The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Trembling fingers holding on
I’ve been shivering, shivering for too long
The power of the bow is far too strong
And before I know it the arrow is gone
Deep deep deep
Into your flesh
Sleep sleep sleep
As I pull the shaft from the mesh
Sadly during this frigid night
I have the feeling you will die
As much as I know you will fight
Right here right now I should say goodbye
Why did your life have to end this way?
If only my strength were good
Then alive you would stay
But this is only if I could
If I’d known the outcome, then I would
Rest in peace
In a coffin floating on water
It is you I release
And I forever dread that I forced your son to grow up without his father.

Oh how I loved your hair greasy and long
While headbanging to a 2000s song
We talked on and on
About the things that we’ve done and seen
By the look in your eyes I know what you mean to me
It’s been awhile
But I swear the moment
We play those 2000s songs-
Instead of talking about what I did wrong-
Then I could look into those eyes
And see a broken version
Of the boy who once meant the world to me.

Oh how I loved your hair greasy and long
While headbanging to a 2000s song
We talked on and on
About the things that we’ve done and seen
By the look in your eyes I know what you mean to me
It’s been awhile
But I swear the moment
We play those 2000s songs-
Instead of talking about what I did wrong-
Then I could look into those eyes
And see a broken version
Of the boy who once meant the world to me.

Oh how I loved your hair greasy and long
While headbanging to a 2000s song
We talked on and on
About the things that we’ve done and seen
By the look in your eyes I know what you mean to me
It’s been awhile
But I swear the moment
We play those 2000s songs-
Instead of talking about what I did wrong-
Then I could look into those eyes
And see a broken version
Of the boy who once meant the world to me.

Oh to have summer and spring, or fall and winter,
Persephone and Hades shouldn’t always be together.
For what is light without dark?
Or day without night?
What is evil without good
Or good people who have bad days?
Although balance is key,
I need a break from the sheets of cold and rain.
They shouldn’t always be together,
Hades and Persephone.

Here I am waiting for you. I can’t wait for you to join me. These living halls are lonely but I know that you will find me-
you can always find me. Maybe I should worry though.
My voice doesn’t reach far- that’s never stopped you before.
Here I am standing out of sight. I used to enjoy your presence, but now I’m thinking twice.

One for pain
Two for hurt
Three for an ending
And four for a church
Five for witches
Six for men
And seven for the ones who will never breathe again.

“Watch out”, I hastily shriek.
Why do you draw closer? What are you about?
You ought not to- how can you make this choice sober?
“Stay away!” I cry once more to you.
I am toxic, heavy, albeit durable in some way.
“Can’t you see what I am?” Why are you so certain and ready?
You know that I am deadly-, and nearing me ends without glory and glam.
No matter what I seem to touch: earthy, watery, naturally, and fleshly,
Each I corrupt and poison with my essence and such.

This is not a Grimm’s Fairytale
This is not a game
This is not by Hans Christian Anderson
This is not by J.K. Rowling
This is not by destiny
This is not by fate
This is by you and the lousy choices which you make.
This is not happily ever after-
Not even close.
I was always Tinkerbell following her Peter Pan,
And you were always the jealous Captain Hook.

Shimmering shining
Shifting shaping
Surely shading
Swimming shallow
Scummy shore
Squirmy squeakies
Simply succumb
Sojourn sinking
Slowly snoozing
Shuffling swiftly
Sudden silence

Isn’t it funny how people only care about the rule
“A card laid is a card played “ in a game,
But when the phrase is used in an argument
You are just “messing around”?
But usually thats the reason we are arguing…

I am sorry
I swear I’m fine;
These are words I hear all the time.
I need someone to talk to
I haven’t the time-maybe later;
These are phrases I want to hear now.
I can’t sleep,
I can’t dream
I can’t eat,
This tiredness is waning on me;
These are failed to leave the tongue.
Sometimes, I know it’s hard,
But why don’t you realize
I am here for you- especially in the dark?
Why is it so difficult for you to say what you want?

