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I have been thinking a lot about my life. Like when I die what should be done with my body.

My pets who will take care of them. I need to get all in order. For that in case something windsup happening. I have a few things figured out but there is so much to deal with.

Well there is a time an a place for everything.

Know I just have to get it all straitened out.

I sit here wondering how long before I die.

Wondering when all of my suffering will end.

When sickness does not know me anymore.

Waiting for my body to heal, it is just to much some times. There are so many things I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to dance, but that was taken from me. Know my heart seems to be messing up.

I wonder what will mess up next.

It seems as though death wants me to suffer in pain.

But I want it to end. I do not like pain.

I do not like being weak. I have never been weak

except one other time. When I was told I had cancer.

So Here I sit waiting for something I am just not sure what.