingly) the Australian equivalent of u.p.g. This is its charter, which is maintained by Tim Serong .



This newsgroup is devoted to discussions of the music, fashion, ideologies and interests of those who consider themselves within the Gothic subculture in Australasia. It is primarily intended to allow for a better forum for the discussion of specifically local issues which may not be of interest to those living in other countries. It is also intended to provide people from Australasia with their own forum for discussion of general issues in the Gothic subculture and to receive information and reasonable announcments which are relevant to them and to their interests in the Gothic subculture.



The rest of the FAQ -



http://www.ooze.net/auscg/

alt.personals.gothic exists, and that's about as much as I can tell you about it. It is also rumoured (by people who spend more time in alt.config than I do) that an alt.music.gothic is carried on some servers.



There are a handful of other goth-oriented newsgroups that may or may not be found on your local server.



uk.music.alternative carries around 20 messages per day and is specifically about alternative music liked by UK fans. Goth music is sometimes discussed there and there are often cross-posts with uk.people.gothic, but non-music topics are not appropriate.



rec.music.industrial carries about 150 messages per day and is rarely the subject of cross-posts from uk.people.gothic and alt.gothic, reflecting the mixed status of much modern goth music. Again, non-music discussions about culture or fashion are not appropriate here.



Other groups such as alt.music.* also sometimes discuss goth music.



You may also hear about a team called alt.gothic.special-forces (AGSF). One of the many web pages for these net.abuse hunters is:



http://www.netcity.co.uk/~hirez/agsf/





9.2 Cross-posting. Why not to do it.



As with all Usenet groups, you should keep cross-posting to a minimum. If you do cross-post, try to limit the followup newsgroups to two or less. Sadly, cross-posting has become a depressingly easy way of starting an inter-newsgroup war. While this might sound incomprehensible or quaint to those of you fresh to Usenet culture (and believe you me it does have one), the results are spectacularly messy, as any veteran of the soc.bi/alt.gothic flamefest will tell you.







9.3 Troll-spotting for beginners.



A troll is one of -



i) A carefully disguised post containing (more or less) clearly false information. Obvious clues used to be crossposts to alt.troll or alt.fan.ted-frank.



ii) Any message along the lines of 'goths are a bunch of prats' or 'why don't you all get lives?'



iii) Anything crossposted to alt.fan.karl-malden.nose, ever.



The term is also now applied to the person perpetrating the troll, which grates somewhat on those of us old enough to remember bang-paths. It originally derived from its usage in fishing and the phrase 'trolling for newbies'. (Drop something attention-grabbing in the waters and see who'll bite.)



If you read a post and think to yourself 'What on *earth* is this person on?', the chances are you're dealing with a troll. Remain calm. Trollers are sad wee individuals who can't find sexual partners and take out their frustrations on the Usenet, where they get their gratification from winding you into an apoplectic frenzy. If you feel you must respond, make sure your posting forbidden is more Oscar Wilde than Gerry Sadowitz. Sexbat's guide to napalming the clueless and the troll FAQ are both excellent sources of further reference. Indeed, the previous paragraph was unconciously channelled direct from Prunesquallor's estimable alt.gothic troll FAQ, for which I claim insanity.



The Troll FAQ. http://www.threnos-media.com/prune/trollfaq.html



Another excellent way to start a flamefest is to mistake a newbie or someone with the temerity to hold a different opinion to yourself for a troller. Relax and absorb vibes. Do not get self righteous, because people will point and laugh at you.



Hunting down trollers posting from bogus addresses and shopping the sad buggers to their postmasters is a fine way to learn how the Internet works and splendid fun to boot. [IMHO, anyway- JHR]





10. Which goth celebrities participate? Is that a genuine post from Rosetta Stone / James Ray etc?



An increasing number of goth bands have Internet access, many providing official contact points and information sites. Few of these participate in discussion.



Larger bands including London After Midnight, James Ray and so forth sometimes post to alt.gothic.announce, uk.people.gothic and alt.gothic with news of gigs and releases, but are far less likely to be found taking part in discussions. Often their posts are submitted by officially designated minions such as webmasters.



Porl King, Rosetta Stone's singer, does participate in uk.people.gothic quite often, particularly in response to post-gig discussions or questions about his records.



There is also a high level of participation from smaller bands, not just in relation to their own activities, but also in general newsgroup chatter. These include Phantasmagoria, Earth Calling Angela, Libitiana and The Tortured.



Nightbreed Recordings (Trev and Mark from Nottingham) have Internet access but have not yet posted to UPG. Contrary to their t-shirts' inferrences, they do not own the domain netgoth.co.uk (currently being registered by a collection of UK net.goths including Nic Gibson) nor the email address gothic@netgoth.co.uk (which has been offered to Rosetta Stone who have nothing to do with Nightbreed).





11. What is a net.goth? Is there really a test / T-shirt / meeting?



Originally, the term "net.goth" started out as something of a joke on alt.gothic, and was applied to anyone who scored over 80 points on The Goth Test, a humorous text article. References are occasionally made to there being a goth card (mainly to tease newbies/confuse trolls) and about losing goth points if you admit to liking something decidedly non-goth.



The Goth Test is available at Sexbat's Aircrash Monthly:



http://www.demon.co.uk/bat/aircrash/gt.zip

"net.goth" is now applied to anyone who frequently posts to uk.people.gothic, aus.culture.gothic or alt.gothic, and a strong sense of community has grown up around this Internet culture. In North America, net.goth get-togethers called Convergences started in 1995 as a meeting for net.goths. The first was in Chicago in 1995, the second in Boston in 1996 and 1997's will be in San Francisco. All net.goths worldwide are welcome. uk.people.gothic has not had events quite of this size, but postings are made before concerts, club nights or Whitby to UPG so that net.goths can meet up (usually in a convenient nearby pub). Identifying laminates were produced for Whitby 1996 to help the net.goths identify each other, and have been used since to help new people spot net.goths. net.goths will often invite other uk.people.gothic readers to their parties. There are also occasionally net.goth meets not connected to particular events such as shopping expeditions and some very large picnics.



T-shirts are often available for sale, usually printed in short runs of 20 or so and sold on either a reserve or first-come-first-served basis. Usually a post is made to a newsgroup with the information, and a URL given so those interested can see the design.



A selection of net.goth logos is available at



http://www.demon.co.uk/bat/aircrash/netgoth/logos.html

Most people ask for the newsgroups' input on slogan, colors and any non-logo design before printing.



Many net.goths have a web page with photos, writings, artworks and links. Check out this page for a well-rounded view of uk.people.gothic's denziens:



http://www.cs.ucl.ac.uk/staff/b.rosenberg/goth/gallery/index.html



12. Can I legally put goth music samples/cover scans on my web page?







Generally, no.



Under English law, any work of art is copyright provided the author is identifiable and has not stated that the work is not copyright.



For instance, a band does not have to say "Copyright 1996 Goth On A Rollercoaster" in order for their songs to be copyright. It is enough that they put their name on the CD.



Sometimes artists will specifically state that their work may be reproduced. Often there will be restrictions added into such statements, so make sure you're fulfilling the artists' requests.



It is illegal to reproduce any copyright work in any form. This includes sampling and scanning, even for back-up purposes. You can get a big fine and could even go to prison for breaching copyright.



MIDI files, unless they are produced with the permission of the original work's owners, breach copyright by their very existence.



Two ways to legally reproduce copyright material are:



Firstly- this is the easiest and best option- you could get permission from the copyright owner. Write to the band using snailmail (paper and ink). Usually, even big name bands will grant you permission for fan-based non-profitmaking purposes, but you should get that in writing. Sometimes you will be referred to a third party, such as the Mechanical Performance Copyright Society (MCPS), Performing Rights Society (PRS), record company or solicitor, who have made a legal agreement to represent the band in certain copyright matters.



Secondly, you could copy a small portion (for instance, a 30-second sample) of the copyright work to accompany a review. Just as magazines are allowed to quote short passages of books they are reviewing, so you can quote short passages of music you are reviewing. The quality of the sample is irrelevent. The review must be a genuine effort to review the work and not just as an excuse to include the sample.



The previous copyright exemption under English law for educational purposes no longer exists.



Finally, beware the Performing Rights Society. They have been known to claim to represent bands who don't have any agreement with them. Early in 1996 the PRS claimed to represent Rosetta Stone and threatened legal action if their samples weren't removed from the official alt.gothic FTP site. It turned out that not only had Rosetta Stone never asked the PRS to represent them, but Rosetta had placed their samples on the site themselves!



I would welcome advice from experts on Scots, Welsh or Ulster law.





13. What's so special about Whitby?



The Whitby Gothic Weekend is the Glastonbury of Goth; it is a three-day event featuring goth bands, goth DJ's, fashion shows, market stalls, games and other entertainment. Whitby started with 200 goths on holiday and has expanded to 1000 goths invading the fishing village of Whitby in Yorkshire with 120 net.goths present in 1996.



Whitby Gothic Weekend (WGW) started almost by accident in 1994 when a goth lady called Jo Hampshire decided to go on holiday to Whitby. The fact that it is legendary for being the landing place of Dracula didn't come into it - Jo just fancied a seaside holiday. Several friends decided to come along with her and in the end she invited some more and told them to 'bring a crowd'. When 200 goths tried to all get into the pub simultaneously on the first evening, it was clear that there was something of an enthusiasm for an event where goths effectively went on holiday.



The Whitby Gothic Weekend has an official web site:



http://whitby.darkwave.org.uk

Check there for the latest info on the event and how to get tickets.



Jo Hampshire (Top Mum) is the top "person behind it all" of the weekend. Every year she has put together a well-rounded weekend to please everyone from the net.goths to the Vampire Society and all in between. Jo has organised more and more activities, and the Weekend now has a full three days of events, including bands, DJs, a market, annual competitions, and of course, a certain amount of time is spent enjoying the seaside attractions of Whitby itself. Jo has soothed the locals' fears, tried to give the press a correct picture of goth and has booked some of the creme de la creme of goth bands. Jo is a UPG reader.



Whitby was also a location in the "Dracula" novel- the spot that Dracula's boat landed in England. There is a museum and related Dracula items are available. Vampire fudge, anyone? Whitby has many other attractions: touring St. Mary's church and graveyard, visiting the Captain Cook Museum, hiking up to the 13th/14th century Abbey, admiring the architecture, and looking into the art galleries, museums and jet works (the stone, not the engine).





14. How do goths cope in rural areas or towns with no goth scene?



Living in a rural area doesn't stop you listening to the music, wearing the clothes or participating with the culture through the Internet or fanzines. Equally, just because you're a goth it doesn't mean you can't wear blue jeans and chat with the locals one day and wear a black dress and bugger off to Birmingham the next. Don't alienate yourself unless you really can deal with it- you don't have to look like Morticia Addams 24 hours a day to be a goth. Try a hairforbidden that can be washed out such as crimping, gelling, high bunches or hairspray. Build up a good collection of jewellery and accessories which can dress up monochromatic normal clothes to look goth.



Provincial goths will often "adopt" a non-goth nightclub (even just a pub with a disco), usually one which has an alternative, indie or student night. Try bringing along your own records early on in the evening- the DJ is more likely to take requests since there is no-one dancing anyway. Or you could badger your local pub to put a goth compilation in it's CD jukebox. Alternatively, visit dedicated goth nightclubs whenever transport is available.



You could also ask on uk.people.gothic whether there are any other goths in your area- there may be another just down the road from you that you never knew about! In particular, uk.people.gothic is useful for organising lifts from rural areas to large cities with goth events.





15. How do I keep my black clothes black?



Black clothes, particularly the cheaper T-shirts, can lose their colour very quickly if machine washed frequently and become a washed- out grey. The two most important factors when washing black clothes are detergent and heat. But before you even consider how to wash an item, read the label.



