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Part of me is really looking forward to next weekend. It should be relaxing and fun... not to mention that the idea of three solid days of alcohol and lolling around in a pool really gets to me somehow... lol...



However I must admit that another part of me... the bookwormish part... wishes for nothing more than to stay home and read myself through my new book.



Hehe... I wonder... if I take the book with me, will I have a moment to even look at it? Somehow, I sincerely doubt it...



On another note, I was kinda in a dilemma about how to behave on this short trip. For various reasons. However now I heard that a certain person was not coming... so, all the better. Yay RELAXATION IS THE WORD!

Every person encloses a different world within his mind. A mentality... a way of looking at life... it is hard to explain really - people are different not because of their appearance, but because of how they perceive life. Not to mention the way they behave and how their ideas and theories influence everything around them...



... then there are also those poor mediocre souls who just live on reflections. They follow 'trends' and change lifestyle with the flow. Not having a complete personality but being a windvane, susceptible to every current. In other words - posers. Mostly you`ll hear how much people hate posers because they are nothing more than stupid children playing dress-ups. However the truth is that they are just stupid. Point.



These people do not deserve to be hated. They are too pathetic. Truly sometimes I even feel sorry for them... that is... when I stop laughing... hehe

Lol stupid me worrying about other people`s feelings, when in reality these people care nothing about mine. Ha, so LIVE AND LET LIVE AND ADHERE TO THE PIRATE`S CODE...



TAKE ALL YOU CAN... GIVE NOTHING BACK...



HAHAHAHA!!!

After being in the front seats to witness two of my friends` heartbreak over people who did not deserve them, I wonder... why fall in love at all? What stupid impulse makes us wonder and strive, try and desire to find a partner? Is it hormonal? Or is it because from a tender age we are brainwashed into thinking that life`s culmination is sharing it with someone else? I have never understood it. Myriad of movies and books, all with love as a central theme... and what does it lead to? Pain. Suppression. The loosing of the self.



No, I have never truly fallen in love, and looking around me, I don`t think I want to. If you never open your heart, then you never feel the hurt of breaking it.



But then, encased in ice... is life worth living? Well, perhaps it is out of my hands really. One cannot change certain basic parts of oneself. Even if one wanted to.

Ok, he`s not just obsessed... HE`S CRAZY!!!



GAH!!!



He has this thing about the girls who dump him... I guess he`ll target me next then... for God`s sake!!!!

I just don`t get it. Why do people get obsessed with other people to the exclusion of everyone else? I`ve seen it time and time again, and frankly I`m sick of it. I won`t be compared to a memory. Won`t be second best. Ever. Denial is useless. Sometimes a person is so steeped in his obsession that he`s not even aware of it, but other people certainly are. I see such things immediately, and it really grates on my nerves. If you`re so obsessed with someone don`t try and date anyone else while that is going on. Get over it, and then try and take up were you left off before that person invaded your brain. DO NOT foist your repression on others!



I have first hand knowledge of being obsessed with someone, so I should know. During that period I didn`t date either, just contemplated my stupidity and his indifference. There goes idiocy I suppose. Still, at least I didin`t try to get anyone else down with me!!!

'Whatcha doing sweetie?"



'Playing Playing Playing Playing'



'Why?'



'Why not?'

I can`t be bothered to do anything these days. I see lives changing around me; people being happy, doing stuff, going abroad and having fun - and I just don`t feel anything. Can`t reach out. Just don`t have the energy. I don`t know why, but it`s been going on for sometime now.



And I`m really tired of it. Sick and tired. Of life. Of me. Of everything. But then, again, what on earth can I do?

It`s strange how sometimes we hate someone just because he`s right. We may even be aware of it, but, perhaps hypocritically, we just cannot help it. It`s as though the hostility we feel towards ourselves and our own actions is transferred onto that person, making him the receptacle of our disdain.



But then, isn`t that life? We colour everything and everyone with our own perception of the world until all we see are distorted mirrors...



... and so, I wonder... is this a failing shared by everyone... or is it just one other transposed personal idiosyncrasy?