The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

let start first with the "going to see the scholarship"....i have no idea what that was about!

l went to see the SCHOOL not the SCHOLARSHIP!!!



anyways!!!



so CLEARLY i'm back!!!!

yay!!! "i wasn't eaten by ZOMBIE MUTANT NINGA ZEBRAS!!!!!" YAAAAAY FOR MEEEEEE!!!!!!

anywaysg! moving away from the hyper point. I just finished watching invader zim volume2 disc 1. It was awesome!!! i luuuuuuv gir!!!!



anyways! i'm really really tired so i'm posting this and going to sleep...



nite!

***ok...let's start off with the fact that i can't spell!!!

so mayhem is PROBABLY spelled wrong***



so that (^) was the news update of the day!!!!!



In other words! I am visiting Oberlin College tomorrow and i am just now starting on my art and writing portfolio!! I am very very excited about going to see the scholarship! and me making a good impression!!!



i normally DON'T wear WHITE buuuuut i think I'm going to wear a WHITE BUTTON DOWN!!!...(or is it said ^button up^???? ...not quite sure----and now that i think about it~its not that important!)



moooving on!



cheer for me!! i really want to go to Oberlin! I just hope i have something to offer them!.....

well rather i hope i can SHOW them i have something to offer them! ~(^_^)~ (< he's waving his arms/I'm waving my arms)



more fun news to talk about



my mother is writing her dissertation and is COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT!!!



**hence the "mass mayhem" headline**

...**among other reasons**

but YES this is the case! she is turning her draft in soon...but her computer is trying to malfunction!

so is really frustrated! i kind of just want this to be over. i want her done so things will be calm again....



wait.....

wait....

that statement it NOT TRUE!

if she's not writing then she'll be focused on me and messing with me...and my life will be worse!

more difficult! more structured! and less internet time! ^rrrrrrrrrrr^

i want her to stay busy but i DON'T WANT her air of worry to get to me....!



^gurrgle!^ i don't know what to do! and on top of her work she's being a total foot face!

seriously! i had ride to the library (which is REALLY REALLY FAR....and UP A HILL!!!) yesterday! and today shes like....can you get me movies?

"be a doll thanx!"

^grrrrrrrrrrrrr^



....well she didn't say "be a doll thanx" but gosh is she terrible??? or is she terrible!!!!





aaaaannyways!! today is a busy busy day for me!

gotta get to it!



bye now!

i haven't written in so long!

this is just soooo disgraceful!

i have like a MAJOR overflow...of

like......

thought and imagination and shy....stuff....

like that...



also. so much has happened....

i recently like...realized...that I'm attractive!

i mean like. no one ever like...well....no one really liked me--or looked at me...like THAT so

i mean i KNEW....but in a way i DIDN'T know....



also it seems to me that i am becoming almost like...well...a light!

which is surprising! that others can see that THING that most couldn't see for the longest time, ppl can

see it now.....



but other than the light....

i have a lot of energy to deal with.

both my own and others



my boss' wife is dying

my boss is really really sad

two of my co workers are going out with each other

one is mega-ly feeding off the other

i need to separate and ground them

so that's gonna be a pain....

also i need to energy clean my store too



ah! this is going to be soooo taxing!

but i think i'll be ok...

this really is a necessity!

i feel like every one around me is slowly being drained of all their life force

(and i know it's not my fault[unless i'm worse off than i thought])



so yea that's a few of the things going on with

i gonna go to sleep now.

i'm really tired.

it's really late and i SHOULD be SLEEP!!!!



gosh!

i'm teribble!!!

lol



nite nite!

COMMENTS

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bittenfreak666
19:52 Aug 18 2009

I know the feeling and understand you very much

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POST COMMENT

i feel like shit!

i want to cry a lot!

ppl keep asking me whats wrong and i say nothing

and they let me walk away

ppl are blind they just are....they are blind!



i hurt!

i'm hurting!

it's hurting!

make it stop!

please!!



...help....me

its really humid! this sucks!



i just sold my first nitro car! I'm s happy! but my boss it too.....i dunnoo to enjoy it with me..... and even with out him i have no one to enjoy it with.....this is so pathetic!



any way i hung out last night with one of my co workers it was fun...it was hard but i did enjoy it....

