Love03:25 Jun 27 2008
Times Read: 541
Yet again, I find myself in the position of being single.
Does it suck? You bet your ass it does. Was there something I could've done differently? More than likely. Is it too late? That, my friends, is a very good question.
It all started in April. Met someone up at a place I hang out, just expecting to be friends. A couple of days later, the same person calls me with car trouble.
I did the right thing and walked to where she was, yes walked, to help bail her out. Everything was cool. We started hanging out more and more over the next few days, and before I know it, I had feelings for her, knowing that she was taken. For some reason that didn't stop me from letting her know how I felt.
Coincidentally, to my surprise, the feelings were returned. We started hanging out just about every day. It was nice. We had fun, watched movies, joked around, laughed. About a week later, though, it started to go serious. I was more than willing to take my time and let things progress on their own. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. We both jumped in head first, but it was cool.
Through the last part of April and most of May, things were kinda bouncy. The place I was staying with a now EX-FRIEND wanted her, also. So he did the stupid thing and got her totally blitzed, thinking he was going to get lucky.
After we got home, he went to bed, cause he was tired, and she was hammered. I elected to stay up with her, just to watch over her and make sure she was okay. Knowing how his couch was, I offered to let her sleep in my bed to rest and be safe. And guess what? She slep in my bed, clothes on, covered, and so did I, minus the cover.
Apparently, he didn't like the idea that she was sleeping in my bed and not his, so he got pissy, moved his stuff out, and talked so much shit to his parents that he had us kicked out. The ironic thing is? HE GOT TO MOVE BACK HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We moved over across the bridge, and a friend from where we hang out was nice enough to let us stay with her for a little while we were job hunting. By this point, she had broken up with her fiance (because he was a total asshole and wouldn't let her do anything without him), we started dating and it was cool.
While we were across the bridge, he ex decided to put on the nice guy facade and get her back, totally destroying me. I knew exactly what he was doing. And I was right. While they were together the second time, they were sleeping in the back of his work truck. You heard right, THE BACK OF HIS WORK TRUCK.
And, to makes things worse, he started his whole controlling, militaristic behavior all over again. She ended up leaving him again, for good this time. We got back together, waiting to start our jobs. In the process, we were staying with some friends who were nice enough to let us have a roof over our head for a short time.
Well for the frist few days, everything was, at best, okay. Then things started changing. I don't know if it was the people or the environment, but things turned for the worse. She (my GF) ended up telling me she was breaking up with me because "I wasn't her type"., the people we were staying with started to show their control, and whenever we'd go outside the apartment, one of the people would "channel" people and start talking about things that were private.
The last time that happened, I was told some disturbing news. No, I'm not going to put it here, because I'd be no better than a gossip whore. Needless to say, it wasn't good. But, you know what? I didn't care. I accepted her for who she was, regardless of how she was treated.
Now we're not together, we work at the same place, hang out at the same places on the weekend, except for her NEW boyfriend's place, and that's about it.
I really do hate to bring this point up, but there is one person, that I've known for a little while now, who I hang out with one day a week, and every time he's putting the moves on my ex right in front of me.
She's allowing him to do it, probably knowing that it's KILLING ME everytime I see it. But I really can't say anything to him, because it'll get back to my ex and she'll bitch at me, saying I don't have a right to say anything and to get over it.
Long story short, I'm still in love with her and I want her back. I would
do anything, almost change anything I had to to get her back. It's killing
me that I'm that close to her and can't touch her the way that I used to.
I want those days back. If she reads this, I hope she understands. I know the old saying "If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it was meant to be." I don't mind waiting, but why does it have to be so GOD DAMEND HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
COMMENTS
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LadyRaniofArtic
21:21 Jul 14 2008
Love is never easy, take it from me. Im in love with a guy, but he's taken and I have to of my closest guy friends fighting over me and it sucks. The worst part is, I'm not strong enough to let the one I love go. Be thankful that you are. Im sure that if you two are truly meant to be, things will work out. If not, then you will one day find the one you're truly in love with. It may seem like real love now, but not always is it. I thought i was in love with a different guy once, but my love for him faded after only a little while. I hope it all does work out.