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4 entries this month
The Damned Wall
19:58 Jul 16 2005
Times Read: 599
I shouldn’t care what others thing about me. I pretend I don’t. Hiding it even from my own thoughts. But I have to face up. I do care. Damn it! Let me be me! Let me be who I am with out the judgment of others to mold me to their likening. How do I stop caring? It’s so hard because I am so very weak… I HATE BEING WEAK! I want to be strong, internally and externally. But how? How when I’m so very alone. So misunderstood by even myself… I have built a wall around myself and not even I know how to crack it. Sure there are cracks and there are those…. No there is one who could tell me where most of those cracks are… but not even she could tell me how to destroy my wall. Nor would I ask her to try for she has her own wall to defeat. I wish her the best of luck. No this monster I NEED to defeat myself as always. Maybe if I explore this wall… know every crook and cranny of this wall. I could find discover why the wall is there. If I learn every detail about the wall, maybe just maybe I could learn how to destroy it completely. Then again would I want it gone? Do I really want everyone to see all of me? Ever detail of my meness? Maybe I could leave some wall… or find a way to lift the wall if I so choose… either way… something has to change.
Patients03:10 Jul 08 2005
Times Read: 601
Some one give me some damn patients.
18:11 Jul 07 2005
Times Read: 603
Maybe it’s the fact that I have nothing in common with most people. We have no reason to talk. Merhaps I’m just rambling on about shit.
?07:01 Jul 03 2005
Times Read: 608
I want to know everything, but do not take the time to listen. I want to become something great, but can never accomplish. I NEED to do something, but am damned to lazy.
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