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Where do I begin....



A few days before me and my wife's anniversary she told me something that I couldn't handle. She told me she cheated on me the first month we were together, with her children's father (the asshole I already hated so much). No one can Imagine the pain I felt or the anger.



I snapped, I think I really lost my mind. I fought my wife and sliced her up. We talked about things and I calmed down, on her part. A few days after that it was our anniversary and I was at her house. Too make a long story short, he came there to drop off the kids and when I saw him, well I saw red. I hit him with a metal and leather belt and then next thing I know the pocket knife was in his side.



I turned myself in and spent 3 months in jail. That was in the end of july, I've been home since the end of Oct.



I knew I had some issues and maybe I am a little crazy. Truth is I don't regret shit, they deserved it and more. I love my wife so much and it's not like I didn't fuck up the first month we were together also so I forgive her now. We are slowly getting things back in order. I still have flash backs some times when I see or hear things that reminds me of it and I get mad and say things that hurt her but I'm trying to stop that. I want to move on but fear it will be hard since I still want that asshole dead and I have to deal with him in our life because of the kids. That's something that will take a long time to get over or at least calm down about.



She says it happened because he was still beating on her and she was afraid of him...You know that story women say. Not that I don't believe her but it still doesnt matter because she lied to me about it for 2yrs so it makes me wonder if she did it because she wanted to or cause of fear. I guess I will never know.