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I finaly told the my sub that i chose some one else and she wont stop calling me i want her to leave me alone the one i love is the one i'm with. But now she is mad at me and i don't even know why i'm so confused it not even funny i don't understand. All i do is try to make her happy but every time i get close to makeing her happy it goes out the window is this what i am damned for just getting a glimpse of love and then it going right out the fucking window i can't take this shit no more what the hell is wrong with me i just want a partner to love and to love me back i don't get it now more life used to be some much easier. I don't know maybe its me maybe not but i'm trying.



what can i do i'm lost i'm so lost and my heart hurts for her but at the same time it was bound to happen thats just how it is. I don't like being the bad guy but if thats what i have to do to be happy with the one i love then thats what i will do. I just hope for what ever reason she is mad a me she will talk to be about it i don't like seeing her unhappy. She has been sick all day today and asleep i'm doing my best to make her feel better but it seems all i'm doing is makeing her mad or makeing her want to distance her self from me and i don't want that. I'm trying my hardest but i can't seem to put into words any thing about how i feel. WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!