See i like this person. but this person is going out with some one else (of course) and to top it all off i like the person they are going out with (of course!!!!)....so yea... I went to the park with this person. and i enjoyed my self but it hurt!



a lot.... not hurt like i cut my self, but hurt..like it hurt my soul and heart and stuff like that.... i was soooo close to what i wanted but it was out of my grasp!.....it was so terribly hard.....i just...i just....wanted...but i didn't i maintained control...and as many times as i wanted to cry (because i do cry and I'm willing to admit that i cry) i didn't...not a single tear! But it was sooo hard!!!



i just....i dunnooo...it hurt a lot....so right now i'm just trying to feel better....



Lily

So today is not a day to write a large amount about whats going on and my feelings...and snuffle like that

.....



it is TOO FRIGIN HUMID!!! for that to happen successfully and coherently!



So today's update....too humid. A day when humans shouldn't be alive (or at least awake)



back to the headline.... Why can't we hibernate like bears...on these completely unbearable days?





please tell me!!!!!

so i was surfing the internet.....particularly the bumper stickers on myspace....yes i have no life....

and i came a across a sticker that said:



the right way to kiss a girl

-push her up against the wall

-grasp her waist tightly

-and kiss her like you mean it



*sigh* i completely agree. And what sucks worst about this is that most guys don't know that. I have yet to...meet a guy...or girl for that matter....that does that..... and it really sucks....its sad...



BUT!!! on a happier note!!! The crazy cat...that was living with me (and THREW UP ON MY FLOOR!!!!) will be gone soon!!! Yay!!!!!

sing with me



^ding dong the cat is leaving, the cat is leaving, the cat is leaving the cat is leaving.

^I'll finally have some peace and quite the cat is leaving the cat is leaving!^ (I've been sing that for about an hour )



so i like theater-y things (we are switching topics again) and last night i was a spot operator in RENT. a local theater put it on. But it was a double show!!! I was sooooo tired after it was over..... actually....I'm really embarrassed to admit....that like half way through the second show (that night) i zoned out a couple of times and would come back to find the character that i was supposed to be following on the other side of the stage......arrrrg! it was soooo terrible!!! But i was SOOOOO tired!!!! Usually I'm good with the tired and working through it thing...but....last night was the first night in like a month that i had to do that... it was rough!



but yea...that's also why i wasn't on yesterday....because i was doing that the entirte night! Instead of my other job! But i DO love theater so!



....



hmmmm...any ways!!! yea.... clearly I'm not quite sure how to end... so I'll just like stop. Night!

it was recently bought to my attention by a very swell person that i've done a generalization on the "people are...people are...*sigh* "



not every one is like that. And when i wrote it i didn't mean that everyone is like that....and to those people that aren't :

1. i apologize

2. thank you!

3. i wish more people were like you!



i suppose when i was writting it was just so caught up in what i was feeling i didn't even notice how ii was stating it. So to those i hurt. I'm sorry.

So this is all very new to me...and i'm having a difficult time typing because there is so much i want to say! things have been going on changing. first off a crazy cat has been uncerimoniously dumped on me and he THREW UP ON MY CARPET THIS MORNING!!!!



thats a nice way to wake up!!!! Any way. i just am starting to see. to truly see who people are and what they are like. its like a rude awakening. a sad realistic awakening.... it sucks the way people are. The way they TRULY ARE.



I'm not sure if i should think about it. how cruel humans are. It makes me sad when i think about the times when they let themselves out of their boxes, and from behind their mask. It mask me SICK!!!



Some people are disgusting, they are gross and arg!

When i think on the future. of the coming day i worried. I don't want to. I really just want to be i love my life now. the calm the long days. The people i come in contact with. the silence. it's beautiful. to relax and consume the energy the joy the hope. i am very happy.



but i worry. worry about the change. i worry about the coming year. I worry about the end. Believe me i am happy about the end but i do worry. i am afraid. As much as it pains me to admit it i am very afraid. And it makes me sick. the fear. i hate to be afraid. i don't shake. but i make myself sick when i think of it--it being the fear the angst the worry. I rather just survive and be happy.



happy