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Our final days in Amsterdam were wondrous -- the Rijksmuseum, a gourmet canal boat dinner, and lots of walking and hanging out in cool places.



Our hotel was located high on the right outer labia in what used to be an office building, and our room had huge windows overlooking a canal. The westward view guaranteed full sunlight for any afternoon lovemaking that might have transpired.



The hotel also offered free porn, a free minibar (yum) and a very deep bathtub. The minibar and the bathtub were wonderful, but I was disappointed by the porn.



For me, the most erotic element of lovemaking is the female orgasm. Properly orchestrated, this is more exciting and explosive than anything that a man can do. I understand that it may be difficult to make this happen in front of a camera and crew. But for the love of God, the men weren't doing anything that might even plausibly cause an orgasm, and the women did not even attempt to fake any orgasms. I now feel sorry for all Europeans.



It's not that American porn is great. It's not. But the European stuff was so pathetic that it actually turned off both Mrs. Luke and me.



Now I am back to the grind of day to day life and the stricter rules that apply when we are not on vacation. The plane trip back was the final highlight, and now I get to pay the price for my vacation in the form of jet lag and working like a dog to catch up. And there will be no more daily facensitten.



Here are my final travel ratings for the Netherlands:



Food: A

Scenic beauty: A-

Ambience: A

Beautiful Dutch women with incredible eyes: A

All other Dutch women: A-

Hotel rooms that provide superior venues for facensitten: A

European porn: F-

Confusing tram system: C- (had it totally figured out by the day we left, but should not have taken so long)

Museums: B+

Mrs. Luke: A+

COMMENTS

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Bloodmother
19:54 Jul 17 2009

Facensitten has never been so well-written.

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LibidinousLuke
20:00 Jul 17 2009

I write from the perspective of the facensittee, but the facensitter did seem to enjoy it.

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therealthing
05:44 Jul 19 2009

Sounds like you had fun, except for the bad porn,

but you can't win them all, LOL.

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winterdarkmoon
16:18 Jul 19 2009

sounds good to me and well f**k their porn...lmao...I want to go cause I have a Hunny there and well could make my own porn with Him..*smiles*



Glad You had a good time other than the porn

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EntwinedxHeart
00:00 Jul 20 2009

I am delighted you enjoyed your beautiful vacation...It inspires such wonderful recollections, these are memories you must keep within your heart when you are stressed out at work....



Aslong as they are not erotic thoughts...that could make work a little difficult lol...



xScarlettx

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marijuana420guy
08:42 Jul 24 2009

LOL True Yep what about the coffee houses Those are Bomb too !! A + For Sure!!!!

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EssVengeance
12:45 Aug 06 2009

Yeah indeed, the porn is quite bad lol

Though Dutch people always complain about sex in American movies cos 9 out of 10 times they keep their clothes on

Amsterdam is indeed a nice place to go when on vacation, I've been there alot

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lestatsqueen
08:01 Aug 07 2009

ahaa.......looks u hd gr88 fun der........leave d porno stuff..u gtta ba TURN ON for d females der...causin dem d finest orgasm..hehe......





*DRINK FROM ME AND LIVE FOREVER....

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When we were planning this trip, I wanted to spend at least part of the time outside Amsterdam, at some place off the beaten track.



Mrs. Luke rejected Bruges, then I came across Scheveningen, which is a beachfront resort on the coast of the North Sea. There is a hotel that’s been here for more than 100 years, and it looked nice on the internet. What the internet did not mention is that the rooms have mirrors that run from the bed to the ceiling.



We were both pretty tired from the Sex Museum in Amsterdam and its aftermath. A confession – I adore women the way that they were originally constructed – before the days of shaving, piercings, tattoos, and implants. The Sex Museum is filled with depictions of such women, engaging in virtually every imaginable fetish, as well as a generous amount of garden variety heterosexual sex. Indeed, there were only a handful of depictions of women whose bodies had been defiled by razors and other barbaric instruments. Also, there were exhibits that stirred Mrs. Luke’s various fetishes. By the time we got back to the room, there was barely time for a quick Jacuzzi .



So the next day, when we encountered our mirrored room in Scheveningen, we both had the same reaction – let’s take a nap first. That’s never happened before. We must be getting old.



