The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I don’t want to get excited. I always get excited in the long, silences. The slowing down of the intervals of your apparent madness. It’s a strong word madness.
That maybe just maybe you have finally understood that in this lifetime we just can’t be.
You never really did know me. Not really.
You spoke to this part of me nonetheless. I still don’t know what part that is or was but it is always undeniable how you stir that part of me.
Yes I deny it because I know it, you would lead me to ruin. I have enough conscience to know where a path with you would lead.
Is it wrong to hold on to life so tightly? I often wonder what would happen if it, I did truly allow myself to surrender to that thing that stirs within me.
Something in me holds me from moving towards you. Yes admittedly it’s fear. It’s not fear of you to be clear. You feel as familiar to me as my next breath. As though you are some missing piece of me that’s funny to me because I don’t believe in that. I am already a whole complete person but yet there’s You. You know my hidden desires. The ones I would never tell anyone even the one who should know them.
I wonder what it would be like to be “that” care free again. No one would even remotely know the full meaning of that without knowing some dark, deep things about me. Sure I’m not as dark and dangerous as some but the propensity is there inside us all. It’s inside of me. I feel it everyday I fight back against it.