Bucket with number: Indicates maximum machine wash temperature in Celsius. Ignore this and the item may shrink or go grey very quickly. Bucket with hand: Do not machine wash; hand wash only. Often this means the item will crease, shrink or grey easily. Bucket crossed out: Do not wash. You might be able to dry clean it. Square with circle: Suitable for tumble-drying. Square with circle crossed out: Do not tumble dry. Usually seen on clothes that shrink or damage easily, or on printed clothes where the design will melt. Drip dry instead and beware of melting. Triangle: Suitable for dry cleaning using Chlorine bleach. Triangle crossed out: Do not dry clean using Chlorine bleach. Iron with dots: Shows the maximum iron setting. Higher settings may melt the fabric and printed design, or produce an irregular shiny sheen. Iron crossed out: Do not iron. Try drip-drying or drying on a flat surface if you want to get the item straight. P in a circle (ahem): May be dry cleaned. P in a circle crossed out: Do not dry clean.



With machine washing, most of the colour detergents are a considerable improvement over normal powders. However, if you machine wash black clothes frequently, even with colour detergent, you still will notice greying after six months or so.



Non-colour detergents often contain optical whiteners which will show up as thousands of white specks when exposed to ultraviolet light (such as at a nightclub).



Concentrated detergents are probably more trouble than they're worth, and in particular some concentrated detergents eat holes in thin fabric.



If you have a problem with greying, try doing a "black only" wash using half the recommended amount of colour detergent. Avoid using a programme over 40 degrees Celsius, and if possible wash at 30 degrees. Lower temperatures can also help avoid shrinkage.



Even better is to hand-wash valued black clothes. Use warm but not hot water (you should be able to immerse your hands comfortably) and only one tablespoon of Twin Tub detergent. Rub the clothes together to get rid of dirt; remember you only have a small amount of detergent so you have to put in a bit more manual effort to get the clothes clean.



Tumble drying will not normally affect black clothes. That said, many black shirts and skirts- particularly "one size fits all" imports- are made from viscose, which shrinks and creases irreparably when tumble-dried. Woollens may also be unsuited to tumble drying- check the label.



If you really must iron printed T-shirts, turn them inside out and place a clean tea towel on top of the printed area. Use a low heat setting with no steam.



You can blacken badly greyed clothes, provided they don't have a printed design, by dying them. This is especially effective for jeans with greyed knee areas.





16. How do I dye fabric?



The fabric must be able to withstand 60 degree Celsius water and must not be damaged by creasing. Cold dyes exist but they're a pain in the neck to use and the colour doesn't stand up to repeated washing.



Buy some Dylon Hand Dye (Woolworths sell it along with their sewing stuff) and a bag of cooking salt. Then get hold of an old bucket or bowl, a pair of rubber gloves and a clean wooden stick (the bowl, gloves and stick will be stained afterwards). You will also need access to a kettle, a large measuring jug and hot tap water.



To dye the fabric a solid colour such as black, simply follow the instructions supplied with the hand dye. Don't skimp on the salt as this fixes the dye and helps stop it going grey. For better results, use extra dye and leave things to soak overnight. To get hard wearing fabric (such as cotton or denim) really, really black, simmer the fabric in the dye for an hour in a jam cauldron.



You can produce weird colourations by tying up the fabric prior to immersion in the dye.



To produce tie-dye circles (spots of deep colour with undyed streaked circles around them) get some string and wrap it around the fabric tightly many, many times then tie securely. Alternatively tie knots in the fabric itself. Tied areas will not get as much dye as the rest of the fabric (or none at all if tied tightly).



To produce criss-crossing streaks of bold and light colour, less clashing than tie-dye circles, tie the item up with rubber bands in a random fashion. Use as many bands as possible and have the bands tied over each other.



To produce a really mental marbled effect with hard wearing fabric (such as cotton), cook the dye-soaked fabric in a microwave then rinse immediately. Beware that condensing dye may permanently splatter the inside of the microwave. Make sure the item has no metal fixtures such as buttons or zips. Microwaved dye tends to produce deep and brilliant colours which do not fade even after years of repeated washing.



It is vitally important that you rinse away excess dye when you've finished any dying process. The item might not be as well dyed as you thought, and might drip excess dye onto other items. Repeat rinsing until the water runs clear.



Further information on dying can be found at:



http://www.cs.ucl.ac.uk/staff/b.rosenberg/goth/#clothes



17. Which black hair dye is best? What is crimping? What is a "my little pony" / "pineapple" / "manic panic" hairforbidden?



All these tips apply to Caucasian hair. I would welcome hair tips from Asian, Oriental, Afro or other ethnic minority goths.



Temporary black hair can be achieved by using one of the wash in/wash out colours available in Boots or Superdrug. These are usually one part gel or cream dyes which you use like a shampoo. Everything you need is supplied, however the plastic gloves which peel off the back of the instructions are useless, you should use household washing-up gloves or you can buy latex surgical gloves in Boots.



Temporary dying is easy. Simply wash the dye in to clean hair and wait the appropriate amount of time. You might need to use two packs if you have a lot of hair. Once the dye is on you do not need to heat it or wrap your head in clingfilm, just wait. Once the time is up wash the remaining dye out and rinse thoroughly.



Depending on which brand you buy, the colour will begin to wash out in 3 to 5 washes. Many people have said Boots own brand is not exactly temporary.



Dying your hair black permently is a little more involved. Permanent dyes are two part and must be used with care. You can not buy full strength permenent dye in the high street as it can be dangerous.



Unlike temporary dyes you apply the mixed chemicals to you hair with a brush or applicator. It is important to 'mask' off the skin around your hair line as the dye will stain. You can use vaseline as a barrier cream (much amusement can be gained by buying your vaseline and gloves at the same time!).



Once you have covered your hair you must wait. Because the dying process is a chemical reaction waiting longer will have no greater effect. After the required time you should rinse out the dye and wash your hair thoroughly. The colour will 'bleed' for a few days, but this is normal and is more likely to be coming off your scalp than your hair itself.



Recomend brands are Clairol Nice n Easy (124), Lorial and Boots 28 Wash, however results from Boots brand seem to vary.



A hair dying FAQ can be found at



http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~tiggerr/dyeing.html

If you want to bleach your hair, BBlonde from Boots works well and comes with full instructions. If you want a bright colour, but don't want to bleach your entire head, try bleaching small sections of it instead: bleach locks of hair, approx 5-10mm wide (larger sections will give a very stripey result), evenly distributed over your head - maybe bleach only 10-15% of your head to begin with.



You can use this technique to add 'white' stripes into black hair, or to add vivid colours. A good vivid colour dye is Directions by La Riche, which comes in a good range of shades and is available from many alternative clothing shops.



Another easy way of getting stripes in your hair is to use Hair Mascara. This is more or less exactly what it sounds like, coloured liquid you brush onto your hair with a long dippy brush.



There are now several makes available including Loreal, Boots and of course Stargazer. Loreal is the most expensive, but seems to work well on any colour hair (eg blue on black), Boots and Stargazer seem better if you use light mascara on dark hair or vice versa, but have a very good range of colours. They all wash out easily yet don't stain your pillow!



The best easily available hairspray for sculpting hair is probably Shockwaves Ultra Strong. The classic basic goth hair-do is the 'big hair' / 'manic panic'. A good example is the forbidden adopted by Patricia Morrison (the female ex-Sister of Mercy). It requires long, dyed hair, which has been cut with layers to allow the top to gain enough height when backcombed. By crimping and backcombing, you can gain an enormous hairforbidden which you can then proceed to pull back at the top and sides and clip into a high ponytail, leaving the rest to hang down.



To get through the crimp-and-backcomb process, I can't recommend highly enough the in-depth guide to gothic hair (and make-up) in Take A Bite, the net.goth handbook, written by the excellent and expert Count Von Sexbat. This is available from: http://www.demon.co.uk/bat/aircrash/archives.html and tells you in detail how to produce the basis for any 'big hair' look.



You *can* use spray-in colour of the sort available from party shops with 'Space Age! Unisex!' written on the can, but be warned, if you spray all your hair black with these and then go to a club, you will look like a coal-miner after about half an hour, as it smudges off on everything in sight. It's better to spray small sections, say, a white streak on black hair, or vice versa. It's around GBP2.50 a can so you can probably experiment a little. The main disadvantage of this stuff is that you will probably have to wash it all off before you go to bed; that or sleep with your head inside a bag.



Extensions are also a harmless way of getting amusing shades of non-natural hair - you can buy these in clumps from Kensington Market, or certain hairdressers will be able to get you the colour of your choice if you ask nicely. You can opt for a couple of locks in a different colour (my hairdresser currently charges a pound for putting in a clump of any colour you like); or a whole head of hair down to your knees which will hurt a lot, both physically and financially (100 quid plus) and frighten almost everyone.



Crimping produces hundreds of small, tight waves in the hair and is done by clamping locks of hair between hot curved metal plates. It is basically a "temporary perm" and lasts two or three days but will not withstand rain nor washing. Babylis are the leading crimper manufacturer and basic crimpers cost around GBP15 from Argos or Boots. Old goths also comment that if you can get older crimpers in a second hand shop ('especially gas-powered ones') these will be far more effective (if they work at all- check before you buy!).



For best crimping results, do not crimp immediately after washing your hair- allow at least a day. Long, straight, greasy hair is particularly well suited to crimping. Bleached hair is particularly NOT suited and may snap off. Consult your hairdresser if you are worried about damaging your hair, or try crimping a test section at the end of a lock of hair.



Crimping all your hair will take between thirty to ninety minutes depending on how much of the stuff you have. Switch on the crimper and allow it to heat for 10 minutes. Then, take a 2cm wide lock of hair and clamp the base of the hair between the hot plates. Don't crimp too close to the roots- it will hurt. You may notice steam rising from your hair or a smell of burning. This is normal, especially with greasy hair. Count to twenty then continue down the lock. When you reach the ends of your hair, only count to five since excessive crimping will result in split ends. Continue with the next lock of hair until all is done. Use a comb or hairband to separate the crimped from yet-to-be crimped hair. When finished, run through your hair with your fingers or a wide toothed comb to stop the locks sticking together. Do not brush your hair or use thin toothed combs as the crimp may be straightened.



"My Little Pony" is used to describe high bunches or ponytails; either one ponytail at the top centre of the head swinging backwards, or two bunches to each side of the top centre swinging backwards or to the sides. This works best with long straight hair or long crimped hair. Bend over so that your head is upside down, or lie down flat on a bed, and comb through your hair thoroughly. Grab a bunch of hair and tie it very tightly as close to the head as possible with a small hair band. If you wish, you can wrap lace around the base of the bunch to make the bunch stand up further away from the head. If you have loose hairs at the back of your neck you may wish to shave these off. Some goths have managed to combine extensions, big hair, crimping, backcombing and accessories together with small clothing and high heels to such a degree that they look as if they consist almost entirely of these hair-dos, and furthermore, can only dance by twisting their heads from side to side.



"Pineapple" describes a single high ponytail together with long loose hair at the back. Comb through thoroughly and separate the hair at the sides and top from that at the back. Put the front and side hair into a high central ponytail as outlined for a "My Little Pony" forbidden. Leave the back hair loose over down your back and over your shoulders.





18. What type of paint should I use on my leather jacket?



Use acrylic paints and a clear acrylic lacquer/varnish (available from WH Smiths). Get a small, soft brush which can be moistened into a clearly defined point. Clean the jacket with a damp cloth and let it dry thoroughly.



Sketch the design out using feint chalk or make a stencil using masking tape. Paint in thinly applied layers and allow each layer to dry fully. Apply four or more coats. Finally, apply two coats of the lacquer over the design plus a 1cm border.



The more coats of paint, the less cracks appear. You may wish to touch up the design once a year or so. Lacquer will also stop the design cracking and getting dirty.





