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When I was 16 my paternal grandpa came back to Texas because he was sick and all his family is here. Eventually he was put into a nursing home where he was being watched all day and night. We went to visit him and we all greeted him and said hi.



When I looked at him,I just started to cry.My grandpa was fine,he was talking with my dad,but I could just tell that my grandpa was going to die..like he was ready.



We said our goodbyes and then we went home. My cousin called my dad not too long afterwards and told my dad that grandpa had died.



My dad came to tell me and my brother and I already knew. I didn't want to tell any of them because either they wouldn't believe me or they were going ask me why I didn't say something maybe I could of stopped it.



Either way I never told my family that because... I wasn't sure how they would react to it. I avoided visiting sick residents because I'm scared to know if I know they are going to die..

I had a dreamless sleep last night, I really like dreamless nights because my dreams scare me sometimes.



I hung out with my mom for a little bit and I gotten a Star Sapphire ring and a Indigo Lantern ring from the local comic bookstore.



Nothing really fascinating, but I must say I am extremely addicted to Vampire Rave already.

Its not unusual(hee hee insert Carlton dance here) for my dream self to always be in some sort of peril. I am always in some sort of danger and when I try to scream,yell,or even say a word absolutely nothing comes out. I always end up victimized and when I struggle I'm never strong enough.My dream self has no strength whatsoever. My arms and legs feel so limp and numb.



It always worries me, because I fear that in times when I really am in danger I won't be able to save myself. I'm very informed of ways to avoid danger,or escape from an attacker,etc,but these dreams always bug me.



My most recent dream was of my dream self slipping in and out of consciousness and at the same time I'm trying to get this man off of me. I can't even tell who he is my vision is so blurred. I tried to kick him but my legs felt limp and numb and he just pinned me down and victimized me.



While I am dreaming I feel as if I'm being penetrated and I know that it wasn't anyone actually doing this to me. My dog likes to sleep in my bed and she's very possessive so she wouldn't hesitate to bark and wake me up.



I want to say that my dreams are trying to tell me something because I wouldn't want anything like this or any of my other dreams to come true. The dream that I was making out with Robert Downey Jr. can come true though,that I won't mind. :D