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It is always surprising to me, that no matter how aware I seem to be about certain things, my mind always ends up playing tricks on me. Am I too melodramatic? Perhaps. Too dreamy? Assuredly. Too imaginative? Of course. However that STILL does not account for it.



*sigh*



Oh well. I am fed up of thinking lately. Maybe some good old-fashioned violence is all I need to clear the debris away... lol

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XDarklingX
10:35 Apr 20 2008

the brain never rests.according to me :)

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Having made a decision (sort of) I really really mean to keep it (THIS time around...) or so I promise myself. Anyway, having a keen insight into the human mind helps in hatching plans... even if I know this plan will ultimately backfire upon me - but that is what I want isn't it?



Hints and innuendoes...



... the Italians say it best 'chiodo schiaccia chiodo'...



I know it will be just pretense, at least on my part. However the important thing is that certain people will not see it as such. Once more, I will be termed 'fickle' and 'inconsistent' perhaps, however if in the long run, a certain attitude will help me make sure that someone I care for is not hurt again (yes, by me), I must do what I have to, in order for it not to be worse later on.



Gods I hate it when I have to hurt someone for other reasons that the simple pleasure of it. Necessity does take the fun out of things. Especially as I know that for Masque to take centre-stage, it will be M who will tear her heart apart one more time...

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ThePinja
19:16 Apr 17 2008

hmm....

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It is a fact universally acknowledged, that though we are often our own best friends, we are also unashamedly our own worse enemies. Though we are conscious of it, we always continue to hurt each other again and again. Telling ourselves we are merely being 'reasonable'. That we are doing it for 'our own good' in the long run. That it will pass as just one other thing which happened in our lives. That, as our parents used to tell us were we were younger and stupider (and that too is debatable), 'that which does not kill you, makes you stronger'...



BULLSHIT



As I learned some time ago, it is better to live in the now and let the future go to the bloody dogs...



... or is it?



Uncertainity is the order of the day. Let us eat of its body and blood. Consume it to the bone. Don't even dare to leave a crumb!



So, perennial headache apart... what new thing have I learnt this month?



That being emotionally frozen is still an unattainable virtue? I already knew that. That the mind is a rabid beast which tries to kill any notion of happiness? I knew that too. Perhaps what I learnt was that though I pride myself in never ever lying to myself... well I was lying... hehe (and THAT is mirthful laughter directed at my stupid self)...



So... live and let live I guess huh?



Yes we are our own worse enemies... only some people hurt themselves on the inside, while others cut themselves on the outside, in order to show what is inside as well... nouveau art? Or just plain good sense? In medieval times it was thought that too much passion/confusion was caused by too many fiery humours in the body. When that happened, the blood got overheated and so it needed to be purged from the body in order for the person to get well... our version of medieval cutters... perhaps there was something right in their theory...



... all I know is that surprisingly, it takes only 12 hours for certain parts of the skin to heal...

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Sinora
07:39 Apr 14 2008

That was an interesting peep into your mind.

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TheCountOfThirteen
21:10 Apr 15 2008

Good to find you writing in here again :)

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deathnitegrl
15:00 Apr 21 2008

When that happened, the blood got overheated and so it needed to be purged from the body in order for the person to get well... our version of medieval cutters... perhaps there was something right in their theory...



Really?



Then I should take a lot of blood outside my skin!

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