On How to communicate and having decent relationships with women and men or same genders.23:44 Sep 08 2015
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The way we communicate at times is so wrong.
The Differentials and opinions:
Between men and women is also wrong most of the times due to lost of differentials and opinions, Of why we argue, why we distinguish two genders its not cause of the genders itself the problem but of the way we feel, we react and how we think and act on it.
About Women:
Women are prideful creatures with the rights to be treated fairly and as equal to men. Women can do things that men can and other women can’t. But that does not mean that the women that can’t do things as men can are fragile and obsolete and incapacitated or lower grade. It happens that these women who can’t do same things men does, is capable to do other things that not all men can do. Not all men knows how to clean, or cook or sew or knit. If a woman does not have the physical strength, we are sure that she got wits and wise. Men can’t bear children, can’t bear the pain or menstrual cycle. Women can take much more pain then men can in certain ways, cause their body is meant to have that strength.
If women are prideful can they still change the outcome from tragic events into successful healing and help others?:
They also go through men’s abuse. physical and sexual, also emotional that can cause mental too. Too much pride in woman can cause her strength but also self destruction?? Not always. There are ways that a woman full of pride can save herself from suicide and instead start help those who might suffer in the future or going through it now, also the aftermath. It is not easy for a woman that was born with strong pride not to resolve to suicide after being sexually abused or physically abused but if she learns that the only way to truly survive is going to the mirror and say I was raped or beaten, everyday but not to make herself a victim. Victims are the ones who do not stand up or suicide taken down by depression of being unable to protect herself which sometimes its inevitable, or die during the rape if the rapist decide to kill her in order not to leave any witness, unless he or she (sometimes women can be rapist too on other woman) leave a trace of DNA which is stupid indeed but good in a way to find justice and not over happening. Women can be fragile unless they decide to heal themselves and become stronger. They first have to admit the abuse and being beaten and defeated in that or those battles but not broken. Not yet. Bent yes but not broken. Then the therapy which not all can take small periods, some take longer. Then they become stronger than the man or abusers themselves.
How much trouble a woman can cause with her attitudes and her way of attracting attention by being Attention whore or Attention starving to fit in?:
They already gotten it and now ready to take on the world. Sometimes though certain women deserves to be treated that way. Many women have high vanity or likes attention, wearing certain make up and certain clothes with certain attitude can not only get good attention but also unwanted ones too. If you are not careful in your attitudes, you had it coming. I see many teens wearing like naughty adults.
Virtual underwear posing its tempting too and you are only causing problems only to be accepted in to the world of society.
Attention is good if someone is bringing manners and respect, but not everyone care to have it
wearing short and revealing clothes can cause any wanted hands to touch
Being totally drunk and with no self control
Its not the first time I had seen young teens who flirts with older men or women, and asking for more than just a date. Sometimes it goes for sex. Some continues till they had fully intercourse and 50% ended up regretting it and other just don’t. Its having their first sexual experience with an adult, but those who regretted it, ends up a bit ashamed and with disgust cause it is not what they where expecting.
I also realized most of the teens like 14 to 19 of age do not like using condoms, and ending up pregnant and even if they used the pill, it is not 100% guaranteed that they are safe. Some condoms happens to be defective and you got pregnant. Others take the pill but forgot to take it in the right time or you forgot a day and got pregnant. Then panic, and lots of trouble. Some uses abortion and honestly speaking, to me I find it quite disgusted by girls who use that solution. If you did not want to get pregnant, you should have kept your legs close and your hormones in check. Otherwise you should have chosen Adoption or orphanage. As I said sometimes girls have troubles at their door, cause they do not behave as they supposed to be. But then I had seen parents very young who were always wild and free and acted recklessly and the ladies got pregnant and then became responsible parent. Like a new beginning. No drugs, no partying or if they do, once in a while. Its up to you how you choose the outcome of your mistake. Of course having a surprise baby is no mistake. The mistake was you had been reckless but the child is never a mistake.