Hold me as I scream
My dreams convey a message
It isn’t real right?
You were right to comfort me
These nightmares are real

I think I used to love you
I remember how we met
I think I used to smile for you
I don’t remember the rest.
I think I might have hurt you
I know you would never try.
I think I had someone good
I know I let us die.
I think we were close
I wish I could remember what I did.
I can’t say I didn’t mean to hurt you
I know I am responsible for this.
I think an apology is not enough
I know I can’t see you face to face
I think you probably hate my guts.
I wish I could remember
I wish I never had forgot.
I think the only thing worse than hurting is not knowing why.
I don’t think I should say something
I think I should stay away.
I really want to cheer you up.
I really want to change our fate.
I think I am too late
I wish I could ask.
I know I love you and I want you back.
I think it has to be this way because
I know I am too late.

You said we were fine, but that was only on the phone.
You said you were forever mine, I guess we have a difference in what we want. I know that everything could have stayed if I had let you in; leaving you out was not the easiest thing I ever did. The easiest things I ever did were to say “Hello” and “I love you”. I wish instead, I never kept my secret and have it come to this. You thought I was selfish or I didn’t care. I thought you were wrong; I thought you would stay. But the most foolish thing I did was let you walk away. I wish I told you my secret, I wish I wouldn’t have pushed you away.

“There is a last time for everything”
“Nothing ever truly lasts”
“There is no point of return”
I wish these were true about the tears I've shed
I wish these were true about the feelings of hurt and dread
“There is nothing worth living for”
“Nothing lasts forever”
“There is little hope for tomorrow”
I wish these weren’t true about the life I have lead
I wish these weren’t true about the feelings I have had

It is far too early to tell if the feeling inside is truly love,
But one thing I can spell is that before you my life nearly drove me numb.
Every time I see you my heart and chest swell,
Every time you speak I forget time and air.
I hope we each are trying to find a place where we can dwell,
Because who else can fill a void I never knew needed fill?

When all the world “seems to quit”
And people realize that crime is timeless,
Maybe someone will stand with a firm fist
In the fight against violence.

In the fight against violence
As the cause finally takes its form
And people realize that crime is timeless,
All who don’t know will be informed.

All who don’t know will be informed
Through boisterous shouts in the city
As the cause finally take its form
Maybe then the world will be less filthy.

Maybe then the world will be less filthy
The rebels ponder as they plan their next attack
Through boisterous shouts in the city
Like family, they fight back to back.

Like family, they fight back to back
Aware that the life they’ve chosen isn’t forgiving
The rebels ponder as they plan their next attack
But everything they are fighting for is life-giving.

But everything they are fighting for is life-giving
Though they are choosing to break their silence
Aware that the life they’ve chosen isn’t forgiving
For nothing is more violent than silence.

Cowering isn’t the specialty of the Politician
Cowering isn’t the responsibility of their voters
Power is the goal of the Politician
Power is given to them by their voters
The offspring of power is Corruption
Corruption swallows the weak

No one wants to be swallowed by Corruption;
No one wants to be weak
Politicians are easily corrupted
Politicians are not corrupted by power
Corruption swallows the weak

The offspring of Politicians are martyrs
Martyrs are not the weak
Their parents were elected by their voters
The offspring of power is Corruption
The offspring of Politicians will weep
Corruption swallows the weak

No one expects the Corruption
No one expects power to create the weak
How are they to defend when the Offspring is complete?
Snaking and conniving, shredding righteous laws,
Decimating and slaying righteous men;
The strong will be forsaken,
And Corruption swallows the weak.

Why are your baby blues smothered in lies?
Your words are orange and oversized.
Baby with blues why do you emphasize your word
With the fixation of your unwitted glance being absurd?
Try as I do your betraying gaze causes me pain
Tell me if there was any truth I could gain?
Oh blue eyed bird I can’t even bear your words,
For now I will remember you as one of the cowards.

My hazel angel what have I done?
Have we not only just begun?
Darling of both brown and blue,
What have I done to you?
You don’t have to flinch as I’ve raised my voice-
I swear that hurting you is my last choice!
Maybe we should go separate ways,
Otherwise your look will make me feel guilty for the rest of my days.

Jealous queen of green, there is no other,
So why stare daggers as you smother?
Here is the list of people I’ve called and texted
My mother is no reason for you to be perplexed!
Your evergreen binoculars I swear are backwards
This happens every time I think we’ve moved forwards.
It’s not me, it’s your judgement.
I’m happy now with you gone as my adjustment.