19. What musical equipment is used to achieve common goth sounds?



For the 80's sounding jangly guitar, a semi-acoustic guitar is a must. This has a more natural, medieval mandolin sound than an electric guitar, but packs more punch than an acoustic when used for melodies.



Drenching any guitar with a chorus effect seemed pretty much mandatory at one stage (most Mission, first Sisters LP). Flange the bass if you want to sound like the Cure or Souxsie, or just turn all your effects up to 11 and jam around if you want to sound like Bauhaus. The only mob with more effects than your average goth band were the shoegazers.



Digital synths such as the Yamaha SY and Korg M series can produce some excellent string sounds which have become more popular with 90's goth music. Don't skimp on your synths; old synths and home keyboards can sound cheesy with too much squeaky treble. A good digital synth should be able to produce deep, resonant string sounds. Choral sounds are also the domain of the digital synth; look for a range of human waveforms which can provide bass notes that don't sound too breathy and soprano notes which don't sound like the Smurfs. The Yamaha SY35 and SY22 have some stunning string and choral patches as factory settings (although they may require some fiddling with to make them more punchy) and can be bought second-hand for GBP250 or less.



The reverb effect is the most popular goth effect and is also the most expensive. It provides a cathedral-like echo used to make jangly semi-acoustic guitar riffs and haunting, swirling vocals. Units start with budget floor pedal boxes from GBP60, then quickly progress into MIDI multi-effects units and on to expensive dedicated reverb units. For synths, it is often better to look for a synth with reverb built-in as this usually allows for reverb on one voice whilst leaving other voices alone. Synth reverb is especially effective on string arpeggios, choral chords and staccato woodwind melodies.



A gate effect is popular with industrial crossover bands, to chop up vocals or guitar to make them sound more artificial. Repeatedly triggering gates from MIDI sequencers can make electric guitar chords sound like punchy rhythms. Gate effects can be found in many MIDI multi-effects boxes and some analogue synths, in addition to expensive dedicated racks.



Analogue drum machines were used on early 80's goth music and are becoming popular again, although you're going to have to fight a lot of techno-heads for them. These can produce very artificial sounding rhythms using white noise and basic waveforms through analogue filters. A good model is the Notavation Drum Station which retails for around GBP450 new, but if you don't have time to program your own drum sounds, you may be better off with a synth or sampler equipped with a good set of TB808 drumkit samples. For the adventurers, the Roland MC-303 Groovebox GBP500 seems to be an ideal piece of kit as this combines analogue drums with analogue synths, as does the Yamaha CS1X GBP600 which has a full sized keyboard. For purely analogue synths try the Notavation Bass Station at GBP350. If you have money and patience, some of the 'classic' analogue synths are worth a look (Prophet V, Jupiter 8) if you can find a good one.



Goth has been going for around twenty years now, so you'll need plenty of imagination and inspiration if you don't want to sound like Goth By Numbers.





20. What health implications are there in using speed / heavy caffeine use / being anorexic / avoiding the sun?



At this point I'd like to restate that the author has no medical qualifications and you should seek professional medical advice before acting on any information given here. Information was obtained from a variety of sources including the British Medical Journal and the top of my head.



A fine set of drug-related FAQs and archives are available at: http://hyperreal.com/drugs/



Dexamphetamine is the usual constituent of 'speed'. Because reduced appetite is also a side-effect of amphetamines, they have been used in the past as a treatment for obesity. A new amphetamine drug, dexfenfluramine, is now prescribed for this purpose as it carries no risk of addiction. Some amphetamines are prescribed to asthmatics.



Amphetamines promote the release of noradrenaline (a chemical that controls the level of activity in the brain stem where the spinal cord joins the brain) thus increasing brain activity in this and other parts of the brain. In low dosages, this increases wakefulness and concentration. Some individuals, particularly the elderly or those with psychiatric problems are particularly sensitive to stimulants and may suffer adverse effects, even if exposed to low doses.



Amphetamines reduce the levels of natural stimulants in the brain stem such that after regular (ie. daily) use individuals may come to physically depend upon them to function normally. When used by people who don't need them or in excessive doses they result in over-activity of the brain, extreme restlessness, nervousness and over-anxiety. Amphetamines can cause shaking, palpitations, sweating, breathing difficulties. Exceptionally high doses can produce fits (similar to epilepsy) and hallucinations.



Regular users can expect to suffer constipation, mood swings, and become emotionally unstable. If amphetamines are always used for a particular activity, e.g. clubbing, users will gradually come to depend upon them to enjoy/be capable of performing that activity normally. They will also suffer a reduced resistance to infection (immune system is compromised).



Use of amphetamines at any stage of pregnancy increases the chances of premature birth and a low birth weight.



In short, they're pretty nasty if you overdo it. Amphetamines are classified under Schedule II (Class B) of the Misuse of Drugs Act. Possession in any form is illegal without a prescription. Theoretically, if you inject speed it becomes a Class A drug.



The sun interacts with a pigment (Melanin) in your skin to form Vitamin D. Vitamin D is vital for maintaining strong bone structure and teeth. In adults, a deficiency in Vitamin D causes backache, muscle pain and easily breakable bones. Vitamin D is available in perfectly adequate quantities from Oily fish (Sardines, Tuna, Herring), liver, most dairy products (milk, cheese, egg yolks). As long as the diet contains these, sunlight is not a requirement. Vitamin D supplements are available cross-counter. Skin ages more rapidly when exposed to the sun.



Essentially, risks associated with avoiding the sun are low as long as you eat sensibly, and your skin will be healthier than somebody who spends all day in the sun.



Heavy caffeine use will make you irritable and, in the extreme, could make you violent. Slight weight loss is not uncommon. You will tend to swear more and get annoyed easily. It can also increase your blood pressure, which can cause heart trouble. If you use caffeine tablets such as ProPlus or high-caffeine drinks such as Jolt or Virgin Energy to keep you dancing at nightclubs, drink other soft drinks to replenish your energy and quench your thirst (not Cola since that contains more caffeine, and not diet drinks since they do not contain much energy).



Anorexia Nervosa is a mental eating disorder which usually begins as a voluntary effort to lose weight. Anorexics simply don't eat very much, if at all. An Anorexic is unable to recognise when they have lost too much weight, or alternatively they may have some other reason for avoiding food (often family or social problems). Apart from being very thin and not eating, other symptoms include blotchy skin, general ill health, permanent tiredness, wasting muscles and depression. Death is not uncommon in extreme cases. Anorexia is a matter for a doctor who may refer the patient to a specialist.



Bulimia is very different to Anorexia. Bulimics will tend to eat as much, if not far more, than a normal person, but will employ various tactics to purge excess food from their system. Vomiting is common, and usually this results in strained stomach muscles and mouth ulcers from stomach acid. Only in extreme cases do stomach ulcers occur. Bulimics sometimes suffer from general ill health and long term circular phases of weight loss and filling out, but on the whole they do not feel depressed and are indistinguishable from normal people.



For professional help regarding eating disorders contact the Eating Disorders Association: Tel. 01603 621 414, Mon-Fri 9am-6:30pm. EDA Youth Helpline (18 & under) 01603 765 050, Mon-Fri 4pm-6pm.



If you want to loose weight safely and permanently, eat sensibly and exercise regularly. Exhertive nightclub dancing and sit-ups are good at shedding pounds, but you should consult your doctor before radically changing your lifeforbidden.





21. Why do so many goths listen to Radio 4? Why are people listing London underground stations? What is Mornington Crescent / ISIHAC?



BBC Radio 4 was formed in the late 60's out of the remains of the BBC Home Service, and continues a very similar schedule. It is especially well known for in-depth news coverage, science, drama and comedy and has virtually no music. It broadcasts between 92 and 94MHz FM/VHF and on 200kHz (1500m) AM/LW.



Radio 4's goth popularity may be because goths empathise with the historical days of the British Empire and the "stiff upper lip" forbidden of Radio 4. Another theory is that Radio 4's news coverage is both intelligent and mainly about death, much like most goths' conversations.



Mornington Crescent is a game played on the Radio 4 comedy quiz show "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (ISIHAC). The game is played using the London Underground railway map and the winner is the first to arrive at Mornington Crescent. Players name stations in turn, but some stations may constitute illegal moves. Newcomers are advised to learn from the experts at alt.games.mornington-crescent





22. Volvos?



Volvos are very popular with goths. It might have something to do with their hearse-like appearance (Volvos, not goths). Or maybe goths get ridiculed so much that they're the only people who can drive Volvos and not feel embarrassed. Who knows? But they are very popular with goths. [Based on a very small and biased sample -JHR]



Goth transport is whatever gets a goth to and from the pub/club/Miss Selfridge/Neff gig with appropriate comfort and convenience. This may range from clogs and a dog on a string (Neff/NMA gig) to a blown, lowered & tubbed '65 Chevy Impala with a 1K sound system. [Are you sure about this bit, John? -Ed]



[Yes, I am. Here's the relevant article from dejanews:



http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=205578892&CONTEXT=887667741.1888748066&hitnum=14



all on one line not two as shown above]



Matt black anything is bad, bright pink Stalwarts are good. Hearses, if you must, are fine when carried off with forbidden. [You're sacked -Ed]









23. What does "perky" / "mopey" mean?



"Perky" is a term applied to goths who like to dance energetically and grin manically. Perky goths tend to dress more casual than mopey goths, preferring hooded sweaters, combat trousers, heavy boots or trainers- and some of their clothing may even be colourful! Polka dots are considered quite perky, mostly due to the Strawberry Switchblade forbidden of dress. Perky make-up tends to be less precise and painstakingly done, as the most important thing is getting on that dancefloor! An inclination towards industrial or techno tastes is common.



"Mopey" refers to goths who take themselves too seriously. You can find mopey goths in the dark corners of clubs, staring blankly at their pointed feet and not talking. Should you be lucky enough to engage in conversation with a mopey goth you will most likely be told exactly why The Crow isn't the least bit goth and how the last Current93 album was poorly produced compared to their earlier work. Although primarily motionless creatures, mopey goths are prone to extreme physical violence.



These are, of course, sweeping generalisations with no basis in fact whatsoever.





24. What other Internet resources exist? What clubs / events are on?



A list of official band web sites is in section 25 "Which goth bands have official web pages?".



The official alt.gothic ftp site contains text documents, pictures, sound files, guitar tabs and more at: ftp://goth-ftp.acc.brad.ac.uk



Doktor Joy's Gig Guide is a well respected guide to UK goth and industrial clubs and events. It is posted weekly to uk.people.gothic and alt.gothic.announce and can be found on the Web at: http://www.pennangalan.co.uk/Helix/



Monochrome BBS is a British student telnet bulletin board which has a vibrant goth discussion section "Gotham City" with various text resources ([E][M][G] from main menu once you have an account). See: http://www.mono.org/



There are loads of unofficial band sites and other goth web pages; e- zines, clubs, people, you name it. It is pointless trying to list them all here because hundreds will complain they've been missed off, and by next week half the locations will be outdated.



Probably the most comprensive and regularly updated index of goth pages is VampLeStat's Gothic Resources: http://www.vamp.org/Gothic/resources.html



Yahoo put goth pages mostly under Industrial, Alternative or Indie, but there is a gothic bands index: http://www.yahoo.co.uk/Entertainment/Music/Artists/By_Genre/Gothic/ Yahoo is subject based. For keyword searches try Altavista: http://www.altavista.digital.com



Keep an eye on alt.gothic.announce for news of new goth Internet resources including web pages.



Gothic IRC channels do exist, but they're not well used by British goths. #gothic is a good start.





