I Am The Wolf08:04 Nov 25 2010
Times Read: 513
Oddly, I think I was never meant to be a human…Most human concepts confuse or bore me. It seems to me as if I were supposed to be an animal-a dog of some kind-possibly a wolf. Why a wolf? I’ve always been fascinated with these beautiful creatures. They really are just like me.
Misunderstood creatures, wolves: it is assumed they are unfriendly, aggressive, killers or loners. However, the truth is that they tend to shy away from things that are unfamiliar to them. I am the same way. People perceive me as being mean or antisocial because, like the wolf, I shy away from unfamiliar people, things, places or events. I have been ridiculed in my lifetime-this is what causes my shyness. Wolves are also ridiculed by man, which is why they run from the civilized world.
My personality is more reserved and quiet. I am a friendly individual who loves to be around those who are or have become like family to me. Such is the nature of a wolf pack: they stick together and they don’t take to outsiders very well. I am not opposed to others. I simply feel safer and more secure with my “pack” so to speak. Wolves, likewise, feel safe with the pack they associate as family. They do also fear other wolves. They fear being ranked lower, so they strive to stay at the top. I fear being unimportant. I fear that no one will care about me. I have experienced being not liked and being ignored, and so I’ve had the sensation of being threatened by another person who becomes friends with my friends. I fear that I will no longer be wanted or needed, and that the new friend will become more interesting or important than me.
While wolves are pack oriented and have a sense of family ties and friendship, they can also grow agitated quickly and become aggressive or vicious. I do get easily annoyed, but I haven’t had to show the aggressive side of me for a long time. No one has dared to push that envelope. The thoughts in my head though, are oddly wolf like. When I’m angry and I feel like I really hate someone or something, I wish I could do a lot more than just tell the world off.
I act like a dog in ways that I’m sure are weird to others, but comfortable to me. I can lay in the grass on my stomach, my arms under me, and be perfectly comfortable. I do-and this is weird, I have to admit-growl at things when I’m agitated…Only when I’m alone though. Screaming makes me want to kill something…This reminds me of the prey drive that most predators experience. This is why small children annoy me, along with girls’ screams. Screamo music ticks me off, too, which is why I don’t listen to it. Things like that stir an urge to rip something apart-preferably whatever is making the noise. That‘s not always a good thing.
I love the moon. It seems to call to me every night. It seems to sing with the knowledge and presence of life and beauty and magic. I wish I could call back to it…To let it know I am its follower among the nights when I long to run through the fields and forests, chasing its luminescent glow.
I love nature. I love the woods and running and peace and tranquility. I hate cities, I’m not a people person. I would much rather live in a small town or in the country and hang out with a few people rather than an entire group. My dream house would be a cabin in the middle of a forest, by water, secluded within dense trees, far away from the world that seems unwelcoming to me. I like to be noticed, to be talked to and cared about and loved. However, I prefer to be by myself a lot of the time. I prefer to not be bothered by the drama of human life and civilization. I carry much love and kindness in my heart, yet momentary solitude works for me.
Such is the nature of the wolf…
COMMENTS
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nitewulf
08:47 Nov 27 2010
Very well written you Sum up the Wolf Spirit within well I also have many Similar experiences and feelings Travel well in your life journey and we will see each other around