The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Its been a long and lonely trip but its been worth it. When I was a child I always looked on life as pure and innocent. My street that i lived on was my heaven and my house was the only country i knew The innocent years where my best friend was my mind and I was always jealous of guys talking to my imaginary girlfriend. My biggest influence was non existent, was always looking on to better the future when all he really had to do was look under his nose and I was standing right there. Watching every night hearing the fights and yelling until one day instead of shivering and crying I was laughing and ignored it all, turned my mind numb and kept it that way even today. Learned to keep my distance because it was safer instead of exploring the world and all the fun things all the kids still talk about even today when they are married and smiling and I am still wondering where it all went wrong and when things will change for the better. I use negative actions to make excuses not to progress and not to try and succeed, I use acting as an escape from my world and able to live someone else life if only for a moment. Walking around day by day with my hands in my pockets, looking at the stars and thinking if there's another world where there's someone looking up at me. Life is always a mystery yet for some reason I pretend to know it all. I throw in the towel too early because its the definite and most safe destination. I never needed much people or maybe I just want a hug, I like the idea of being popular yet I am always in the shadows. Nothing seems real anymore and nothing seems fun. After a while I just want to feel something other than to feel numb. People stare and think I am upset when in reality I am just in deep thought. I have been told I am older beyond my years I suppose when you get hit with trauma right from the start. Life is to short to have grudges but I find one at every corner, I am over protective of others yet I walk in busy traffic. The older I get the more stories I have to pass to the next life, I just hope I grow up old enough to have some of my own. I don't know how to conclude this, I can continue on this road, when I stop and take a turn I hope that I am not alone. I'm outta here....

COMMENTS

-

---

TheUnknownObis
03:49 Apr 03 2012

I look at the first line of this and wonder what made it worth it? Waiting for something to come your way is like waiting at a train station sure there are plenty of things coming and going but you stand there with your hands in your pockets star gazing, and never see. They come for you if you would only take the ride. Caution becomes a crutch and stalls your progress. What are you waiting for? Stuck at the weigh station, afraid of what might happen if? What do you want in life? Do you want to be stuck forever in one spot, or barely there? Based on the words I read here, I think not. Take a ride, see what there is to see, exploring all the stops along the way.



~Ana

---

Starr2010
05:10 Apr 03 2012

Very deep and moving...

---

wazaboo
17:07 Apr 14 2012

... you don't have to be alone

---

Amber1997
03:12 Apr 20 2012

Loneliness sux

---

POST COMMENT