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so much of wakin up in a good mood. man y i have 2 babysitt all the time. :( i could b partyin or somethin. well i guess somethings have a purpose in happenin. Man soooooooooo much of a wonderful day now wat i'm goin 2 do on my spare time. I need a little freedom. i am so movin out when i'm turnin 18. next year here i go. ^_^ wat 2 do wat 2 do.............................?

i have skool 2morrow - now dats not good- and i was finally gettin some sleep. :(

oh well i guess 2morrow something wonderis would happen but wat. maybe meet a new friend or something.- i notice dat been happenin a lot each day i met a new friend . ^_^

okay lately i haven't been sleepin lately. between lots on my mind or something. i just can't sleep anymore. it still feels like i lost something important 2 me, i don't kno. all i know i'm not feelin 2 good. i wouldn't call it stress but somethin else. u kno dat feelin u get when u lost something and u try so hard 2 remember it but u can't . it like a lost memory of who u once were . u kno i use 2 be the happy, cheerful kinda kid. who never let nothing get 2 me. just always smiling and wishin the world could b happy. but i soon realize dat the world never was happy cuz of some of the people livin in it

thinkin backin in my past time i can say i did change. better - dat i'm not 2 sure. i let my emotions take over me. u know when u hold so much emotion inside and then u let it all out. nervous break down. dat wat happens 2 me. . all the emotion- my angure, my sadness. all dat just rushes out of me. my whole world fall apart 2 the point i get stress or something. c everytime i'm with my family i can't speak my mind cuz they take it the wrong way. but wat surprise me is when my grandpapa saw me sittin down by myself - he known dat something was wrong, dat something was botherin me.- now dat he has 2 be the 1st person who notice dat behind my fake smile. he known i was sad and hurting from the inside.- then he said dat it seem dat i am searchin 4 something- he rite about dat. and dat i lost something- yeah he is rite again. awwwww it brought a small tear in my eyes he was so close from findin out wat was wrong. ( now none of my other family they don't really pay any mind 2 me)

okay yesterday now dat was odd. talkin about throwin a party. wow i had fun. ^_^ just something isn't mint 2 b told (heheheh) now today i'm tired as hell i haven't sletp in 3 days . i have 2 b in a cold room 2 b able 2 sleep. ^_^ but hey i can daydream u know. but i still think i'm missin something really important. but wat? the other reason i can't go 2 sleep cuz i always have lots on my mind. odd - not really. its just so many question i have yet 2 solve. - hm. wat will happen next

man, school is almost here. i really don't kno wats goin 2 happen. Hm........ this goin 2 be a new story 2 start off wit. u kno dat feelin u get on ur first time at a new school. don't kno anyone. u would sit there all shy like-(get the picture). bored out of ur mind or just wonderin wat 2 do first. all ready wantin 2 get out u look at the clock and wish time would hurry up or somethin. wishing the school cot on fire. ( awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.) but still even if u daydream somethin bad happen 2 the school nothin would change. unless u get in a fight with someone u don't even kno-now dat i'll would b so piss off (not really) cuz i would think its pointless 2 fight 4 something u didn't do. but hey its me. - so nice 4 my own good. :P ..

COMMENTS

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LeopardGoddess
06:26 Aug 09 2008

My daughter thinks watching fights in school is exciting, however if on the end of one of them, it's not so cool. lol I have had my close calls in the past but my mouth always got me out of everything. :D

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so far my heart been confuse on wat do it wants. i can't even hear it anymore. its like i never had one. i haven't been myself lately. i know dat i'm stronger than dat. i use 2 handle anything, but now i don't know. i gave up on so much and i kno dat i should. deep down i'm strong. But yet i feel so helps. i blame myself 4 dat. i hate bein stress out when i kno i shouldn't b. i'm better than dat. its just, i guess dat there r somethings i can't handle alone. i just don't like 2 ask 4 help cuz theres something i just have 2 solve myself. okay i got my heart broken.- some people just don't care. but i have 2 understand dat .ike isn't a easy thing 2 go through. even tho i wish i never fallen in love becuz of it. but hey dat don't means i give up. i just need a little encouragement , and a little faith in love.. and just maybe my heart will soon b healed from its pain.

another day which have started. wake up, tke a shower, bush my teeth, eat , and relax. Then clean up and babysitt. yeah...... the same thing over and over. so much of hope myself 4 a good day. now today is a okay morning. birthdays comin u soon so dat means i have 2 go shop 4 some things 4 my family and friends. but hey i don't get anything 4 my birthday. i guess bcuz its another day 2 me. after i do all dat. i'll sit in my room and draw, read a book, or maybe go some where after words.

but hey i never have a goo day tho. here in cincinnati ohio i only have 2 people who r my friends everyone else i know r family. so i'll be fine . later -

have u ever wish 2 find dat rite person.

To really find dat one person dat can change ur life and make it better.

someone who u can trust, love,- let just say ur life-mate for an example. fit ur every needs, and desires. ^_^. awww..........

now as u all kno dat everyone have someone in the world who is mint 2 be with. it just takes 2 freakin long just 2 find dat rite person. u would wait which seems like 4ever.- (dats bad)

but as 4 me i have no time left- my heart has been broken 2 the point i've became loveless. i gave up on love in hope so never get it broken again. so............ wat i can tell u is 2 never give up on love its important trust me on this. u mint b hurtin inside but look there is someone out there 4 u. just don't give up