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Jeeze! i have'nt written in sooooo long!!!!

this is INSANE IN THE BRAIN!!!



not only the fact that i haven't written in a while but like the fact that the world in GENERAL has been crazy insane!!! sometimes i think its just not fair....then i gotta like...i dunno...slap myself and remind myself that the



the world isn't FAIR....

and then i just gotta shake my head...(kinda in disbelief but mostly in despair)....



Anyways...ssssooooo... updates!



i am DROWNING in work...like its not even FUNNY how much i have to do!!

I'm a little bummed...i still don't have me special person... i mean don't IIII deserve a special person????

like someone who isn't so frigin flaky that the wind could blow them away!!!!....not really...but do you get what i mean?



i want....actually I'm starting to NEED someone there. Just to be there for me.... i know I've got some awesomely amazing friends! but that doesn't cut it! friends aren't ENOUGH! and the few that might pass....are like in different states!

and as much as I'd like to drop everything get on a plane and fly out to them. to get u genuine caring hug...i can't!!!



ONE i can't just drop every thing. not at this point in time

and TWO i am not financially capable at this point in time.



this really sucks!!! i have no idea what to do!!!

i broke down in tears this morning...its a combo of my stressful week and me looking for the person, a person....



i just...please help....

ok...so...i like how i'm always at work when i write these...except for that really really short one i did really really late....

most of these are written at my job...an i get interrupted like ONE HUNDRED TIMES!!!! lolz!

...wow...i can't believe i just said that (out loud too)



annnywaaaays!!! so like i said work tired....and my co worker is acting weird....



so like i've never really written this but i really wanna do...things....like not so good things...like umm sex oriented things....it's so terrible!!! this desire!!! and the fact that i have to use self control!



dam society rules!!!!!



arrg!

speaking of resisting desires! and using my self control....it's a terrible feeling when i don't get what i want! (...yes this is still about my co-worker.....) it's terrible! and i get frustrated....

cuz i wasn't...i really do want....



and she just read it and is being completely dumb!

dumber than dumb! she is talking about me sleeping with my boss and that is uncool....and i actually want....her...which is why she is being dumber than dumb....



so yea life sucks!



gosh...this is so hard....