Thoughts of giving up float through her mind.
She doesn't understand how it is that
They don't see her...
They don't acknowledge her...
They treat her as if she's something they can just walk through.
She cannot fathom how to live a life
That is not full of pain or regret.
A life where she matters...
A life in which she's more than a friend...
If only she could find that life...
Like she was in a movie...
One with a happy ending where she
wouldn't have to hide behind her mask of lies.
She's tired of acting like she's ok...
Especially when on the inside she's far from it.
Truthfully, she's so torn up inside,
you wouldn't be able to stand it if you knew.
If you only knew what she goes through
just to force a smile and a laugh.
A full Moon in a cloudless sky
Stares intently into my soul
Languidly examining my innermost thoughts
And knows of my black heart
It bestows upon me a rare gift
The gift of Death
Its ghostly luminescence
Lazily twirls in the air
Softly revealing the long hidden secrets
Of the flickering White and Blue Stars
And depositing Them onto my fingertips
I hear Their call and I obey
I hold the glow of the Moon in my palm
The solemn shimmer of Death
And Death walks beside me
In me
Of me
Lurking deep within my soul
For I am Death's Mistress
And wherever I may travel
Death runs swift at my heels
And We Two declare
None shall be spared this day
I gasped for my sanity as it rolled
like drops of blood from my finger tips
I gasped with desperation for air
as the walls came closer and closer
The air grew thinner and musty
And my insanity became ever more apparent
My eyes gave out as I watched the clouds scatter
In the sky laced with silver lining
The walls came crashing inward
and my body stood motionless as I witnessed the demise
I gasped for a breath of sanity
just one breath of reality
Darkness surrounds me.
I can feel that vast void,
All around me.
A cold nothingness,
From every direction.
Every place I go,
No matter how famliar,
I can never call home.
I'm an outcast to society.
Just a thought drifting in the wind.
It's been awhile,
Since I've enjoyed the sunlight.
I've forgotten the feeling,
Of being able to smile.
My world is nothing but Loneliness.
I still can't find what has
Been keeping me here.
For so long.
Green velvet finds me in my dreams,
Stripped turbulent and ripped at seams,
This carpet at the end will lie,
Emerald heaven, and mirrored sky.
Through traveled toes, subconscious streams curl,
Weariness emerges and worries unfurl.
Severing Silence unto a dreamer implores,
"What is forsaken; forgot in the moor?
Why, the song of the Wind will tell God of your tale,
You must know you are never alone in the vale.
For before you men have come and gone,
Soaking newfound peace to be risen with dawn."
I listen to the Silence that whispers to me,
Knowing truth and longing for a future memory. . . I turn.
Time hurries forward, to the hours of present,
The floor rises to my knees, and there sighs repentance.
Often dreams soar to that place in the vale,
Where minds do question and bound hearts do wail,
But now I recall, where Silence did play,
Distant pipes resounding in the yawn of new day.
Tears play with a dazzled smile,
Touching the fate of the heart.
Unfulfilled commitments ashamed,
Creating their own world of reality,
Lost in a maze of hazardous emotions,
To grasp only the realization of insanity.
Alone standing here,
No one can hear the screams of fear and
dread,
Longed for is safety -comprehension of normal,
Yet beauty sets in and drowns the soul,
With promises she can't ever keep.
Take away my eyes who see only delusions,
Destroyed and cut down by the unfeeling.
Create a peaceful world of balance,
To conquer a rising and falling perception.
Misunderstood, capturing emotions unheard of,
Acceptance denied,
Love ashamed abandons the sight,
Twisting, Turning, Puncturing the soul.
Drowning in emotions
Disappearing in my feelings
Fumbling for my way
Looking for the exit
Falling down again
Loosing my footing
Clawing the ground
Struggling to stay afloat
Screamin in silence
Calling for help
Sinking in quicksand
Submitting to the world
Gasping for breath
Failing to win
Fighting still
Tumbling into shame
Hiding from reason
Crying out loud
Warning those close
Hating them there
Cursing everything
Drowned by emotions
A perpetual moon glows silently on a corrupted society, as an endless array of soulless ungodly creatures spring forth from the depths of hell to prey on the unsuspecting proprietors of an unwiling earth.
With each breath of forbidden passions, a solitude flow of unforgettable feelings rushes about a world caked with chaos and deception.
All while a childs inner demonic intuition lashes out onto another and there in lies the lives of two lonely lovers kept apart by nothing more than distance...
The night falls in a heavy suffocating cloak, cold and alone are we.
The emotion for which you lust flares once, then dies, smothered by a velvet nothingness.
All hope must die, your soul thrives no more.
How could you not understand?
Our dark emotions surround us, crying, we are fallen.
The world slowly fades from me.
I'm starting to cease to be.
I always ask myself the same question.
I'm always on the verge of my confession.
In a quiet deafening explosion,
A drop of water is lost in an ocean.
My essence is being erased.
My imprint on the world is defaced.
In a justified moralistic,
The lines of your sanity begin to blur.
I'm everywhere at once, outside, inside.
But I was never really real, I lied!
I come apart and go back together.
I'm gone, but here I am forever.
I'm just another entity in your mind.
I'm just your reality undefined.
This anger is boiling.
Festering inside me.
It wants to erupt.
But it will remain hidden.
Away from prying eyes.
Hidden deep within my heart.
Away from everyone.
Painful memories.
Lies.
Betrayal.
No dealings.
Just forget it.
The anger will remain.
But my face won't show.
My heart won't tell.
I'm fine.
Perfectly fine.
Miss Cheerful.
As always.
A weight falls heavily upon me -
A steady pull inside my brain.
In one room I seek love and understanding -
In another I purge the guilt and pain.
My guilt never leaves.
The pain only deepens.
My life is a wild rotation from one room to the other,
Locked in a ceaseless circle of torment -
A game of chess I cannot win.
I stand up, throat on fire, head spinning, heart pounding;
Begging for an end, any end, to this hell.
I gaze into the mirror, wiping my mouth,
Wondering who I have become;
A drawn and pale face, dull, expressionless eyes.
I run my hands through my hair
Hoping it will quiet the screams in my head -
But it doesn't, and tomorrow the game will start again.
Simplicity,
the teardrops falling,
acid from your eyes
I lie awake and count the seasons
of your shadowed mind.
Your mystery’s consuming,
your black and white surrounds,
decides
Your consequences filling me
tell me you tried to hide again.
Lurking in your deadly night
of poisoned wells and shadowed halls
I tried to penetrate the Mask of Hope
and I prayed you’d be alright.
But then I saw you,
you broke the silence with your pain
Now you lay broken,
you fell apart and nothing stays.
Can you look far away
from this promising breath,
And could you teach me of
your fearless insanity?
Have you ever thought
of anything more then this,
Your bleeding bottle,
your one-a-day existence?
I taste your memories;
you know the rain can’t fill your days.
This drizzling pattern complicates
and erases your obsessive ways
In this existence.
In this simplicity.
COMMENTS
-