Lets see it as a new page of your life. A chance to make it better hopefully.
Women abused and raped in their own household are they victims or they can come out of it, or become abusers themselves, or ignore the world? :
But then there are females who seen hell in their lives. Prostitution, drug abuse parents and anything toxic, sexual abuse, and from the husband or father or brother get physically assaulted one after another. Make them incapacitated for long time. If they depend on their lover or husband and love them blindly, that is one hard very hard work to persuade the woman to leave the husband/partner, and search for an asylum like a shelter to be protected from him or her. I am not saying its always a man abusing the woman. Sometimes the woman herself can go apeshit, and blood and bruises and screaming and crying can go on. You can lie to many people where you got those bruises and yet no one is stupid enough to buy your story, like fallen the stairs or a bike or hit the door. Mind you, it can be a real truth in those lines. Like she fell down the stairs, cause he pushed her or pulled her down or hit her so hard, she stumbled back and down she goes. Or slamming her against a door. The more alcoholic or drug abuser the partner is the worst it can go. Specially if the partner is going some kind of psychotic break or disassociate itself, either simply cause he or she enjoys finding it relief can abuse their partner into nothing.
A woman got beaten up cause she forgot to buy something and he just lost it.
Showing a fist after a second or who knows how much she had gotten, is enough to scare her and putting more terror, These females either take it all in till they die and remain silent and cry silently, or come out fighting or simply become numb or just run away and change identity if they get lucky. Men say women are money grubbers, pretentious, bitches and sluts and hell knows how many nasty comments they get, But women took a lot in their existence and here speaking from the mind of a man who lived in a body of a woman for 29 years, I am not siding with women but simply speaking from what I had seen and experienced myself while many never knew I was a man and am a man but trapped in a wrong gender made me see more clear how much woman is capable to take. I see women remaining victims under severe abuse cause their abuser turned them into nothing or made them in to nothing. Cause trust me, These women are always someone. A somebody. But too afraid to leave. They got so dependent and so scared, they can’t seem to be able to move. Sometimes a woman gets double hit, one for her and more instead of the kids. Yes that is right. Most of the mothers gets hit to save their child, others abuse and take it on the child, others simply recoil and do not protect the child at all but put the head in the sand in order to protect themselves. Others simply for no reason at all, and not being abused by their partner or husband, for some sick reason sexually abuse their child.
There are many different stories for these women and yet hell knows which one to judge or not to judge. I can’t speak from a woman’s view as a parent. But from outside the box I can try.
You can’t see every women as nasty creatures. Sometimes they deserve some cruelty towards them for hurting your feelings and reduce you to nothing but beating them is not right and not raping them. Ignore their existence is even better. It happens though there are people who I happen to understand of why they use violence.
Psychopaths are not mentally ill people. Just people who happen to not being able to control their truest desires. Like hurting someone, manipulating and beating the bloody pulp and even killing. You can control it but not everyone can do that. They find it addictive and deepest needs cause it is in their characteristics and nothing can do to change it. You can choose who you can maim or abuse or hurt or rape or kill but not stopping it. In this case you have to be all careful, with who you end up with and not provoke on purpose or anger someone, cause there you had it coming and its all your fault.
How to treat a woman:
Females deserve respect and dignity, but if she happens to be one of those all pretentious, spoiled bitch, hurt her ego badly but then be ready for vengeance, cause women can be quite vindictive in cruelest way. They sure got attitudes. Make sure to maim her and leave her unarmed in her tongue or other tactics to make her recoil, instead of coming back at you, but no need to use physical violence. Physical violence brings evidence and you get fucked, then its your fault for being stupid and never loose your cool in front of a woman.
How to impress a woman and dating techniques and right advises:
Want to impress a woman? Be yourself but try not to be an asshole or too much of a desperate horny stag for fuck sake. You are just humiliating yourself even more with 80% of rejection and a laugh from your peers or gang. How uncool. Never get advise from playboys or those who failed but never learnt their lesson. But If you want, you can go to who failed and learnt the value of treating a woman as she deserve. And before you date her, get to know her well before please.