Scheveningen was an excellent idea. Warm in the day, cool at night, and always the pounding of the surf providing a rhythm as we walk up and down the boardwalk, eat at beachfront restaurants and make love with the doors open facing the ocean. Tonight we ate at a beachfront restaurant called “Twins.” We sat on a couch with huge soft cushions, facing the ocean, practically on top of each other, warmed by our own private fire pit. We ordered food that we both like – a Mediterranean salad, shrimp sautéed in butter with basil, garlic bread to dip into the shrimpish butter, corn on the cob and mixed veggies. We fed each other, ate from common plates, cuddled and carried on like the honeymooners who we often pretend to be. And drinking tropical drinks on a North Sea beach as the sun sets at about 10:00 p.m. is beyond decadent.



Today we toured the Escher Museum, which was enjoyable, especially the tram ride back. There was an ultra-beautiful redheaded Dutch woman sitting in front of us on the tram, along with her three friends, all of whom would have seemed prettier if I had not been blinded by their redheaded leader. There is a category of Dutch women who are creating an archetypal response in every molecule of my body. They are always fair-skinned, natural blonde or redhead, plump cheeked, and with very deeply set eyes. Their eyes are so deeply set that it’s like looking through a tunnel to get to see them. But the effort is always rewarded by one of two outcomes – a soul twisting ball of blue energy vibrating almost as fast as the atoms that form our universe or an adrenaline inducing sphere of light gray flashing a promise of wolven ecstasy. I have on occasion seen women in the U.S. who are blessed with similar features. Now I believe that I have discovered their genetic origin. I feel a bit like the explorer who discovered the source of the Nile river.



We continue to come up with Dutch sounding words. For example, “slowenwalken”, which means walking slowly. And “peeinstation”, which means lavatory. But my favorite is “facensitten.” Mrs. Luke does not allow me to use a blade razor at home, on the theory that it will clog our plumbing. But Mrs. Luke could care less about the hotel’s plumbing, and I have been keeping my face as smooth as her bottom, which has encouraged a lot of facensitten.



Tomorrow we head back to Amsterdam, and I have some surprises planned for the always intrepid Mrs. Luke.

COMMENTS

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NoctusAngelusProcella
07:14 Aug 06 2009

good lord man a nap? lol

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LordWolf
07:51 Aug 06 2009

i was in amsterdam for about 15 min when i was in nl....but i did spend a day in bruge...very pretty town.



i know i must be odd...but i thought id proven that many times over! lol

~W~

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EssVengeance
12:48 Aug 06 2009

Cool, I've lived there for a couple of years (:

I'm glad you had fun there!!

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Well, it turns out that our waitress/goddess and Mrs. Luke have a lot in common. They love many of the same books and movies, and other things as well. And neither one of them shaves her sacred region. This is the best trip ever, and the region beyond the outer labia did not disappoint.



I am also loving the food. With all of the walking and other exercise that we are getting, I am always hungry. And the food here has all been good, especially the native Dutch food and the Indonesian food. The bacon is especially noteworthy, like a hybrid between ham and bacon.



Today we walked through Vondelpark, which is a huge park in the “taint” region of Amstersdam. Thousands of people were there, walking, biking, playing sports, sunning themselves and having an overall good time. The variations on bicycles are amazing and we made up names for them. For example a bike carrying a dog is a “doggenbiken.” We also saw “kiddenbikens”, “wifenbikkens” and “haulinbikkens.”



Mrs. Luke is giving me that look, so I gotta run – we are going to the Sex Museum now – my reward for going to the Anne Frank Musuem. I’m a little worn out, but a good sex museum always inspires me.

The streets of central Amsterdam are curved, and it’s easy to get lost. And for some reason that I will never understand, the street signs are on the sides of buildings, and in some cases there are no discernable street signs.



I have finally come up with a way to relate all of this to something that I can keep in my head. I have designated Dam Square as the clitoris of Amsterdam – the nerve center. The central train station is the hood of the clitoris, and Museum Square is the anus. Our hotel lies on the left inner labia, about two-thirds of the way down. The red light district lies on the right outer labia, about three-fourths of the way to the top.



So far we have not ventured beyond the outer labia. There is more than enough to do within the outer labia. Last night we walked through the red light district. Oh my god! There are women in windows who want to yield their treasures to me without seduction or begging. And four of them were drop dead beautiful, about 20 of them were very pretty, and most would be interesting if they were girls next door (“GNDs”) and I was not married. There were also a fair number who would have to pay me to sleep with them.



