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Blessedly alone tonight. I am by nature a very solitary person. I value my space a great deal, and though I am quite capable of functioning very well with other people, I still love when I have the evening to myself to just loose myself in a good book or do some writing.



Being alone is not always a bad thing. It does not always mean loneliness, it does not always mean that you are without company. Sometimes one's thoughts are company enough by themselves. Now mind you, I'm not talking...the little voices kinda company, LOL....what I mean is that sometimes (at least for me) one can get completely lost in thought, and in that be very content for a time.



I do most of my thinking when I am by myself. After my children are in bed, dreaming peacefully, and the house dims down... the everyday sounds of children playing, the radio, laughter and household noises like the dishwasher and the dryer begin to fade. It becomes quiet, and in my mind, so very peaceful.



I adore hiding in the woods, I value my time away from the house when I'm finally allowed some time with Mother Earth, but there is no place like home. Like home when its quiet, and the smells are familiar and comforting. When its dim in the bedroom, just the moons light to come peeking through the blinds....these are the times I am most comfortable.



When I lie down at night, comfortable in my own bed, in my own house. Safe and alone...I do my deepest thinking. I lay in silence, lost in thought and relish just being still. I reflect on my day, any mistakes that I made and how best to avoid them next time. I reflect on myself, and think about who Ive become, and from where I came.





So being alone for me....is sometimes a blessing. Sometimes its my sanity. Sometimes its my only comfort.

Submission to me...is Love.

It is undying trust.

It is commitment and the desire to be guided.



It is trusting someone enough to know that they will lead you in the direction that is best for you. Allowing someone to mold and shape your wishes and desires according to his/her own.



Submission is gifting another with your Heart..so that they may always know your love for them, Your Soul..so they always have a haven from the harshness of the world and Your Mind..so that they are never alone. It is a gift of true adoration and Love.



Submission to me is a journey of self exploration that is embarked on with someone that you trust to lead you.





I have chosen to embark on this journey with my adored Master. I hope to learn the ways to please him most. Serve him and his wife to the best of my ability and become a sister to his other chosen.

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SkieShauphen
07:47 Nov 15 2009

Reminds me of a certain someone I know....

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I had a very interesting conversation today, a conversation that ended up in a very heated debate. About The death penalty, and if it is "right" or not. Id like to share my side of it with you.



Up until March of this year, there were 37 of the united 50 states that supported the death penalty. New Mexico has since placed a non retrospective repeal, in March of 2009. The first of the United states to withdraw this form of lawful punishment was Michigan in 1846, Maine followed suit in 1887 and there was not another withdraw until the early nineteen hundreds.



Why is this do you think? For what purpose is the taking of a life, to avenge a crime? Is it right? Do you agree with it?



I believe the actual act of taking a life in exchange for a heinous crime is fairly self explanatory...An eye for an eye.



However. I also believe it to be wrong. I cannot morally support the death penalty. Now, that being said the friend with which I had the debate immediately had one question/statement. How would you know if you could support it, you are not one of the ones that has suffered at the hands of one of these heinous individuals.



That is where he was wrong. Nearly seven years ago, I was physically raped by a man that had apparently (and unbeknown to me) also brutally raped nine other women prior to myself. I was beaten, raped, humiliated, physically and mentally scarred. My life was changed forever, and to this day, he still has something that belongs to me...something I can never get back. Some piece of myself that I lost that day, due to a choice I didn't make.



I have not suffered a death, and there are by far much worse things that a person could have to endure, but speaking as one of the persons it happened to....it was more than enough to deal with for me, and something I will never quiet heal from.



With all of that, I still do not wish him death. If I were told tomorrow that he could be put on death row, I can honestly say that I would not take part in putting him there. As much as I hate him, as passionate as my disgust is for him...I can not wish him death, because it is not my choice to make.



Who are W/we to decide who lives...and who dies? As the old saying goes, "We each owe God a death" But who in this world can honestly cast the first stone, who in this world is without mistake or crime? No one that I personally have met. So then who among us can pass that sentence? To take a life. To end the existence of a human being. Even one who's by their own hand ended others existence.



I believe that in the end, we will all face judgment for our crimes. We as a population will all face a creator that will ask us, why we made the choices that we did. And even if we dont, I have another question....How do you decide what men or women are given the right to take lives? By who went to law school and got the highest GPA? By who had to roll out of bed that morning and don a black robe, to show up and hear about something they didn't themselves witness? That hardly seems ceremonial enough, or particular enough for such a decision. It hardly seems like a great way to deem who has the right to weild the power over life and limb. Who has the right to play God.



Now, do not get me wrong. I am completely and totally game for lifetime incarceration without possibility of parole. If it keeps and removes awful people from society then, my tax money is readily available. If it removes rapists and child mollestors, killers and those of us in the world that torture out of the places that my children play...then by all means lock them up and throw away the key.



But again, these are just my opinions. My pondering, and personal thoughts. I hope at the very least, its given you something to think about. Maybe a conversation to have with someone you know.

Where in the world to begin. I think I will start with saying that Ive been doing quite a bit of thinking about judgment. Judgment against others, against yourself. Against other peoples actions, their beliefs, rights, reasons.....Just judgment in general. So here...I would like to share my thoughts.



To begin, I would like to say that one of the things that I try for the most in this life, is to be non-judgmental. I do not like to be judged, I cant stand it when someone that dosent know Me as a person, passes their own private judgment on me. No one stranger right off the street can say, " I know you. I know WHO you are." Not in the definition of "who" as in the ideal knowledge of ones self that we all seem to so intensely seek for in this life. So why would I do it to someone else?



