The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I was just inducted into the House of La Bella Oscuridad and I'm pretty happy. It looks like a great place to be and I feel like I've finally cut my teeth a little on this place.



I need to get back to the matter at hand though which is what brought me to VR in the first place.



On an interesting side note, I had a strange dream about a week ago regarding me becoming a vampire and then having to travel to Ohio to see a friend who was an assassin to help me deal with a slayer who wanted to kill me. I told this friend about the dream the next day. His response? "Hopefully I was like Jessica Biel in Blade 3." LOL - I mean really?



So the dream has stayed with me and so finally I wrote this friend again and offered a proposition. I'm going to start writing this dream down as if it were an actual story and then hand him the 'next chapter' to write the rest of it from his perspective. It could be an interesting/exciting project. We'll see how it goes.

So I'm quite pleased to say that I have a future home but I won't be saying anything about it until it's official. No jinx! But it's nice that the search is over.



The second comment is one regarding an observation regarding profiles. I've read quite a few so far and have many more to go as I'm trying to return ratings as fast as possible (having the stamp button will help!). What I've noticed though is that there is an awfully large number of prickly folks here. Haha - and this is not necessarily a bad thing per se (no south park reference intended!). I guess I shouldn't be terribly surprised that there are some wounded birds drawn to a 'scene' like this. It does give me something to ponder though....

So I started writing in Word a journal entry as I said I would in the entry on June 9th. I was on a train at the time which cut my finishing it short. I decided rather than try to finish the entire thing, I'd just post what I had and come back and a bit more at a time as I am able. Hence the "Part I." So, without further ado:





“What does a vampire represent to you?”



That is the question that a close friend posed to me this past weekend. The question came in the course of a rather lengthy discussion about my ongoing head first dive into the ‘darkness.’ I laugh a bit even using the word ‘darkness’ because, it seems, when I use it in certain contexts and with certain people, there is an immediate understanding of what I mean.



Certainly with the close intertwining of what vampires are and what ‘darkness’ represents, I suppose I could explain what they both mean to me at the same time and yet they are distinctly different in my mind.



I suppose I should mention that much of this renewed interest began with fall of this year and when I discovered that I spent the entire month of October celebrating Halloween. Shortly thereafter, I discovered quite serendipitously Ulteria - the goth/ebm night. That seemed to be the ‘accelerant’ as it were, that has driven me faster and more deeply into this world.



Oddly enough, it’s only been in the last few weeks that I have started to remember so much more about how much I was a part of this world at one time when I was much younger. As I think back and as I talk to friends, I’ve uncovered random memories of books about vampires that I read; of a persona that I projected; of peculiar quirks such as the urge to crush things like chicken bones with my teeth. As one acquaintance put it, “Oh sweetie, you’re not becoming something new – you’re becoming something you were all along.”



Even now, I think about my enjoyment of running and biking and the underlying need for speed that I have. I find speed most exhilarating whenever I’m in a setting where there are obstacles (think parkour) and agility is combined with speed.



So what do I mean by ‘darkness’ or just ‘the dark.’ It means so much and can be described in so many ways really. So with that in mind, I’m just going to stream of consciousness a list here:



• Edward Gorey

• Autumn

• Halloween

• Night clubs

• Dark red and black velvet

• Goth/ebm/industrial music

• Smoldering penetrating gazes (or glares!)

• OLD cemeteries

• The woods/forest

• Cold rain

• Shadows at twilight

• Moonlit nights in the winter

• Hyperaware senses (especially smell)



I could probably keep going for quite some time. But I think this gives a pretty good sense of what I mean. There’s certainly nothing earth shattering there. These are all things that I suppose anyone could put on a list like this. Nonetheless, these things do represent experiences, times, places, etc. that evoke very strong reactions and emotions in me.



This is the 'dark' or 'darkness' that I'm speaking of generally. But what of this more intense need to 'find others.' That's the new part I guess. And that's what brought me first to VampireFreaks and now VampireRave. I'm looking forward to meeting more people, virtually and in real life who share this....need.

So I'm starting to narrow down the covens I might be interested in. Anyone have thoughts comments about these:



DE'MORTE



The Coven Of Mystical Blood Moon



The Coven of Infinitus Serenus

It was quite a good long discussion about what has been happening to me (ever deeper descent into the dark, what I think may be an awakening, etc.). He was really very helpful, as great friends are, just listening, periodically asking questions, and occasionally offering some insight or thoughts.



One of the things he suggested was journaling, hahaha. I think he's completely right and so I shall attempt to be more focused and diligent in capturing my thoughts here.



Given that this is a wholly public forum, I know I'm inviting comment, implicitly if not explicitly. That said, I would hope that any who choose to comment will be do so constructively and, really, more importantly, thoughtfully. I will greatly appreciate any in-depth and well thought out comments. Even if I don't agree with a comment, I will at least have heard something that I had to consider and that's what's important.

So Ulteria was pretty cool. Music was pretty on though there were a few tracks I could have done without. And of all the weirdest things...the guest DJ played Dance Magic. I mean, what?! LOL!



In other news, the 'sparkly ones' were in fact there and they did indeed sparkle. Hahaha though 'flamed' might have been a better description.



And last but not least - I was rounding the corner and saw a guy who I just instinctively knew was different. I got my drink and found a spot to casually chill out (read cool off because it was f'ing hot in there) and I watched this guy for a bit and then, sure enough, he smiled really widely and there they were - serious hard core fangs. You'd better believe I chatted him up soon after. "Um, who was your 'maker'?"

Can. NOT. WAIT! It's been two months since I've had a 'dark' night out.



I missed last month and it was apparently very much my loss. I got two different texts from friends who regularly attend. Each went along the lines of "There are a couple of your kind here..." I wrote back, "Just what do you mean?" The response was, the little imps, "They sparkle...."



Hahaha, they're well aware how much I cringe whenever anyone refers to the Twilight sparkly vampires. At any rate, apparently, these guys very much 'looked' like me (see my profile pic) although younger.



It'll be interesting to see if they attend this evening. If there are fangs around, I'm sure I'll have an EXCELLENT time!

I've been busy trying to return ratings. Got through quite a few this morning but now I have to get back to RL. I'll keep at it.



For anyone checking this out, and especially if you see that I'm 'stalking' you, it's mainly because in the course of my returning ratings, I was rushing through and couldn't spend as much time as I would have liked on some profiles. So, those being stalked are ones I want to return to - there are some AMAZING profiles out there!

I missed the New Haven area dark/goth night last month so I'm massively fiending for it this Saturday. Any CT area folks heading to it?



I'll be heading down to DC next week. I've been poking around wondering what kind of scene is down there. If anyone out there reading this has some insight, I'd much appreciate it!