But what’s really exciting is watching the GNDs walking all over Amsterdam. The native Dutch women tend to be GORGEOUS. Lots of blondes and redheads with blue eyes, mixed with darker beauties who take my breath away. The Dutch women tend to be very muscular, probably due to all of the walking and bicycle riding that they do. But most tend to have at least a modest stomach paunch, which often makes my heart miss a beat or two and my eyes fixed and dialated, as I freeze at the sight of these delightful pleasure zones, soft refuges in their otherwise hard bodies. With their muscular legs and sensual paunches, the Dutch women are keeping me very alert so that I do not miss a single beautiful flower.



Another exciting aspect of many Dutch women is their backsides. Even the thinner women tend to have wide and luscious asses. We were walking behind three such women who were holding hands, and I had to ask Mrs. Luke if we could sit down, because my compass was pointing so hard at these three treasures that it became difficult to walk. Amsterdam is stronger than Viagra. Often I have to remind myself that the women probably shave all of their parts in order to drop my rudder enough so that I can walk.



We have also enjoyed the food. Our first night, Mrs. Luke was too tired to go to dinner, and I found an excellent health food restaurant on the left outer labia. It was late and a ravenesque Dutch beauty with coal black eyes and a paunch that would make angels cry was running the whole operation. She made me a special salad, with dried tomatoes, olives, capers and other assorted goodies, and her symmetrical arrangement of these elements was beautiful. Watching her make the salad was a treat – she had classic rock and jazz music playing and danced like an angel as she worked.



Since I was the final customer of the night, she sat with me as I ate, and we talked for a long time. I was interested in the tall skinny buildings and expressed my desire to see one from the inside. As it turns out, she lives in such a building, somewhere west of the left outer labia. She offered to show me her apartment after she closed the restaurant.



As always, this forced me to disclose the existence of Mrs. Luke. I figured that would put an end to her desire to invite me to tour the mysterious region that lies beyond the outer labia, but to my surprise, she invited us both to visit her. So tonight, we are going back to the restaurant.



Mrs. Luke has cautioned me not to get my hopes up, but I am nonetheless thinking about what miracles might transpire. Goddesses in stereo? If I am lucky, we will put the damn in Amsterdam. And even if I am not lucky, the fantasy is now permanently engraved in my library, and Mrs. Luke is already reaping the benefits. I have been making love to her as if she were two women, something that I have not done for many years. Hopefully, if the stars align tonight, I will find that it’s like riding a bicycle. And even if I am treated to only a single star, then Mrs. Luke and I will still burn the sheets in our room, a consolation prize that is itself thrilling beyond measure.

COMMENTS

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lestatsqueen
08:16 Aug 07 2009

umm.......it wud hv been better if u wud hv been my BIOLOGY PROFESSOR..:)



*DRINK FROM ME AND LIVE FOREVER......

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DarkxSidexOfxThexMoon
22:09 Jan 22 2011

And suddenly the doors opened and I realised why men are such good map readers... :)

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I feel guilty that I have persuaded so many people to follow my journal, considering how little I have posted to it. So this is an attempt to provide some genuine entertainment...



As I write this, I am sitting next to a sleeping Mrs. Luke in the back row of the upper deck of a KLM Boeing 747 heading for Amsterdam. Once I have wireless access, I will paste this to my journal.



I have always wanted to fly on a 747 – the queen of American built aircraft. And I have not been disappointed.



After we were seated, the flight attendant brought us drinks and mixed nuts. Then some woman with a husky voice started making announcements in Dutch. A confession – I have somewhat of a fetish for women speaking in foreign languages. My Lukeness was in partial bloom by the time that she finished.



Then she brought us “comfort packs”, which included blindfolds, lip balm and cute blue socks. My Lukeness bloomed more when Mrs. Luke causally removed her shoes and donned the flight socks. A confession – I have somewhat of a fetish for women’s feet, especially Mrs. Luke’s. I noticed that she had recently shaved her toes, which helped me regain some of my composure because I prefer her au naturel – but she was nonetheless alluring the hell out of me. And for some reason, I became obsessed with the idea of pillaging her feet with the blue socks still on, or at least partially on.



Mrs. Luke and I are both members of the mile high club, and I was ready for a trip to the lavatory before the plane even took off. But Mrs. Luke gave me that “ain’t gonna happen” look, so I bided my time and gently stroked her available parts and reveled in her perfume.