Every woman have a history. History of life, Student life and career life, friendship world life, parents,siblings, household life, if she was married or children life, etc…. There are so many books a woman can open to you if you learn to wait and get to know her well and her character, before you go for dating if you still like her. And she learns about you. It might change that crush, to positive or to nothing, just still friends. But no regrets, If you go on her and date her and still learn very few about her and you are quite picky in character and in her private looks when she wakes up etc….. or a secret skeleton that might shock you senseless, and make you dump her, there it is your fault and not hers. Its true you can’t choose who you fall in love with, but slowing down, that you can. You can also learn what does she likes, what annoys her, what angers her and see her levels of anger and reactions and actions in them, that helps you think how to deal with it, if she has mental illness that you can handle, or other illnesses, to see if you are ready to take care of her as well no matter what. It is a way to communicate better and grow up in much better way and both evolve together as remaining friends or going separate ways or becoming more then friends.
Now let’s speak about men.
Men like woman got million of insecurities, but not the narcissists ones. Well you can still break them down but I rather keep that secret to myself and try to figure it out yourselves.
Man and woman to me are just the same. Are a group of fruits but man are pineapples and bananas and females are cherries and apples.
But for some stupid reasons they want to separate themselves in their goddamn worlds. Woman’s world and men’s world. Bunch of bullshit to me. Men deserve some respect and dignity too. Like men can be feminine as refined and delicate as a cotton or flower as ladies can be masculine described as butch or simply tomboy. But in some way there is a world where it belong to men, like cars and sports and beer, TV, on how to date woman and take her to bed etc….. but to me as I said its bunch of bullshit cause these stuff ladies know how to do this just as much. And girl’s world where her period comes and goes and the pain, broken heart, and cheating and healing, cheer-leading or being a mean bitch girl of a group in school and treat every normal girl like shit and every normal boy like they mean nothing and saying shit and then, there is make up, dating hot guys, that are popular, with hot cars or motorbikes, and rich hopefully and with brain that is smart, showing some cleavage and competition in bra sizes and waist and bust, shoes and heels and make up and hair and clothes and shopping for being super up to date. That is indeed a boring but stressful women’s world.
But men do use make up, But that does not mean they are gays or fags (means the same but gay is more appropriate word) They use it as a mask or a shield or perhaps its part of who they are.
There are men who uses female stockings and shoes like heels and underwear and like putting girls clothes which are called transvestites or divas, but does not mean they are looking for sex change. They are just comfortable that way, but can’t do that in public. Some did and I admire them, but I do not blame others who can’t do that, or they will be ruined, like shunned from the world they created in order to fit in and not being lonely yet………..they are the loneliest cause no one seems to understand. And they care too much about it. Still I understand them. Out there, there are many mean fuckers and haters that are ready to devour you and spit you out.
There are men who like to amp themselves at the gym, either for appearance, others for body building career, others sports and hobby that is taken serious, others who are fitness freaks not in a bad way but it is also unhealthy to go all OBSESSIVE in being fit. On women can be caused bulimia and anorexia and on men these extra hard work and very strict diet.
Some men happen not to have emotions or feelings in whom they use or hurt but not all of them are like that. And mind you, you can find women too like that.
Man can be also workaholic like any other human can be as well as a female. Probably either their private lives is dull, or too stressful that they use work to escape, or loose their position, or simply love the job in a very unhealthy way that they do not have a life anymore and I won’t be surprised to find them married to the job or sleeping there as well as showering. This can happen on both genders.
Man in sexual times and romanticism.:
Man is passionate if you give him a reason to be about, can have their moments of romanticism, lusts, unless he is a hopeless horndog, or not so sexually active. I met men like that before and there is nothing wrong with that, They just have to meet the right partner in life that can understand that and will be patient and ready to meet him half way and be faithful to him anyways or it won’t work.
