The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

i don't know who i am sometimes... and it feels like when i start to understand myself something gets in the way or something changes or something doesn't happen and i am back to trying to figure out who i am again, i guess thats part of life i just wish it was more stable more definite things so i know, yes or no not well perhaps or could be or maybe... i hate that word maybe, i use it do much and it isn't in anyway shape or form an answer to anything. now understand that i am a very lonely person... not by choice i have tons of friends... but when it comes down to the wire non really care about me or think about me (so i guess they aren't really friends) hell not one of my friends have even remembered my birthday since i was 12 lol anyway i am alone and sometimes feel like i have no one to kind of ask to help me see who i am... i mean i guess i have people i could talk to but i kind of don't want to pester them with silly questions (well questions they may find silly) and you know it is my life and no one can hold my hand forever... just wish there was a sign a definite sign that just points my in my guided direction helps me to find who i am too bad lifes not that easy ever ever god i hate myself sometimes well i just had to vent... to who ever reads which i don't think many would so ha its like i am talking to myself will putting it down feels better not gonna lie even if its the equivalent to talking to myself call me crazy