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I wont be on later today, it's Halloween I have scaring to do.

They send me away to find them a fortune

A chest filled with diamonds and gold

The house was awake

With shadows and monsters

The hallways they echoed and groaned



I sat alone, in bed 'til the morning

I'm crying, "They're coming for me"

And I tried to hold these secrets inside me

My mind's like a deadly disease



I'm bigger than my body

I'm colder than this home

I'm meaner than my demons

I'm bigger than these bones



And all the kids cried out,

"Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

Goddamn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?



I paced around for hours, on empty

I jumped at the slightest of sounds

And I couldn't stand the person inside me

I turned all the mirrors around



I'm bigger than my body

I'm colder than this home

I'm meaner than my demons

I'm bigger than these bones



And all the kids cried out,

"Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

Goddamn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?



I'm well acquainted

With villains that live in my bed

They beg me to write them

So they'll never die when I'm dead



And I've grown familiar

With villains that live in my head

They beg me to write them

So I'll never die when I'm dead



I'm bigger than my body

I'm colder than this home

I'm meaner than my demons

I'm bigger than these bones



And all the kids cried out,

"Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

Goddamn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?



And all the kids cried out,

"Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

Goddamn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?



Halsey - Control

Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise

Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised

And now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it

Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it





I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They’ve got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle





Oh, all these minutes passing, sick of feeling used

If you wanna break these walls down, you’re gonna get bruised

And now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it

Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it





I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They’ve got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle





There's no use crying about it

There's no use crying about it

There's no use crying about it

There's no use crying about it





I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They’ve got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut



Straight for the castle



Halsey - Castle

Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?

Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?

Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?

Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?



Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?

Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?

Do the people whisper ‘bout you on the train like me?

Saying that "you shouldn't waste your pretty face" like me?





And all the people say

"You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline"





(Oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, oh)

I think there’s a fault in my code

(Oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, oh)

These voices won’t leave me alone

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold





Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me?

Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?

Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?

Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?





And all the people say

"You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline"





(Oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, oh)

I think there’s a fault in my code

(Oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, oh)

These voices won’t leave me alone

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold





Halsey - Gasoline

My demons are begging me to open up my mouth

I need them, mechanically make the words come out

They fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce

Ignite me, licking up the flames they bring about





I sold my soul to a three-piece

And he told me I was holy

He’s got me down on both knees

But it’s the devil that's trying to





Hold me down, hold me down

Sneaking out the back door, make no sound

Knock me out, knock me out

Saying that I want more, this is what I live for



Hold me down, hold me down

Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown

Knock me out, knock me out

Saying that I want more, this is what I live for





Selfish, taking what I want and call it mine

I’m helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine

They rush me, telling me I’m running out of time

They shush me (shh), walking me across a fragile line





I sold my soul to a three-piece

And he told me I was holy

He’s got me down on both knees

But it’s the devil that's trying to





Hold me down, hold me down

Sneaking out the back door, make no sound

Knock me out, knock me out

Saying that I want more, this is what I live for



Hold me down, hold me down

Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown

Knock me out, knock me out

Saying that I want more, this is what I live for





Hold me down now

Hold me down now

Hold me do-o-o-o-own





I sold my soul to a three-piece

And he told me I was holy

He’s got me down on both knees

But it’s the devil that's trying to





Hold me down, hold me down

Sneaking out the back door, make no sound

Knock me out, knock me out

Saying that I want more, this is what I live for



Hold me down, hold me down

Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown

Knock me out, knock me out



Saying that I want more, this is what I live for



Halsey - Hold Me Down

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and might check my inbox. I am like a zombie, I might give you barely a reply but when I'm up and about I'll respond better.

So I finally know is a HTML code to directly add your image in the comment box when rating someones profile, I messed up three times before I got the right one.



So, sorry to the ones that got the link directly.



(3) people.

So, I plan to change the theme/person on my page every week. I also plan to update my journal personal entries and poems every other day to everyday.



The stories take time but I plan to put maybe two or three in a month.

Sooo, I finally added a few pictures up of me. I'm sooo nervous because I always wonder how I look to others. I keep checking back to see the views and I keep forgetting every time I refresh the page it counts me looking too.



Ughhh!....

Said person wrote:



This post will piss a lot of people off and I honestly do not care, just got out of an argument and I am posting my last thought publicly.



Christianity is one of the biggest scams in the world. The Bible has been re-written numerous times to fit the agendas of the era. Jesus is wrongly portrayed in his imagination of what he looked like. It's been shoved down everyone's throats with a false belief of fear of something greater than the person who Christianity is about. Oh not to mention that the bible is man made, not divine by any means. It's just a leash to control the populace my any means necessary. The man Christians worship is a Jewish man from Israel. Whom of which the Jewish do not believe is any form of deity for any matter. If this man was all powerful as the Christians say he is, then why do the Jewish not worship one of their own people? I am not anti religion, I am a materialist. I do not doubt that this man existed once upon a time, but the "powers" he is said to have had, is questionable.