Doe-eyed and insecure inside are you
Even though your beauty is all I view.
Why do you insist a lack of worth with your coffee beans?
I don’t care what you wear even if it’s bell bottom jeans!
Oh the beadiness of your chocolate hue
Catches me off guard whenever I’m with you.
Maybe something is wrong with me,
That’s why it’s so devastating for me to leave.

Though I would never call you demon by your eyes,
Their lack of empathy is completely to my surprise.
How can I tell if you are having fun?
How can I be sure you love me or anyone?
Their black depth is so frustrating,
I can’t tell if you are happy with the one you are dating.
Please can you leave me first?
After your predecessors, you are the worst!

No one is a worse friend than you
Nobody compares to your level of cruelty
Nobody is a tourniquet for my heart like you
Nobody else has me feel like I have been trampled by a bull
Nobody starts a pointless fight better
Nobody is as uncaring as you
Nobody is as unfair and manipulative
Nobody has as small a heart
No one is as far and dearly painful as you
No one discards me like you
No one makes me cry harder
No one keeps me up at night
Nobody crushes my dreams like you do
Nobody pays petty attention like you
Nobody realizes how much they were hurt by you

Nobody realizes how much they need you
Nobody pays attention like you
Nobody lies awake with me like you do
No one soothes me to sleep faster
No one makes me smile brighter
No one holds my hand like you
No one far or near could be as dear to me as you
Nobody has a bigger heart
Nobody is as fair and strong
Nobody is as faithful as you
Nobody can defuse a fight like you
Nobody has me feeling like I’m tethered to a bull
Nobody gives my heart a tighter hold
Nobody can compare to you
No one is a better best friend than you

Oh! Choose me!
I like to play games!
Give me a sudoku, crossword, a word search even.
Give me a deck of cards, UNO, Phase 10, or Skipbo even.
Give me a boardgame, a video game, or even a mental challenge;
But don’t play dumb just to mess with my heart,
And don’t act like you care because you want to play with my head.

Nobody is forcing your hand
Nor are they holding a cup to your lips
It’s not your parent’s fault
Its not medicinal
God didn’t tell you to
And the government had no say.
You buy what you buy,
You sip what you sip-
Just give it up already!
I don’t believe you anymore.
Because an addiction is an addiction,
No matter how small.

Am I folly for
Living in melancholy?
I already know.

I come from a dynasty of pain
My thoughts become the lies I can’t contain
These memories I have buried inside
Offer no thrill, justice, or sanity to provide
If only I could walk from my family line without disdain
I come from a dynasty of lust
My thoughts are constantly flooded with the intimately unjust
These memories I have of immoral kisses
Offer no satisfaction or promise of love and trust
If only I could escape from those who rust
I come from a dynasty of lies
My thoughts become the next greatest surprise
These memories I have of my whisperings
Offer to great reactions and rapid messagings
If only I had someone pure of tongue to idolize
I am an individual of fear
My thoughts circulate about why I am here
These memories of all moments of my life
Offer only confliction between victory and strife
If only I had a stronger connection to faith than those I hold dear.

You are unraveling like poison in my throat
You are unchanging without a working antidote
You don’t inspire
You don’t impress
You don’t have what it takes to assert yourself
No, you don’t have what it takes to feel anything
You just think you feel yourself
What does it feel like, in your shoes and in your skin?
What does it feel like to be someone else and not yourself?
Not to be rude but honey I can’t relate
I don’t take my heartbreak and build another wall of pain
No, I can’t relate
I just pick up my pieces to suffer them in a real way.
I am not sorry you don’t like to be honest
But I’m sorry I can’t relate.
You are spiralling rapidly as a whirlpool with no beginning; no end.
How do you not feel ashamed?
You don’t have your own style,
You wear all their clothes,
You even wear their smile,
So how can you still strike that pose?
No, I can’t relate
I can’t base my opinions on other people’s favorites
I don’t reject myself
I can’t relate
I eat what I want and what I like
Sorry I can’t fake,
I know you don’t like it
But I can’t relate
It isn’t all that hard to choose yourself
It isn’t all that hard to be yourself
What is the price of being someone else?
How much does it cost to kill yourself?
Oh Lord I wouldn’t know,
Because no matter what I can’t relate
Post it wherever you want
And you can try all you want
You are made of hate
I am glad I can’t relate

A microscopic voice
An empty seeming urge
All it is, right?
An itsy bitsy feeling
A creeping sense of thought
All it is, right?
A little doubt in certainty
A flash of fading sanity
All it is, right?
A little bit of therapy
A lost foundation of common sense
All it is… right?