There are men also who are sexually greedy, who seeks more than one partner, or love rather than sex. Those who goes for just sex, ask for swingers relationship in this case I call it open relationship, The partner can choose either to remain his only or to seek others too. Sometimes it can be orgy or threesome like bisexual on both sides. or just gays.
Man that can cook and clean or not being able to cook and neither clean or simply knows how to clean but in culinary area is still not reaching:
Usually women brag a lot about cooking and cleaning techniques as the best creatures on earth. Which is bullshit to me. There are women who are great in that area, but men can be quite excellent themselves just as much in the same area of expertise.
As long as I lived, in restaurants and pubs, I enjoy getting to know all the stuff and specially in the kitchen. There were 10% of women in the kitchen and 90% of men. Women are more as waitresses and bar tenders and cleaners mostly. Men really can cook if they are willing to learn. And they can achieve beyond any limits. Women can do too, no worries. I am not being a sexist here.
As in Chinese and Asian foods women are frequent as men are.
Cleaning?? Both are capable if they are willing to learn and not be all lazy I seen women who can polish that there is no speck of dust, and men can just do that as much. Of course both clean different ways. Both sew and knit and cook different ways, yet spectacular results. You can’t diminish the talent of a man. Men are also excellent gynecologist, surgeons, teachers, scientists and hell knows, and great hair stylist too, make up and fashion designers, interior designers, writers about ladies worlds and also about romantic stories in females view man can do that too. Its called flexibility.
About men being abused:
They say its always a woman that is a victim. Right. But there are men too that are victims.
If there are women who keeps silent cause either they are full of pride to admit or strong to take it in or too scared to admit cause she thinks no one believes her or they will say what she fears most like ” He had the right to do that to you, ” ” Its all your fault, you deserve even worst. ” Or “Leave him.” then imagine a man being abused physically by his partner or wife or husband, Who would believe that? A woman is very well believed, and a good neighbor or populated area will defend her, if a man is attacking her or even pushing her or simply slapping her across the face, but a man??? By a woman? Either he will be ridiculed, laughed at, called names and more insults or ignored. By another same gender?? Don’t know. Depends how much is the scaling of violence will go up. If its hitting and getting hit with punches it might collect some eyes and see who will win or be a loser, but if it comes with any sort of weapons, well the law enforcement have to come in.
Sometimes the abused, or the attacked one cause he defended himself and harmed the lady or the other guy gets arrested instead, which I see the law quite pathetic and stupid. You will be stupid if you don’t carry something hidden small but you can use it fatally if it needed to and easy to sneak on, and then be attacked. I realized its breaking the fucking useless law. But the cops do not care much about the victims, They are filled with fat, arrogance and laziness or greediness to have a case and do not care if you are too tired, grieving, nearly dying and need to keep your energy for more minutes instead of loosing breath, or traumatized. So I do not blame a man or a girl to keep a weapon on them to defend themselves. So if a man is being abused, then attack back, whoever the gender is. If the gender confuses you and you had done nothing wrong to them for real, and they just went all schizzo on you or simply attacked you for cash or who knows what, then fight back and do not see the gender. See them as threat on your life and hit back. Hands, kicks, anything that comes to your hand and then run.
If by accident you killed your abuser, you might end up in jail cause unfortunately life is unfair, but you got rid of him or her. But to avoid that shit, see when the abuser is not at home, pack the most needed and fast and get out of there, out of town, and to a place that is least unexpected. New name and new life and new social security number and whatever it need to be done. If you stole an identity, its against the law but at least you saved yourself from jail time and from being anymore abused. Men are harder to be believed that are abused.