25. Which goth bands have official web pages?



These following goth bands and record labels have OFFICIAL web pages. Where mirrors exist, only the UK/European site is listed. There are many more unofficial fan sites, try a search engine such as Altavista:



http://www.altavista.digital.com

or VampLeStat's gothic resources:



http://www.vamp.org/Gothic/resources.html





4AD Records

http://www.4ad.com

Alien Sex Fiend

http://www.zynet.co.uk/steelwolf/ignore

All Living Fear

http://www.lis.aston.ac.uk/amp/all_living_fear.html

Big Electric Cat

http://www.hallucinet.com/cleopatra/bigElectric.html

Chaos Engine

http://www.chaosengine.com

Cleopatra Records

http://www.hallucinet.com/cleopatra

Cure

http://www.the-cure.com (Band authored)

http://miso.wwa.com/~anaconda/cure2.html (Fan authored)

Darkling Thrush

http://www.darklingthrush.com

Das Ich

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/das_ich

Dead Can Dance

http://www.nets.com/dcd/

Dreadful Shadows

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/DreadfulShadows

Earth Calling Angela

http://www.jericho.demon.co.uk/eca

Garbage

http://www.garbage.com

Judith

http://www.carpe-mortem.org/Judith

Libitina

http://www.darkwave.org.uk/~jsa/libitina

London After Midnight

http://www.LondonAfterMidnight.com

Marionettes

http://www.lis.aston.ac.uk/amp/marionettes.html

Mephisto Walz

http://www.sirius.com/~mephisto/mwhome.htm

Mute Records

(Nick Cave, DM, Neubauten, etc.)

http://www.mutelibtech.com/mute

Nightbreed Recordings

(Suspiria, Midnight Configuration etc.)

http://www.nightbrd.demon.co.uk

Phantasmagoria

http://www.pntsmgia.demon.co.uk/

Projekt Records

(Arcanta, Black Tape, Lycia, etc.)

http://www.projekt.com

Rosetta Stone

http://goth.acc.brad.ac.uk/rosettastone (Fan authored)

http://www.blakmail.demon.co.uk (Band authored)

Sheep On Drugs

http://www.brainwashed.com/sod

(Children on) Stun

http://hem.passagen.se/harlot/Stun.htm

Sunshine Blind

http://info.pitt.edu/~amkst38/Sunshine.htm

Switchblade Symphony

http://www.icubed.com/~nightsky/switch/

The Wake

http://www.nethomes.com/thewake







26. Where can I buy gothic clothes?



It's not actually that difficult to get hold of an immense gothic wardrobe, but it will take some imagination and a certain amount of cash for the particular. Although there are actual gothic clothes shops and manufacturers where you can buy off-the-peg velvet dresses, lace skirts, and what-have-you, many goths do not live near them and cannot afford forty pounds for a black crushed-velvet dress that lots of other goths have already bought. So here's some alternative suggestions (assuming you are, like most of us, on a budget and don't want to buy everything in London!). Personally I don't think I've ever paid over 25 pounds for a single item of goth clothing, and that was for a full-length velvet coat - most things come much, much cheaper if you keep looking.



First of all, you need to have a rough idea of the look you are going for - Victorian, scruffy, futuristic or clubby. After that, the best approach is to look hard in unlikely places...



The high street can have a huge amount of potential, particularly in the post-Xmas sales when a huge amount of black velvet and lace is on sale in the form of cut-price party dresses. Several goths I know get all their going-out-clothes in one massive sales swoop. This approach may not work so well in summer! Top Shop and Miss Selfridge are stores which frequently come up with some excellent goods - from PVC trousers and skirts, black mesh t-shirts, velvet bodices, fluffy jumpers... it's just a case of keeping your eyes open. This isn't limited to girls - larger sized shirts / t-shirts / skirts-for-blokes are often available.



Northern goths swear by the 'Schuh' chain for 'interesting' boots although their ranges can vary and they can be expensive if they don't have a sale on. Otherwise you may want to visit 'Ad Hoc' in London (see Yellow Pages for branches), although their boots are generally expensive all year round!



Second-hand and antique clothing shops are always worth a look although you may have to search long and hard to find something that fits you and that you can afford!



Beyond that, fetish and corset makers may offer some more expensive additions to your outfits - latex wear and corsetry are currently much in favour with goths; the trendier end of the 'club wear' market can provide some excellent (if pricey) alternatives to the standard range of clothes (e.g. Jan '97 - black devore dresses for 50 pounds); most of all, use your imagination, keep your eyes and mind open and don't feel you need to have to the 'Dark and Mournful Clothing Emporium' just to 'get the look'.



Having said that, here are some top recommendations of specialist goth shops:







London

Kensington Market, High Street Kensington

['The Black Rose' http://www.blackrose.co.uk is the main goth shop, although other shops in the market will undoubtedly interest the discerning shopper!]

Camden Market, Camden Lock [Sat. and Sun.] although London posters on the newsgroup warn against the 'Doc Rock' shop where the overpersuasive sales staff have alledgedly rather deterred people from wanting to ever go in there again!

Birmingham

Oasis Department Store, Corporation Street, Birmingham B1. Alternative department store, leather, rubber, boots, tight jeans

Rag Market, by Digbeth Bus Station, Birmingham B1. Hundreds of stalls inc. boots, leatherwear, trinkets, s/h clothing

Bristol

Elrick's, St Nicks Market. Goth clothes a-go-go!! PVC, velvet, jewellery, boots.

Various shops on Park Street and the indoor market.

Edinburgh

Various shops on Cockburn Street and the Grassmarket.





Details of any more major cities are welcome if you feel they're really worth a visit! For other shopping tips including smaller towns and regions see:



http://www.pennangalan.co.uk/Helix/

27. Where can I buy gothic music?



This is a very common question, as Goth music is notoriously difficult to get. Shops like HMV, Virgin and Our Price often only stock more mainstream gothic music such as The Cure, Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus, although Rosetta Stone has been seen in HMV!



If you live in London or Nottingham things aren't quite so bad as there is Ressurection Records and Nightbreed, but if you live in a rural middle of nowhere town you have to depend on mail order.



The most well know online store is CDNow. They have an enourmous stock of all types of music and video at reasonable prices. Being US based you can get really good bargains, if import duty is not added.



iMVS is a UK based CDNow clone. Their stock is fairly good but prices are high once "sales tax" is added, bringing them above usual shop prices.



Resurrection Records offer a mail order service, and have an extensive list including goth and industrial. Their web site is regularly updated with new releases.



Cheeky Monkey is a mail order service brought to us by the same people behind the Whitby Gothic Weekend. It covers gothic/alternative, 80's pop and 'cheesy', and nothing in their main catalogue costs more than a tenner.



Nightbreed Recordings do have a web page but its not particularly good and does not allow online ordering. A printed catalogue is available and is a better option.



Shadowplay Band Descriptions is a regularly-updated site and is said to be the largest and most complete source of gothic music information on the Internet. It contains reviews and descriptions of over 1200 bands that play goth-rock, darkwave, goth-ethereal, goth-industrial, goth-metal, dark synthpop, etc. This site also contains many links to help you to find, listen to, and purchase this music.





28. What paper-based fanzines exist?



Although fanzines are forever coming and going by their very nature, here's some of the more respected reads, which vary in the regularity of their output but should certainly have something available. Send an SAE to the address given for subscription details.



Arsenic & Old Lace

15 Georgina Road, Beeston, Nottingham, NG9 1GQ.

Tomb Raver (formerly BRV Magazine)

Flat 1, 112 St George's Terrace, Newcastle Upon Tyne, NE2

2DP.

Email: darkbeat@cableinet.co.uk

Dark Hours

Flat 4, 3 Agamemnon Road, West Hampstead, London NW6 1EB.

Email: dkhrs@darkhours.com

T-shirt also available: 'When the Dark Comes'

Grave Generation

L. Byrne, 3 Gladwyn Avenue, West Didsbury, Manchester,

M20 2XN.

Naked truth

Flat 4, 39 Hamilton Drive, Hillhead, Glasgow, G12 8DW

Tel 0141 334 6902

Lowlife (revived, for those who thought it had died)

c/o 11 Parkwood Road, Hastings, East Sussex, TN34 2RN.



Updates are welcomed. Please email James Savage with subject "UPG FAQ".



The UPG FAQ was originally written by Andrew Oakley 4/9/96



Thanks to:



UPG FAQ editorial committee 1996

James "CountB" Savage (sections 8, 17, 23, 27)

JSA (13, 17, 26 & 28)

John Hawkes-Reed (9, 19, 20, 22 & 25)

Pat Hawkes-Reed (11, 13 & 16)



Charter and administrative info

Alien



Legal advice regarding copyright

Chris Billington of Christopher Davidson & Co. Solicitors, Cheltenham



Leather jacket painting

Alison Gardner



Text mirroring & darkwave.org.uk sysadmin

Dishmop Dave



netgoth.org.uk & netgoth.co.uk sysadmin

Nic Gibson



HTML conversion 1996 edition

Dave Hodder



alt.gothic FTP site administrator

Phil Jeffcock



Medical data & Helix links

Doktor Joy



Hair dyeing tips

Emma

Carole

Wendi



Positive side of vampire culture

Vlad

...and everyone else on UPG who contributed.

Embrace the Dark Side Michael J. Fanuele
18:58 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,894

Ivory soap has been bringing “good, clean fun” to families for more than 125 years. Along with other classic brands like Sears, Kraft, and Tropicana, Ivory has spent decades presenting a vision of life that’s all sweetness and light. That vision is also simplistic, cloying, and quickly losing its draw. BrandZ, a global study conducted by the London-based marketing services company WPP, categorizes these once-great brands as “fading stars.” They’ve lost the image-based advantage that once made them beloved.



Today’s consumers don’t trust the artificial, two-dimensional images that used to work in ads. Sadly, many brand managers haven’t figured this out. They’re selling fairy tales in a reality-TV world. They haven’t learned that imperfections can actually be a source of great appeal. It’s not that people are drawn to products’ shortcomings; it’s that they’ve grown suspicious of things that seem too pure. To be strong, brands need authenticity, and that can be found in a brand’s shadows, or its darker attributes—what market researchers call “negative equity” and brand managers try their hardest to hide.



The few brands that have searched for strength in their shadows have found great success. A few years ago, I helped reposition Lipton Cup-a-Soup, one of those brands whose history was filled with saccharine moms and smiling kids. We started by accepting the truth: The 1970s are over. These days, no right-minded parent would serve something so high in sodium and low in nutritional content as part of a family dinner. We promoted Cup-a-Soup as an office snack instead, an alternative to a late-afternoon Snickers or Coke. By locating a new, more beneficial context for the brand’s negative attributes, we increased sales every month the ads ran, delivering a 60% cumulative spike on top of a price increase of 20%.



I had a similar experience working with a marketing team on Ragú. For years, Ragú was in a pitched battle with Prego over which sauce was thicker. We ended that fight by accepting Ragú’s shadow. Our brand wasn’t as rich and chunky as Prego, but that could be an advantage. Chunky sauce may be good for grown-ups, but it’s not for the typical ten-year-old. Instead of trying to convince the world that Ragú was hearty, we celebrated what it truly was: a kid’s delight. The strategy reversed a decadelong sales decline.



Perhaps the best example of “shadow branding” is the London police force’s dramatic recruitment campaign in 2000. The effort eschewed the traditional trappings of recruitment advertising. It didn’t promise an exciting career, valuable skills, or the respect of schoolchildren. Rather, it showed how difficult the job was. One ad featured Simon Weston, a badly scarred Falklands veteran whose artillery boat had been bombed. The war hero wept, asking viewers to imagine “going round to someone’s house…to tell a man that his wife and child have been killed in a car crash.” Another commercial asked viewers to envision how horrible it would be to have to respond to a call about a baby who had died in his sleep—to collect the child’s teddy bear in a plastic evidence bag as the inconsolable mother watched. These ads depicted police work as distressing, and yet they attracted recruits. To gauge the effectiveness of the campaign, the ads directed prospective applicants to a dedicated phone number and Web site. More than 100,000 inquiries flooded the recruitment office, and from that eager pool the police force selected 6,000 new officers—a 50% increase over the previous year, according to the British Home Office.



