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So I used to talk to this guy... Years ago. And I found him not too long ago on myspace (I know, I know). Anyway, we started talking again (we still can't believe we've found each other after 5 1/2 years or so)... He's engaged to be married in April. He didn't sound too happy about it when he told me and he's really still very young (only 22), so I said, "Why the FUCK are you getting married?!" Well, now he's decided that he wants to put if off. For a while. A long while. They've been engaged for over 2 years (been together for over 5--they started dating right after we stopped talking). She's not going to be happy and I can't help but think that I have had some hand in this. Not to mention the fact that he tells me he loves me. Every day. And last night he said that when he was hugging her good-bye (she was going somewhere for work), he wished it was me. Oh, man... I feel terrible...

I keep associating his name with love.

I have no business doing so.

He's not mine, he's not yours, he's not hers.

He belongs only to himself.

And yet I cannot get him out of my head.

I'm sure I'm not in his.

Make the spinning, swirling thoughts leave me.

They haunt my dreams.

They tear at my soul.

They fill my eyes.

They caress my brain.

And they leave me empty, alone, angry, and sad.

I erupt into tears and cry myself into sanity.

And yet?

I am the creator of my own misery!

Well, I've very proud of myself. I've been on here, what, a week? I'm already 20% through Shadow. :) That means I can start doing cool stuff. So thank you to everyone and everything that makes the website so fun and interesting. :)

~Love and hugs~

*MeowMixLP*

Well, this far my profile SUCKS. No wonder I'm only rated a 7? lol. Oh, well, I don't care about the ratings. I need some help with the profile, though... Backgrounds, cool stuff to put up... Music videos... I tried 4 times to put in a music video, but it just wouldn't work. :( If I can conquer myspace, facebook, and vampirefreaks, can't I do the same with vampirerave? Although I do like this place the best. :) The people are better, the banter more interesting... I'm having fun on here.

Well, off to catch up on polls and forums for a bit.

~Love and bites and bloody kisses~

There's this guy I like. Not sure why I like him--I really couldn't tell you. He's a total ass and he's ridiculous. I asked him on a date and he said yes and he hasn't said a word to me since. From what he's been saying online, however, I get the feeling that he's somehow pissed off at me! What the fuck. So I'm sitting here crying over some loser who doesn't deserve a single one of my tears, but it's not even the first time. I need to be slapped!