She said “I miss you”
That much I found hard to believe
How can you miss someone
When you see them as often as once a week?
He said “I love you”
Those words should be hard to ignore.
Though not a human nor beast
Could truly understand what they adore.
They said “Always” and “Forever”
What right do they have to proclaim?
Every person can say these
As simply as stating their name!
I guess I have heard it-
That everything they could say I know.
How am I set apart?
Why do I not find their naive nature as bliss?
How do I find their simpleness
And their romanticised beliefs so general and worthy of my envy?
Maybe it's the normalcy I can’t achieve,
But it’s these same people that cause my empathy.
Now I know when she says “I miss you”
She isn’t just saying “We will meet again”
It’s not the words that matter,
It’s just how she represents her intent.
Now I realize when he said “I love you”
He wasn’t saying “I acknowledge what you do for me”.
Simply, these words never could explain
The true bond of feelings underneath.
Never have I understood their emotions
But my chance to feel the same was taken.
So, now I stand alone,
Thinking about all that they have been sayin’
I hope one day I can say “I miss you”
And express my lonely waiting,
That those who hear me
Know that “I love you” is what I am meaning.
I hope one day I can say “I love you”
Without falter or lack of faith.
Then maybe I would be less afraid,
And my cold exterior would break away.
Today I told her “I miss you”
And I cried with her over the phone.
Sure, she hadn’t been away long,
But after I told her I felt less alone.
Today I stopped at his grave
Then I said “I miss you”.
Sometimes the words mean the same,
As when there is nothing left to do.
Let it be known now,
If I don’t say my love in it’s form
It isn’t because I don’t care.
The phrasing I just don’t understand anymore.
From now on, and forever more,
If I utter “I miss you” loud and clear,
Know that even if you haven’t been gone for more than a second,
That I only mean to say “I love you dear”.

They say you are a monster,
I have been told you will hurt me
They say you deserve to die alone
I have been told to watch you closely

But they don’t see your heart
I see the way your heart breaks when they speak against you
Whatever you did wrong, your past will not turn me against you.

In truth, I don’t deserve you because you never fail or fade.
I see you like fresh flowers in the spring though you last perennially.

They ask if I am under a spell, curse, or threat;
I have been asked if I am your slave or captive;
They ask if you deserve the grandness of my heart;
And I have also been asked if I want you dead.

But if they were to take you, I’d seek revenge for every second lost.
I could only hope that my love and all that I give you is enough.
I don’t want their influence to hurt you more than it has,
Because dead or alive, you are all that I want.

So the monsters we hear can’t change us;
Their words may drive others to fear,
But all my promises and compliments are sincere.

I am sorry I lied
I know why you are here
I know what you are needing
But I want to set fire to a peaceful plane
So I am sorry I lied
I wasn’t ready for what I was being offered
So I am sorry I lied
I never meant to hurt you-
Pain is just the flame of my desire
Not even the surprise of an embrace
Can create a fire as wide.
So I am sorry I lied
Can you see that my smile is awry?
Can you tell that my clammy hands are defying their shaking nature?
I guess I shouldn’t pretend I am sorry anymore.
I am so sorry that I lied,
But I will lie for all my days.
I am sorry
At least I tried.

What’s up with men?
I give them my heart
But they just call me a “ten”
What’s up with men?
They say to “ignore them,
Don’t worry your pretty little head”.
But what’s up with men?!
I shoot them a smile,
And they aim for my bed.
What’s happening to me?
What’s the point of being free,
If there is always someone trying to tie you down?
My heart need no more weight
My mind need no more hate
Why do they hope to weigh me down?
What’s up with girls?