Our takeoff over the Pacific Ocean in the late afternoon glow was spectacular, as was the lobster salad, the medallions of beef, the lemon cake with strawberries and the Belgian chocolate. I also made sure that the flight attendants all knew that this was our “honeymoon” – a standard Lukish ploy to engender greater tolerance if our subsequent activities were detected.



After dinner, I was again ready for Mrs. Luke to visit the lavatory, so that I could join her, but she announced that she wanted to wait until we were over the North Pole. The way that she said this made it clear to me that the wait would be worth it.



It’s incredible flying over the North Pole in June, because the sun never sets completely. A reddish orange glow painted the entire horizon. I had observed a lesser version of this on an Alaska cruise, but from the air it’s surreal and breathtaking – somewhat like a friendly red sun licking the far side of our planet.



Mrs. Luke loves the vibration of an airplane. And my hand is well acquainted with her every nerve center. So it was not long until my third round of begging for a trip to the lavatory. But Mrs. Luke had something else in mind. And she had that look that made me obey without question, knowing that very good things were coming.



She told me to put my seat all the way back and she did the same. She then took our carry-ons and put them under her blanket so that it looked like she was still there. She then joined me under my blanket. Modesty precludes an elaborate discussion of the activities that ensued, but it lasted for thousands of air miles I will never forget a moment of it. I just wish that the plane engines had been louder, so that we could have been a little more vocal. Also, I did not think to use the blindfold, but this will be a long trip and I’m keeping it handy.



Oh, I almost forgot – the plane seats on KLM have a vibrating massage feature. If you take into account the blindfolds, the hot foreign flight announcements and the vibrating seats, I now think of KLM as the sex airline. And when the flight attendant paused next to us during the good part, Mrs. Luke said something about “honeymoon” and the flight attendant went away – I did not hear the exact words because my ears were fairly covered at the time.



I’m gonna try to get some sleep now, despite the fact that my seat is one big wet spot. Mrs. Luke and I have a tradition of immediately christening any hotel room we stay in, and I will need my rest to keep up with her. I just hope that the stewardess does not make any more announcements in Dutch, because I may then have to visit the lavatory alone.



Mrs. Luke is so beautiful sleeping next to me and so wonderful that I feel like the luckiest man on Earth. When we are not fighting, she is an angel. I have a strong feeling that this will be the best 9 days of my life.



Hugs and kisses to everyone who reads this, except (of course) that omnipresent interloper LordWolf, who will, no doubt, be flirting with all of my VR friends while I am gone. Have fun your Lordship, ‘cause I’m takin ‘em back when this trip is over.



Update – we made it to the hotel. Mrs. Luke was very happy to see the Jacuzzi tub and it’s now been christened. She’s sleeping like an angel and I’m gonna take a walk until I feel tired enough to sleep. There are beautiful buildings all around our hotel, and from what I’ve seen so far, there are a lot of women here who wear massive amounts of blue eye shadow. This takes me back to high school – blue eye shadow makes me feel young.

COMMENTS

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Bloodmother
18:48 Jul 02 2009

Mrs. Luke is a fecking saint and sinner to be married to you! I won't believe she's real until I meet her, and just in case she's not a figment of your lurid imagination, does she get to read this journal?

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LibidinousLuke
07:07 Jul 03 2009

Not only is Mrs. Luke real, I have been conservative in describing her charms, as you will discover when you meet her this weekend. As for what she reads or does not read, you can ask her yourself. But as you will see, she has me on a fairly short leash at this point.

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NoctusAngelusProcella
00:07 Jul 04 2009

oprah hates blue eye shadow lol hope she wasn't in amstardam lol

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ScarletVamp
00:08 Jul 04 2009

Amazing! Can't wait to read more!

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LordWolf
08:10 Jul 07 2009

sounds like your having a blast...



(interloper indeed!!!...humph!)



i love the 747...i agree...she is the queen of passenger aircraft

ive been to amsterdam...got off the bus there...got on a train



i was there about 15 min.

they had good cream puffs tho! LOL

~W~

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venumstings
14:04 Jul 14 2009

Lovely writeup on amsterdem and schevingden. I enjoyed it very much. I will see your other write ups. this all beautiful as beautiful your art works...

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venumstings
14:06 Jul 14 2009

Its Scheveningen... I am sorry for mis spelling, but this is new place to me to read about... But so lovely, the paradise...

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xxEmaeraldxx
22:26 Aug 19 2009

So, isn't it intimate in the mile high club! My ex-fiancee who was/is a commerical airline pilot and myself were members of that club too! hah

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