Part of the appeal was that the ads issued one big professional dare: Are you brave enough to be a police officer? But something deeper was at work. A survey conducted by TNS Gallup found that people who had seen the ads were twice as likely to “respect the police” as those who hadn’t. The difficult part of policing—its dark and scary shadow—made the London police brand more authentic and thus more appealing.



The lesson here? Perfect purity is perfectly dull. In our personal lives, we’re hardly ever attracted to slick virtue; we love people with all their faults and flaws and contradictions. Likewise with brands. In acknowledging their shadows, brands target the right people, and they do so convincingly. Their shadows make them stronger.

Why It’s Important To Understand Your Dark Side January 13, 2015 by Milan Karmeli.
18:56 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,895

When you were little, were you afraid of the dark? Most of us were. And I doubt we ever thought to question this fear. We were almost naturally taught to be afraid of the dark, because the dark is full of unknown things that might hurt us.



But what usually happened when you turned the light on? You learned the unknown things were not so scary. And they were not so unknown. They were just part of the environment.



We learned to associate darkness with scary and unknown, and we learned it’s better not to speak with our dark thoughts and emotions. Turning the light on our emotional shadow is a lot more challenging than flicking a physical light switch on. So we avoid it. Superficiality is easier. But this darkness of our soul has a life of its own which thrives, whether or not we choose to acknowledge it. It’s there, and it’s powerful.



Understanding Darkness

This fear of our emotional complexity grew as we grew, and with time became our shadow. It’s a hidden part in us that influences our choices more often than we are aware.



In truth, much effort goes into repressing and hiding it from ourselves and others. It’s our dark side. The parts we are ashamed and afraid to show. But through denial, we fail to see that in the obscurity of darkness also lay our strengths.



For reasons originating in the past, we have decided to negate and hide this dark side without exploring it further. And so in return it keeps us distant from truly expressing ourselves.



In many ways, hiding our shadow can be considered the highest form of betrayal. By concealing this part of us, we are saying we don’t deserve to show our complete selves, thereby betraying ourselves. In return, secrecy, manipulation, and pretending take over large parts of our lives from fear of being ‘exposed’ and rejected for the part of ourself we are hiding.



As mentioned, our shadow can show itself as weakness or strength. Becoming aware of our complete self allows us an opportunity for expressing strength. Ignoring these qualities, however, will always produce a damaging result.



The more we repress these dark corners of our being, the more we face disorder in our personality. This can manifest as addiction, anxiety, intentionally failed relationships or jobs, or other behaviors that cause destruction to ourselves and others.



To become aware of our shadow is to shed light on our earliest wounds and to give ourselves a chance for healing and transformation. But as long as we choose to close our eyes to this, the wounds will continue to decay while emitting poison into our lives.



To Deepen Our Spirituality, We Must Pass Through the Shadow

Any spiritual work must entail exposure and understanding of our shadow. Solely focusing on finding our light keeps us away from places of shame, guilt, jealousy, greed, competition, lust and aggression. But it is these very emotions that must be worked through first before coming near our lighter sides.



Even certain spiritual practices like meditation can become difficult when we try to ignore our shadow self. Its repression shows up when we shut our eyes, and we’re left with only our thoughts.



As with all strong emotions, what we don’t want to look at always keeps us contracted and in rejection. Deep down we know these qualities and feelings reside in us, and hiding them leads us to a life of inauthenticity and sometimes incomprehensible self-destructive behavior.



If our shadow is not acknowledged and embraced, the depth of our spiritual and personal growth is limited. Denying to look at the darkness is rejecting ourselves the need to be received in totality by others.



We start to overidentify with the side of ourself acquired through our own perception of reality. This in turn shapes our personality, the superficial side of us, which the world meets.



Our roles and personality try their best to help us feel worthy and lovable. For some, it is by being intelligent, successful, and powerful while for others it is the opposite. In whichever way our personality tries to control life, it remains just another attempt to be loved for something we know we’re not.



As long as this partial picture of ourselves is kept intact, we create separation. The message is “I don’t want to look and feel certain parts inside me and I prefer to judge others for showing and living what I choose to reject”, hence choosing separation, inside and out. It is a painful cage of continuous isolation.



Embracing The Complete You

The way to our light is through darkness. Whether we want it or not, the dark side in us is very active even though it is concealed and not evident to the outside. But we know it’s there, continuously asking for recognition.



The shadow should be met in a safe and loving environment. Otherwise, it is too afraid that its face will cause devastation and result in further isolation. When it’s safe we can start looking, seeing, and expressing what has been hidden from our awareness.



There are many unpolished diamonds of strength, creativity, and beauty, which we’ve kept limited so that others close don’t feel small, intimidated or scared. Speaking to our shadow is an immense step towards healing and self-love.



Initially, when we embark on this exciting and necessary journey, we may not be sure who we really are. But this is only because we are so used to our masks that expressing our true self is like meeting a familiar stranger. Soon new possibilities, choices and, perceptions appear.



Suddenly we can face the many question marks in our life from a place of strength and authenticity. We strengthen our capacity to be in this world more fully and completely. So, are you ready?

Illuminative Ways To Encounter Your Shadow Self by MATEO SOL
18:53 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,896

"If thy eye be single, thy whole body shall be filled with light." (Matthew 6:22)



There exists a profound ancient inner balancing ritual performed by the Curanderos (shamanic healers) of Peru. This balancing ritual is what they call a rite of passage that is passed down to all those who are interested in the ways of the living energies.



What happens in this ritual is detailed as the following: The Curandero works from behind his Mesa (table) which is an altar for healing ceremonies. This table is then divided into three different sections. The right side is filled with "light" elements that exist as objects such as the crucifix, feathers, flowers, photos of saints and khuyas (stones of power). The left is made up of all the dark elements of life, such as knives, weapons and any item that carries destructive energy. The middle of the table between these two opposing energy forces, is said to be where the healing happens.



The first time I was taught how to perform this ritual during my initiation, I was struck by its symbolic message of simple truth; in order for any healing to occur, our good and evil must overlap. It's not light or darkness that creates the healing, but the meeting point where they both touch.



In reality, this idea of a meeting point between the two strongest forces of life is not limited to shamanic healers, but has been known for thousands of years. This idea was represented, for instance, by the old esoteric Christian shape known as the Mandorla (illustrated above).



The Mandorla, which means almond in Italian, is the almond shape that emerges when two circles partly overlap each other. Curiously, this shape can be found throughout historical spiritual artwork, from Gothic architecture to stained glass windows in cathedrals. Mandorlas are often described as the overlap between Heaven and Earth or Spirit and Matter, and can be defined as a place of reconciliation, transformation and incarnation.



In my previous Shadow Self article I wrote about the importance of accepting and integrating your shadow self into your daily life. St. Augustine once shouted, "To act is to sin." And in truth, the act of creation is an act of destruction at the same time; you're always changing something. Light cannot be made without corresponding darkness, which is precisely why creative activities are the best ways to encounter your Shadow Self.



Here I will give a few practical examples that I also share with my students, regarding how this connection with your Shadow Self can be achieved.



Draw or Paint



Art is the highest form of self expression and also a great way to allow your shadow to manifest itself. In Psychology an effective way to better understand a child patient is to give them paper and crayons and allow them to draw whatever comes to mind.







In adults expressing our inner selves is a bit more difficult, as that shadow has been repressed a lot more deeply and for a longer period of time. However, if you allow yourself to feel any of these darker emotions, without fearing judgement from yourself while drawing or painting for example, you'll begin to gain insight into your Shadow Self and reveal more about your obscure inner half.



Build



One of Jung's greatest insights was that the Ego and the Shadow come from the same source, and balance each other exactly. This is quite prevalent in life, and we are all aware of the suicidal creative geniuses or the eccentric lives of artists that exist in life.



Creativity, as St. Augustine said, is the antithesis of our Shadows. Limited creativity means a limited Shadow, while great creativity comes with a heavier Shadow. Examples include the descent into madness from Nietzsche and Schumann to Van Gogh, who all possessed heavy Shadows.



Whether woodwork, clay sculpting or composing music, the act of creation provides space for your darker elements to emerge and manifest themselves through impatience, anger, frustration while also feeling fulfillment and joy at the same time. Being Self-Aware and using Self-Exploration mindfully during this experience will reap deeper insights into your darkness.



Write



Goethe's Faust is, in my opinion, one of the best works featuring the meeting of an Ego and his Shadow Self. His story details the life of a Professor who becomes so separated and overwhelmed by his Shadow elements that he comes to the verge of suicide, only to realize that the redemption of the ego is solely possible if the Shadow is redeemed at the same time.



Writing a story where you project your Shadow elements onto the characters is a great way to learn more about your inner darkness. If stories aren't your thing, keeping a journal or diary everyday for a few weeks where you record both good and bad emotions can shine a light on the darker elements of your nature. Reading through these emotions can help you recover the balance you need in your life, and accept both light and dark emotions within you.



Projection



Unless you consciously work on your Shadow through some of the above techniques, you'll begin to find that your shadow is unconsciously projected onto someone or something else, so as to avoid responsibility for it.



This, however, can become another way of exploring your Shadow by becoming mindful and conscious of what it is we unconsciously choose to project our Shadows onto. What's interesting and hard to understand is that we not only project our negative traits and elements onto others, but our good ones as well. It's as if we unconsciously refuse to embrace our noble elements because the Ego is afraid that these positive elements will change and upset our current personality structure.



When becoming consciously aware of what you're projecting your shadow onto, you simply have to observe what it is you secretly like or don't like. For instance, current movies and television shows reflect our deep interest in the darker aspects of ourselves. Why else would we have such fascination with this constant battle between good and evil forces? Superhero, fantasy or action films depict the Heroes vs. Villains dichotomy, while we also fall in love with charming characters that embrace their dark sides such as Dexter, The Joker or Walter White (Breaking Bad).



Often our noblest traits are projected onto the people we like, admire or fall in love with. The opposite is also true, and the most defenseless of beings can become the carriers of your projected Shadow Self. Children for example, provide the perfect outlet to our anger, frustration and all other negative emotions. The smallest of accidents or naughty actions can be punished with disproportionately destructive wrath's. Pet's, unfortunately, are just as vulnerable. Projection for many of us, is always easier than assimilation.



Projection, no matter whether light or dark is always something detrimental. You not only burden another person with your dark elements or pressures of idolization, but you also avoid responsibility for your Shadow and lose the opportunity of finding a state of ecstatic wholeness.



"If thy eye be single, thy whole body shall be filled with light." (Matthew 6:22) Our right eye sees one thing, our left eye sees another, but when these two eyes meet a third eye is formed, the single eye, and that shall fill you with light.



Let me know in the comments what ways you've managed to encounter your Shadow Self.

Shadow Self: Embracing Your Inner Darkness by MATEO SOL
18:51 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,897

It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses- and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster. ~ Carl Jung, "On the Psychology of the Unconscious."



If you're truly honest about self-exploration during your journey of Involution, you will come across many aspects and traits about yourself that you will find difficult - if not completely disturbing - to accept.



In the domain of psychology, renowned psychologist Carl Jung devoted a lot of thought to this problem of the "Shadow Self", being deeply invested in the research of ancient esoteric knowledge and spiritual scriptures to not only treat the mind of man, but his soul as well.



In response to his serious preoccupation Jung created the Archetypes model, a concept wherein he believed our unconscious minds are fragmented or structured into different "selves" in an attempt to organize how we experience different things in life. Two of Jung's major Archetypes are The Persona and The Shadow Self.



The Birth Of The Shadow Self



So what exactly is the "Persona" and "Shadow Self"? Well the Persona, according to Jung, defines what we would like to be and how we wish to be seen by the world. The word "persona" is derived from a Latin word that literally means "mask", however in this instance the word can be applied metaphorically, representing all of the different social masks that we wear among different groups of people and situations.