The cloud was a dismal grey
Crying heavily upon an old man
Who was sitting by two graves which held
A dead lily and a living love.
Crying heavily upon an old man
The cloud finally let light shine upon
A dead lily and a living love
That once blossomed like the trees in spring.
The clouds finally let the light shine upon
The flowing puddles and dying flowers
That once bloomed in spring
And kissed their colored wings.
The flowing puddles and dying flowers
Came from the arms of the old man who sat on the grass
And kissed their colored wings
As each loving tear and petal hit the ground.
Coming from the arms of the old man who sits on the grass
Pain screams out from the man
As each loving tear and petal hit the ground:
The ones once loved.
Pain screams out from the man
Who was sitting by two graves which held
The ones who once loved
The cloud that was a dismal grey.

Where are you?
You are the phantom of my nightmare.
The ebbing tide between comfort and disaster;
Like a meteor dawning on impact,
With the speed of a mad titan,
The passion of a worshipper,
The darkness of the ocean abyss.
Damn the blurry vision I have!

If my sights were clear then I would know your face
With kisses and touches- not a hair out of place-.
But I see you like a shadow and I feel you like a cut.
Reveal yourself to me- I beg.
When will I deserve you?
When will I have you near?
I reach for your hand
Though all I see is blood pouring.
I bet you could steal me without warning.

Do I need to suffer for you?
If so, then bring it on!
Slice into my flesh and bone;
Sear my fingers;
And sew my mouth shut.
Abuse until you’re bored,
Slash until I no longer scream.
Do what you will with my body-
It does not matter to me-
So long as I know that you are real
And that I am still somewhat sane.
I would endure all your torture
For a chance at personal gain.

No one could change my mind.
Though they don’t understand the power of dreams,
They believe in “soulmates” and “one trues”.
They are more foolish than I if they believe these of you.
Be my guard, my judge, my fountain of youth;
Be my beast, my killer, my prince.
Don’t let their constant hatred for perfection tear you down.
But run into my arms
And hold me like we were to say “goodbye”.

I can’t hurt or betray you,
I can’t seek or desire you,
I can’t return your suffering,
And I can’t wipe your tears
If all you do is evade me.
Nothing matters and if something did I still wouldn’t care.
Please hold a reassuring gaze as you touch my cheek.
Reveal your intentions, do as you wish.
I know I sound desperate,
But only because I am a pawn in your hands.
Nothing is worse than rejection
When you don’t even stand a chance:
When the person is unknown
But you still follow them like a slaughter-ready lamb.

Many have tried to come before you
And I tried some flavors,
Yet I heard your breath in my heart;
Theirs did not match in measure.
I don’t believe in much-
That will remain true.
I believe that you are somewhere out there waiting;
I believe that I feel our hearts aching.
Oh what I’d give to expand this connection!
Please my love, tell me which direction?
I don’t care how far I must run:
My feet could bleed
My organs fail
If it meant I’d see your face.

They say we can’t create a person in our imagination
Which we haven’t seen before.
So you must be real
And this much I never doubt.
If it is God’s plan for us to suffer and wait,
Then I shall blow kisses to the passing stars
In hopes they shine for you at night.
I will never grow weak or weary-
I ask you remain the same.
I will find you my darling mystery.
“Maybe someday soon….” I shall be saying while I wait.
Never have I been a damsel in distress,
But now it’s only you who can break my chains.
It’s only you and I who can set this right.

I don’t want to waste anymore
Even as I lay here I see the past
Leaving it all behind just adds to my torment
A broken soul,
With a shattered heart,
And a few tears to shed,
Vividly, I remember her face
As I am trapped still by a vow that can’t be changed.
True to my vow,
Only she is of my eye and heart.
Reality hit me straight
Any hope I had is failing.
It is useless to avenge this life
As if to complete it.
So instead of waiting for change
I will remain a hostage until the end of my days.

Why do you choose my pain over cheer?
Why do you ruin a happy moment for your gain?
Why do you refuse regular conversation and in turn drive me insane?
If I could leave you to the dullness of your life, I would be out any second
But your guilt has become my emotional demise- although I have defeated depression.
Your parasite is in my mind and shredding the insides
I am at a loss for words- well what can I say?
All I ever wanted was your presence, instead all I have is your strain.
Without a doubt I could strip all of this away
But the balance of silent suffering and impishness with compliments and undivided attention
Refuse my heart of this tranquil state
We all have our choices though I know not which to make
I will cry watching you behind these emotions I do fake
After all, it is not up to me the paths you choose to take.