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What You Should Never Say During Sex23:24 Mar 02 2014
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Sometimes I'm the world's worst for sticking my foot in my mouth. I've even been known to say the absolute wrong thing during romantic moments. I was browsing recently and found a headline to an article that caught my attention because I knew it would probably be hilarious.
I figured I'd share in case anyone else needs to laugh. Feel free to add to the list if you can think of anything based on your own experiences. :P
~ 'Hold On, Let Me Get That.'
Really, you don't have a better time to answer your latest text message or email? If you're planning a romantic night with your partner, put the phone away.
~ 'I Need To Turn Off The Light. Now.'
Yes, being in the dark sets the mood, but randomly telling your partner halfway through sex you don't want to see his or her face is not cool.
~ 'Sorry, What's Your Name Again?'
Do your homework. It may not matter to everyone, but it's just common courtesy to remember the person's name you're sleeping with.
~ 'I'm Hungry.'
Sex is not the time to be thinking about a greasy slice of pizza. And if you are, don't ruin the mood.
~ 'Do You Mind If I Instagram This?'
Don't even think about it.
~ 'Can You Hurry Up?'
Not everyone works on the same schedule and telling someone to "hurry up" can make them feel super uncomfortable.
~ 'What IS That?'
Just don't do it.
~ 'My Ex Was Better.'
Not only is it rude, but bringing up your ex (at any time) is never a good idea.
~ 'Oh No, I'm Going To Fart.'
OK, we get it, it's natural, but it's the worst turn-off.
~ 'Does This Count As A Date?'
Can we say awkward?
~ 'You Have To Look Into My Eyes.'
It's a nice thought, but if you HAVE to do it, then it gets a little creepy.
~ 'What's That Smell?'
For anyone who is nervous or body conscious about having sex, commenting on the smell of their, um, odour isn't appropriate. If it's a regular issue, bring it up with your partner another time.
~ 'Are You Done Yet?'
People, this isn't a race. Go at your own pace and don't make your partner feel like they're doing a bad job.
~ 'Remember That Fight We Had Yesterday?'
Again, not the right time.
~ 'Can My Dog/Cat/Bird/Pet Watch?'
Unless both of you are cool with your pets in bed, bringing it up during sex might make things a little bit more uncomfortable.
~ 'Remember How I Said I Was On The Pill?...'
Uh, yeah. This probably won't end well.
~ 'Do I Look Fat?'
It's bad enough mentioning your partner's weight, but forcing them to make a comment on yours is even worse.
~ 'Sorry, I Fell Asleep For A Second.'
And yes, this is just as bad as, "Wake me up when you're done."
~ 'This Used To Be Fun.'
Way to kill the mood. Instead of making your partner feel inadequate, maybe you should try a new position to spice things up.
~ 'I'm Seeing Someone Else./Can We See Other People?'
If you're not actually trying to make your partner cry, don't try this.
Then of course there's always, 'Is it in yet?' and 'That's it?'
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