On the other hand, the Shadow Self is an archetype that forms part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions and embarrassing fears. This archetype is often described as the darker side of the psyche, representing wildness, chaos and the unknown. Jung believed that these latent dispositions are present in all of us, in many instances forming a strong source of creative energy.



We are all born pure, like blank canvases. But at some point during our childhood development, we learn knowledge that teaches us to separate things into good and evil. The moment we eat from this tree of knowledge, our shadows are born and we begin to divide ourselves. Furthermore, in our cultural 'socialization' process, we begin to sort out those traits within us that are acceptable in society, and those unacceptable traits that aren't (which are later hidden away). As Jung said:



What we call civilized consciousness has steadily separated itself from the basic instincts. But these instincts have not disappeared. They have merely lost their contact with our consciousness and are thus forced to assert themselves in an indirect fashion. This may be by means of physical symptoms in the case of a neurosis, or by means of incidents of various kinds, or by unaccountable moods, unexpected forgetfulness, or mistakes in speech... modern man protects himself against seeing his own split state by a system of compartments. Certain areas of outer life and of his own behavior are kept, as it were, in separate drawers and are never confronted with one another.



Thus, the dark shadow traits that we all possess accumulate in the corners of our unconscious minds, never becoming adequately integrated into our conscious minds because we never see our split state in the first place (due to our psychological 'defence mechanisms'). And so we continue on accumulating these dark desires, motivations and fears.



This can be dangerous. Through observing many of our Involution students for example, I've come across certain individuals who have allowed their Shadow Selves to accumulate for so long that they've erupted and overpowered the person through depression or an unconscious accident that ended up manifesting their inner "Monsters". This can lead to physical, emotional, psychological and interpersonal consequences that can last for a very long time.







Repression Of The Shadow Self



It's understandable that our civilizing process requires us to repress aspects of ourselves that do not fit in with the structured ideal of our society. We are born whole and complete, but slowly we learn to live fractioned lives, accepting some parts of our nature but rejecting and ignoring other parts.



A holiday to a different part of the world will show you how arbitrary some of these divisions are. In the West for example, eye contact is perceived as confident and engaging, whereas in Japan it's perceived as arrogant and rude. In the Middle East burping after a meal is a sign of pleasure, yet anywhere else in the world it's seen as vulgar and uncouth. And in American TV shows depicting violent murders is considered more acceptable than showing nudity or sexual acts, whereas in Europe it's the complete opposite. These are just a few examples.



Basically, the repression of our negative traits or emotions in society is one of the biggest barriers in any persons journey towards Self-Love and living authentically. How can you completely and whole-heartedly accept who you are if there are sides of yourself that you're too afraid to explore?



Don't get me wrong, the idea of the "Shadow Self" doesn't only apply to psychology. Many ancient Shamanic teachings, including the ones I was taught in, involved the preparation towards an illness or a spiritual death (by ascending into your own darkness or "Shadow Self"), and being reborn in an attempt to provide you with the experience and insight to heal yourself and bring that healing wisdom to the people of your tribe.



So, apart from modern day society's ideas of acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour, what else causes such a great repression of the Shadow Self? In truth, a lot of it actually comes from the endless cornucopia of "feel good" motivational teachings out there. If you notice, a lot of modern spiritual and religious work revolves around moving towards the "light", accepting the "light" and seeking for the "light". Yet by doing so, we ignore the entirety of what it is to be human! In fact, many of the spiritual and new age teachings out there provide an escape for those who do not want to be responsible for the entirety of themselves and their lives. Understandably the "light" energies are usually represented with noble values such as as love, peace, joy, harmony, compassion, entirely ignoring the darker elements within us such as anger, vengeance, control, fear, shame, competitiveness, jealousy, lust, etc. Because these darker characteristics are associated with 'negativity', they're avoided out of fear.



Interestingly, many seekers of spiritual growth think that somehow all of the negative qualities within themselves will eventually be transcended. Yet from my own experience, embracing your inner darkness allows for the creation of a psychological and spiritual balance, an integrated whole - whereas denying it creates chaos and disharmony.



The keyword here is "integrate", which comes from the Latin word integratus, meaning to ‘make whole’. To integrate an inner quality is to take ownership and responsibility for it, rather than rejecting or denying it. The benefits are many; sanity, healing, and wholeness are all found in integration. On the other hand, the opposite of integration is to ‘disintegrate’ – or to be fragmented and divided into pieces. A person that 'breaks down' or 'falls apart' for instance, is someone who has been unable to handle stress and who has ignored too many of their personality traits, especially Shadow Self traits. In reality, a fragmented person can never handle adversity because they have no whole centre, and they're always handling life from the corners of their personality parts.



The Right and Left Handed Paths



In esoteric branches of Hinduism such as Tantra, or Western Esoteric Occult teachings, they have what is called Right and Left handed paths towards the Higher Self. Throughout history the left has always been associated with dark, radical or sinister elements. Even the etymology of the word "sinister" means "from the left side". Also, in Muslim, Chinese, Judeo-Christian and even Hindu religions the left hand is associated with being the unclean one, which is most likely why some of these cultures use it to wipe their ... behinds! Interestingly, British studies in the 1970's found that there had been an increase in the number of left-handed people compared to previous generations, suggesting that many left handers had taught themselves to be right-handed for social, religious or practical reasons.



These days, the "right handed path" is what most of us understand to be the pursuit for positive things such as overcoming personal flaws and limitations, purifying our sins and anything else that helps us connect to our "higher selves". The left handed path however is associated with parts within us that are typically fought against, rejected, denied, feared, and thus it becomes our biggest inner hindrance, but at the same time, the key to our liberation.



The truth is that we have both hands, not just one, and we must learn to use them in a balanced way if we seek to live a balanced life. The Right hand seeks to improve the personal self, overcome its flaws, but the Left hand seeks investigation, seeks to be 'selfish' in its pursuit of Self-Love. Just like in the Yin and Yang, when you reach a deep balance, suddenly the dichotomy of right and left will disappear.



Personally I like to think that first there was darkness. Unlike light, darkness is infinite. Under every rock, you will find darkness, but light and darkness need each other to come into existence. Unless you learn to first embrace that darkness within yourself, you can never pursue the light of Self-Love in a balanced way.



Many new age teachings talk about leaning towards the "higher chakras" and avoiding the lower ones. However, in the long term this won't be very helpful. Unless the foundation of your home is solid and stable, no matter how beautifully you decorate and work on the house itself, sooner or later your house will collapse and crumble down.



Embracing The Shadow Self



Our journey of Self-Exploration is a bit like Dante's Inferno. Before making our way out of "hell" we must walk through the depths of our inner darkness. Many religions symbolize these experiences well. Two famous examples include the case of Jesus who had to face Satan in the desert, and Buddha's encounter with Mara (the Buddhist Satan) before his "awakening".



When I write about embracing or integrating your shadow self, I do not mean to indulge in any desire that arises within you. Indulging your anger for instance, will simply result in more anger. By embracing your inner darkness I mean that it is necessary for you to "accept" it. Accepting your darkness will allow you to take responsibility for yourself, and once you truly acknowledge one of these dark traits instead of avoiding them, suddenly, they will stop having control over you. By being honest with ourselves and accepting our shadow elements, it frees us up to truly witness the uncharted areas of our minds, allowing us to see that we are not these elements, but simply possess thoughts, feelings and drives that come and go. You cannot simply go "beyond hatred" if first you don't admit to yourself that you do in fact possess hateful feelings.



To completely experience Self-Love we must learn to experience our Shadow Selves, and voyage into the dark, murky waters of the unknown courageously. Otherwise, every time we condemn other people for their shadow traits, we're in essence condemning our hypocritical selves in the process.



A whole and balanced self is a reconciliation of all parts, an inner unification. It is not an indulgence of the darker parts of our natures, but an acceptance and direct experience of them in the light of mindful awareness and deep honesty. This is the entire opposite of many self-denying traditional spiritual methods of subduing, denying, or ascetically disciplining the self. To live differently, as is the aim and motivation of LonerWolf, is to be authentic. And in order to be authentic we have to embrace our inner selves - that which is culturally uncommon or bizarre.



It's astounding to realize that often the mundane characteristics in people are the ones that are socially acceptable. In essence, any "primitive" traits within us gets sent to our Shadow Selves, but at the same time, any creative, unique, innovative and different ideas also get sent to our Shadow Selves because they're not socially acceptable.



Exploring your darkness is not necessarily all doom and gloom. In fact, you may be surprised by the endless array of creative and interesting 'things' you find that have been secretively stored away.



To accept and embrace your Shadow Self is to go back and become "whole" again and thus taste a glimpse of what authentic "holiness" feels like.

Owning Our Dark Sides By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. Associate Editor ~ 3 min read
18:49 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,899




Owning Our Dark Sides All of us have a dark side. This dark side includes qualities we don’t dare reveal to others. It’s the traits we are ashamed of and embarrassed about. It’s the traits others have rejected. It’s the traits we believe deem us undeserving or unworthy of love.



You may be judgmental, weak, angry, lazy, selfish or controlling. You may hate this about yourself. Or you might’ve buried these traits so deep you don’t even realize they exist.





But embracing these negative qualities actually opens the door to happiness, fulfillment and “true enlightenment,” according to Debbie Ford in her book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.



Our dark sides are part of who we truly are. By uncovering and embracing our shadow side, we become whole.



“Every aspect of ourselves has a gift. Every emotion and every trait we possess helps show us the way to enlightenment, to oneness,” writes Ford, who was a speaker, teacher and coach.



For instance, Ford shares the story of Steven, a man who was worried about being a “wimp.” When he was five years old, Steven told his father that he was terrified of going on a pony ride. His father replied: “What kind of man are you going to make? You’re nothing but a little wimp, you’re an embarrassment in our family.”



These words stayed with Steven. In fact, he did everything he could to prove he wasn’t weak — from becoming a black belt in karate to lifting weights. He also hated seeing weakness in others. After talking to Ford, however, Steven realized that he was still a wimp in some areas of his life and being a wimp actually helped him.



Being a wimp made him cautious. This not only “kept him out of fights,” Ford writes, but, in college, it also made him pass on going out with his friends because he didn’t want to drive drunk or be in the car with people who were drinking. His friends ended up driving off the road. His closest friend died, and everyone else was seriously injured.



When we don’t own a part of ourselves, it can run our lives. We may try so hard not to show weakness or stupidity or imperfection that we start chasing dreams we don’t even want. We fill our days with empty duties. We become people we don’t even recognize all because we’re trying to prove our worth. According to Ford, “We exhaust our internal resources when we try not to be something.”



In the book, Ford includes exercises to help readers uncover and embrace their dark sides. In one exercise, she suggests imagining that a newspaper article is written about you.



Write down five things you wouldn’t want to be said about you. Next, imagine five things the newspaper could write about you, but it wouldn’t matter to you.



Then ask yourself these questions: “Are the first five things true and the second five untrue? Or, have you decided with the help of your family and friends that the first five things are the wrong things to be, therefore you do not want them said about you?”



Lastly, write down a judgment you hold for each sentence you wrote. Try to pinpoint the time you first made this judgment and where it came from.



Another way to uncover your dark side is by paying attention to the traits that bother you in others. What initially prompted Steven to have his realization about being a wimp was his dislike for another man at Ford’s seminar. “He’s a wimp, and I hate wimps,” he told Ford.



Ford suggests making a list of the traits you dislike or hate in others. Think of a time in your life when you’ve displayed each trait or when someone else thought you did. Explore your judgments about each trait along with your judgments about the people who display this trait.



After uncovering your dark side, consider how these negative traits have been helpful to you. Has your imperfection made you a more compassionate parent? Like Steven, has your cautiousness helped you avoid potentially dangerous situations? Has your “weakness” made you more vulnerable and helped you build a closer bond with your spouse?



