I have, contrarily to my original intentions, opted not to give voice at this juncture to the thoughts chewing at the back of my mind. I no longer feel that exploring them to the extent required would be beneficial.
Words transform an ephemeral concern of rather uncertain validity into hard and pitiless knowledge. And this is not the time for me to bare my teeth.
I have learned endless patience. Yet I find I long to learn that I still can end my patience. The day approaches when the things I wait upon pale before proof that I wait by choice.
COMMENTS
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Joli
11:23 Oct 21 2024
I live in that word, "choice". It's indescribably painful and hopefully soul-saving. But I can't see that far yet, so I save my soul for one more minute and try not to die in the hope that one day I will be whole again.
LiamK
19:12 Oct 24 2024
I wrote that in the middle of the night, on a bench, staying away from home because... my fiancee at the time was there
it wasn't the first thing I wrote, or half-wrote, that night. the first few attempts were, clearly, abortive.
I see VR recalls this as having been April. that was a long time before the final meltdown, it feels like.
Joli
00:00 Nov 08 2024
I didn't know that. Makes me want to reach back in time and give you a hug.