I'm barely holding on. Each day I take at a time. I can't relax, I can't forgive. I'm waiting for the hellish nightmare to return. I hate him. I never hurt him in any way. I was nice. I was a good person. But in the end that didn't matter. He wanted to see me hurt. He wanted to rip new wounds and watch me slowly bleed out. Now there's no peace within my soul. He took everything from me and I want him to pay for what he has done.
My family set me up with a blind date. The date was so boring and I couldn't get past his huge teeth that looked similar to a horse. I went to the bathroom and snuck out of the restaurant. Then found myself walking home sticking to the shadows and crying. I'm so far past damaged I couldn't even just use the guy for sex. I desperately want sex, and to be touched. This is the longest ive been single. How do I fix myself? How can I try to find someone to trust to be with?
Is this my life now? Cowering in the shadows like a coward? Is this what love does? Breaks someone to pieces?
Small victory, one side of the cage is broken. But I'm uneasy. I feel like something bad is going to happen now that I got a small victory.I am not free. I am still in pain. But I'm trying to remain strong.
I go to sleep and I fall into a nightmare. I wake up to just a different version of the nightmare.
I still have broken problems inside of me to fix. How could I have been so blind to all my brokeness?
COMMENTS
-