The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

OMG this is so funny! And shocking! I`ve just discovered there`s a guy who`s completely obsessed by me! Really and truly! It`s horrifying! I mean he`s a friend and all, but I haven`t talked to him or seen him in MONTHS! Now suddenly, a friend of his is begging me to tell him what I feel for him cause he`s driving him crazy about me!



WTF IS GOING ON!!????



I JUST DON`T GET IT!!!



He even gave this guy a pic of me!!! MY GODDESS!!! WHAT THE HELLLLL????



And the worst thing is that now his friend is hitting on me too!!! Oh for heaven`s sake!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE????!!!

KORN - TEARJERKER



As I sit here frozen alone

Even ghosts get tired and go home

As they crawl back under the stones



And I wish there was something

Please tell me there's something better

And I wish there was something more than this

Saturated loneliness



And I wish I could feel it

And I wish I could steal it

Abduct it, corrupt it, but I never can

it's just saturated loneliness



Does the silence get lonely?

Does the silence get lonely?

Who knows?

I've been hearing it tell me

I've been hearing it tell me

Go home



Cause the freaks are playing tonight

They packed up and turned out the lights



And I wish there was something

Please tell me there's something better

And I wish there was something more than this

Saturated loneliness



And I wish I could feel it

And I wish I could steal it

Abduct it, corrupt it, but I never can

It's just saturated loneliness



And the bath waters cold

And this life's getting old



And I wish I could feel it

And I wish I could feel it

And I wish I could steal it

Abduct it, corrupt it

And I wish I could feel it

And I wish I could steal it

And I wish I could feel it

Abduct it, corrupt it

But I never can

I never can

Never Can

Never Can

Never Can

It is almost 5 in the morning and I just got home after a great night out. The best thing however is that I came home to an empty house. My parents have started to spend the night at my grandparents` house in order to help grandma take care of grandpa, who is partially handicapped. I barely see them anymore... and belive me, that is a VERY good thing. It`s as if I was living alone mainly... and I LOVE IT!



Anyway, I went to a BBQ at Chasmal`s house first. There were some people from her bf`s band whom I didn`t know, as well as Deathnitegrl, LadyBlood, and one of my best friends. The BBQ was very nice; Chasmal had prepared some very good food (btw THANKS CHAS!) and we just relaxed and talked. As usual, I slurped chicken satay and watermelon all over my WHITE top... lol, but anyway... after the BBQ we went out, said goodbye to LadyBlood who will be leaving for America in 3 weeks` time, and then me and DNG went clubbing.



Now, at 5am, I`m here once more, with a nice frozen beer and some crisps, singing to Nightwish in this wonderfully EMPTY house!



Oh why can`t life always be like this?

Have you ever been chatted up by anyone really ugly and stupid whom you didn`t have any idea how to get rid of? Ughhhh. Worse, I know he`ll be back. You know, the kind of guy to whom all you want to say... or best still, screech is 'FREAK FREAK FREAAAAAK'!!!!



Perhaps I am too polite to be clear sometimes. I hate rudeness and vulgarity with a vengeance, that`s why I end up acting as if everythings` ok most of the time I guess. Anyway, if he asks me out (which I know he will cause he almost kissed me... UNINVITED... this morning) is I AM NOT INTERESTED... FUCK OFF!!!!

OMG this is seriously the most hilarious and funny thread I`ve ever read on the rave. I usually don`t paste links in my journal, but I simply could not resist this. I laughed my head off for half an hour while reading this over and over again until finally I actually started crying with helpless giggles!!!



https://www.vampirerave.com/message.php?message=444681

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain

In the ice or in the sun it's all the same

Yet I feel my heart is aching

Though it doesn't beat it's breaking

And the pain here that I feel

Try and tell me it's not real

I know that I am dead

Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed

Sweet Goddess! Another thread denigrating H.I.M and saying that they don`t deserve all the popularity they have! Well, if they, and I quote 'don`t see what the fuss is all about', how come every month there are at least 5 threads against the band? Not to mention the threads in favor of it? It is the most talked about band on the site! Why talk about it so much if you 'don`t care about it one way or another' - just the fact that you mention it so much shows that you DO care!



I admit I adore H.I.M`s music, their style and their frontman Ville Valo. So what? I also hate Cradle of Filth and don`t see anything special in Children of Bodom - that doesn`t mean I write whole threads saying how lousy they are! Why should I? Some people like them and some don`t. Everyone`s different. I don`t need to prove that my way is the best way, or that because I dislike them everyone should feel the same way! I`m not a hypocrite!



As someone very famous once said, 'The only worst thing than being talked about is NOT being talked about'.