Now this is not to falsely say that I am without the act of judging....it is only to state that I TRY my very hardest not to. I believe that it is in fact human nature to be judgmental.



I would like to believe, that I put in a great effort...Not to judge. Can you honestly say the same? Have you ever really thought about it? About what other people think in their minds about you? The opinions they form based on minimal information they've gathered maybe by just your looks or a specific feature alone? When was the last time you did that to someone?



Maybe you saw someone walking up the street, with saggy pants and your typical "thuggish" look....what did you think? Did you assume they might be gang related? Or here....maybe you saw someone in the super market, a man with his lover, also a man....they were holding hands as they stood together chatting quietly in the check out line. Ive observed people in both of above situations, and the people that I was watching really pissed me off.



The first was a young man, somewhere in the vicinity of his late teens to early twenties, walking down the street in the neighborhood in which I live. I only by chance happened to overhear my neighbor discussing his appearance in hushed tones with one of her friends. From what I caught, the first thing in her thoughts and I quote was " omg, do you see his pants? What a little thug. I bet he's the one thats been breaking into all the cars the newsletter was talking about"



How absolutely IGNORANT can one person possibly be. If more people like her were granted the right to be an actual judge...We'd all be fucked. She absolutely and without thought placed a crime over this mans head, based on WHAT HE WAS WEARING. MY GODS....



The second was in a local department store...I was standing in the check out line, behind a young male couple. Obviously in love, they were holding hands and chatting quietly to themselves about some story or other on a Star magazine. I was watching them quietly, smiling because they were so obviously happy, when I overheard ( i swear i have ears like a damned hawk) another couple talking behind me. This one was your A-typical American man and woman couple. The man was very indescretely snickering behind my back, about the "faggots" ahead of them as the woman was cracking tactless jokes like "i wonder who's the pitcher and who's the catcher?". I was in absolute disgust.



The first question that comes to mind is...Are they bothering anyone? No, they were not. The second question that comes to mind is, wtf is wrong with people? To that answer...i have no idea.



When i saw that guy walking down the street, i thought nothing of it and really barely noticed until it was brought to my attention by the two hens next door. When I saw the couple standing infront of me in the checkout line...the only thing i was thinking about them, was how lovely it was to see two people so happy.



I really and truly do NOT understand the common mentality that people seem to be suffering from. That people have been suffering from, since we were put on this Earth. People say that these are more accepting times, but I say thats a bullshit lie. The judgment is only better hidden. The hate is still there. Eating away at peoples lives. Only now, its masked as religious views..LOL.



The point that I am trying to make, I suppose is this... Take the time, to get to know someone before you make the call on who you think they are. Understand that the choices that people make in this life, are usually based on the path that they've been treading on. And until you've worn the shoes they themselves have walked in....Judge not, lest you be the one judged.

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SkieShauphen
07:50 Nov 15 2009

Ahh, judgment. The strongest law of man. The larger question in fact is to ask that man's law is truly holy law. Who are we to decided what is and what isn't just? Shouldn't that be decided by the higher powers? As mortals we see not the greater picture but a smaller picture to which suits us better individually. For this is the way we were created....and on that note wouldn't we have been created justly?

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Polyamory: Meaning more than one or several loves. It is the desire, practice or belief that it is OK to have more than one love, or meaningful intimate relationship at a time with the complete knowledge and consent of all parties involved.



I have recently admitted to myself, and a few others that I am Polyamorous. I tried every which way from Sunday to justify my attraction to more than one person at a time. That I wasn't happy, or all of my needs weren't being met....but in the end, I realized that it wasn't them...it was me.



I have finally realized why. I am Poly. I have never been happy nor will I ever be in a mono relationship. I have too much love for that. My best friend and I have spent hours upon hours discussing what it is like to be poly, and she has been a great in helping me to come to terms with this aspect of my life. We have discussed everything from buying property and starting up a community of solely Poly families, to buying a house together and having Poly family meetings.



Unfortunately, the Vanilla World.. Looks very poorly on Polyamory. As it does SO many other alternative lifestyles. We are criticized for our beliefs and our way of life by people who whole heatedly believe that it is only possible to love ONE singular person. What a narrow minded approach on life and love. I'm not sure about you...but my heart and soul is capable of so much more love than that.



You can love people in so many different ways. Who gets to say that you are only allowed to love this way, in this fashion with that person?

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OniKumo
12:39 Nov 11 2009

So true My little one. And I am happy that I and My Wife get to knoe your love and to share Ours with you.

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SkieShauphen
07:51 Nov 15 2009

I've known polyamory to fail time and time again. Humans are a jealous and greedy creature. We want possessions as solely ours and ours alone. Sharing is something we strive long and hard for. It's simply not in our nature.

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MistressNicoletta
08:13 Nov 15 2009

To a degree I agree with you Skie. There are those of U/us that can be greedy with our posessions and love.



However, that being said...That is not what polyamory is. Polyamory is about believing that to be devoid of truth. It is about proving that ideal wrong if you will. Polyamory is the ability to love and give of yourself freely. Those of U/us that are truely capable of the REAL definition of Polyamory, are neither greedy, posessive.

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SkieShauphen
08:18 Nov 15 2009

Haha, great show. I can agree with you there deary. I, personally, am a very possessive and greedy person. Tis not for me I should say.

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