Acknowledging our negative traits can be tough. And you might be tempted to berate yourself for these traits. Instead, try to be compassionate. Remember there is no such thing as perfection.



As Ford writes:



We live under the impression that in order for something to be divine it has to be perfect. We are mistaken. In fact, the exact opposite is true. To be divine is to be whole and to be whole is to be everything: the positive and the negative, the good and the bad, the holy man and the devil. When we take the time to discover our shadow and its gifts we will understand what Jung meant by, “The gold is in the dark.” Each of us needs to find that gold in order to reunite with our sacred self.



Embrace your shadow. Let the dark coexist with the light because this is what makes us whole. This is what makes us authentic. This is what makes us human.

A COMPENDIUM OF ANGEL NAMES OCTOBER 29, 2014 MICHELLE BELANGER
18:43 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,900




The following is an extensive list of angel names. It’s part of a larger collection of magickal names I’ve been compiling over the past year. The names come from several sources, including The Book of Enoch I (Charles translation), Gustav Davidson’s classic work A Dictionary of Angels, Matthew Bunson’s Angels A to Z, and the Angels encyclopedia put out by Visible Ink Press (compiled by James Lewis and E. Dorothy Oliver), in addition to a few sources of Medieval ceremonial magic, such as Richard Kieckhefer’s Forbidden Rites.

There will be a separate compendium that lists demon names.



Technically, angels are differentiated from demons because the latter fell while the former remained associated with the Heavenly host. But of course it’s never as simple as that, and there are certainly the names of fallen angels mixed in throughout this list (especially with those taken from the Book of Enoch).



How do you resolve the issue of fallen versus not fallen in the matter of heavenly beings? If you go by the edicts of the Medieval Church, the only angels who are to be considered legitimate and not fallen are those three archangels whose names appear specifically in the Bible: Raphael, Gabriel, and Michael.



Of course, conspicuously, these three also appear specifically by name within the sacred texts of another culture entirely. In the Sumerian tale of Inanna’s descent into the Underworld, Michael, Gabriel, and associates stand guard at each of the gates of hell. Those who would later be adopted as archangels into Jewish myth appear as guardians who exact payment from the goddess before she may pass through the various levels of the underworld in her attempt to reach the throne of her sister, Ereshkigal.



The voluminous lore of angels and demons that has grown up throughout the ages holds that same fascination for me that most bodies of myth do. I imagine that many of you will find this list insteresting, if only for the sake of curiosity. Enjoy.



A Compendium of Angel Names



Aarin: Variant of the term used to describe the angles who walked out of Heaven, mated with the daughters of man, and produced the Nephilim; appears in the Book of Enoch

Abaddon: Angel of the Abyss

Abalim: “Great angels”; fiery guardians; name for the Order of Thrones

Abdiel: courageous “flaming seraph”; from Milton’s Paradise Lost

Adimus: angel once venerated by the Church; probably derived from the First Man

Adoel: angel who governed the explosion that caused the universe to be created (essentially the angel of the Big Bang); from the Book of Enoch

Af:terrible angel made of red and black flame

Ahiah: half-angel son of Semyaza

Akhazriel: “herald of God”

Amaliel: protector from weakness

Anahita: a fiery, beautiful female angel; also associated with water; from Persian myth

Anaiel: angel who taught knowledge to man; from the Book of Enoch

Anak: “giant”; mortal with angelic blood

Anakim: “giants”; race of fierce giants mentioned in the Bible; descended of the Nephilim

Anaphiel: high angel of the Merkabah; bearer of the seal

Angelos: Greek for “messenger”; a heavenly being

Aphaeleon: ruler of fallen angels named in ceremonial magic

Appolyon: Angel of the Abyss

Arakiba: angel in the Book of Enoch

Aralim: “Great angels”; Thrones; fiery guardians

Araquiel: taught the signs of the earth; from the Book of Enoch

Arariel: angel of the oceans; helper of fishermen; from Medieval angel lore

Archon: angelic governor of the material world; from Gnostic myth

Ariel: “lion of God”; a spirit of the air; source: Hebrew myth; appears also in Shakespeare

Arioch: one of the fallen angels; from Milton’s Paradise Lost; also appears in the works of Michael Moorcock

Ariuk: preserver of Enoch; from the Book of Enoch

Armaros: taught how to resolve enchantments; from the Book of Enoch

Armisael: an angel of childbirth

Asaph: angel who supposedly authored Psalms 73-83

Asuriel: angel who warned of the Flood; from the Book of Enoch

Azazel: taught men of metals and gems; from the Book of Enoch

Azrael: the angel of death; appears in the writings of Leilah Wendall

Ballaton: guardian invoked in Solomonic magick

Baradiel: heavenly prince; angel of hail; from the Book of Enoch

Baraqiel: heavenly prince; angel of lightning; from the Book of Enoch

Barattiel: supports the highest heaven; from the Book of Enoch

Bethor: angel of the planet Jupiter; appears in ceremonial magic

Boamiel: angel of the four quarters of Heaven; appears in ceremonial magic

Boel: angel of the planet Saturn

Camael: “he who sees God”

Camiel: variant of Camael; “he who sees God”

Caphriel: angel of the Sabbath

Cassiel: angel of tears and temperance; appears in ceremonial magic

Cerviel: angel of principalities

Chalkydri: either “brass serpents” or companions to the sun; from the Book of Enoch

Chamuel: “he who seeks God”

Chasan: governor of air; appears in ceremonial magic

Daniel: “God is my Judge”; Hebrew — also the name of a Prophet

Dubbiel: protector of the Persians

Duma: the angel of silence; also the patron of Egypt

Empyrean: the highest heaven; heaven of fire; appears in Milton’s Paradise Lost

Ephemera: “short-lived”; angels who exist solely to sing the praises of God

Erelim: “the valiant ones”; a name for the Order of Thrones

Exousia: “power” or “virtue”; alternate word for Angel; Greek

Ezequiel: taught the knowledge of clouds; from the Book of Enoch

Gabriel: “God is my strength”; angel of judgment; one of the angels who actually appears by name in the Bible

Gadiel: invoked to repel evil; appears in ceremonial magic

Gadriel: taught men warfare; from the Book of Enoch

Gagallim: “spheres”; a name for the Order of Thrones; from Hebrew lore

Gazardiel: the angel of sunrise and sunset

Germael: “majesty of God”; an angel of creation

Gezuriya: an angel of the Order of Powers

Gibborim: half-angelic giants; “men of renown”; Hebrew & Biblical lore

Grigori: from the Greek for “watchers”; the Watchers of the Throne; a minor order of angels

Habriel: angel of the Order of Powers

Hadariel: “the Glory of God”

Hadramiel: “the Glory of God”; variant of Hadariel

Hamon: a prince of heaven; mentioned in the Book of Enoch

Haniel: “the grace of God”

Haroth: twin of Maroth who knew secret name of God; appears in Persian myth

Hashmal: leader of the Order of Dominions

Hayliel: wielder of the fiery lash; from the Book of Enoch

Hemah: terrible angel made of red and black flame; appears in Hebrew lore

Hochmael: “the wisdom of God”

Irin: alternate word for the Nephilim; “the Watchers”; one source suggests that Ireland earned its ancient name of Eryn because it was first settled by this fallen race

Ishim: angels of fire and ice

Israfel: angel of the Resurrection

Ithuriel: messenger of Gabriel; appears in Milton’s Paradise Lost

Jabril: Muslim variant of Gabriel

Jael: guardian of the Ark of the Covenant

Jeduthun: choirmaster given angelic status

Jehoel: guide and guardian; a seraph

Jeremiel: “mercy of God”; variant of Ramiel

Kadmiel: an angel of childbirth

Kajabiel: “the star of God”; an angel of astrology

Kalmiya: a guardian of the veil

Kasbiel: taught the Name that binds oaths; from the Book of Enoch

Kasdeja: taught of spirits, birth control; from the Book of Enoch

Kemuel: variant of Camael; “he who sees God”

Kerubiel: fearsome angel of flame and lightning; head of the Choir of Cherubim

Kezef: an angel of destruction

Kochbiel: “the star of God”; angelic astrologer

Lahabiel: protector and guardian

Lailah: “night”; an angel of conception; a feminine angel from Muslim lore

Layla: variant of “Lailah”; “night”

Lucifiel: “light bearer”; star of morning; a variant of Lucifer

Lucifer: associated with the stor of morning; fairest of angels who challenged God and subsequently cast from Heaven for his pride

Machidiel: “the fullness of God”; from the Book of Enoch

Madan: angel _f the planet Mercury; appears in ceremonial magic

Mahanaim: “two armies”; the heavenly host; appears in Hebrew lore

Malachi: “messenger of God”

Malakh: “messenger”; a heavenly being; Muslim term for an angel

Mariuk: guardian of Enoch; from the Book of Enoch

Maroth: twin of Haroth who knew secret name of God; appears in Persian lore

Mastema: “the Accusing Angel”

Matariel: angel of rain

Melkyal: “the fullness of God”; from the Book of Enoch

Merkabah: “chariot”; a mystical path to God

Metatron: angel of the presence; divine archivist; intermediary or mouthpiece of God

Michael: sword of God and warrior-prince of Heaven; one of the archangels who appears by name in the Bible

Mikhal: variant of Michael; “he who is like God”

Mumiel: guardian of health

Muriel: an angel of the Order of Dominions

Nakir: black-skinned and blue-eyed angel of judgment

Nathaniel: “given by God”; and angel of fire

Nephilim: half-angelic giants; “men of renown”

Nuriel: angel of hailstorms

Onafiel: angel of the moon

Ophaniel: chief of the Order of Thrones; a serpentine angel

Ophanim: “wheels”; “many-eyed ones”; the Order of Thrones; may also refer to serpents

Oriel: angel of destiny

Oriphiel: an angel of Saturn

Pahadron: an angel of terror

Peliel: a chief of the choir of Virtues

Penemu: taught writing; from the Book of Enoch

Peniel: “I have seen God”

Phanuel: angel of the presence; angel of penance

Purah: angel of oblivion

Puriel: an exacting judge

Qaddisin: “holy ones”; stand with the Grigori, or Watchers

Qaphsiel: repels ones enemies

Rabdos: keeper of stars

Raduriel: heavenly archivist; from the Book of Enoch

Raguel: “friend of God”

Rahab: violent angel of the sea; supposedly destroyed by an angry God as punishment for some wrongdoing

Rahatiel: governor of the constellations; from the Book of Enoch

Rahmiel: angel of mercy

Ramiel: “mercy of God”; angel of thunder

Raphael: “God has healed”; angel of the sun; an archangel who appears by name in the Bible

Rasiel: angel of earthquakes; from the Book of Enoch

Razael: angel of mysteries; purpotedly gave a book of magic to Adam and was punished by God for this presumption

Remiel: interpreter of visions; from the Book of Enoch

Rikbiel: guardian of the chariot of God; from the Book of Enoch

Ruhiel: angel of the winds

Sabaoth: prayed to as an angel in the Middle Ages; from the Hebrew word for the Heavenly Host

Sahaqiel: guardian of the Fourth Heaven; from the Book of Enoch

Salathiel: “I have asked the Lord”

Samael: thought to mean “Poison of God”; fearsome angel of death; sometimes associated with Satan and / or Lucifer

Sandalphon: “brother”; angel of glory and prayer; Greek

Saraquiel: variant of Araqiel; taught forbidden knowledge; from the Book of Enoch

Sariel: “prince of God”; governs spirits; from the Book of Enoch

Semalion: an angel of proclamation

Semsapiel: an angel mentioned in the Book of Enoch

Semyaza: leader of the angels who walked out of Heaven to marry among the daughters of man; sometimes associated with Lucifer and / or Satan

