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Johnny Weissmuller’s (Tarzan) Amazing Teeth
09:47 Apr 15 2017
Times Read: 381






Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) and I are stranded on a skyscrapers 34th floor ledge, of course I am guessing at the 34th floor, there was no available body of facts or information indicating as to the height, but I have a fear of heights and let me tell you…it was up there!



After a terrifying 30 seconds of looking down at the street far far below, Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) abruptly decides we have to leap to the 34th ledge of the skyscraper…again guessing… across the street!



It was a horrible leap, one would think that Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) would have a great leap, an Olympic leap and one would also expect to hear that signature yell…”AhhhhhhhhAahhhhhAhAhAhAhhhhhh!”…but neither happened, the leap was weak, poor, embarrassing really and Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) screamed like a wee girl as he plummeted.



Now here’s were it gets weird.



Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) managed to reach the side of that adjacent skyscraper and catch himself with his hands on a windowless lower floor ledge. I am watching him struggle to pull himself up, yet I didn’t jump, probably that fear of heights thing, but somehow I am still with Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan). I didn’t become Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan), I wasn’t seeing through his eyes, but there I was…I know, right? Weird…anyway…



There happens to be a hole in the wall with a rope trailing out of it that Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) uses to pull himself up and then begins to pull himself into. But the hole isn’t incredibly large and Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) can only get his head through before he becomes hopelessly stuck.



Somehow, and remember I never jumped from that other skyscraper , I am watching Johnny Weissmuller’s (Tarzan) stuck head from the other side of that wall and that head is stuck in a polar bear enclosure.



I watch Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan) struggle to free his head and when a polar bear emerges I watch Johnny Weissmuller struggle in a panic! The polar bear makes a lumbering beeline for Johnny Weissmuller’s (Tarzan) panicked struggling stuck head.



The polar bear lowers his snout and sniffs at Johnny Weissmuller’s (Tarzan) head and that’s when Johnny Weissmuller’s (Tarzan) mouth instantly opens up and covers the front of his entire head exposing sharp needle like teeth. After a few confused pawing moments the polar bear then starts licking those needle teeth.



This is another example of the crazy shit I dream…