The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I have 2 smiley stress balls staring back at me from my computer desk.. What right to they have to be smiling?? Shortly i am going to take them up and squeeze the living daylights out of them then put them back.

Are they smiling as they don't know how to do anytihng else? Are they content with their life of being squeezed daily? do they really care that they're being squeezed? Am I making any sense? I must be tired and feeling weird to be typing this... man, time for bed...