Seraph: living flame; holiest of angels; name may mean “fiery serpent”

Seraphiel: eagle-like chief of the Seraphim

Shamsiel: “light of God”; from the Book of Enoch

Sidriel: a prince of Virtues; from the Book of Enoch

Sopheriel: keeps the books of life and death

Soterasiel: “he who stirs the fire of God”

Tabris: angel of free will

Tadhiel: angel of sacrifice

Tagas: a prince of heaven; mentioned in the Book of Enoch

Tamiel: an angel mentioned in the Book of Enoch

Tarshishim: “the shining ones”; and order of angels

Tatrasiel: a prince of heaven mentioned in the Book of Enoch

Temlakos: patron of abused children; Greek

Turiel: angel mentioned in the Book of Enoch

Uriel: “flame of God”; sometimes a healing angel, sometimes the angel of death

Usiel: “the Lord is strength”; from the Book of Enoch

Vretiel: angel of wisdom; from the Book of Enoch

Yahoel: guide and guardian; a seraph

Zadkiel: angel whose symbol is a dagger; from the Book of Enoch

Zagzagel: angel of the burning bush

Zakum: an angel of prayer

Zambrim: ruler of fallen angels invoked in ceremonial magic

Zaphkiel: the swiftest of the cherubim; Miltonian

Zarall: a guardian of the Ark of the Covenant

Zephon: messenger of Gabriel; from Milton’s Paradise Lost

Zophiel: “the beauty of God”

Zuriel: “the Lord is my rock”

Gargoyles and Grotesques
18:42 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,901






Many items functioned on the notion of chasing spirits away by scaring them. For some reason, living people, who find spirits frightening and often depict them as malformed and hideous, seem to think that making things with hideous faces on them will in turn frighten away these unwanted spirits. Tribal masks from the Innuits to the various African peoples demonstrate this notion very nicely, with their distended faces, enlarged mouths, and protuberant eyes. Similar masks used to frighten away evil spirits can also be found among a number of primitive Asian cultures, with quite a few of these recently finding a receptive market here in the West as decorative pieces.



The jack o’ lantern, such a common sight in the United States around Halloween, also functions on this principle. Originally used in Ireland (and made out of a potato or turnip before it was ever carved from a pumpkin), the jack o’lantern was placed outside of a family’s home with the hope that its hideous face, lit by a candle from within, would frighten the spirits away. The gargoyles and grotesques on old churches also served the same purpose, although I have heard it argued that they were actually intended to impress upon the living attendants of those churches just how ugly and frightening the spirits of evil could be.



I have found that a grotesque, be it a gargoyle or other mask, functions very nicely as a guardian over a doorway. You may coax a spirit to inhabit the item, or you may work an energetic construct into the item with the specific intent of using it as a guard. Either way, placing this object just over a door has the effect of scaring lesser entities away. Think of the item as a sort of keeper of the threshold, and remember to charge it with energy and intent fairly regularly to maintain its function.



Bells



Another spirit-chasing item that the old churches employed were bells. Like masks and grotesques, the use of bells to clear the air of negative energies and to scare spirits away crosses the boundaries of culture and time. In the Catholic Mass, for example, when the host is solemnly raised for the moment of transubstantiation, a small set of four bells is often rung by one of the altar boys. This ritualistic ringing is only partially meant to draw attention to the mystery unfolding within the priest’s hands. The high chiming tone of the bells, ringing throughout the silent church, was at one time also intended to chase off any unwanted spirits from the place. Furthermore, it was a common belief in the British Isles that the sounding of church bells would drive faeries away.

A lot of folk-beliefs are founded on some grain of truth, although in many cases that truth has become greatly distorted. For example, the ringing of church bells was believed to keep faeries away because it was a sanctified and holy sound. Since the fey weren’t part of the Christian belief system, the Medieval Church automatically identified them as “evil” spirits, in league with Satan. Therefore, anything that was holy or blessed by the Church was believed to repel the fey.



In Eastern countries where bells were employed to ward off spirits, the effectiveness had little to do with what god was in charge and more to do with the actual tone of the bells. The vibrations of the bells were thought to clear negative energies and to disrupt the energy of spirits. From many personal experiences, I am inclined to agree that it is the sound of the bells – very specifically their vibration and resonance — which has the greatest impact on clearing energies and chasing spirits away. To clear energy, a resonant, deep-throated bell seems to work best, while for most spirits, bells with high frequencies or a slightly dissonant tone seem to irritate them and drive them away.



Drums



Drums, cymbals, and other percussion instruments are also thought to work along the same lines as bells. Typically, the loud and dissonant playing of percussion and other instruments is used to chase spirits from an area. By this reasoning, the claims of some conservative Christians that heavy metal music is used to summon demons might be completely off base. Instead, such ear-splitting tunes blasted at loud decibels is much more likely to disrupt spiritual energies and send entities packing.



Rhythmic drumming is used by shamans to aid them in achieving an altered state for working with spirits and with the dead, so be certain not to get confused. Generally, for the effect of chasing spirits away, the sounds you make on drums and other percussion instruments should be disruptive and unpleasant. As with many other spirit-chasers, this functions on the logic that if it makes your mother-in-law want to flee from the room, it will likely chase away any other nasty entity that’s out there.



Tibetan Ritual Tools



The Tibetans, who had a highly evolved spiritual “science” before the Chinese invaded and drove them out of their land, had developed a number of tools for driving off unwanted spirits. The phurba, a three-edged ritual blade popularized by the late nineties movie “The Shadow”, was used when dealing with spirits. The three edges of the blade are supposed to cut on the physical side, the spiritual side, and the spaces between. Similarly, the three faces of the traditional phurba, their countenances distorted in demonic fury, are supposed to scare spirits away, once again hitting every possible angle between spirit and solid realities.



The phurba is also used to “nail down” spirits so they may be dealt with in other ways. This can be helpful when binding spirits so they do not get away, and it can be helpful when performing a more involved attack intended to weaken a spirit to the point that it will be rendered incapable of doing harm for a very long while.



In addition to the phurba, another ritual blade, known as the dargu, is intended to cut spiritual attachments. This is the sacred blade of the dakinis, the feminine embodiments of the peaceful and wrathful deities. While the dargu is intended to sever the attachments a soul may have for things in this life, I have found that this blade works nicely for severing the links that some entities will forge to attach themselves to people in the here and now.



Another Tibetan tool, the dorje, is a symbolic representation of a lightning bolt. This item, often used in conjunction with a bell, amplifies the energy of the person holding it and can be used to great effect in clearing the energy of a room. Two dorjes forged together make a kind of four-spoked wheel and while this item can be cumbersome to hold, it is a very potent tool for amplifying and spreading out the wielder’s energy. Thus, a double-dorje, when energy is focused through it, can be used to clear out the stagnant and blocked energy over a wide area in a ritual space or other room.



Dream-catchers



A very popular Native American device, the dream-catcher, has gained widespread usage in recent years. Originally woven of sinew within a circle of wood or vines, the dream-catcher is symbolic of a spider web. Typically, there is a small, polished stone suspended from the web at some point within its design. This stone is said to represent Grandmother Spider, a Native American goddess of wisdom who watchers over any who use her dream-catchers.



The purpose of a dream-catcher is to capture nightmares while allowing good dreams to pass through the spaces between the web. Dream-catchers are traditionally placed on the walls just over the head of the bed, where they are supposed to encourage restful sleep. In recent times, dream-catchers are employed to capture any manner of negative energies, while presumably allowing more positive forces to pass through the web.



Fumigation



Just as the nasty-looking faces of gargoyles and grotesques were thought to drive spirits away, so, too, were nasty-smelling substances thought to repel visitors from the otherside. This is where we get the tradition that garlic can keep vampires away. Garlic has a strong and very pungent odor, and if one is wearing a string of garlic around their neck, it is likely to keep not only vampires, but also friends, family members, and perfect strangers at a safe distance.



Moving beyond garlic, there are a number of incenses that were traditionally burned to dispel spirits and drive them from a place. The ancient practice of fumigation, that is, filling a room up with a thick cloud of pungent smoke, was used to dispel negative energies as well as physical pests and vermin from a home. Fumitory is one incense that was traditionally used for this, as was the herb asafoetida. The word “fetid” is part of the root for “asafoetida” and this is very apt, for the herb has an exceptionally strong and amazingly unpleasant odor. Although it is employed in some forms of Indian cooking, asafoetida, in my book, is best reserved for exorcism, and even then, it should only be employed when a situation calls for the “big guns”.



Other incenses often used to purge energies and to exorcise spirits include frankincense, dragon’s blood, and myrrh. All of these have a more pleasant odor, and will probably not have the effect of driving you from the room along with the spirits.



Fire



Nearly every religion and spiritual tradition recognizes the purifying qualities of fire. Returning to Medieval days, peasants would erect huge bonfires, called “need-fires” in times of calamity, especially during outbreaks of plague. The fire was allowed to blaze up, and when it had burned down a little, sheep and cattle were driven through the smoldering coals. This was thought to burn away any harmful magicks or negative forces that were causing the plague.



In a ritual setting, fire can be used to dispel unwanted forces from a person or from a place. If the name or sigil of a spirit is known (especially if it is something you have called up yourself), this spirit can be dispelled by inscribing this on a piece of paper and committing it to the flames. As the name or sigil is burned to ash, the spirit is banished.

SPIRIT-CHASERS: DISPELLING UNWANTED ENTITIES OCTOBER 30, 2014 MICHELLE BELANGER
18:41 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,902




Every culture the world over has had traditional tools and objects intended to protect the living from unwanted the spirits. You might think that the dead, once they were finished with their lives, would move on and not bother with the living. However, especially among less modernized cultures, the dead were perceived as being very jealous of the living. Thus, on nights when the wall between the worlds grew thin, such as Samhain, it was believed that the dead would return to their living relatives and attempt to feed on their vitality or to steal them away altogether in order to join them on the otherside. When there was no immediate family for the dead to prey upon, it was believed that any living person would do.



In addition to the dead, there were all manner of other spirits and entities active on the otherside. As an old Scottish prayer specifies: “From ghosties and ghoulies and long-leggedy beasties, and things that go bump in the night – good Lord deliver us!” All of these were thought to hover, just beyond our ordinary reality, waiting for a chance to attack, play tricks on, or otherwise annoy human beings. For these reasons, cultures around the world developed many techniques and tools for driving unwanted spirits away.

Higher Self and Spirit Guides
18:39 Feb 18 2016
Times Read: 1,903






Souls that have chosen not to incarnate can serve as spirit guides and guardians for those they’ve taken an interest in. They are also the ancestor spirits revered in many non-Western cultures. They may alternate between people, paying attention to one incarnated person for a time, then moving onto someone else they have an old connection with. They may simply remain on the Otherside in order to see someone progress through a specific period of their life, such as childhood or adolescence, or a particularly traumatic time.



Souls on the Otherside may hang around people for less than benevolent reasons as well, though this seems more rare. If the karmic connection is a darker one, where the incarnated person perhaps caused the soul’s death at some point in their history together, the soul may take an interest in making that person pay for this crime, even if, in the current incarnation, they have no recollection of it.



Most New Agers believe that the stronger connection to the Higher Self enjoyed by the disincarnate soul prevents such pettiness, but this is simply not the case. The Higher Self is not omniscient nor all-good. It is simply the core of a person, the most basic, and eternal part of who they are. This portion of the Self remembers all the lifetimes, and to a certain extent it chooses incarnations in order to learn certain lessons and to forward certain goals. However, it is not always altruistic, and it is not always enlightened in its choices. In many ways, it is simply a bigger version of the selves if incarnates in.



Keep in mind: if it were a perfected being, then the Higher Self would have no reason to direct incarnations in the first place. We come to the flesh for learning and for experience, and if we keep coming back, we are acknowledging that there is more left to learn.