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And there it is the proverbial dropping of the other shoe. How is it that I have a job and am following dr orders but it looks like once more I'm fighting not to lose my home? Grrrrr i fucking hate those fuckers.

If I have blocked you on any social media platform don't be like sob2 and create more profiles to try and talk to me. You won't get my attention. If I blocked you there is good reason why I did so. Accept the fact that the door to my world is permanently closed.

In other news I had another dream of ex coming to visit me. I am not sure why all of a sudden I keep dreaming about him. We haven't spoken in years. It's weird but a nice surprise.

Things here are doing ok I suppose. I'm stressed about making rent but other than that I am enjoying my time off.

How do I explain that weird things happen around me? Lol none of the other lies are really working. I keep insisting but I don't think anyone is really buying it anymore...

I didn't make any new years resolutions this year. I figured if I can continue to grow as a person that was good enough for me. I stopped caring if the world acvepts me or not I just only want happiness. I want to be happy with who I am. My new years was spent quiet no wild parties for me. I outgrew going to parties to be honest.

Things are doing ok. My dreams jave started happening again after years of nothing. So far they aren't nightmares just weird patched together dreams. I'm healing rather slowly. More slowly than I am used to and its frustrating. I finished a new story and working on another. I think after these projects I might start writing on my Eli the vampire series. But only time will tell where my muse decides to go.

I reached out to some family members and was awarded with silence. I guess me going off the radar pissed them off. More bridges burnt. I'll just stick to my quiet life if that's the case. I don't want trouble or drama.

In doing my bills for the month I found out that somehow my phone was paid twice last month so I don't owe again til feb. The strange thing is I don't remember paying it twice. Hopefully it wasn't done in my sleep and Thats why i ended up short by the end of last month. I am usually pretty punctual when it comes to my bills. I know I should lopk at it as a blessing in disguise but it's hard. I am now stuck with do I go ahead and pay it again now? Lol adulting. It sucks.

Rather than use what little data I have left i should wrap up this entry. I miss having internet.