Prove to me that I am wrong.









I wrote:



All the bible is to people is a faith system at the end of the day. Faith to get them through their life and ordeals. I am no saint, I am no all knowing human being so divine that I would try to break down someones belief system. Let people believe what they want, what you're doing is fine but people rebel when you try to destroy their faith or poke holes in it. Focus on you, I myself am agnostic. I don't claim there is a most high or isn't. I just live my life humbly and try to do right by all.



Faith is what you make, religion is what you believe in.

All I've been hearing is Trump this and Trump that and Trump is crazy and fascist. Mass deportations, over militarization, mass incarceration. Most of the crap that Trump proposed, Clinton has already fought for, lobbied for, voted for, or pushed into law... this current election cycle is a literal example of lesser evil It reminds me of that vote or die episode of South Park where everyone had to choose between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Except now we have to choose between an antisemitic misogynist billionaire who doesn't know what he's doing and a Wall Street/Corporate funded egotistical cackling cunt of a war monger who DOES know what she's doing.



Luckily, I can still vote green party. Their platform is something worth supporting.

I don't know why people have to bring others down, what pleasure do they get from that? I don't see that ever helping my soul. I feel good when I can help someone and bring about a positive image in their life. I hope to become someones reason to push on and keep doing what they love, maybe it's just my heart being too big again?



Maybe.

I've always asked this question when I choose to delete certain people out my life "Why do I feel lighter?" Like a weight has been lifted off my heart/mind, I no longer wonder.



If people do nothing but weigh you down with their presence, it's no wonder that once you cut that person out you start to feel better. So with that stated, if you feel heavy in your heart and mind about someone; rather if they're weighing you down with their own issues, guilt and problems. Do yourself a favor, cut them out your life.



You may feel lighter and more at peace with yourself. We don't all know this but when you have friends, you take on their emotions, feelings and burdens subconsciously. So cleanse your mind and treat yourself better by cutting the people that no longer grow you, support you and encourage you to do better.

A rant with some advice:



To me; character makes the person. Not their gender, their sexual orientation, salary or anything that "self entitles" someone because of their success. You can be a male/female/ gender queer for all I care. You can be gay, straight, bi, etc and I would still not care. You can be the richest male/female I ever met and I would not give you much thought. I can only speak for myself, not everyone else. When we start speaking for every gender, every sexual orientation etc in my opinion is where we fail.



Start worrying about yourself, speak for yourself, comment for one (you) not all. In my opinion, you come off as a hurt sheep and it's unbecoming, unattractive and I frown upon it. Nothing turns me off more personality wise than a female/male not being able to speak for him/her self. What puts the cherry on the cake is someone who tries to speak for everyone.

People change, just like the world changes. How does anyone know this? Logic, life, facts, science. Nobody was made to stay the same, if you don't believe this, I can't help you and no one else can. Though yes change starts with self and if a person truly wishes to change they have to take their own steps. In real life (online) people make mistakes, you make mistakes and have done wrong to people. Don't lie, you're human, you've done evil. Rather it be to your own blood, friends or a complete stranger. It's not right but I'm sure the last thing you want is for people around you to hold these mistakes over your head.



Someone who is trying to change does not need anyone holding their past over their heads. Rather it was a week ago, a day ago, someone can choose to change instantly. So, if someone is making the effort to change, let them and don't scold them and put them down by holding their past mistakes over their head like a boulder. Like the old saying goes: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say nothing at all'. If you are not encouraging someone, you stand in no position to bring a negative light over them.



We mess up when we try to take authority into our own hands. Shaming, harassing and holding someones past over their heads is not okay and it's wrong. You can hold your own grudges and hate a person until they die and long after but I encourage you not to attempt to make others hate them, dislike them or look upon them in a negative light. It makes you look like an oppressor and no better than the wrong the person did.



Two wrongs don't make a right, learn how to communicate respectfully

You have many mask, though that's an understatement. You hide yourself behind a facade, to please anyone you meet. You cover up who you truly are to blend in with the crowd. You're scared, easily broken, easily shattered and a coward. You don't have any self confidence and you hide behind others.



I could continue this list and write down everything about you. The truth is, you're easy to read. I know your type, so very well. It's scary even, when I see you breathing in the same room as me, using words that I know are lies that you speak daily. Have you told lies so long that they have become you?



I look back on a simpler time where people told the truth and was honest. Are those times as extinct as the pride you once had? Are you so broken that you must lie to seem important?



I have nothing really good to say about you, maybe that's for the best. I can't really lay down to rest these emotions of pain, pity and shame. The shame that you are still liked by the ones who are too blind to see your lies.



I'll wait, I'll give it time. They say what's did in the dark soon comes to the light; for your sake I hope the darkness stays covered over that world you have built your ideal fairy tale on. Let it cover you and become you because once it's gone it will only shatter you.