You don`t see any threads about Slayer or Metallica or even Children of Bodom do you? How come H.I.M almost always features in at least one of the top threads in the forums? And still, they continue to maintain that they 'do not care about them' - well then, I`m sorry for you dears... wakey wakey... you obviously write so much about them because YOU DO CARE!

Oh for Gods` sake, how cute can this guy get?!!?!!

I am really fed up of hypocritical know-it-alls. It seems every way I turn there`s someone who thinks he knows better than everyone else what is right or wrong. Someone whose sole interest is to ram his own ideas into my head, to lord it over me or to snob me. Well, I am NOT a weak willed idiot to be influenced by any fucken` overweight cat-loving mother fucker who comes along. Nor am I a girl who feels slighted because Miss Snot-Faced bitch thinks she`s Gods` gift to men. So, you can both of you go to hell for all I bloody care.



That said, I am not going to show my dislike for you. Not to you, not to anyone. I will continue to smile and look at you vapidly, because that is what you expect of me and therefore that is what you are going to get. You are beneath my notice and I am not going to make any effort to show you what I feel. You are not worth it. I am smarter than you and more complex and wondourous than you could possibly imagine. Your small minds cannot conceive me, so you only see what you want to see. Like everybody else. Whatever, I`m used to it by now. You are both of you ludicruous and ridiculous. One with his posing as a genius (and I don`t care that you published a damn book either) and the other believing she`s Aphrodite incarnate (more like vulgarity incarnate if you ask me).



So just SOD OFF!

So FINALLY it seems as if we`re having a Maltese VR meet-up! Yaya!



So, the ones who will be coming 100% are Me, DNG, Rowiel, Einar, Blacksoulangel and Gangrel14. I`ll tell Chasmal tonight and she`ll tell LadyBlood. I must also ask Gothressa and Helga (whom I`ve never met IRL yet). Then they`ll ask others. I`ll try to convince NonMortusEst69 and track down any others I remember.



Ooooh this is gonna be fun!

I am so bloody fed up of everything. I need SOMETHING to shake me out of this lethargic boredom. Comatose in a plastic-wrapped body; I look at everyone through a shield of confusion... will I ever feel; REALLY feel again?



Do I want to?



Again, that damn music video seems to be a reflection of my pathetically twisted thoughts. I am obviously speaking of Aerosmith`s 'Jaded'. And I really am... jaded.

V: There are no coincidences... only the illusion of coincidence.'



'Evey Hammond: Who are you?

V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask. '



V: The time has come for me to meet my maker and to repay him in kind for all that he has done.



I think I`ve fallen in love with another non-existent character from a movie... damn. Not surprisingly he wears a mask. Again! It is really stupid. I watched the movie yesterday and I - MUST - HAVE - IT! *sigh*



What is really surprising is how much heart and mind differ. First I was drooling all over Johnny Depp... *Swoon* and then I watched 'V for Vendetta' and I was like 'Oh Goddess... where IS this guy??' In the end he dies anyway. And we don`t even get to see his face (which is mutilated) the point is that his ideals, his hopes, the way he has of expressing himself... really got through to me. I`d prefer someone with a bit of salt in his head than a handsome guy like Depp any day.



If the guy was both smart and good looking, I would, of course, be much happier :)

People are crazy, perhaps because they are all unsatisfied. They walk in a straight line, one after the other, mindless puppets of a never-changing conformism. When someome shifts, they all shift to accomodate him.



People are lonely, and they try to console themselves through frivoulous and stupid means. Pretending nothing is wrong. We are all capitalists pretending to be rebels. Blind in our inconsistency.



Who are we really? Stripped of all the strictures imposed on us by society, does anything remain? Bombarded by images of what we are supposed to be, is anything left of the deep primitive core we were born with? Knowledge destroys innocence. I search for knowledge, but then I stop and ask myself, is it really worth it? What am I loosing each time I acquire some new nugget of thought?



The pointlessness of it all is simply astounding.

The world rushes by in the blinking of an eyelid. Is everything so frivolous? So empty? So frail? Would life be this terrible mixture of cruelty and beauty if it wasn`t hopelessly evanescent? Would I feel so changeable and terrified, confused and elated, awestruck and curious, if there was a glimmer of hope at the end of it all? Perhaps being a frustrated romantic posing as someone else is the only thing that keeps me alive, even though sometimes I`d give ANYTHING to be different. To be cold, unfeeling, unemotional. To be the self-effacing bitch my family thinks I am. Perhaps they are right. Perhaps they aren`t. The point is, I don`t even know myself. And I`m not sure knowing who I really am would be worth while.



Do I really care? Have I any more time to loose in stupid self-absorbed musings? Maybe the truth is that I think so much about it all, because no one else gives a damn about me.



I care only about myself because I only HAVE myself.



And I want to keep it that way.