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So, I been dealing with a big problem since my first memory started. I'm not sure where I learned it, or how it happened, but it worse with age. I have to admit I'm very satisfied, but others, however are concerned. Ana came back to give me a visit after two years of being ok. For those reading this that don't know what that is, it's annorexia. I started to get better when I was pregnant mainly b/c I knew a baby was living off me and I had to feed it. I was even doing good a year after. But idk what happened I just lost interest in eating. It depresses me to eat and miserable since I can't taste the food. Theres no special meaning behind this entry lol. But since everything I do is monitored for weight gaining reasons, I need to get some stuff off my chest without them seeing. This will probably end up killing me, but I don't care if I look good and happy...

i have to put this in the beginning b/c others may call me psycho...this is NOT about anyone I'm just writing. Get off me! Haters!



I think about him every hour, minute, and second of everyday. He seems to consume my thoughts. Like a good dream gone bad. I seem to always be wondering if and when I will ever talk to him again. Nothing is promised, nothing is expected, nothing is guaranteed. That's what will draw me near. And this he knows. He's my own brand of drugs and I can tell you how much I love it. This I will have withdrawls from and refuse to give up. Maybe one day I will be wrapped ever so tightly in his arms. Until then, my dreams will have to do. Dreaming of him is all I can do. My heart has a pain that I can not live without. I will not live without.

Love of mine some day you will die

but I'll be close behind

I'll follow u into the dark



no blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

just our hands clasped so tight

waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide

that they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on thir vacancy signs



If there's no one beside u

when ur soul embarks

then I'll follow u into the dark



In catholic school as vicious as roman rule

I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black

and i held my tounge as she told me

"son fear is the heart of love"

so i never went back



if heaven and hell decide that they both r satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs



if theres no one beside u when ur soul embarks

then ill follow u into the dark



you and me have seen everything to see

from bangkok to calgary

and the soles of your shoes are all worn down

the time for sleep is now

its nothing to cry about

cause well hold each other soon

the blackest of rooms



if heaven and hell decide

that they both are satisfied

illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs



if theres no one beside u when ur soul embarks

then ill follow u into the dark



Along time ago two girls decided to be more than friends, but sisters. As sisters we decided we'd do anything forneach other and never betray. This was our song. We will always follow each other into the dark.