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Sometimes I feel like it wasn't real. Like it was just a dream, where I'm someone else, on the outside, looking in. I know that I loved him; I was so deeply inlove with him--so entranced by him--that I couldn't see past him. He was harsh and mean and awful, and yet I loved him. I loved every single fault about him.

Even though I knew it wouldn't be right, I wanted to marry him. We'd discuss it and I'd think, "That'll be great. Until we get divorced." And yet, somehow, when we broke up, I was shocked. I stayed in bed for a week. I didn't go to school, I didn't eat, I didn't talk to anyone. I just lay in bed. I cried--oh, did I cry! There were a few days where I felt that I hit rock bottom and I tried to kill myself. He knew I'd try--he knew me too well.

For everything I felt, for as much as I loved and hated him, I now feel numb to it. Do I still love him? I love him like I love my cousin's puppy... I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him, but I'm not going to be heartbroken if I never see him again.

We started talking again last year; it had been just over two years, which is the amount of time we'd been together. Go figure. I was with someone new and thought I was in love. Again. The funny thing is, I don't know what I ever saw in him and I've been wondering it since we started speaking again. He's annoying and rude and controlling. He used to go out of his way to try to make me jealous, and it seems that he STILL wants me to be jealous. So now I ignore him. The guy I thought I'd be with forever.

The next guy... Well, I never thought I'd have any sort of feelings for him. We'd worked together for a couple years and I always thought he was an annoying pervert. Not to mention the fact that he's 8 years older than I am. And, of course, he had to be the one I fall for... Only I'd do it.

Everyone was shocked when I told them. "You're dating WHO?!" I heard that countless times. Everyone asked what had changed my mind...

As ridiculous as it seems, the moment I knew (or, rather, thought I knew) that I loved him--which was quite spur of the moment--was over the phone. His brother asked him who he was talking to... I don't know what he actually told him, but he told me that he said, "The woman I'm going to make my wife." It just clicked. A few days later we started dating.

I don't know if it was just a sort of, "Okay, I can deal with this" kind of thing or if I just didn't realize until then the possiblity, but that's when it happened.

Or maybe it was fake love. I don't know.

The last one was during the same time as the second. I know it sounds horrible, and it was, but he and I had history.

This third guy--oh, he's amazing...

We'd met in school because we ended up in the same class. I happened to be dating the first guy at the time and he was dating some random girl... I always thought the kid was gorgeous and funny... Quirky in his own sweet way.

The summer after the first guy had broken up with me, the third guy's girlfriend had broken up with him. So we met and started hanging out. Every day. For months.

I'd go over to his house and we'd take a nap and play video games and watch movies and talk... We cried together. We laughed together. I felt amazing things, but couldn't tell him because we were both "heartbroken" over our previous 'significant others.'

Well, one day he was gone. He moved away, and I never heard from him. I tried calling, I tried talking to his parents--nothing.

About a year later he came back into my life. He left me a note on my car of all things! I happened to be in Florida with my sister at the time, but got back to him as soon as possible. We talked and laughed and he explained what had happened. None of it really matters, other than he did some growing up. And he'd missed me.

I missed him more than he could've imagined, and my heart ached for him. But I was with the second guy. And I loved him. But I also loved the third.

Guy three and I hung out again. Whenever I was home from school, he'd call me up and take me out. Guy two, whom I was still with, never really bothered to see me. I was so torn between the two of them that I felt insane.

I couldn't leave guy two because I knew I'd regret it forever. I couldn't give up guy three, either, because he was my life.

After debating for months, I knew I had to make a decision. I weighed my options.

Then, out of nowhere, guy three asked. I can't even say it, ohmigosh, I can't. It makes me sick to this day. I don't believe in regrets (or at least I try not to), but this must be one: I said no.

He moved away. He got engaged. We haven't spoken since. (They've since broken up, but he still has not contacted me.)

Then, a mere two weeks later, guy two dumps me.

Every man I've loved has left me.

The only one that feels real was the one that couldn't have been.

So I'm giving up on love. I'm giving up on men. I'm going to go through school, become successful, and live my life.

I've had other heartbreaks and I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of being depressed. I'm sick of feeling alone.

Hell, I cried today over someone I hardly know...

I'll move away. I'll get a cat or dog or fish or something. I'll have a career. And I will be happy.

So my neighbor Simon was driving home at 3 am from a poker game. He was feeling good, having just won $70, especially since Poker was not his game. Little did he know what misfortune was about to befall him--his life was about to change! It came, quite litterally, in the form of a cow.



Driving about 50 mph down a dirt road, there was nothing poor Simon could do as a gigantic cow ran--yes, ran--out in front of his Jeep. Locking his brakes and praying for a miracle, he plowed into the cow, smashing his vehicle and taking the life of the now Holy Cow.



Shocked, afraid, and with the likelihood of pee-stained pants, Simon called his friends to tell them what happened...



Not only did they offer no support, but they laughed at him in disbelief.



The cow's owner offered no guidance, either, and was a little upset at losing one of his beautiful daughters. Her blood was smattered everywhere, and she had to be carried away on a fork lift, never to be heard from again.



Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Well, the moral of the story is to not hit a cow on a dirt road while going 50." But you're wrong.



The moral of the story is...



What does a cow sound like when it is being murdered? I mean, we should all know--I'm sure most of you eat cows.



The cow let out a loud, high-pitched screech as it was being mauled by the large metal creature called Jeep. It could be heard over brakes, over the awful scraping of squealing tires on dirt.



Now you know. Never forget.



And don't hit any cows.



Update: We do not know if the cow was suicidal at its point of death or whether it was simply hoping for the greener pastures of the neighbor's field. Autopsy reports are still being filed.