Space time for men is well needed as much as women needs hers:
Men needs time to breath. If they are in a relationships, they definitely needs their time. Either in their garage, hobbies, football or whatever makes them relaxed and happy mood when they come home to you or meet up with you. You got your thing, let him have his own. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Trust him or learn. If you were wrong in trusting him, then you should learn to see some different type of guys. There are many. The cheaters and the swingers, faithful and loyal to the fault, very quiet and well behaved man, or too wild yet respectful or playboy, or loners and addict to games or sports or love study and movie buff, so many qualities and quantities that yet there is to see. But they all need their thing and space and time of their own. You can’t suffocate them. They deserve to meet their friends as much as you need to meet yours. If both are jealous make sure you both meet each other half way and make compromises and promises that you can keep, If he did not kept his promise, see why and seek for evidence and if it does not match do a trial, if it does not pass I say ouch for both of you, but it will be better luck next time.
On men how to deal when their female lover or wife have miscarriage or loose a child:
When a woman loose the fetus(child) within her, 98% lose themselves and its very hard to grieve and to see their partner. Most of the partnerships break or bent to separate way or get cold and blame each other for the loss of the child. Born or unborn or while growing up. Its inevitable most of the times they get lost in themselves and build up walls around them and don’t see what happens around them at all, then, the women blames themselves like fathers does, and then they act to anger stage. They blame each other and grow cold and both need spaces but in the same time they need each other more than ever but its very hard to let go completely. Loosing a child is loosing a limb that is most important part of you. It makes you so sad yet so empty and vulnerable and you both have no idea how to act on it.
Everyone grief differently, mother and the father, and closing down the walls it might help you but your partner also lost the child and he/she needs you to be there and you need her/him as well. Males usually do not cry in front of a woman, over a grief, but that is my own knowledge, cause they might cry and I do not know. But usually the father is trying to be strong for his partner not because he is being insensitive. I am sure he is grieving, and if he is not, either he is void of emotion or has shut down cause the emotions were too overwhelming that could not deal with it. Some just run away, take drugs or alcohol or cheat, or hell knows. This loss changes people. Changes the couple. I am never going to say ” you will have more or another one. That is inappropriate. ” Take time and grief and mourn as much as you can. Know how to do it best as long as it helps you. If you want to try in the future that baby that you lost or the child that you lost, might be your next child like reincarnation or simply will look over the future child but if you do not want it is very understandable.”
How to impress a man?
There are many ways but then again depends what for. Sex or love? Sex I would not bother much if I were you. Just wear normal and decent, or it seems that you will be an easy girl, or perhaps Don’t bother impressing him at all. You are skinny? Coca cola bottle shaped body ( curves and fats and the goods all in right places), all flat, or chubby or simply Big and rounded? So what? Sex can be fantastic in all shapes and sizes as long as you both stop caring to look. Sometimes the character itself can be a turn on and not the physical. There is still the right chemistry to shake it and to bang it. Remember to go both happy and right just be yourselves and act yourselves and your own age, and not the size of your shoes and let the chemistry flow, and if nothing worked it is alright, nothing to despair. It happens. We will go for next one. Use always the condoms and if not for pregnancy at least that way you can both avoid sexual diseases or any infections at all.
As for love, just the same, stop trying so hard to impress. Be less bitchy, less impatient and be yourself. Someone will like you for your edges and curves and for your perfections and imperfections that you are trying so hard to hide. Not all men are shallow out there and I know that not all women are shallow. We sure met many shallow bastards and bitches. But lets not put all in the same box shall we? Men can be also nice and beautiful inside out, if we give them the chance. Does not mean that you can go all blind and silly with no reason at all for fuck sake, keep some composure on yourselves or I might have to slam right senses into your damn head. Some control it is well needed to keep your mind sharp and not be all naive and idiotic all at once.
That is all for today. Damn I sure said a lot of my self info and of what I had gathered in my years of expertise.
P:S: Ladies and gentlemen who are in a relationship, marriage or deep relationship and one of you is a bit frigid or old fashioned or very religious please find someone who is the same in sex and love or it really won’t work well. You can’t blame your partner for sexually cheating on you. If you can’t meet her or him halfway in sexuality, I am afraid that infidelity might as well happen. So please try to meet your partner halfway with trying hard together and if still not working it is better to find a person more of a common grounds in that area too.
thanks
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